Feeling the hard earth beneath him, having a rock for a pillow. This was normal when your sleeping outside the wire as a soldier. His patrolcap covering his face, keeping the insects away from his mouth and nose. Inhaling the smell of sweat and dust of the dirt. Suddenly the ground begins to shift and moving around him like it was water. A cold sweat covering his entire body, "SHIT" was the only thing that came to mind when starting to feel like he was falling through time and space. His limbs flailing around trying to grab ahold of anything. Panic flooding him. Moments of his life flashing before his eyes. Feeling the tight grip of death curling its fingers around him. Emptiness devours him. This is it, he is paying for the bad he has brought to the world, his life ending would be the only good thing he could do. What does life look like if he wasn't in it to start with?
No more pain, no blood, no hurt. He wouldn't be responsible for the ending of so many lives. The darkness wasn't going haunt him, he was accepting what he knew how his life would end. His breathe ragged, his heart about to burst out of his chest, there's no light at the end of the tunnel. He wasn't seeing no pearly gates and no ticket to Heaven or Valhalla, where ever soldier of death would go after carrying the buried of being an order killer. At least he was going to die in his sleep and not at the hands of his enemies. This was his life, this was his death and the only family he had was his teammates, brothers arms. They would be the only ones to mourn his death. Then there's her. She will mourn him. Remembering her face after Elijah's death, she having to catch her best friend dead in her arms and the tears that she shed for him the days after. He could see her face perfectly, tear streaked, blotchy and red. The only word coming to mind is Perfect, she was perfect even at her worst. His brightest star on a starless night. She was the only reason he pushes as hard as he did, just to stay beside her. To keep her close and safe. With his last breath he chokes out her name. "Jaz" Her name sounding like he was gargling water. The pressure against his chest made him feel like he was being held under water.
"Top." The muffle sounds of her voice trying to break through the thick layer of water he was being held under. "Top!"
"Dalton." Her becoming clearer. Warm sensation covering his chest now, shaking him. Her voice chiming in his mind as if it was the first time he had ever heard her speak.
"Adam." Her voice sounding more panic.
He woke with a startle realizing he had been dreaming. He wasn't dying and he still apart of living with a beautiful woman hovering over him. Her eyes wide and filled with worry. Her lips slightly parted, breathing heavily. Her hands still on his chest. Burning an imprint in his skin and making his heart.
"You okay?" She said in a calmer tone. Adam taking in his surroundings. He was laying on the couch in the communal living space, with the tv on and a game controller wedged between him and the back of the couch. Jaz taking a seat on the very edge of the couch cushion. No one else was awake, it was just him and her.
Shifting his body and rolling over to his side, making more room for her to sit. Trying not to move too fast, worried she would get up. He didn't want to admit to his feelings for her, because he didn't understand completely. He was conflicted being her Commanding Officer but then there was what he was feeling for her. He had never considered crossing this line. The physical closeness with made him feel calmer.
"Bad dream?" She questioned, removing her hands from his chest. Moving her elbows to rest on the top of her knees and her head is resting in the palms of her hands.
He scoffs at her question. Feeling little embarrassed as a grown man still having nightmares.
"I did. I was getting some water when I heard you." Relief fills him, he isn't the only one.
"I will tell you mine, if you tell me yours." Adam said, feeling their connection deepening.
She watching him as much as he was watching her. Taking note of each other's body language.
Her shoulders stiffen "I am sitting in the back of that van, shackled and..." She pausing trying to steady her breathing, blowing out through her mouth. "And the doors never open. I don't get rescued. That's it. I never see our team again... I never see you again. Then I wake up." She tells him, her voice shaky, but she is doing her best to hide it. Quickly wiping her face before a tear even falls. "Sorry, I'm being such a girl." She tells him, trying to laugh it off.
He fought every urge in his body to wrap his arms around her and hold her. "I thought I was dying and I was making peace with myself. I let the darkness take me and drag me under until I thought I was dead." He told her. Revealing each other's demons.
"That's rough. But I thought I heard you call for me." Jaz told him.
She heard him, when he thought he was dying and she was the last good thought he had before his death.
"You were my last thought before I died." He told her honestly.
Her posture straightens up as if she had just taken a blow to her gut. Her eyebrows raise in shock.
"Wow! That's..." She didn't finish her sentence. Her eyebrows relaxed as she was trying to process this information.
Carefully watching her, he takes a chance and extends his hand out and placing it on her forearm. Watching her for any discomfort.
"I will always come for you." He reassures her, that her nightmare would never come true. She will never not be rescued by him.
She returning the action and placing her hand on top of his. Sending a jolt through him. Making his heart beat faster, his pulse pounding his ears. Both on the couch taking comfort in each other. He was taking his time memorizing every freckle across her cheeks, her full lips pressed together and the rise and fall of her shoulder with each breath. A part of him wishing he wasn't her CO, so he could act upon his feelings for her.
The chiming of his laptop, startled them both. Pulling their hands away and Jaz standing up from the couch. Disappointment floods him and letting out a sigh.
Jaz rubbing the back of her neck trying to play off, like she was cool but he could see she was disappointed as well. Shoving both her hands into her pajamas pockets as she turns on a heel and heads toward the kitchen.
Adam getting up from the couch and shutting down the feelings he was having to jump into his duties.
Looking over his shoulder before answering the call, he watched briefly as Jaz began to brew pot of coffee. Whatever was on the other end of this call, it was going to be an early morning for his team.
"Dalton. Gear up. I need your team." Deputy Director Patricia Campbell orders, on the laptop screen.