I Don't Walk on Water

You may say I'm a miracle man again
Here I come with my mystical plan again
I know you think I can
I'm just a man

You may say I'm a cynical charlatan
There I go with my whimsical ways again
Although you think I can
I'm just a man
I don't walk on water
(Oh no)
I don't walk on water
(Oh no)

Revan watched through the fogged transparasteel window of the Ebon Hawk as the Star Forge exploded. Bastila was at his elbow. She sighed relief.

"It's over. We've won."

Revan looked over at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Rather, I think we've been weakened."

Bastila looked up at him in confusion.

"How do you mean?"

"I don't have all the answers. My mind is fractured, but I fear this was as far from a victory as our enemies could hope."

Revan felt his consciousness take a dive and he fell into Bastila's arms. She pulled him onto one of the Ebon Hawk's dormitory beds.

"Rest then, until everything clears. Whether you've saved us all or doomed us, you have done enough for today."

She returned to the window and watched the floating debris.

"I've played my part in all of this. How weak am I?"

Chapter 1: Dead Can Dance

Savior of the Galaxy was the title placed on Revan. His shoulders were burdened with praise from the Republic to the Jedi Order. His friends and companions had endured similar praises from their peers. Even Canderous developed a reputation as the Republic's Mandalore, which he shunned. Bastila refused any order from the Jedi that brought her out of regular contact with Revan. Revan still had possession and command of the Ebon Hawk.

He was now standing alone on the balcony of his official apartment suite at Coruscant. It was night. And even with all the noise and lights, Revan was only slightly aware of Coruscant. He wasn't ignoring it, it was merely difficult to perceive; it was like trying to hear background noises like coughs and sneezes over an orchestral composition. This composition was taking shape and form in Revan's mind and it occurred to him that it was namely a requiem meant for not just Coruscant, but for all of Republic space. He had caught snatches of the overture during his ordeal with Star Maps but it seemed so much more subtle and hidden then. He felt that he should be able to determine it's nature now, but couldn't. He felt he should be able to name it or see it's face. Moreover he felt ashamed and disappointed that he could not identify it.

He heard footsteps behind him and to the left. Without turning he knew who it was.

"What are you looking at?" Came the melodious voice. It was soft and full formed in received pronunciation that sounded at times slightly haughty. Revan chuckled, perceiving the frown on her face.

"Looking is a strong word and indeed the wrong one. I merely glimpse, if that."

A concerned sigh and Bastila Shan joined him on the balcony. She was still fully attired in her uniform which was boasting it's recently acquired award. Her bottom lip was stuck out and her forehead furrowed.

"It's the visions again, then?"

Revan stared at his hand introspectively then curled the fingers to form a fist.

"Not even visions, Bastila. It's like peripheral vision."

"Perhaps just paranoia brought on by what has happened."

"I'm beginning to think…no. Never mind."

Bastila grabbed Revan's uniformed arm and turned him to reveal his face. It was a boyish face with blonde hair that had been ever so handsome and commanding yet still naïve. It bore lines of age and stress and looked deeply troubled. But Bastila had noticed that this was a recent development. Only since the destruction of the Star Forge and his old apprentice had Revan's features transformed. Bastila remembered when, on the Endar Spire she had unclasped the mask that covered the Dark Lord of Sith's face. Her very heart strung to find the demented hateful dying creature behind the mask. The creature that made it's last effort to take her life. She saw it die that day and it never truly returned. Those horrid features vanished. But these new ones were just as alarming.

"What are you beginning to think?"

"I-I just…" He stuttered, unwilling to say. His eyes looked uncertain and frightened. They flittered about until they found a scratch of resolve. "There is someplace I have to go. Something I have to…see for myself."

"If you think I'm going to let you go alone-"

Revan grabbed her by the shoulders and smiled down at her.

"It may come to that, yes." He pulled her into and embrace that was almost consolatory. "But I won't do anything foolish."

"You must be joking, me trust you not to do anything foolish!"

Revan retreated back into the apartment tearing the folded uniform from his chest and throwing it to the ground. Bastila walked back in to see him coming out of the wardrobe with an old Jedi robe wrapped around him.

"Stop!" She commanded.

Revan stopped immediately, as commanded, though irritated. He found that Bastila was using her knowledge of the force to control him more often. If the duel onboard the Star Forge had taught Bastila anything, it had taught her that Revan was more exposed and vulnerable to her than any other Jedi or Sith in the universe.

"You stop." He countered. "Stop abusing your powers over me!"

"Why are you leaving? If you don't tell me, then I swear I'll have Masters Vandar and Vrook detain you."

"I am going to find my mind. My old mind. I am missing something vital."

Bastila looked absolutely alarmed. She reached out into the force and slammed him into the wall behind him. She kept her hold, pinning him to the wall.

"There is…something…wrong." He managed.

Bastila, who was suddenly aware of what she was doing, released him.

"Look to your precious Masters Vandar and Vrook if you don't believe me. They know…if they don't then they are blind."

"Where will you go?"

"First to Korriban I sense there is-"

Her voice interrupted in a furry.

"You will never go to Korriban! Do you honestly think that you, of all people, can just wander around on Korriban?"

Revan pushed himself back up and reached for his belt that held his lightsaber when he felt Bastila's hand curl around his arm.

"No, you can't. If you need this with you then you are not going."

Revan looked up into Bastila's firm unyielding eyes. He could tell that this was one issue on which she would not budge. He looked down at the lightsaber. He remembered an odd voice that did not carry with it a name or a face. He heard it as clearly as he had heard Bastila, seconds ago. "A lightsaber does not make a JedI, and at times it makes them much much less than what they are."

