A/N: Random chats lead to random writings. A random observation from my wonderful friend Mikell, led to this random fic. I cannot take credit for the last line of this fic. That was the line that inspired this fic. All credit for that line goes to Mikell and the summary for this story :-)
Please note: Splinter does not make an appearance in this fic, he's on a break. The entire story was a bit too traumatic for him :-(
Disclaimer: I do not now nor have I ever owned TMNT.
To a casual observer, it may have seemed a rather strange sight. Four mutant turtles crouched low in a corner, muttering to each other as Michelangelo waved a bit of cheese through the air.
"Darn thing's around here somewhere." Raphael hissed, reaching for his sai.
"Remember Raph, we're not hurting it," Leonardo muttered back, placing a restraining hand on his hot-headed brother's shoulder.
Donatello shook his head. "The author of this story would never allow it."
"Should have thought of that before she decided to let the darn thing in here." Raph grunted, glaring upwards.
"Technically, it wasn't her fault. Mikell was having issues," Don retorted.
Each turtle nodded, accepting this as fact. It was true; the sassy redhead had lately been having many issues involving a furry rodent. Hence why the author of this story had decided to capture it and set it free in the turtle's lair, believing they would be humane. How wrong she was.
"Dudes, this cheese bit isn't working." Mikey grumbled, shaking his aching wrist.
"That's cause this ain't no cartoon Mikey."
"Will you two cut it out?" Leo hissed exasperatedly.
"Wait! Look, there it is," Don exclaimed suddenly, clutching his blue-banded brother and making him jump.
Sure enough, our heroes could see the four-legged little critter run shamelessly over the kitchen counter tops, pausing only briefly to nibble at a stray chip.
"Argh." Mikey glowered. "I was gonna eat that."
Don balked. "Yeah, not now Mike, you might catch something."
"Why are we whispering?" Leo questioned, feeling bemused.
"We don' wanna scare it do we?" Raph muttered.
"Er…we don't?" Mikey looked confused.
"If we scare it we can't kill it, can we, doofus."
The elder brothers looked at their fiery young brother.
"Did you just say doofus?" Don asked, exchanging glances with Leo.
Raphael sighed pointing up. "She obviously wants this story to be child friendly. I ain't allowed to swear."
"Ok so what now bros?" The orange-banded turtle asked, eyeing the furry little critter that was presently spending a relaxing moment washing its face.
"Me an' this mouse are gonna party!" The red-banded turtle grinned.
"Cool. Can I bring streamers?" Mike questioned innocently, receiving a smack on the head.
Bending low, Raphael crawled toward the counter top. He lifted his head as he closed in.
"Gotcha!" he exclaimed, pouncing.
"Er…Raph." Leo interjected, pointing toward the sink.
Without a care in the world, the little darling sat in the sink, blinking at Raph.
He was sure if it could, it would have its paws against its ears, tongue out, chanting nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
Growling fiercely the red-banded turtle pounced again, turning the water on, only to find the little critter zooming back up to the counter top, sitting on its hind legs, continuing to blink at him.
"Dudes, it's Speedy Gonzales." Mikey laughed.
"Andele Andele, Ariba Ariba!" Don grinned, feeling a sudden urge to start waving a red flag around.
Groaning again, Raphael resisted the temptation to start banging his head against the counter top.
"I'll get you for this!" He muttered furiously, glaring at the ceiling, convinced he heard a distant laugh.
"Wait guys. Maybe there's a moral to this story." Leo suggested.
"Yeah like what Fearless?"
"Well like…erm…like…you know, Raph, I didn't write this story!" The blue-banded turtle glowered, crossing his arms.
"Wait." Donatello interjected, holding up his hands. "The author is a big fan of hidden messages right? So maybe that's what we should be doing?"
Mike blinked. "You get any of that?" He asked, turning to face Raphael who shrugged.
"Maybe we should be looking for the hidden message in this story Mikey." Don glared at his baby brother.
"Isn't that what I just said?" Leonardo seemed vaguely exhausted.
The purple-banded turtle grinned. "Yeah. I think she wanted to repeat it in case they didn't get it the first time."
Raphael exchanged glances with Michelangelo, slowly edging back toward the mouse that was currently inspecting the cereal box.
"Er…who's they?" Mikey asked looking even more confused.
"You know. They." Don waved his arms through the air in a big circle. "The poor suckers who'll end up reading this crazy stuff."
The younger brothers exchanged glances again.
"Ok Braniac, so what's the hidden message?" Raph grumbled, bringing his fist down on the counter top and cursing as the little critter dodged.
"Well maybe there's a reason Raph can't catch it," Donny suggested, shrugging his shoulders.
"Cause the author's an irritating goob, that's why!" The red-banded turtle snorted.
Three brothers exchanged glances this time.
"Er…Goob?" Leo asked, rubbing his bald head. This story was just getting weirder and weirder.
Raphael sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Pretty sure that's what Mikell calls her. Maybe she's starting to think that's her actual name?"
"So…the author is called Goob?" Mikey scratched his head feeling as if his brain would explode trying to comprehend this.
Raph shrugged, glaring at the mouse now zooming up the breadbox.
"Don' even think about!" He growled under his breath, watching the little critter position itself perfectly.
"Well…maybe the moral here is that all life is precious, no matter how small or weird looking." Mikey shrugged, earning himself astonished glances from his brothers.
"What just happened?" Leonardo asked, shock displayed openly on his face.
"Erm…I think Mikey just ended the story." Donatello replied, his eyes equally stunned as he stared at his youngest brother.
From behind them, Raphael let out a frustrated growl and clapped his hand to his forehead.
"Yeah bro. All life is precious, no matter how small or weird looking…until it shits in your breadbox!"