"Please," he whispers clinging to the black robes. "Kill me. Please…just end my suffering."
Scarlet eyes roam over him coldly. "I don't see a reason for me to," a cruel voice answers. "You come here every night, begging me to touch you. You rebel against the old man to come and sleep with the one person you are supposed to hate. Yet you writhe under me and moan my name as I continue to abuse your body in any way I please."
Cold hands wind into his hair gently but suddenly yank his head up, forcing green to meet crimson. It hurt, but Harry finds himself throbbing in anticipation.
"I enjoy watching you suffer, Harry. You are a boy, too afraid to take your own life so you have come here to grovel and beg to be killed. But do you really wish to die?"
Harry sobs and allows his tears to slip down his face. "Yes," he whispers sadly. "I've been marked by you…and I've…I've betrayed everyone…I can't live with myself knowing…knowing that I've whored myself out to the Dark Lord." He spits the last part angrily.
Voldemort leans back and smirks. "I won't take your life, Harry. If you aren't strong enough to take it yourself then you aren't worth killing. Besides," he leans down and brings their faces close together, still pulling on the boy's hair. "I rather like our little arrangements." He allows his breath to cascade across the boy's lips, and he smirks when the younger of the two shivers in pleasure.
"Please…" Harry whispers again, but this time it's for something else entirely.
Voldemort pushes him down roughly and straddles him, biting on the boy's neck harshly.
"Now be obedient, pet, and do as I say."
111
Later, Harry finds himself in the same house of the Order. Every time they look over at him, he flinches, and it bothers them, but once they catch sight of the hickeys on his neck, they just chock it up to the boy wanting his privacy.
Snape keeps looking at him as if he's trying to figure something out.
Harry looks away, hoping Snape doesn't try to enter his mind.
And suddenly, Harry begins to cry. No one notices at first but when Molly offers the boy some food, they see the glistening tears on his face and immediately try to help. They'll find out soon. He's starting Occlumency soon and Harry has no idea how to protect his memories from that. He certainly won't help guard his mind. To the Dark Lord, he's just a toy. He doesn't matter, and Voldemort would probably enjoy himself immensely seeing Harry being questioned and tortured by those who had trusted him so much.
Pushing back from his chair, he falls to his knees in front of Severus Snape and hangs his head.
"Please…Kill me," he begs loudly.
The reaction is collective. At first everyone is confused, wondering if they had heard right. When the shock sets in, they quickly fall into denial, thinking that those words could have never come from Harry's mouth. But when they see him, kneeling on the floor, an air of depression surrounding him, they realize that they didn't just imagine it.
"Harry," Hermione begins. "We know you've been through a lot but think…"
"Think of the Wizarding World!" Ron yells. "We'd all be lost without you!"
They are all suddenly frightened for the boy. Who knows what he would do if left to his own devices.
"He…he's says I don't have the strength the take my own life…and he's right. I can't do it because I'm frightened…but I can't do this anymore." He grasps Severus's black robes and lets out a sob. Severus tries to conceal his disgust at being grabbed by the boy but everyone can see how tense he was. His shoulders are stiff and he glares down his long hooked nose at the boy, contempt obvious in his eyes.
"Who says that?" Dumbledore asks, patting him on the back, smiling nervously. Harry doesn't have to look up to see the twinkle in his eyes.
"Please kill me."
"The Wizarding World needs you, Harry," Arthur says, placing his hand on Ron's shoulder. He can tell Ron is upset by his friend's sudden outburst. "They really do. Without you, there would be no hope for anyone. You are the light to the darkness."
Harry glares down at the floor, disgusted with himself. "You don't understand. I can't be the hero that everyone deserves. I can't kill the Dark Lord."
Dumbledore grips Harry's shoulder. "Yes you can. I believe in you."
"Please kill me," Harry repeats for the third time.
Sirius looks at his godson in worry. "Think of everyone-"
"I can't!" Harry suddenly roars. He jumps to his feet. His eyes are a dangerous crimson color. "Can't you see? Look at this!"
He pulls his shirt off and exposes all the scratches and bites on his chest.
Molly flushes red. "All I see is a young boy who's been…with someone."
"No! It's not JUST SOMEONE! It's him! I've failed everyone and now I deserve to die!"
Sirius places his hand on Harry's back, trying to comfort him, realizing his mistake when Harry flinches. "It's okay if you like a bloke, Harry. Nothing to get all upset over!"
Harry lets out a loud sob. "No you just don't understand."
A loud rumble suddenly meets the ears of all the people in the house. They look around confusedly, wondering what was going on.
"Getting other people to do your dirty work for you?" A cold voice speaks into the suddenly silent house.
Everyone turns to see Voldemort in the doorway and gasps. How had he found this place?!
"Congratulations Order of the Phoenix, for making it very easy for me to intrude." Voldemort walks over to Harry and pulls him to his feet. No one moves. Shock has forced their bones to remain motionless.
"How did you find this place?" Dumbledore asks in a low tone. His hand twitches for his wand.
"Harry told me."
Dumbledore glares. "Liar. Harry wouldn't-"
"Oh? Just like he wouldn't…I don't know…beg for me to take him? Get on his knees and plead for me to hurt him in all the right ways? If that's the case…then yes. He would never do that." The Dark Lord rolls his eyes and slips his arm around Harry.
Harry finds himself cuddling into the cool embrace of his lover. Why? He doesn't know himself. He just seeks comfort and receives it whenever he goes to Voldemort. And that is why he keeps going back. He never has received that kind of love here with these people, no matter how hard they try to give it. Voldemort is just the kind of person that Harry needs, although he hates himself every moment for making such a decision like this.
Sirius glares. "Stop lying!"
Harry grips Voldemort's robes and places his head on his shoulder. "Please Sirius. Don't make this harder than it is."
Sirius's eyes grow wide. "You mean…"
Harry lets out a long sob. "You wouldn't kill me. Why wouldn't you do it?" he mumbles into Voldemort's robes. "I knew he would be able to track me while I was here…but you wouldn't let me leave…or die. I'm no hero. I'm a tainted rat."
Molly begins to cry.
Harry hardens his facial features as he looks up at the man who has ruined him. Voldemort looks down with almost…caring eyes…at least…that's what Harry likes to imagine lurking in the depths of those blood red eyes. He carefully leans up and presses his lips to the others.
It's as Voldemort's tongue enters his mouth that he makes his decision. He can't change what he has done. He has given himself over to Voldemort for bodily pleasures, and that was a mistake. But… Everyone has to live with their mistakes, he tells himself. Everyone. All he has to do was make it so he doesn't hate himself anymore. Harden himself to the world, change his soul to match his tainted body. Become Voldemort's forever.
"Please…" Harry whispers against his lips.
"Kill them."
They all gasp.
"And take me back home…and…punish me for my sins."
No one dares to move and inch as Voldemort raises his wand.
The last thing they hear is…
"Please."
