The intervention
Mio always prided herself on being a normal, innocent high school girl. Despite her sky-blue hair and habit of drawing erotic manga, she did her best to stay as grounded and normal as possible. It wasn't just of her volition; when your best friends consisted of an idiot, a bookworm and a robot, someone had to be the method to the madness.
Yuuko (The idiot) was not someone she'd call a bad person. Even though she always forgot her homework (And pleaded to copy Mio's) and always had an army of puns more painful than her sister's cooking on standby, she was generally a good person. A good person with an addiction.
Actually, was it more of an obsession?
In any case, ever since Yuuko had bought that new video game last week, she'd hardly ever looked up at her friends. No "Salamat Pagi!" or bad joke burst from her mouth like they always did. Rather, all her energy was spent on her games console. She'd gained some dark circles under her eyes (Probably from staying up all night playing) and on the rare occasion her hands were empty, they were always bouncing up and down, hitting invisible buttons.
She had a problem.
Today, Mio had gathered her friendship circle to have a little chat with the girl. Hopefully to snap her out of her little craze. Her living room was tidied up and a parade snacks were lined up on the little table. A quartet of teacups lay there, growing cold.
"Where's Yuuko?" Mio yawned, stretching her weary arms.
"Mai-chan's fetching her. They'll be here soon." Nano replied, taking a sip of her tea.
The host nodded and let out a sigh she'd been holding in for some time. The fact that they were even having an intervention was ridiculous enough but of course, she had to be late.
Eventually, Mai appeared in the doorway, leading Yuuko by a dog leash. The taller, brown-haired girl was playing a video game, thumbs tapping up a storm as her friend lead her to a sofa and pressed down on her shoulders, sitting her down. The fabric was flattened under her weight, but the girl herself didn't seem to notice her new position.
"Yuuko?"
Nano nudged her friend, failing to get any sort of reaction out of her other than a merger "Wassup?".
Not even a glance.
"Yuuko-chan, could you please put the game down for a minute?"
"Aw, C'mon! I'm nearly done with this level! Just a minute longer, ok?"
"Yuuko, this is important!"
Mio jumped up from her seat and placed her petite hand on the small, square box. With a grip stronger than Hercules himself, she pulled it forward. Unfortunately, the games console did not budge from the addict's hands. Rather, Yuuko flew off the couch and slammed into the smaller girl.
They plummeted to the ground, Yuuko's weight pinning Mio down like a giant boulder. Still glued to her screen, she took no notice of her friend's plight.
"This is awful…" Nano sighed, helping Mio to her feet. "We need to get that thing away from her!"
No more than a few moments later, the trio of girls had lined up behind Mio, whose hands had once again clamped around the miniature idiot box.
"Ready, everyone? 1…2…3!"
The three girls pulled harder than they'd ever had to before, sweat drops racing each other down their foreheads. All of their energy and spirit went to their arms, the layabout blissfully unaware.
And yet, the console didn't budge.
"Urgh…This isn't working!" Mio muttered, teeth grinding together.
"Mai-chan, are you even pulling?" Nano asked, glancing behind her.
To nobody's surprise, Mai was not pulling. Instead, she had busied herself with a finger of shortbread, only one hand pulling on the robot's hoodie.
"Mai! Come on!" Bellowed the girl in front.
With nothing more than a murmur of "Oh, sorry", Mai clamped both hands onto Nano's hoodie, squeezing tightly. Then, she gave it a good, hard yank.
The good news was that the game console was lodged free. The bad news was that everyone else was too, resulting in an impromptu doggie pile. The console had at least made its home in Mio's hands.
Everyone stared at Yuuko: Her eyes were definitely square.
A second later, she had fallen quite a few spaces down the evolution ladder, having been reduced to a wriggling, wobbling shell of her former self. She just lay there, squirming like a pathetic maggot.
"C'mon, Mio… Give it back…" She sobbed, not unlike a spoilt child.
"Yuuko! This is an intervention!" Mio cried, standing up to give her foot a good, hard stamp.
For a second, there was silence. Then, the caterpillar jumped up the evolution ladder back into a human girl, who promptly screamed.
"Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh?!"
It certainly got a reaction out of her at any rate.
"We all think that you've been spending a little too much time playing your video game…" Nano muttered as she and Mai clambered back into a standing position.
Years of dealing with Hakase had taught the best way to defuse a time bomb was with patience and a calm voice. Well, that and several deep breaths.
"B…But why? Angel/Devil 2 is amazing!" The addict insisted. "If you just give it a try…"
"No!" Cried Mio. "Admit you have a problem!"
"I don't!"
"You do!"
"I don't!"
"Yes, you do! Remember Tuesday?"
Yuuko paused for thought, her finger scratching her chin, brain cells being called back into action. She "Hmmm…."'d up a storm, eyes narrowing as she focused. Every fibre of her being tried to remember last Tuesday but…
"Nope, sorry!" She giggled, rubbing the back of her head.
