A/N: This fic is entirely Netflix's fault... for suggesting "Yoga by Candlelight"... "because you enjoyed Descendants of Darkness. I mean, seriously, Netflix, WTF? So of course I had to write about it.
Relaxation Techniques
"Yoga? Really?" Tsuzuki asked, his forehead creased in concentration. And possibly consternation, if he was going to be honest.
"Yoga is very relaxing," Hisoka told him.
Tsuzuki considered this. It made sense, except . . . "You don't look relaxed."
"Thank you," his young partner said acerbically. "That could be because I was trying to meditate in peace and quiet. This is why the door was locked. But you blithely came in anyway, and so now instead of meditating in peace and quiet, I have to answer your stupid questions."
"Oh."
"Yes, Tsuzuki. Oh."
There was a rather pregnant pause.
"Why are there candles?"
Hisoka closed his eyes, prayed for patience, and forced himself to count to ten before answering. "Candles are also supposed to be relaxing. It's called aromatherapy. Look it up next time you're on Earth."
"Oh."
Hisoka waited for it.
"Geez, you must need a lot of relaxing."
"Yes," Hisoka said. "Yes, I do."
"'Cause this all looks, you know, kinda silly!" Tsuzuki said brightly. "I mean, the candles everywhere and you all twisted up like a pretzel. Though – " He paused suddenly, viewing the situation in a new light. "Wow, you sure are flexible."
Hisoka counted to ten. Then to twenty. He still wanted to murder his partner. "You're very astute."
There was a long pause.
"You're stuck, aren't you?"
". . . yes."
Tsuzuki plopped down on the floor next to him. "How'd you get like that, anyway?" he asked. "It looks sorta like . . . let's see . . . your arm went over here, and then one leg like this . . . and the other sorta over here and under . . . wait a second . . . oh, I get it, it goes like this!"
He heard his back make a strange popping noise.
"Uh oh."
Hisoka closed his eyes. "You're kidding me."
"No, no, I can get out of this. I can – ow!"
"I'm going to kill you, Tsuzuki."