Midnight Comforts

by

Kelsey

Disclaimer: Not mine. JKR created and crafts these wonderful characters, and only gave me inspiration.

Author's Note: I'm well aware that this will probably offend some people. I've included some warnings, so take note, and please don't flame me just because I wrote this story.

Summary: Harry needs to be wanted, and Sirius misses James, more than anyone realized. Remus Lupin comes across the results in the middle of the night. Set during OotP, borderline-child abuse (age 15 w/adult), but no non-con.

Rating: R

Remus supposes he knew what was going on all along. With his ears, he should have. But he didn't want to hear it, so he didn't.

Maybe that's why he isn't as surprised tonight as he should be. Isn't surprised to be standing outside Sirius's bedroom door and hearing the suppressed moans of two people trying to be quiet in a house full of guests. Isn't surprised to hear that name slipping from his best friend's lips.

He should really go check Harry's room, see if the boy is there. There are two distinct moans coming from Sirius's bedroom, but that doesn't mean the second is who he thinks it is. So he walks softly along the hall until he reaches the door of the room Harry is sharing with Ron, and pushes it open, hoping against hope that he will find the boy fast asleep on his somewhat uncomfortable and hastily conjured bed.

The youngest Weasley male is snoring lightly, facing the wall. The blankets are tangled on Harry's bed, and have been lain in since Kreacher made them this morning, but the boy is gone.

Remus sighs, and rests his head on the doorframe, knowing by now that nothing short of a small explosion could wake Ron, and perhaps not even that, having grown up with the twins. Silently, he withdraws from the room, pondering his options, utterly unsure of what to do next.

He tries not to picture them, but he can't seem to keep it out of his mind. In the bedroom, he knows Harry has his legs around Sirius's hips, because that's how Sirius likes it. Facing them, knowing who he's fucking. The act has always been personal-- he doubts if Sirius has ever been capable of understanding the idea of casual sex.

He wonders, though, whether Harry's eyes are closed, and if so, whether it's in pain, or confusion or perhaps pleasure. Remus is too far from innocent to suppose that the boy is getting nothing out of this-- Sirius is attractive and a talented lover. But Harry is young, much too young, and he's doing it for all the wrong reasons-- they both are.

Twelve years in Azkaban would have made most men crazy-- Sirius it spit back out scarred and tortured, but whole. Maybe that has fooled Remus into thinking that his best friend is alright, when in fact that's the thing he's farthest from. He should have paid more attention, should have been there when he needed a shoulder-- but he couldn't be. Voldemort waits for no man, especially not the comfort of one who is nearly on the top of his hit list.

His feet feel heavy as Remus walks back down the hallway to Sirius's room. There isn't a lot of space in the house, despite all the magickal enhancement, but he was the one who insisted that Sirius needed a place to go if it got too crazy. He's been cooped up in his own head for so long, he'd argued, who knows if he can deal with having all these people around. He needs a place to retreat to.

His feet slow, and the werewolf pauses for a long time outside the door. Sound filters through, muffled to any other set of ears, but perfectly clear with Remus's enhanced hearing. The moans are reaching a crescendo, and Sirius is crying out.

"James!"

Remus isn't sure if Sirius and James were ever together this way. In fact, he doesn't think they were. But Sirius always was a highly sexual being, and it makes sense that he would show his affection that way.

His thoughts are cut off them, and hee bites his lip as a throaty sound that's half-growl, half-moan comes from the other participant. That's a far too adult sound for Harry to be making, his mind remarks idly.

Of course, he isn't absolutely sure that Sirius was the one to initiate Harry's sexual education-- he was fifteen years old, and Sirius himself had made many conquests by that age. But he is sure that this isn't right, and he's pretty certain that Harry was a virgin before this. The boy he'd known in third year had been too shy to even approach a girl other than Hermione, let alone have sex with her.

Of course, that was assuming that Harry would rather have sex with a girl than a boy.

Remus forces himself to push open the door. What's about to come is sure to be ugly, and he's reluctant to do anything. Just walk away, the voice in his head says, just walk away, and everything will be alright. You and Sirius can still be best friends, and you can pretend that you don't know anything about any of this.

But so many years with the wolf have rendered Remus nearly immune to the negative suggestions from his psyche, and he ignores this one as well.