Typical.
"Well, I do." Mio pouted. "It all started after school…"
"Flashbaaaaaaack…." Muttered Mai, quiet enough so no one could hear.
Given that Tuesday was only four days ago, Yuuko's brain had already been warped by flashing colours and scantily-clad protagonists. As soon as she'd met Mio on the way up to school, she'd shown off the game, like she had the day before. All throughout class, her thumbs had tapped across her workbook, seemingly immune from RSI. Break and lunch were no different, except for her thumbs tap-tap-tapping the wooden surface of her desk. The very second that school was over, the console was out of her bag and back into her hands.
"You didn't remember your homework but remembered that?" Mio sighed, leaning over her friend.
"Mm-hmm. I just choose to remember the important things, that's all."
It was a shame then, that homework never seemed to make it onto that list. Yuuko was even talking about bringing a folding chair to school so that when the time came for her to stand in the hallway, she could at least have something comfy to sit on to prevent her legs from cramping.
The only reason she hadn't seemed to be that it wouldn't fit in her schoolbag.
"Hey, are we still walking home together?"
"Of course, of course." Yuuko smiled, still not looking away from the screen.
Catching her bag handle with her foot, she flicked it up into the air. The leather object soared into the air like a rocket before she shot out her arm, catching the strap with perfect precision. Her bag safely tucked over her arm, she walked out of the classroom, Mio following with warranted concern.
"Yuuko, put that thing down; you'll bump into something!"
"It's fine, it's fine." The girl grinned, a victory jingle causing her to fist-pump the air.
Mio didn't think it was fine, all things considered. Especially since her friend was swerving left and right in a zig-zag pattern, halving her walking speed and doubling the distance she was walking.
Then to her surprise, Yuuko looked up.
"See?" She smiled. If I keep doing this, people will have plenty of time to get out of my way."
"It'd be better if you just put the console down," Mio muttered.
"I can't! If I don't collect this last jewel, I'll never unlock all the concept art!"
And with that, Yuuko returned to the world of her game. The two of them continued like this for some time, one of them zig-zagging up and down the hall, while the other walking in a straight line.
To be fair, the idiot's strategy had somewhat worked: She hadn't bumped into a single person. In its place, she had, however, slammed against each wall at least five times.
Mio forced herself to keep an eye on the addict, lest she end up falling over. Then, she hid her face in her hands and sighed.
She's such a moron…
When her hands lifted, Yuuko had ricocheted off another wall and was heading in the direction of stairs.
Wait, Stairs?!
"Yuuko, look ou- "
"Woah!"
The warning came but a moment too late. The game addict stepped forward, her foot meeting empty air. Wobbling like jelly, Yuuko tried to force herself upright, only for her body to move forward, hitting the flat edge of the stair with some impact. Then she fell onto the next one, then the one after that. Mio could do nothing but watch as her friend tumbled down, faster and faster
"Grrraaaaahhhh!" Yuuko yelped, doing a pretty good impression of a certain blue hedgehog's spin attack.
The stairs were arranged in a spiral, heading all the way down to the ground floor. Thus, when she reached the bottom of the first flight, her momentum kept her rolling, off the wall and right down the next set.
ThumpThumpThumpThumpThump!
And after that, the process repeated itself.
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump!
And after that…
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump!
And after th- Well, you get the idea.
Point is, after a few more flights of stairs, Yuuko crash landed on the ground floor, lying in a heap at the bottom. Miraculously, her game console remained unscratched. The blue-haired girl dashed down the stairs two-at-a-time, bending down to inspect her friend.
"Yes! Got the upgrade!"
Pumping her fist to the heavens, Yuuko let out a fanfare, doing a rather unflattering impression of a trumpet before her friend could even ask about her condition.
Mio felt like she could just slap her in the face.
"And that's what happened."
"Eh? Did it?"
Mio was about to yell something at the idiot but then realised that the hundred or so thumps to the head must have dislodged that memory from her mind. Either that or Yuuko was just being her forgetful, careless self. Probably the latter.
"Yes…" She muttered, knowing when she was beaten.
That's when she noticed a pair of terrier ears propped up on the girl's head and a smile on Mai's face. With a face that just screamed "Seriously, knock it off.", Mio removed the ear band.
"Mio-chan, can I read now?"
"Please do," The girl muttered, a hairs breath away from throwing in the towel. "Yuuko, Nano-san has prepared a short speech, if you'd care to listen."
"Oh, all right…"
The robot stood up, the giant key implanted on her back scraping against the wooden chair.
Krrrrrreeeee…
Yuuko and Mio held their ears, goosebumps invading their skin. Mai took another sip of her tea.
Ignoring it, the android plucked a piece of paper from her pocket, cleared her throat and unfolded a scroll of paper. It rolled away from her, past the couch and touched the back wall.
