"Ritsuka?"
He had fallen asleep.. Soubi took him in his arms carefully and went to the bed. Ritsuka was so small, nearly weighless . Soubi hugged him. His sacrifice was always warm and his skin felt very soft, like baby`s..Soubi liked that.
He put his master on the bed and searched for the pajamas. Soubi started to undress him…Ritsuka would be more comfortable in pajamas.. deep in his heart he knew that it was risky.. but that angelic peacefull face..rosy little chest rising and falling slowly ... was every child so cute?...no it was just Ritsuka.
Soubi planted a butterfly kiss on his neck… staring at the sleeping angel he felt that Ritsuka was the only thing he really wanted..the only reason.. he wanted this little frightened child to belong to him. Would Ritsuka struggle if he kissed him now? ..probably not…
Soubi was very close to his face when he froze… THE CHILD...for a moment his mind went blank… Suddenly he remembered when he was little..Ritsu..his low voice.. his hands..tears and pain.. he couldn`t defend himself then.. Two burning drops rolled down his face..
Leaving Ristuka on the bed Soubi went back hitting the wall with his back. No..he didn`t want to hurt him..he..just... loved him.. this little innocent child.. Soubi was supposed to protect him, but he couldn`t protect him from himself.. it hurt. He sat on the floor and covered his face with his hands..
Ritsu..it was all his fault.. Ritsu has made him like that.. He was a monster and now Soubi was becoming a monster too… crying silently he fell asleep.
"Soubi?.." …. "Soubi!"
he opened his eyes slowly to see Ritsuka`s worried face.. suddenly he realized that he was laying on the floor covered with blanket..his sacrifice was hugging him.
"what`s wrong Soubi?"
" when did you come here?"
"did you have a nightmare?"
Ritsuka brushed his hair from his eyes.. Soubi was speechless.. what he could say? That he nearly raped him last night?
"I wanted to see you.."
He should have left...he didn`t deserve to be comforted by that child, but Ritsuka`s hug felt soo good…those little hands wrapped around his shoulders...
"Ritsuka..do you think I`m a bad person?"
There was a silence.. Soubi thought , that he shouldn`t have asked this.. he was afraid of an answer…
"Soubi…" Ritsuka looked at him with surprised eyes..
" You`re.... strange..and you say weird things, but you`re nice to me…and we have made many memories.. so I think...I..like you"
there was a silence again…
Ritsuka blushed and looked away.. it took Soubi some time to realize what he had heared… so…Ritsuka… he felt tears burning his eyes..so Ritsuka didn`t..... looking at his innocent ebrassed face suddenly he hugged him tight..
Soubi didn`t know what to feel or say…he closed his eyes… Maybe he wasn`t like Ritsu....
I`ve got so sad writing this... T__T rewievs would be nice..