The door makes no sound as it swings open, and as there's no light on in the hall, the occupants of the room don't even notice. Remus takes in the scene before him, and wishes again that he weren't so bound by his own conscience to do the right thing.

The long, lanky form of his best friend is lying along one side of the bed, and in his arms is Harry. The boy is not nearly as tall as his godfather, but he's not as skinny as Remus expected-- his form is almost adult, if still small. The way he is lying in Sirius's arms, though, is all child.

Sirius presses his lips to Harry's damp hair, and sighs before leaning his head back on the pillow again. Remus has no doubt that Sirius knows this is wrong, knows he shouldn't be doing this, but nonetheless, he is, and Remus has to stop them.

Harry cuddles up against his godfather's form, trying to get even closer, and Remus gathers up his courage and clears his throat.

Both jump as if they have been shot, and as Sirius makes a grab for his wand, Harry pulls the covers over them. Fear is in both of their gazes, and Harry's eyes are wide.

"Remus," Sirius whispers in an anguished tone, and lowers his wand.

Remus raises his. "Lumos." A slight luminescence fills the room, making everything glow gently with golden light. Remus steps inside and closes the door behind him.

"Get dressed, Harry." Remus's voice betrays no emotions, and Harry looks quickly at his godfather before climbing shyly out of bed and starting to pull his clothes from the heap on the floor. Satisfied, Remus turns his gaze back to his friend.

"This has to stop, Sirius."

Slowly, the black-haired wizard nods, and Remus can see tears glimmering in his eyes. Sirius is barely holding together, he realizes, and instantly berates himself. Why didn't I see this sooner? I could have headed this off, stopped it from ever happening.

Harry is standing in the corner of the room, dressed now, and waiting for further instructions. Remus nods to him curtly. "Go back to your room, Harry. Go to bed."

Reluctantly, the teen leaves, and Remus turns on Sirius, who looks apprehensive. Surprisingly, though, the werewolf doesn't react with anger, only with a sense of the deepest kind of disappointment that cuts deeper than any shouting ever could. "Why, Siri?" His voice is soft, and hurt.

Sirius drops his gaze, and can't come up with an answer. Remus waits for a moment, then speaks.

"I heard you call out James's name."

Slowly, the black-haired man raises his head and nods. "He looks so much like him, Remus, but it isn't just that... He acts like him, too. Little mannerisms, little strings of words... you'd never know he'd grown up apart from Prongs."

Remus whispers this time, and it's as though he has to strain to get the words out. "Do you think Prongs would want this?"

There's a long pause, and then tears are rolling down Sirius's cheeks and his voice is choked as he replies. "He'd hate me."

The werewolf nods, more because what Sirius says is true than because he wants to make a point. "He would."

Big blue eyes are suddenly looking up at him, and Sirius's gaze is both haunted with the torments of Azkaban and full of the innocence of his long-lost childhood. "Moony, do you hate me?" He looks like he will fall apart if he receives the wrong answer, so Remus sighs and answers him honestly.

"No, Padfoot, I don't."

Sirius nods slowly. "Why?"

"Because I know you." And Remus does know him. He knows that Sirius, falling apart or not, would never coerce anyone into his bed. He knows that when Sirius made the first move, Harry responded eagerly, and he knows that the boy must have never hesitated, because there's still enough of the old Padfoot in there that he's pretty sure he would have surfaced if Harry had shown any doubt. That doesn't make it much better, but it makes him able to not hate his old friend.

"I didn't force him."

"I know you didn't."

"He wanted it."

"He's fifteen years old, Sirius."

"I wasn't a virgin when I was fifteen." Sirius doesn't sound like he actually thinks this means anything, more like he's just stating a fact.

"And neither were you sleeping with a thirty-five year old."

Sirius is silent, and Remus continues. "Harry is lonely. More lonely than I think any of us realized, and when you offered him some form of human contact coupled with affection, of course he rushed for it. I believe he made the decision to sleep with you willingly enough, Padfoot. But he isn't old enough to make that decision, and it wasn't for the right reasons.

"It was up to you to be the adult, and you weren't."

It's clear that Sirius has nothing else to say, and Remus shakes his head slowly. "This is over, Siri."

The ex-convict nods, bowing his head.

