001 • Black roses and a golden smile
"I will bruise your lips, and scar your knees and love you too hard. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand, why storms are named after people."
'Draco, come,' Lucius whispers. It's over. It's done. Harry is dead; Voldemort lives. He won. Draco glances at me, we can't go around it now, it's too late for us. I don't even know if "us" still exists. I look down at my hand. A lost tear streams down my cheek, leaving a salt trail. When I look up, Draco is still looking at me; everyone is looking at us. I want to be alone with him so we can talk and make a decision together, but there is no time left. We knew this day would come, but so fast?
'Draco,' Lucius insists. He wants to get away from here and save his own ass. Coward. Draco looks at me once again and then shakes his head in grief.
'No, Draco,' I whisper softly, so soft only I am able to hear myself, 'don't go.'
One year ago.
It has been two weeks now since that unexpected kiss. Two weeks of constant questioning and intimidating looks. I walk beside Harry and Ron. I'm glad they haven't noticed I've acted a bit odd for the last few weeks. No one has noticed, since I'm always a bit… odd. 'Brilliant, but scary,'as Ron would say.
'Hermione, are you still upset about that stupid grade?' Ron scowls. I look at him and narrow my eyes.
'Yes, Ron, but of course you wouldn't understand,' I snap. Harry laughs, but he stops immediately when I give him a deadly look.
'I'm going to the library, I need to make my homework,' I say and before I can get a response from either of them, I'm gone.
It's very quiet in the library, but he is here. He is everywhere. For the last two weeks, it feels like he has been following me around like a lost puppy. Of course that's just my imagination playing tricks with me. Since our kiss, we haven't exchanged a single word. He only gives me those strange looks, which make me feel completely helpless. I've never been in this situation before and I have no idea how to act. I just feel lost and very uncomfortable.
I succeed at ignoring him while making my way to the empty chair in the corner. I take my homework out of my bag. For a second I close my eyes. He is watching me. I know it. I sigh and without daring to take a look around, I start with my homework. After ten minutes I hear footsteps coming towards me. Please, let it not be him. Please.
'Hi.' Fuck, it's him.
'Hi,' I murmur while looking at my hands. If I look up, I'm sure I'm going to blush and I can't let that happen.
'Are your hands more interesting than I am?' he asks amused. Now I need to look up and when I do I blush. Of course. I return his smile weakly and shake my head.
'Can I sit?' he asks. It's only now that I notice some doubts in his voice. He always seems so… sure. I nod and he sits down on the chair, right in front of mine, so that I need to look him in his beautiful, dreamy eyes and – stop. I can't allow myself to think like this.
'You're very quiet,' he notices. He's the first one who notices. I frown.
'Draco, you kissed me,' I hiss, 'and I have no clue why, you've hated me forever! You called me a mud-.' I can't get the words out of my mouth, but he knows what I wanted to say. He looks at me, his face unreadable. What on earth is he thinking?
'Say something,' I whisper after a long silence, 'tell me why. I don't understand and I don't like being left in the dark.'
'I don't know what overcame me.' Finally he starts to talk again. 'But I'm really sorry for calling you a mudblood. I know I've been a dick to you for the last five years, but I really like you.'
I look at him, puzzled. How on earth am I going to respond to this?
'What do you mean? You like me? I though you hated me?' I ask him astonished.
'Really Hermione, you're the smartest girl in this whole school and you haven't figured out that I like? You think kissing is some weird form of hating something?' he grins. I blush and shrug my shoulders.
'I'm book smart,' I mumble ashamed, 'not an love expert.'
'You don't have to be an expert to figure that out,' he says, suddenly he is all serious again. I grab my books and get up. I need to get out of here, before this gets even weirder.
'Hermione, wait.' He grabs my wrist and looks at me. He looks almost… desperate. Oh dear god, how can he be so cute?
'What?' I snap, harsher than I meant.
'Meet me tonight at ten,' he says, 'on the second floor, in front of the girls bathroom.'
I frown and sigh. I'm crazy.
'Okay, I'll be there, but if this is all part of a big joke to get back on Harry and Ron, you're dead. I've already punched you in the face once and I won't hesitate to do it again.'
He chuckles, 'it's no joke, Hermione. Be there.' He gives me a heartwarming smile and from inside I'm melting, but I try to act cool.
I put my books in my bag and as if I'm in a hurry I leave the library. I need to get away from all this nonsense and how father I'm removed from him and his plan to meet up tonight, how sillier I feel. What was I thinking? Draco Malfoy? The boy who has hated me and my two best friends from day one, likes me? That doesn't even come close to sounding realistic.
'You're back soon,' Ron mumbles when I storm into the Gryffindor Common Room. He frowns and scans me from head to toe, to discover what's up. Like he is going to find "Draco Malfoy kissed me!" written all over my body.
'What's wrong Hermione?' Harry asks.
'Nothing, it's just that I discovered nothing about that book of yours! I've searched the whole library, but there is no book about that Half Blood Prince!' I had actually been searching for this yesterday, but I didn't tell them about it, yet. I'm glad I didn't.
'It's just a book,' Harry frowns.
'Just a book?' Ron squeaks, 'Harry, you are obsessed with that thing!'
Without them noticing it, I slip into the girls dormitories. I take my homework out of my bag and try to finish my homework without thinking about tonight, the kiss and those beautiful grey eyes, which I completely fail at.
It's just past ten and I'm walking through the hallways. Draco is leaning against the wall, looking down at something he has in his hands. He looks sad, maybe it's because he thinks I won't come.
'Hi,' I murmur. He looks up and a relieved sigh leaves his mouth.
'I thought you wouldn't come,' he whispers.
'I told you I'd come and it's just after ten, did you give up so fast?' He shrugs apologetically and looks down at his hands. I'm wondering what it is that he has there.
'Come,' he says, he takes his hand. A pleasant shiver goes down my spine when he touches me and for a moment we stare each other in to the eyes, but then he starts to walk.
I return to the reality. I'm facing him. My love. The person I'd never expected to be my love. Not in a million years. But it did happen and here we stand. Surrounded by the ones we praise and the ones we disgust. I shake my head and close my eyes. I want to get out of here, I want to get away. I can't do this, I can't make a choice.