My name is Hisao Nakai, a little over a year ago I suffered a terrible heart attack that lead me to find out I have cardiac arrhythmia, a heart condition that causes my heart to beat erratically when I'm startled or exhausted. It happened when my would be girlfriend confessed to me, and believe me when I say the irony is not lost on me, and with a broken heart both literally and figuratively I was sent to Yamaku Academy to continue my education under careful watch of the medical staff that was never more than a mile away.
Today is our graduation day, after a year here, I'm honestly going to miss this place and the people here. I've come to know a fair amount of people, but a few stick out more than others. Misha and Shizune, they were inseparable, in-fact during the waning weeks of school they started dating and nobody was happier to see them happy than I was. Emi was a good friend also, kept me mostly in shape on the days we ran together despite her not having legs, she could run circles around everyone in japan.
Rin was a bit of an odd case, and not just because half of what she said hardly made sense, or that she didn't have any arms, we'd grown close earlier this year when she'd gone though some trouble trying to get her painting into an exhibition, out of nowhere she dropped the whole thing claiming that she 'wanted to be herself' and left everything behind. We'd been through a lot those couple weeks, but after she quit painting she's looked happier but hasn't said much. I get a weird feeling being around her these days, the way she looks at me is just sublime. Hanako was a shy introvert when I first met her, but now she's a confident woman who doesn't hide the scars of her past, but instead shows the indomitable strength of her future.
Lilly Satou, the love of my life. Quiet and reserved, the blind beauty found her way into my heart one cane tap at a time. Things got rough when she almost left for her family in Scotland, luckily I didn't have the heart to let her leave. We've been living day to day at school since then, talking about our future and what's ahead of us, today's the day we decide who's going to stay in our lives, and who we go our separate ways with.
Funnily enough, the first person I give my number to is Kenji, the psychopath from across the hall. Even now, he still has an 'out of the loop' air about him. "Thanks, us guys have to stick together even when we are far away, if I ever get a phone you'll be the first to know." His voice is a bit somber, it looks like even he knows what it means to be leaving this place, with a firm handshake I leave the dorms looking for Misha or Shizune.
I find them by easily following the sound of Misha's laughing, but surprisingly when I find them, Misha has tears running down her cheeks as she's saying her farewells to her classmates and . She spots me in the crowd and I wave. "Hicchaaa-," She yells as she sprints towards me, Shizune not far behind. What comes next is what I'd like to think as part tackle, and part hug. Either way it almost knocks me off my feet. I take a couple copies of my phone number and hand them one each, "If you ever need anything, or just want to talk please don't hesitate to call me." I tell them. Shit my eyes are starting to get misty as well, I wonder if its contagious. Likewise, Shizune writes her number on a sheet of the notepad she carries with her and tears it out for me. I almost waited for Misha to do the same, but since these two never leaves each others side, a phone call for one of them is a phone call for both.
Emi was next, I knew she'd want to have my number if only to pester me about my diet and exercise. I knew where to find her though, as I approached the nurses office I could hear her whimpering. I pushed open the door to find the them the nurse embracing her as she cried. "You can come see me anytime Emi, and call when you get really lonely. Just remember my work hours can't have you calling during a checkup or something ha ha!" He joked to lighten the mood, when she seemed to calm down a bit he addressed me. "Look you've even got a boy to visit you, don't let him see you crying or he'll confess on the spot!" Emi looked up, this was the first time I've seen her look this close to defeated, I say something to cheer her up. "Don't cry Emi, you can call me anytime. Who knows, we might be able to go running again sometime, not because the nurse told me to, but as adults and true friends." I hand her me number and pull her into a hug. She gives me a copy of her own and by the time I leave the room she's as chipper as ever.
I don't know whether or not Rin even knows what a phone is, let alone how to use one. It seems to matter less and less, seeing as how I haven't seen her since she accepted her certificates. I even went up to the pity tree and dandelion field and back, despite it wearing me out. It really bummed me out, seeing as what we'd been though she's the last person I'd want to miss giving my number too, I should have looked for her first.
I make my way back to the tea room where Lilly was waiting for me, and I was a little surprised when I saw a short copper haired maiden looking back at me. "Rin? What are you doing here?" I asked. "Is that Ms Tezuka? I asked who it was but received no answer." Lilly was probably scared that it was a boy who she rejected or something, she can't see so it could have been anyone. Even if Rin doesn't know better that's still not a very nice thing to do, I should tell her tha-. "I love you."
