Part 1
Doors being splintered and broken. Angry, delusional shouts from the man behind the wooden barrier. The flash of silver knives. Her screams. Dark red staining silver. Helplessness and paralysis, draining him of energy. Dying eyes staring up at his face, begging for the silver knife to be pulled from her stomach... Daniel jolted up from the terrifying nightmare. Ripping off the covers, he stumbled to the toilet to purge the horror, the sheer consternation of the image. Fuck you, excellent memory, he thought as he threw up repeatedly into the perfectly white bowl. The pure whiteness of it made him want to take a sledgehammer to it, destroying its undisturbed consummation once and for all. And then, after he was done with the toilet, he could go practice on a couple of vases in the front room. He let the violent yet comforting image flood his mind, temporarily distracting him from the previous image.
He flushed down the contents of his stomach, watching it go down a black hole very much like his life, and went back to his bed. 5:06, read the clock. Well, damn. It was almost time to get up for work. It wasn't like he was going to be able to go back to sleep anyway. He knew the nightmarish reality only too well.
After taking a hot shower to try and warm his cold heart, Daniel threw on some relatively clean clothes he found on the floor, and raced downstairs to catch the bus for work. Even if everything else in his life had gone to hell, he was putting some effort into work, since he didn't want that to go to hell as well. If it did, then, damn, God must hate me, he thought. As an afterthought, he added, Well, if there was a God, then he wouldn't have let my life go down like the economy, would he? But then again, the economy gets better; my life sure as hell ain't gettin' any better.
As soon as Daniel got to work, the look on his boss' face said, buddy boy, you are FUCKED. Damn, thought Daniel, God does hate me...
"Daniel?"
"Yes?"
"What happened to your work ethic? It seems like it has gone down the drain since...your very unfortunate event." Marica Smallwood, his oh-so loving boss, drilled holes into his face with that well-known death glare of hers.
Well, I guess it has gone down the drain. Yours would too if...something like that had happened to you.
His stomach twisted as he remembered. The familiar images flashed through his mind, bringing back every single emotion he had ever felt about it. Mostly anger, melancholy, and regret. The usual for someone who had been through his situation.
"...Daniel? Are you trying to lose your job? Because that could very well become a reality very quickly." Smallwood looked extremely angry. She wasn't used to being tuned out or ignored by her employees.
"Ms. Smallwood? Can I ask you something?" Daniel ground his teeth.
"Yes, but word it carefully. One wrong word, and you are part of the 10% unemployment rate." Marica looked like she would have loved to fire him months earlier, but someone had stopped her.
"First of all, have you ever lost someone you loved more than the world? Valued this person more than yourself? Would do anything in the universe possible to keep that person safe and with you?" Daniel was sure that Marica was going to say no, that she would fire him that instant for "invasion of privacy."
"Maybe." Marica's face twisted slightly, but regained its former dragon-like appearance.
"Well, what would you do if you watched them being murdered in front of your very eyes, and didn't do anything, out of fear and just plain old paralysis of the mind?"
"Daniel, shut up." Her face was tight.
"Oh, and then they died in your arms? In your arms and you didn't do anything at all to help them?" Daniel's voice was little more than a bellow. His face was red with strain and anger. Angry that the little bitch didn't get that every single day of his life was going to be spent agonizing over the fucked up situation he had watched take place and had done nothing about.
"Daniel! I said shut the hell up!" Marica seemed like, in her mind, she had been to hell and back. And it also seemed like her dragon scales had been softened up a bit. But the dragon-fire was stronger than ever. Hey, it wasn't Daniel's fault that she wore either red, orange, or blue-themed business suits everyday, paired with dragon-like chunky jewelery. So that made Marica Smallwood the human dragon-boss. Daniel didn't mind. He was the one with the steel-and-iron barrier around his mind. He could withstand her flames, even at their worst.
He turned on his heel and was almost out the door when Marica spoke.
"By the way, Daniel, take, oh, I don't know, a three month vacation to get things sorted out. I get the feeling you aren't going to work any better than you are now." Marica had a sudden change of heart. Maybe it was because of Daniel's accidental pin-point accuracy of her problems. Whatever the case, at least he wasn't going to lose his job. Not today, at least.
Part 2
He didn't want to drive home right away. He wanted to hurt something. Deciding to agonize the environment, he drove around the California coastline aimlessly for hours. Thoughts raced through his head.
What the hell was that?
