Hello~
This is a dumb oneshot I felt like doing in my free time. There is Edwin, but that's not the main point at all. So, enjoy! By the way, this is post-manga, but SPOILER ALERT Ed can do alchemy, just for the heck of it.
Mistaken Identity
"Ed, can you come here for a minute?" Winry Elric called out to her husband from outside their house, wiping her brow due to the heat from the summer in Resembool.
"Sure, one sec," Ed responded from the backyard, finishing putting the last of the steaks on the plate. He worked his way around the house, in the front of which he saw a horse drawn wagon with something green flouncing from behind the horses. "What do you want?"
"No need to say it like that! I just went down to the market and saw this plant. It looked so nice that I just had to get it! I mean, it's really rare and stuff around here so I thought it would be nice to have in the house," she said, glancing towards the plant as she did so.
Ed shook his head, annoyed by this. "Geez, Win. You know that we can't just go around and buy everything that catches our eyes. We need to at least save some money!"
"Like you can talk!" Winry huffed back. "Every time you see an interesting book you have to buy it, no matter what the price! Now help me get my plant out of the wagon!" Rolling his eyes once more, Ed walked over to the back nonchalantly, but suddenly froze when he saw what was in it.
"E…E…E…" he stuttered, pointing towards it with a shaking hand. "Envy! How are you alive! You killed yourself!"
Winry was about to say something when he continued. "Get away! Stay away from my wife!" he screamed out, grabbing a random pen from his pocket and transmuting it into a blade. He then proceeded to jump on to the wagon, stabbing every part of the plant he could. Winry could only catch a couple words as she started to boil over in anger. "Die you-nutcracker-cross-dressing-cheesecake-skittle eating-dumb-hippopotamus-"
SLAM!
Ed was suddenly stopped from his homicidal plant slicing that was similar to the style of Barry the Chopper when something heavy hit his head. "YOU COMPLETE IDIOT!" Winry yelled out, fists shaking in the air. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BELOVED PALM TREE!"
"Palm tree…?" Ed questioned nervously, face going white.
"YES YOU JERK! MY PALM TREE!" she screamed.
"But…but…but I thought it was Envy…" Ed responded, trying his best to turn invisible.
"HOW THE HECK COULD YOU MISTAKE THEM! NOW GO BUY ME A NEW ONE RIGHT NOW!" she demanded, stomping.
"Yes ma'am," he said quickly before dashing in the direction of the market.
Winry huffed one more time and then stomped back into the house to angst.
During the course of all this, the palm tree slid onto the ground in pieces. The end.
O.O.O.O.O
Don't you love my ending?
Well, that was a dumb piece of trash written at 11pm. I'm gonna go eat ramen. Byebye. Please review!