The words that came out of Rin's mouth were filled with emotion, a vast contrast to her otherwise monotone demeanor. "I know you like Lilly, so if I followed her here, you would come so I could tell you I love you Hisao." Is she joking? No, she's always serious. Does she not know about me and Lilly? But not even Rin is that oblivious, even with her dreamy outlook. Just as I was about to speak Lilly calmly replies. "Ms Tezuka, if you are unaware Hisao and I are currently in a relationship." Hoping that would defuse the situation she lets the comment sink into Rin, but I know her better so it's no surprise to me when she replies with, "So?"
A twitch of the eyebrow and drumming of the fingers tells me Lilly is growing impatient with the girl and quickly drags me into the situation. "Hisao, please explain to this girl that while her feelings are sweet, you only have eyes for me." I open my mouth to talk but Rin interrupts me "Hisao, you are the only one who understands me, don't you see? It can only be you." It hits me right in the heart, I know she's talking about when I helped her to understand why she can't pick her words like she wants to. I open my mouth to speak but Lilly interrupts me. "I'm sorry Ms Tezuka, but Hisao is spoken for and that is final!" I didn't even get to open my mouth as Rin retorts. "Hisao you told me, 'what if I found someone like that', and I knew it was you all this time. You wouldn't leave me alone now would you?" I... "Hisao! You love me right?" Lilly... "Hisao..." Rin... I open my mouth to speak, but there were no interruptions, in fact I couldn't speak at all.
I thought it was my own words failing me like I'd read in books, until I noticed I couldn't hear my heartbeat, or feel my toes. I stumble as I try to take a step and fall to the ground, everything feels cold. My vision is swirling to black again, just like last time, girls will be the death of me I swear.
When I wake, there isn't a bright light of a hospital lamp it's pitch black. Did I really die? Feeling returns all at once, I feel the familiar Iv drip on my arm, I feel compelled to greet it, like an old friend. I see the faint green light of the heart monitor. I'm in a hospital again, it's just nighttime. "Goddamn it." I swear to nobody in particular. You'd think I'd have grown tired of these pesky heart attacks, and the hospitals but alas here I am in the middle of who knows where with another tube jammed up my little Hisao. I look over to the machine next to me, contemplating 'pulling the plug', even though I can't see a visible plug or wire on the machine. Guess they got tired of people doing that. I close my eyes to try to go back to sleep, my thoughts keep going back to Lilly, and Rin. I love Lilly, that's without question, but I can't ignore what me and Rin went though while Lilly went to Scotland. It's not like I cheated on her we didn't kiss or anything, but in hindsight I did something even more dangerous, I got close to someone else, really close.
The morning came quickly, as I opened my eyes, Lilly's hair was the first thing I noted. She sat in a chair by my bed, her eyes closed. Was she asleep? I was about to call her name, when a voice came from opposite me. "Hisao, your finally awake." it was Rin, of course it was. This made Lilly open her eyes, cloudy and blue but focused and intense. "Hisao darling, are you alright?" the worry in her voice made me upset, more at myself than Rin but more at god than anyone. Lilly needs me, Rin needs me but I can only choose one? This must be some kind of sick joke. "Lilly," I finally speak "Rin is..." Lilly cuts me short. "Please tell her you love me so that we might leave, then we can put this behind us." She's pleading, my heart. Rin isn't saying anything, a sad look on her face telling me that no-matter what I say she isn't going anywhere, this is bad, really really bad.
The heartbeat monitor, I hardly noticed it but it started to ring out an alarm. Lilly and Rin both are startled by the sudden ringing, and notice that the machine is hooked up to me. Funnily enough I don't feel like my chest is hurting, must be some sort of medication. Lilly barley whispers my name. "You do love me don't you?" She ask, tears starting to flow. "More than life itself Lilly, but Rin..." I trail off, I don't know what to say, Lilly does. "You love her too, you don't want to hurt either of us. How could I not see?" It's a three way split, a perfect love triangle, like a stalemate in tic-tack-toe it can't end without someone being hurt beyond repair, or everyone.
I can hear a nurse shuffling though the hallways as fast as they could, bumping into what sounds like a trashcan or trolley. By the time he gets to my room though the alarm had stopped, and my heartbeat was slowing down with the solemn realization that had brought the tension in the room to a pinpoint, ready to explode with emotion at the drop of a pin. He checked his chart and scratched his head, slowly turning back around to check if they sent him to the right room. Meanwhile, I held their hands tight, Lilly's in my left and, and Rin's in my right, both of them bracing themselves for what I choose, and I've made my choice.
"Why not both?" The words ring across the empty room, stunning me and Lilly. I'd have thought Rin was joking, but she's always serious. "We need Hisao both of us, but he also needs us because he has broken heart disease, and sending either of us away will cause him to regret it forever. If he doesn't have to choose, he wont croak with that regret on his heart." She places her hand on my chest as if to emphasis her point. There's no way that would work, Lilly woul- "I agree Ms Tezuka, that makes sense, but polygamy is illegal and theirs no way around that."
