"You should have seen a doctor before," Dr. Alicia Cortez said in a stern, but not unfriendly, tone.
Holly finished putting her clothes back on and sat on the bed. "I know, but I was too overwhelmed by everything."
Dr. Cortez nodded, understanding.
It had been surprisingly easy for Holly to tell her story. She didn't know if it was the doctor's warm voice, not unlike her own, or the cosiness of the private clinic, but she had felt at ease almost immediately.
"It looks like you had a severe concussion following your head injury, and this is what caused what we called your retrograde amnesia. We'll know if there is more damage when we get the results from the MRI, but it appears unlikely. All your other functions seem to be normal."
"What's retrograde amnesia?"
"It's when you lose memories that have happened prior to your trauma. In you case, I suspect that it is mixed with repressed memories for events immediately following your kidnapping. It must have been an extremely stressful situation, and your brain is protecting you by blocking it from your memory."
"I don't mind if that part stays buried forever, it's the six years that I lost that I'm worried about. What are the chances of my memory returning?"
Doctor Cortez took her time before replying, obviously wanting to choose the right words. "The brain is a delicate machine, and there is still a lot that we don't know about it. Your memory could come back fully or partially; tomorrow, or in two years –"
"Two years! I can't wait that long!" Holly exclaimed, starting to panic.
"Unfortunately, the longer the period covered by the amnesia is, the longer the recovery is likely to be. In your case, we're not talking about of few days, but six years. Holly, you have to understand that you might never remember at all."
Holly fought back the tears that were threatening to overflow and the doctor put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "Surely there something that I can do to help things along?" she asked in a faint voice.
"Talking with people you know sometimes help. Try to explore your past with these people, but don't force it. Just relax, meditate, and try to take it easy. You never know what might trigger your recovery."
She got up, took her latex gloves off and extended her hand to Holly. "I really wish you good luck. I know this is an extremely unsettling situation."
Holly also got up, still shaken. "How much is the consultation?" she asked, trying to regain her composure.
Doctor Cortez looked at her in surprised. "It's been paid for already."
"What? By whom?" Holly asked, puzzled.
"By the person who made the appointment. I thought you knew."
"Certainly not." Holly thought for a second and added: "I'd like to reimburse that person, if you could just tell me how much it cost."
The amount was even higher than Holly had expected. She took a cab back to the hotel, half-annoyed and half-intrigued by the fact that Diego had decided to treat her to the cares of a first-rate clinic.
She found Roger in his room, which to her surprise had literally been turned into an office in the last few days. A computer was sitting on the table, as well as two phones, a printer and a fax machine. Always the workaholic, she thought as she came in.
Roger quickly ended his phone conversation and they faced each other, both fully aware of the awkwardness of the situation.
Holly spoke first, determined not to talk about the previous night if she could help it. "I just came back from the doctor, I thought you should know."
"What did he say?"
"It was a woman, actually. Basically, she said that my memory could come back at any time, or never at all," Holly said in a dead voice.
"Wow," Roger answered, clearly shaken. He then added: "So…what now?"
Holly dropped on the couch. "She says I should relax. As if there was anything relaxing about this mess! She also said that it might do me good to talk to people from my past."
Roger's demeanour brightened. He hoped that this meant more time together for them. Holly seemed to read his thoughts and resumed hurriedly: "That means you of course, but also other people. Like Ed, and Ross and Blake, even if I really don't feel like seeing them. So, I think I should go back to Springfield for a few weeks, but I think that I should go alone."
Roger was severely disappointed, but managed to hide it. After all, he reminded himself, all that mattered was that she was fighting to get her memory back. He had to support her even if it meant being apart for a while.
"I'm sorry if you feel that I am putting pressure on you."
"Oh Roger, after last night, I see no other option but for us to go our own way for some time; if we were to make love again, it would only add to the confusion."
"What if I promised not to touch you until we get this whole thing straightened out?"
He looked so sheepish that Holly had to refrain from running a hand trough his silver hair. "It's too late, it's already done. Sleeping with you last night was a huge deal for me-"
"You think that it wasn't for me?"
"I am sure it was, but do you realize that to me, this is the first time that we have been together since you raped me?"
Roger fell silent, for what could he say to that?
"I know that things are different than from fifteen years ago. I know that we both have changed, but the idea that I might want you after what you did is still very strange to me. I need time alone to process that, along with everything else."
"So, last night was a mistake to you?"
Holly turned away, unable to look him in the eyes. "I think it was for you too. It was too soon and you know it."
Roger shook his head, knowing he was defeated. "Fine, I'll escort you back to Springfield to make sure that you are safe, and then I'll leave you be."
"Thanks," she said, getting up. "I know this must be hard on you."
"I suppose you'll want to leave as soon as possible?"
"Tomorrow, if you can manage it."
Roger gave her a sad smile. "For you? Anything."
After she left, he could not help but sending a pile of papers flying. If there was one thing that he hated, it was to feel helpless. And right now, there was nothing, absolutely nothing that he could do.
Holly's next order of business, before packing up, was to find Diego and to repay him the full amount of the consultation. The concierge informed her that he was out for the afternoon but that he would be sure to give the message that Señora Thorpe was looking for him and that she could be found in her room.
Her packing was soon taken care of since she had barely had time to unpack her suitcases since the morning. She spent the rest of the afternoon by the pool and had just returned to her room when there was a knock by the door.
She opened to discover Diego standing on the other side, smiling and carrying a small package.
"Did you know that my room is next to yours? What a coincidence!" he exclaimed.
She invited him and took out her check book from our purse, eager to repay her debt as soon as she could.
"Mr. Marquez", she started to say when he interrupted her.
"Call me Diego, please."
Holly coloured but obliged. "Diego. I was told this morning that you paid for my medical fees. It was really nice of you but totally unnecessary. I really have to insist on paying you back."
"Nonsense! Not to rub your face in it, Mrs. Thorpe, but I have more money than I have use for! It would really mean a lot to me if you accepted my help."
Holly scratched her head with the pen she was holding, wondering how to get trough to him. Machismo annoyed her, especially when it was displayed seemingly for her own good. She wrote the check and put it on the table between them. "Please, take it. It would offend me if you didn't."
Diego became serious when he realized that she was in earnest. He pocketed the check and ended her the package he was holding. "If it means that much to you, then I will. However, I hope that you will accept my invitation to dinner tomorrow night, as well as this small token of my appreciation."
"I'm afraid that it won't be possible; I'm leaving tomorrow morning for the States."
There was a sudden light in his eyes which she couldn't explain, and which was gone in a flash.
"That's too bad. I would have liked to get to know you better. I'm also free tonight if you change your mind, I'll be dining on the patio at 8PM."
He walked back to the door and turned before he left. "As for the package, please accept it as a souvenir from Panama. The carnival is starting tonight; it's a shame that you should miss it. It's the most wonderful time of the year in this country."
When she was alone again, Holly tore the silk paper covering a dark wooden box. She was convinced that she would hate the gift, which she was sure would be tacky and overly expensive, but she could refrain from a cry of admiration when she finally opened the box. Inside, on a red velvet cushion, rested a golden mask, finally chiselled and encrusted with pearls. A note was lying beside it, and on it was simply written "To a most beautiful and mysterious stranger."