Maybe the dragon bitch has a heart after all. Well, scratch that. Maybe the dragon bitch has a living heart that beats, and feels blood pump through it every second of the day.
Is it illegal to burn down your house for fun? To try and erase memories?
I wonder if they have a surgery that can wipe out memories? Something that excludes a head transplant.
I wonder if I qualify for a mental institute.
God, life fucking hated Daniel. First that, then a fucked up boss? What the hell else could it throw at him?
Daniel thought too soon. Just then, a cop's blue and red lights started going behind him. Swearing so that everyone in the cars next to him could hear, he pulled over to the next parking area and stopped the car.
"Sir, you were going 20 miles over the speed limit. Can I please see your identification please?" Captain Irony of the Year had loaded up on the donuts that morning. Powdered sugar coated his chin. He didn't seem to mind, and that bothered Daniel to no end.
Daniel pulled out his license grudgingly, and with one quick swipe Captain I.Y. grabbed it from his hand. He squinted at it in the bright sunlight for a second, then gave it back to Daniel and started talking to the walkie talkie on his shoulder. Daniel zoned out. Before he knew it, he was given a speeding ticket and waved on his way.
Okay, that was just great. Perfect timing, donut boy.
The Golden Gate Bridge, Daniel's favorite hang-out spot, was just in sight. Looking at it, it clicked in his mind that he knew exactly what to do. He then ditched his car and commenced the long trek towards his epiphanic plan.
A day at the beach was a nice ending, Daniel thought. He'd spent all day at the beach, watching kids playing in the sand, children's laughter filling the air. The day was sunny and warm, the water was calm, and the sky was a light cloudless blue. He had been especially entertained when two young children, presumably brother and sister, dared each other for an hour to dip their toes into the water. It reminded him of his older brother, Nick, and Daniel goofing around in the lake at their grandparent's lake house. They would always dare each other to see who could hold their breath the longest, who could reach the bottom fastest, among other things brothers do. One summer, when Nick was 17 and Daniel was 14, Nick dared Daniel to see how fast he could turn in a jet ski at full speed without flipping over. Daniel got up to 50 mph until he went flying off the jet ski, after which he only broke his collar bone and left arm. Nick was grounded for the rest of the summer after Daniel snitched to his parents that Nick was responsible for the incident. Yes, that was one of the most memorable summers of Daniel's life, along with the summer before going off to college, during which time he and his girlfriend got stuck in the compartment of the boat after sneaking off to have some alone time, and having a search party sent after them. When they were found, both their parents were furious, and so they were grounded, but only minimally.
Daniel's teen years were his favorite in life. No need to worry about anything except for sneaking out and getting busted. He lived for summers, when he could escape to the lake house. Later on when he was old enough to drive, his parents let him go up the lake house alone on weekends, simply because they trusted him. If there were ever a time machine, Daniel would pay good money to be the first to hop in it and go back to the good old years. He would have moved into the lake house the moment he moved out of his parent's house, but it was sold to the millionaire lake tribe of Wall Street bankers who owned everything just as he was leaving for college.
It was getting dark. The beach was almost emptied, with only a few stragglers enjoying the quiet peace of falling night. Daniel had his eyes on his destination: The Golden Gate Bridge. Emptying his mind of all doubts, fears, and thoughts he had, determination was all he could feel. It rushed throughout his body like a fiery wave, racing through his veins like ice. The air tasted of sea salt and endings. Grabbing a bike that happened to be lying on the side of road, Daniel raced towards the bridge, eager to make it in time.
Taking up only ten minutes, Daniel threw the bike aside on the bridge. The city had begun to light up on both sides, and the sky was now late twilight. He rummaged around in his pocket for a second, and found what he was looking for. Matches. Perfect. All he had to do now was wait an hour, when night had clouded over San Francisco.
Exactly 53 minutes and 27 seconds later, Daniel decided that it was time. He clutched the side railing tightly, turning his knuckles white as fire. Ha. Ironic. He started climbing up. When he found his stability, he garnered all his courage, took a deep breath, and...
"Daniel! No!" Marica Smallwood was sprinting to save Daniel's life. No, wait, she couldn't. His life could never be saved.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Daniel?" Marica was out of breath, but still had her inferno going nice and strong.
"Ending this. Ending all of this. Ever since she died, life has been nothing but hell for me. A living hell. I'm as good as dead. There's nothing left for me here." By this time, Daniel had climbed back down. He actually thought this was a pretty good unexpected turn, something a famous author would include just before a character committed suicide.