Wait a minute, I know a bit about this! Now it's my turn to interrupt. "That's true Lilly, but nobody said I have to marry both of you. I can marry Lilly but still keep Rin around as a lover, it's still within the bounds of law!" Amazed at my knowledge of the subject, but still unsure Lilly carries on. "But that's adulty isn't it? I thought that was illegal too." She sounds worried, but I'm more knowledgeable about these things than even I could have know. "It used to be until 1947, it's still grounds for divorce, but only if the wife or husband deems it necessary." I end with a nod and a smile. This could actually work.
"Where are we going after I get out of here? I don't plan on staying in a hospital bed forever." I ask, the girls pause to think. "What about your summer home in Hokkaido, Lilly?" I wondered about it ever since we left, since Akira left for Scotland maybe we could stay there? "No." She quickly answers. "I don't want you setting foot their again." I almost knew she'd bring this up. Last time we were there I almost died walking to town, I'd forgotten to take my pills and it was such a long walk, my heart couldn't take it. Luckily it wasn't too serious, as there were no hospitals nearby, but in my condition there's no way Lilly would risk it again.
"My family has prepared room and board for us in Kobe, they meant for us to go to the university their, it's one bedroom though. It does have a guest room, but it wouldn't be right to make Rin..." Lilly trails off, the thought of us living with Rin too still fresh on her mind. I sit up, and put my hand on Lilly's shoulder. "Don't worry about it so much Lilly, if it comes down to it we'll all sleep on the bed together, or if there's not enough space I'll sleep on the couch like in Hokkaido, so please don't worry." I try to comfort her, it seems to take the edge off but she still seems unsure. "We can all fit on the bed, I don't have arms so I don't take up much space, see?" Rin flaps her arms around causing her sleeves to billow in the still air. I chuckle sheepishly at the display, and Lilly smiles with a worried expression as if to say 'are we really going to be alright?'. I think we are, no I know we are.
The next day I was discharged from the hospital, and not a moment too soon. We stopped by the Shanghai one last time, we were greeted by an unfamiliar woman working there. I guess our usual waitress is finally off to the university. After a quick meal we bid our farewells and Lilly asked to stop by Yamaku one last time. We walked through the gates and into the front door, I followed Lilly's lead wondering where she wanted to visit one last time. Then I remembered she is blind, this is the only place she knows like the back of her hand. We had arrived at the tea room, nostalgia flooding back to me. This is where we first met. I can't say I understand why she wanted to come back, but I'm glad we did. "Hisao, do you have a pen?" I checked my pockets and surely enough I had a ballpoint pen with me, so I handed it to her. She easily found her way over to the table near the window, and on the wall just beside the window she drew a heart with a little band-aid on it.
After that, we left Yamaku for good. I may return someday, a reunion maybe. If I live to see it that is but until then with a heavy heart I said my farewell to Yamaku, as I closed the gate on our way out I saw a girl playing with her friends, chasing each other and giggling, but suddenly she fell down gasping and clutching her chest, I almost opened the gate to go after her, but one of her friends picked her up and put her arm over their shoulder, and they walked towards the nurses office together. I smiled, and I knew that girl would be alright. After all, Yamaku is famous for it's 24 hour nursing staff.
The train ride to Kobe was long but that was a good thing, gave us time to clear the air. "And my medication?" I asked, surely that would fall on someone. "Taken care of too, between my parents and Akira we make enough to take care of us for the rest of our lives, not that I intend on having that happen. If worst comes to worst, I'm sure we'll be taken care of." Lilly finishes with a flourish. It's nice to know that if my heart prevents me from working, I wont have to worry so much.
"I don't see why you won't let us work though." Rin adds, wistfully staring into the sky though the window. I slam my fist on the chair arm. "ABSOLUTLEY NOT!" I say loudly, causing a few heads to turn my way. I cough into my fist, telling other people to mind their own business and as their heads turn back to their own seats I continue. "I hardly need to be the one to remind you, but you don't have any arms and Lilly's blind. You both are in no condition to do any sort of part time jobs, it's way too dangerous. If anyone's going to die providing for anyone it's going to be me, got that?" Probably not the best finishing line.
Worried looks on their faces, I felt bad. We all know that death is a very real possibility, I took the joke a little too far. "I don't want you to go away Hisao, I'll be lost and I don't know if I can find my way out by myself." Rin says in a monotone voice like always, but the look on her face as she looks out the window reminds me, she's always serious. "I agree Mr Tez- Rin. Hisao, you are my eyes, and her arms we are your heart so please, don't leave us. Don't even joke about it." Lilly while not quite on the edge of tears is pretty close. Great job Hisao, thanks for ruining the trip.