"Yuuko, ever since you started playing that game, you've been spending less and less time with us. The girl that made every day so bright and beautiful is no more. Rather, we are left with a shell of your former self, your consciousness taken up fully by an LED screen. Not only can this lead to dry eyes, partial blindness and thumb strain but it also has a much, much deeper problem. You are losing your humanity."
For once, the brown-haired girl looked up, tears flowing into their ducts. Mio bit down on her sleeve to stop her own tears flowing. Mai imagined what dog ears Yuuko would look best with.
"For each and every one of us, the very idea of life is a gift. As young girls, we must spend each and every day working to better both ourselves and the world. When you stare at that video game console, I…"
"STOOOOOOPPP!"
"Eh? But I wasn't fin-"
Nano looked up to see a pathetic sack of meat and hair blubbering her eyes out. The meatbag once known as Yuuko wasn't even bothering to control her own outburst, letting as many tears flow as was mandatory. She couldn't help but feel sorry for her friend, even if she had spent 2 hours writing a speech for nothing.
Tears plummeted onto the living room's wooden floor, slipping through the cracks and into the basement. Tears fell onto the cushions, staining their beauty with salt-water drops. Yuuko wailed so loud that whales in oceans far and wide heard her cry, only able to offer their sympathy from seas afar. By the time the girl had managed to get a hold of herself, she was gasping for breath.
"Tissue?" Mio offered, handing her the whole box.
Her friend nodded and snatched a handful, clearing her nose of any and all mucus.
Pffffft!
While everyone was fussing over Yuuko, Mai just sat there, examining her dog-ear headbands. Perhaps the terrier ones had been a bit much; Yuuko wasn't one for listening after all. Perhaps a Labradors?
"Yuuko-chan, do you understand what we're trying to tell you?" Mio asked, patting the girl on the back.
"I…I do…" She whined.
"Good, good," Nano added. "The first step to overcoming a problem is admitting you have one."
"Yeah…"
She gave her nose another loud blow, the brave tissue standing ground against the onslaught of germs.
"Now, let's decide how we're going to solve this problem."
Mio clapped her hands together, a lightbulb switching on in her head.
"Ah! I know!"
"Alright, this should be deep enough."
Yuuko's sleeve was then subjected to her salty sweat, the owner of the jumper panting like a dog.
"Why'd I have to be the one to dig the hole anyways?"
"Because, it's your problem," Mio suggested. "Show some dedication!"
Dusting her hands of any stray soil, she took the game console and placed it inside the shoebox they'd found inside her closet.
"Yuuko, are you sure you want to do this?"
To everyone's surprise, the maiden's face fell into a frown, taking the shoebox with her head ducked down.
"Yes. This is my responsibility."
The shoe box fell into the earth with a soft thud, quietly and uneventfully. It only took the work of a few moments to cover it. It was underground now, tucked away under a blanket of grass and soil. The quartet of girls looked at the ugly pile of soil for a moment, none of them daring to breathe a sound.
"Right, shall we go home then?"
Mio and Nano nodded. Mai stayed silent.
"Mai-chan, you coming?" Yuuko asked, prodding the girl with a finger.
The cardboard cut-out fell down.
The three of them looked at the faker. Then they looked at each other. Then they looked back down at the faker.
The pile of earth that held Yuuko's game got a neighbour, a strand of black "hair" sticking out.
It had been about six hours since Yuuko had buried her gaming device. At first, it was a godsend: Her thumbs were healing, her eyes felt less dry than they had been for weeks and heck, she was even remembering to eat!
And just like that, withdrawal systems wormed their way into her brain.
Her thumbs tapped across her sandwich, pressing down on the ham inside. Her feet impatiently smacked against the edge of her bed. Her whole body felt like it could zip down the stairs on its own accord.
So, it did.
Helpless against her own urges, the soul inside the girl's body screamed, yelled, pleaded for her legs to stop moving. No matter how much she begged herself to, Yuuko couldn't stop herself from moving downstairs, she couldn't desist from putting on her shoes and by the time she had gone out the door, she had long since given up.
"Da-da-na-na!"
Holding up her game console with pride, Yuuko's eyes glittered with a hope that other mortals could only hope to achieve. She clung to it like it was her own toddler, rubbing her cheek across its cold, clean surface.
"I can't believe I ever thought of burying you!" She squealed, coming just short of giving it a kiss. "Well, from now on, I'll be more careful. No more binging for me, I'm completely in control!"
Click
Once again doing her best pinball impression, Yuuko left the park, eyes glued to the screen. The grave had been cleaned up, leaving no trace of her having been there; the perfect crime.
I'm doing this because I want to. I can stop anytime I want. She thought to herself.
Though, whether she actually wanted to was a completely different story.
Unbeknownst to her, Mai had observed the entire process, a small smile gracing her face.
"Definitely a Beagle," She grinned.