"Daniel. Listen to me. You can make it better. You can do so much with your life. You've got so much potential, but now you're throwing it away over a girl?"
Rage filled Daniel's every limb, awakening the angry beast inside. "A girl, Marica? Just an ordinary girl you can find off the street? You want to know exactly what happened, just how much she meant to me?" He spat this out with a quiet, but dangerously fierce, growl.
"Sure, Daniel. As long as you don't jump off the bridge at the end, then sure."
"I loved her more than anything. The way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she looked at me when she really needed me. The way she told her stupid little jokes. They were stupid, but I loved them anyway. I remember one year, when we had that big blizzard, around last Christmas, remember that?" Marica nodded, watching him to see that he didn't sprint off the bridge now.
"Anyway, we were driving home from my parents' house, and we got caught in it. We had to pull over in a ditch, and wait it out. It was a good thing we had brought home leftovers, because for the two days we were stuck there, we had one of the most fun times you could ever imagine. Of course, our families and friends were worried sick, but we didn't care. We had each other, and that's all we'd ever wanted, all we'd ever needed.
Daniel's face took on a darker tone, and he looked ready to wring someone's neck, nice and slow, like a Crockpot. "Then some bastard had to make his damned entrance into our perfect lives, and rip it all away. It was about ten at night; we had just come back from a night out with a couple of good friends. We were getting ready for bed. She was downstairs making her usual tea; I was upstairs changing. Everything was completely calm...or so I thought.
"Then I heard her scream. I raced downstairs, just in time to see a man breaking through the back door, coming at her with maniacal eyes, spelled with only murder and blood, a silver boning knife in his monstrous claws. Me, being paralyzed with fear, did nothing as he took her down with three deep stabs in her stomach, and one deep to the chest, bones cracking as they were pushed aside by the sharpened silver dagger. After he finished with her, he stepped back, admired his handiwork with that same sanguineous appearance, turned to me, and said, 'You could have done something, you know.' Then he took his knife, now drenched in blood, and swiped it across his own jugular. When he fell, the bastard made sure to aim for her stomach again. I rushed to her side, praying to God that she would be better. But, no. Just as I needed a miracle most, I received none.
"She looked to me with dying eyes, and said, 'Why, Daniel? Why?' She died with my arms wrapped around her mutilated body.
"I would love to say that she was meant to die, but she wasn't. Some asshole who thought it would be a genius idea decided to kill someone that day, and his mind happened to fall on her as his innocent target.
"She was beautiful in every which way, even when she was drenched in her own blood, with a death sentence hernia in her stomach. I always have, and always will, love her."
Marica was shocked. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because it never came up."
"What was her name?" Marica asked softly.
"Haley." They remained silent for a minute, Daniel mentally hazing himself, Marica wallowing in her own thoughts.
"You know, Daniel, my child died because of me." She said this so softly Daniel almost couldn't hear it.
"Oh really? Do tell. Let's share sob stories, why don't we?" Marica could distinctly hear the silent knives and daggers in his voice, exactly like the one that murdered Daniel's only love.
"We had always had fights. It was quite normal in our family. I'd, of course, like every other parent of a drug and alcohol-abusing teen, never known that he was immersed in such an extreme environment. I'd only met two of his "friends", both of which had more than enough tattoos and constantly stunk of pot. Maybe they had a few STD's and criminal record stains as well, who knows.
"Well, it was especially bad one night. He had gotten himself arrested, again, for hijacking a car. It started to rain; how ironic, right? We were screaming, and, you know, the whole teenage bitching process. Being angry, no, furious, and having had enough, I then proceeded to tell him to move out and maybe go somewhere on this planet that me, Dad, and Krista, his little sister, could never see him ever again. The look in his eyes..." Marica faltered at the memory of what her horrible, life-changing words of momentary hatred had done.
She glanced over at Daniel. "It's funny how the eyes are what you remember the most, isn't it? It's like the pathway to a person's core, their soul."
"Yes. Interesting." Daniel merely grunted in agreement, waiting for the continuance of Marica's experience with death and loss.
"His entire face shattered; though only for a second. He then instantly calmed down, or so it seemed, and simply said, in a perfectly, maliciously sweet voice, 'Sure, Marica. Whatever it takes to make you happy.' And left the house." Marica's voice was breaking, very nearly letting loose the waterworks of regret and despair.
