A Price of Unattained Freedom

Fandom: White Collar

Rating: T/15+

Genre: Romance-Angst-Horror

Pairing/Characters: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke

Key Words/Sentences: 1,2A; 2,3B (3C is just a bonus...).

Summary: Neal was in one of his wanderlust episodes when he decided to run away with Kate, even though he knew Peter would get hurt by that...

Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to its respected owner. Some of the lines spoken by the characters I took directly from the show (ep.14), with some addition here and there to fit the theme.

Warning: hints of malexmale relationship, spoiler to S01E14

A/N: This is written for a challenge [FFC] Something is Pulling Me… by Farfalla in Infantrum. Enjoy ^_^

A Price of Unattained Freedom

It's… seemingly so far away…

Neal looked at his hands, carefully clenching and unclenching his fists. He sighed when he turned his gaze at the music box on the table. He finally got his hand on that thing, and finally… finally he could save Kate.

But there was something nagging at the back of his head. He felt somehow… wrong for doing this.

No matter how rational his thought was, he kept feeling that he had to question this… everything. The plan to escape country and to use new identity from Fowler… He couldn't help feeling there was more to this plan. Something wasn't right.

Freedom was always his dream, yet… he couldn't help feeling that it was too far… too good for someone like him.

—NealxPeter—

"You know… the first few days after you got me out of prison…," Neal mumbled slightly while leaning his head on Peter's shoulder, eyes staring at space and his forefinger caressing Peter's naked chest, creating invisible pattern absentmindedly, "I'd always wanted to run away…."

Peter was suspiciously quiet, his body not tensing at all at the revelation. "I figured…," he spoke lightly, his tone even.

"You did?" Neal stopped his hand and looked up at Peter's understanding look in a surprise.

"I mean… You're always such a free man… I understand your feeling perfectly. Doesn't mean I will ever agree, though," Peter said, flicking Neal's forehead.

"Ow!" Neal whined, hurriedly stroking his stinging forehead. "Why did you do that?" he was confused.

"A punishment for even thinking about running away from me," Peter said with a grin.

"I wasn't about to run away from you…," Neal was pouting as he sat up, facing Peter. "It's just… I don't like to be confined in one place…," he said, looking at anywhere but the older FBI agent.

"Yeah, of course… you were quite a while in prison. No wonder you felt that way," Peter sighed as he held Neal's hand. "But… you don't feel that way anymore, do you?" he then searched Neal's expression, reaching his free hand on Neal's cheek and caressed him softly.

Neal was silent and his expression was blank for a moment before he smiled. "Of course not," Neal said with an easy happy look. "I have you now, Peter. Why would I want to run from something as good as this?" He gestured at their nakedness, comfortable on Neal's fluffy bed.

Peter looked at Neal's face and blue eyes carefully for a moment, almost appearing not buying Neal's reasoning, but then he smiled back and ruffled Neal's dark hair before leaning and kissing the younger man softly on the lips. "Just to make sure…," he whispered lowly, seductively, before surging for more kisses and touches that sent Neal's mind flying to heaven.

Yet, Neal never told Peter one thing. One thing that had been happening inside Neal's head these past several days…

I don't know why… but every time I see the sky from my room… unconsciously… I am always heading out the door….

—NeaxPeter—

"Neal Caffrey and Kate Moreau are our official CIs, they work for OPR now," Fowler's words were repeating over and over, screaming like a hiss of boiling kettle in Peter's mind.

Why…? Why? WHY, Neal?

Peter was running like a wind, trying to complete with the time that seemed going too fast. He had to hurry. He had to hurry before Neal made the biggest mistake in his life. He had to hurry, or he would lose Neal… forever this time.

Peter got to the airport in time, just before Neal hoped up to the private OPR jet.

"Neal!" Peter called, shouting out Neal's name to win the howling sound of the jet plane.

Neal turned his face at Peter and widened his eyes in surprise. "Peter?"

"What are you doing, Neal?" Peter was still out of breath, but he couldn't help asking. He didn't know why Neal would do this to him… leaving him behind like this…

For Kate….

