"I mean how does he do it?" Tony asked as he curiously watched Doctor Mallard slip into another impossible location to reach the body.
It wasn't long before he received a swift head slap. "Not a question we need answered right now DiNozzo."
"Of course not boss." He replied quickly, as he snapped a few photos. He was able to sneak a few close ups of Ducky, all the while watching in amazement.
As the body was brought up the hill, Tony couldn't help but ask him. "Doctor, I mean really, how did you get down there…?"
"I walked Tony…"
"Of course you walked, I meant how, cuz you're…"
"Old?"
"…der…older. That's not to say you're not still in shape, because clearly you are for a man you're age…" He stopped himself. "I should shut up shouldn't I?"
"Not unless you want to be the second body we have to extract from down there DiNozzo." Gibbs added as he passed by the two of them.
"Better get going Tony, I really would hate to have to go down there again…"
--- ---
Tony managed to convince McGee to check the Doctors debit and credit cards, while he and Abby bounced ideas off of eachother. "No record of any gym memberships or personal training…unless he paid cash."
"No one pays cash for that stuff Probie…it's ooba expensive."
"Ooba?" Ziva questioned but Tony simply ignored her.
He stood in the middle of the bull pen. "Listen people, this is a mystery that has plagued me ever since I was a Probie, and neither Gibbs nor Ducky will give an inch…we have to find out how this man is able to get to bodies, I only wish I could get to…"
"Genetics?" Abby suggested as she strode up beside him.
"Virtually improvable…"
"Diet?"
Tony snapped his fingers. "That's it." He leaned over to give Abby a swift kiss on the cheek. "Abby you're a genius….McGeek, grab your chemistry kit, you're with me."
--- ---
"Honestly Tony, I feel funny."
Tony patted his own belly. "Yeah me too, must've been the Chinese we ate for lunch…"
"No, I mean about stealing Ducky's tea bags…I mean what if he realizes they're gone?"
"There's like thirty two different kinds…trust me, he won't."
"What are we looking for anyway?"
"I don't know…maybe if they're laced with steroids, how the heck would I know?"
McGee shook his head. "You're taking this way too far Tony."
"Probie…listen. I've seen this guy crawl through brush and stay balanced on angles any normal man would tumble to their death; I gotta know how he does it."
After enduring hours of bickering and flirting between McGee and Abby, all the results had come in.
"Nothing abnormal Tony…it's all legit."
"Are you sure?"
Abby shrugged. "My babies are always sure…looks like we've hit a dead end."
Tony stood up. "Bite your tongue…there are no dead ends in police work…all that's left now, is good old fashioned…surveillance."
--- ---
"I cannot believe you talked me into doing this with you." Ziva groaned as she adjusted the photo lens.
"Like you could pass up a quiet night alone with me."
She quickly elbowed him in the ribs as she took a few photos of Ducky entering his home. "This is so wrong, in so many ways."
He reached for the camera. "Then fine, you can go."
"Go where? This is my car."
"Good call…you can stay." He tried to smile as he continued to rub his side from the previous elbow strike. "We're gonna have to get a closer look, if this place was any bigger, it'd be Robin Masters's estate…"
Ziva didn't even bother to ask what that was, and opened her door to follow behind him. Before she knew it, she was being shoved into some nearby bushes as a familiar car pulled up out front.
"Gibbs?" Tony questioned as he lifted the camera to peer through the lens. "Gibbs." He confirmed as he noticed Ziva peering over his shoulder.
"I'm outta here." Ziva whispered as she watched Gibbs close the front door behind him.
Tony grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. "You can't leave…"
"And why not?"
"Rule #15."
Ziva looks at him confused. "Never date a co worker?"
"I'm flattered but no….it's always work as a team…and right now, we're a team."
She finally agreed and decided to watch Tony's back as he paced closer to the window. "Oh my gosh…"
Ziva was a few feet behind him and couldn't see. "What?"
"Oh my gosh…"
Ziva took her eyes away from her look out. "What?"
"Oh my gosh…"
Frustrated she came up behind him and looked for herself, as both of them exclaimed simultaneously. "Oh my gosh."
--- ---
"Okay so, what'd you find out?" McGee approached as Ziva and Tony both took their seats that following morning.
"Nothing." Tony replied quickly as he saw Gibbs pass through. "Good Morning boss."
"Is it?" He replied as he set his coffee cup down and took a seat.
His response was nothing out of the ordinary so Tony motioned that'd he tell McGee later and started to punch a few keys at his computer.
"What are you gonna tell McGee later DiNozzo?"
He looked up to see Gibbs staring at his computer screen and gave a shocked look to Ziva.
"David can't save ya now Tony…now what's so secret that you have to tell McGee later, rather than right now?"
"I was just…well…it's personal boss."
"How personal is that?"
"Is what?"
"Whatever you're trying to hide…"
"I'm not trying to hide anything…"
"You're lying…"
"Am not…"
The banter ended when Tony's eyes met a Gibbs glare.
"So what did you find out DiNozzo?"
He looked at Ziva, then McGee, then back at Ziva. "That the place we ordered Chinese from yesterday has been sighted by the FDA five times in the last month…we are so not ordering from there again…"
"Oh…" Gibbs got up and grabbed his coffee cup. "And here I thought it was some shots of Doctor Mallard and me exercising last night…"
It was then; you could hear a pin drop.
"Uh…I uh…I can explain boss…ya see, it all started when I was Probie and…"
"If I hear another word about this again, I'm gonna arrest you and McGee."
They looked at each other confused. "For what boss?"
"Theft of thirty two different tea bags…" He turned to see Ziva laughing slightly. "And you David for using Agency equipment after hours."
He exited the bull pen and entered the elevator with a plastered grin on his face.
McGee took in a deep breath. "That's all you saw was some exercising Tony…"
"Not just any exercising McGeek…Yoga…"
His mouth hung open for a few seconds. "Gibbs…yoga? No way."
Ziva reached for her bag. "And we have the photos to prove it." She lifted the camera and switched it on. "Uh, you did actually take photos didn't you Tony?"
He smiled at her. "Are you kidding me? I may have been neurotically curious…but I'm not suicidal."
"Good thing Tony…" Ducky entered the bull pen from behind him. "I'd hate to see such a young life end so tragically…" he paced through and stopped himself. "And by the by, those bushes that you found yourself in…they're award winning Petunias…I do hope you'd be so kind as to reimburse me for them…" He continued through the office and turned the corner, a smiled plastered on his face as well.
Tony looked over at Ziva. "Don't look at me…you're the one who pushed me into them…"
"Aww come on, we'll go in together…70/30?"
"90/10 and it's a deal…"
"Fine…" Tony huffed as he started to punch a few keys again. "Well hey, at least we solved the mystery…"
And it wasn't long after he finished the phrase, he was bombarded with flying wads of paper and various office supplies.
Mystery solved, indeed.
--- ---
End.