"They're almost the same words you used to delay me."
"Yes, Daniel. And I think you can figure out what his death sentence was." Marica scrutinized him carefully. Daniel understood immediately.
"He jumped off the bridge, right?"
"He did."
"How'd you figure it out, Sherlock? I had the geniusly suicidal epiphany only after I left the office."
"I saw the same thing in your eyes that I saw in his eyes. I couldn't quite remember where I'd seen it before, so I turned that look around and around in my head, tearing it asunder until I finally saw the light. Quite literally. I looked up into a bright office lamp. I drove to the bridge as fast as I could, and you know the rest."
"Yeah, I know the rest." Daniel turned to look at the metal railings of the bridge. The light from the lamps above glinted off the steel bars, like sparks. Maybe even like the "light at the end of the tunnel" of death. Daniel started to get a bit annoyed. He was going to be late for Charon's ferry ride. Marica had provided a wonderful little bedtime story before he put himself to sleep forever at the bottom of the San Francisco Bay.
Daniel was inching towards the side of the bridge. Marica failed to see this, and told Daniel that if he wanted to go home, she could bring him there.
"Come on, Daniel." She started walking off, expecting Daniel to follow.
Daniel made his move towards the dark side. Groping for his source of flying fire, he sprinted towards the railing, lit a match, and set himself on fire. He let out a scream.
"Daniel!" Marica ran towards him.
Daniel was teetering on the railing at this point. He saw the dragon-lady coming, and shrieked, "Good-bye, cruel world!", and launched himself into the unknown.
The flames licked at him, filling the surrounding air with the stench of burning flesh, burrowing deeper and deeper into his physical being until he felt he would rejoice with agony. Suddenly, however, it no longer felt as gloriously painful as it had. Rushing air was extinguishing the red and orange and yellow waves! Daniel didn't care too much, thought. He saw the lights of the city, and smelt the smoke, and heard the rushing air, and finally, felt the hard clap of the combination of air and flesh on water.
He dissolved into nothingness. Black clouded his vision.
To his dismay, he opened his eyes. Instinctively he looked down through the darkness to see his bloody and mutilated face drifting down to the depths of the river. There was a bright light above him in the water. He floated towards it, a bit disgruntled that death did not immediately extinguish one's mind and thoughts.
The light grabbed his attention. It revealed everything in his life: family, friends, his proudest moments, and work. It also revealed something else: Haley. Literally.
"Hello, Daniel." Haley looked down at the drifting body. "What'd you do this time?" She smirked.
He was in awe, his heart swelling to capacity with overflowing love. She resembled her best in human life, although slightly shimmery. Her green eyes were magnified in color and radiance, even in the murky darkness of the water. They still twinkled with mischievous beauty. Her rich chestnut hair was down in waves, flowing with the water currents. Her smooth pale cheeks still possessed their sprinkling of lightly-colored freckles. Full pink lips were just begging to be kissed passionately. The rest of her body, Daniel could not see clearly because it was shrouded in a delicate billowy white dress. Man, heaven had sure treated her really well.
"What does it look like, Haley? Killed myself."
"That was stupid. You went and damaged your spirit, Daniel." Haley looked really sad all of a sudden.
"What do you mean?"
"Look down at yourself." Daniel did so. He gasped. Whatever harm he received or inflicted upon himself as a mortal, was now permanently on his spirit as a mark similar to the one on his corpse. He saw the burn marks, the scars.
"It's for people who were killed in a violent manner. It's to help us remember what, how, and who did it. It's sort of a "control the dead" type thing." Haley was still sad. It was actually borderline depression.
"So that's why you're wearing..."
"Yeah." Daniel's stomach twisted. Now he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to be rid of his human body.
"Daniel, I can hear them. They're coming for me." Haley was already fading, the shimmer leaving the bay water behind.
"And not me? What do I do?" Daniel panicked. He didn't want to lose his beloved Haley now, not when they were reunited.
"Oh, don't worry about it. You'll be here again.", Haley was suddenly cheerful once again, "It's just not your time, that's all. Okay, 'till next time!" She quickly flowed over to him, kissed him on the lips once, and faded away with a smile and teasing smirk, hair flowing over her beautiful face.
She popped back in. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I LOVE YOU!" Haley laughed, and disappeared, leaving her laugh behind her with a ringing happiness.