Pain stabbed Peter's heart when he saw the dark haired girl on the door of the plane, calling Neal. It stung quiet painfully.

Deep down, Peter had always known that Neal would choose Kate. He knew… he just didn't want to admit it.

"You realize I will still be going on that plane," Neal said with a tiny smile and sad dreams were slowly shattering inside the gleam of his crystal blue eyes.

"I know…, and I also know that you're making the biggest mistake in your life," Peter said, slowly managing to calm his breath down despite the ache inside his heart.

"I am a bird, Peter. You can't cage a bird and expect it to be happy, no matter how beautiful the cage is," Neal closed his eyes slowly before opening them again, looking at Peter's with determined expression. "Go home. Go back to your wife, and I'll live on my own life." Then he turned his back at Peter.

Peter chuckled slightly at Neal's exclamation. "It won't kill you to miss me, you know," Peter said again, and Neal stopped slightly before resuming his walk. "You said good bye to everyone but me, why?" Peter wasn't about to give up that easily though.

Neal turned to him again. "I don't know," he said slowly, eyes not looking at Peter.

"Nah, you know. Tell me," Peter insisted.

"You know why," Neal looked at Peter with a frown on his face now.

"Tell me."

Peter was obstinate and Neal was losing. The younger ex-con artist was silent for a moment, looking at the floor before he looked at Peter's eyes again with sad expression. "Because… you're the only one who can change my mind."

There was a flicker of doubt in Neal's eyes. Peter saw the hope to stop him. "Did I?" he tried then, locking his sharp gaze with Neal's wavering ones.

Peter could see tears pooling and a single tear escaped from the corner of Neal's left eyes. He could almost hear 'I am sorry' from Neal's expression and that single tear, before he turned around and walked away.

Damn it.

It was hopeless now.

He wants to leave…—and Peter couldn't do anything to stop him. He would never see Neal again….

Neal stopped and looked back at Peter again. "Peter…."

Peter looked up at Neal, and the blue eyed brunet seemed about to say something before he was curtly cut by an explosion of the jet behind him.

The wave of collateral blast was sending Neal fly almost two meters away before Peter readily caught Neal and protected him from any damage that would surely be received if they didn't stay away enough.

"No…!" Neal widened his eyes, "No…! NO!" fear and panicky were evident in his expression. "KATE!" He screamed in horror and tried to stand to go to the burning plane.

"Neal, don't!" Peter held him down, not letting any harm inflicted to Neal.

"Kate…! No…! No! Nooo! KATE!"

Neal was still screaming, frantically struggling to get free from Peter's hands, eyes wide, full of tears, and he kept screaming until he passed out in Peter's strong embrace….

—NealxPeter—

"How is Neal?" Elizabeth asked concernedly just outside the guest's room. She looked at her husband's tired and defeated eyes with a sad face.

"Not good," Peter covered his forehead, deep frown featuring his handsome face. "He kept whimpering Kate's name… and tossing around as if he couldn't rest despite unconscious."

"But really… what actually happened?" El was really confused and worried.

What the hell just happened? Someone tried to blow up Neal? Kate died in jet explosion? What on earth was this? El thought White Collar division in the FBI would never involve something as dangerous as this!

"I don't know, El…. I honestly don't know…," Peter hugged Elizabeth, his hands and body shaking.

El hugged her husband back tightly. Peter must have been really scared. Neal… his beloved Neal was almost blown up.

Die…!

Elizabeth paled at the horror of the word. If… if something happened to Peter as well…—she shuddered and tightened her hug even more on Peter's body, trying to give and to seek comfort from the warmth of her husband.

I won't let it happen...!—Elizabeth vowed inside her heart. She would do anything to protect her husband and Neal.

Even though I have to confine both of them inside my cage…!

~End~

A/N: This is so… atrocious. Completely, ULTIMATELY atrocious…. I can't believe that I actually made this. Wow… I have no idea I possess this… angst-criminal mind *shakes her own head*. This was supposed to be a beautiful sad piece, not a horror-induced romance…. Well, whatever. Even though it didn't quite turn out like what I had expected, I hope this can cover all the challenge.