"I will be keeping an eye on Harry. And if he comes to you, as I expect he will, you will refuse him."

Again, he nods, and Remus studies him carefully for a moment before he backs slowly out of the room, rubbing his temples. As he passes Harry's door, he puts a simple alert charm on it that will alert him when either of the boys enters or leaves the room. It means he will be awoken whenever either of them needs to use the loo or get a drink of water, but he is well aware that at some point Harry will probably try to go back to Sirius, and he plans to be there to stop him.

Wearily, the werewolf climbs into bed and turns out the light. It was late when he arrived here, everyone had already gone to bed, and now it's even later. He knows it will only be a few hours before people start getting up, and he wants to make the most of them, but he knows he will never sleep tonight. So he lies in bed and stares at the ceiling and does his best to will himself to sleep through boredom.

The charm on Harry and Ron's door doesn't go off until well past eight o'clock, when everyone is awake, and Remus relaxes slightly. Sirius knows better than to try anything with the excess of people in the house, and evidently he gave Harry enough of a scare that he decided to stay in his bed for the night.

What he doesn't expect, though, is the knock on his door at ten-thirty in the morning when everyone else is downstairs, cleaning some horrid creature of some sort from yet another infested room. Remus sits up from where he's been lounging on top of the covers, reading a book, and calls out. "Come in!"

A pale, wan face peeks around the corner, and Harry steps hesitantly into the room, closing the door behind him. "Are you going to tell?" His posture is scared and his eyes are unsteady, but his voice is sure and clear as he gets immediately to the point.

Remus sighs, and pats the bed next to him. "Sit down, Harry."

Reluctantly, the boy does so. He looks up at Remus and speaks before the werewolf has a chance to even completely form what he wants to say. "He didn't force me. I wanted it, too."

"I know."

Harry looks a little surprised. "You knew?"

"I know Sirius."

That appears to be enough of an answer for the boy, and he nods, waiting for Remus to speak.

Finally, he does. "You know what you were doing, it wasn't right."

Harry plays dumb. "Because we're both guys?"

Remus fixes him with a stare that says he knows Harry isn't that young, and shakes his head.

Harry lowers his eyes, and sighs. "Because I'm too young."

This time, the werewolf nods. "That, and because you were both doing it for the wrong reasons."

This time, it's his turn to sigh. "Harry, not only are you much to young to be with someone Sirius's age, but also... he was using you. And I know it might be painful to hear--"

Harry shakes his head slowly, and Remus cuts off. "No. I knew."

A little surprised, the werewolf nonetheless continues. "He was using you. And you're much too young. I don't think it was-- but any other person would have seen this as child abuse."

The teenager shakes his head vehemently. "It was just... comforting," he tries to explain. "Sirius wants my dad back, and I..." he trails off. "I wanted somebody to want me."

Remus understands, sort of. He knows Sirius has told Harry he loves him before, and Hermione and Mrs. Weasley and probably Ron. But need, the carnal need that drives sex, is something so much more powerful sometimes. Harry can't quite believe that people love him, but there's evidence that Sirius wants him. He's can be quite sure of that need.

"It's still not right."

Harry nods. "I know." He pauses. "Will you tell?"

Slowly, Remus shakes his head. "No. But this ends, Harry. Right here, right now. No sneaking to Sirius in the middle of the night, nothing. And I'll know if you've been trying."

"Okay." Harry looks subdued, but not as upset as Remus expected. Then again, the boy has years worth of experience keeping his emotions to himself. "Thank you."

Remus nods, and watches Harry leave. A moment later, he hears him laugh from downstairs, a somewhat strained sound as he tries to get into the spirit of whatever trick the twins are probably playing. He hopes Harry will be okay.

The words on the page in his book blur before him, and Remus puts it away reluctantly. He's not entirely sure he's done the right thing-- should he alert Dumbledore, or have been stronger with Sirius? Should he have done something differently?

Eventually, he shakes his head and pushes the voices firmly away. There was nothing else to do, he decides. Sirius is too fragile for stronger words, and what would Dumbledore have done anyway? Remus can make sure this doesn't happen again, and the only other thing to be done would be to put Sirius back in prison.

In a week, Harry will be back at school, and Remus won't have to worry about this again for nearly a year.