He let his arm fall back to his side. He smiled and shook his head.

"I do not need it for what I do."

Her grip tightened

"Please don't do whatever you're doing. And if you must, then take me with you."

"Bastila, I will not! I am not abandoning you. There are some things about my past that must be faced and understood. I cannot…stagnate."

Her stare hardened and her grip tightened painfully.

"You will listen to what I have to say or you will not leave." She growled. "Neither you nor I are Jedi any longer. But I still feel the same destiny about you that I did when we met. I never told you that even traveling with you after you were…broken, I could foresee you saving the galaxy. I see that on you even now, whilst the galaxy has already been saved. Now that there are no more threats beyond the slight aftermath. Now that this destiny of yours should have been met and bested. If there is something that must still be done, then you will do it with me. If you have something to research let me help."

Revan knew the intense stare he'd see on her face if he bothered to look. He was reluctant to get too attached to Bastila. He believed in sacrifice far too much to have followers. But he also knew how addictive Bastila was. He didn't want to become too dependant on her should something unforeseen happen.

"You may come with me. It is nothing exciting, merely retracing steps and ancient history."

She smiled, relieved.

"History was my favorite subject."

It was mere hours before Bastila was piloting the Ebon Hawk with a complement of two droids and two lovers. HK-47 had busied itself with the analysis of over five-hundred terribly violent holovids and developing it's assessment and philosophy upon each one. T3-M4 had turned it's attention to storing and organizing a patchwork library of all the events that had taken place on the Ebon Hawk in the last year.

Revan was in meditation in the west dormitory. He could here Bastila's thoughts as she checked the hyperspace route to Korriban and then double-checked it. He could feel all the electrical animation of the Ebon Hawk as it surged through space.

"My old Master."

Revan heard the voice as if it emanated from the same room he was in. He shook out of his meditation and looked about. Then he felt it. A presence in the ship itself. An airy form of Malak materialized in front of him. Revan righted himself, battle ready.

"Your plans have been thwarted, you fool."

The creature flickered and disappeared as if it had been the product of tired eyes. Disbelieving, Revan waved his arm where the Dark Lord had been. Nothing. Just a passing ghost, a fleeting stigma of his old friend.

To think he could have taught me twice what I know now if he would have let me save him. Why did he let me damn him and not save him?

Revan warily resumed meditation. His mind flocking to the bits of the puzzle that made sense. His mind began to open like a rusted old chest. Visions poured in it.

He saw Mygeeto. He saw Malak and a younger version of himself next to a red- tinged droid. He heard his voice call out to Malak. The voice sounded strange, filled with more youth that it was now.

"I tinkered him together when I realized the Council would refuse to back us. I haven't decided on programming yet, but I've built him for the physical rigors of combat."

Malak looked the droid over interestedly.

"Is it on now?" He asked.

The young Revan nodded.

"It's active with only the most basic interactive patterns and a few personality randomizers."

Malak looked into the spiritless eyes of the droid.

"Droid, respond."

It clicked to life and turned it's head to address Malak.

"Statement: Greetings, I am HK-47."

Malak looking impressed, nodded at Revan. Revan gestured to Malak.

"Ask it something."

Malak smiled and then began to laugh nervously.

"I don't know what to ask… Droid what do you think of me?"

The droid's eyes blinked to life and the vocabulator warmed up.

"Statement: You are a sentient biological entity composed of mainly fluid and various combinations of protein. Observation: If I were to classify such an organism I would describe you as a meatbag."

Malak's face flushed with indignant anger while the young Revan began to laugh hysterically.

"That's not funny. Revan, it isn't funny!"

Half laughing Revan barked an order to the droid.

"HK-47, retain prior behavior pattern and overset the term organic with meatbag with exception to myself."

"Enough. Can we get back to the task at hand?"

The young Revan turned to Malak after ending his laughing fit.

"Do you think we will really find any crystals here?"

"It's doubtful that-"

The memory lapsed and faded leaving Revan back in Ebon Hawk dormitory. It was Bastila's puzzled voice that broke his trance. Revan looked up at her, she seemed disturbed.

"What did you see?"

The question struck Revan as odd, almost as if she was testing him.

"I saw Malak, HK and myself on Mygeeto. We were discussing crystals."

Her eyes dropped in disappointment and a sad frown formed on her face.

"I, myself, saw only a flickering image; I did not hear any sounds. Perhaps our bond is failing. Can you remember anything."

Revan thought for a moment and then nodded.

"Before our first engagement with the Mandalorians we secretly landed at Mygeeto to search for crystals for our new lightsabers. I recall the expedition was successful in that we found many crystals digging in the ash and ice in the caves. Finding the planet and landing was a difficulty, though." Revan stared where Malak had stood. "So odd how things come and go. When they do, we never seem to know why."

There stayed a heady silence aboard the Ebon Hawk. Bastila remained in the cock pit starring at endless charts and graphs of new routes and freshly charted planets. Revan, who had wandered around the ship, finally resettled in the east dormitory. He had procured a data pad from T3 and had been systematically reviewing selected material, the content of which he refused to expose to Bastila.

Revan laid the datapad down on one of the dormitory beds. It was the programming the Jedi had used after Malak had destroyed his mind. He had read it in the hopes that it would magnify the difference between what they had programmed him with and what he remembered. But it only magnified one thing that he remembered. He remembered being on Korriban with Malak. Also according to the records Deralia was his actual home planet. None of it restored any memory that should have been his, it didn't amplify or corroborate or unify any of his broken recollections and visions. Revan laid the datapad down in desperation.

"We're nearing Korriban."

Revan looked behind him after hearing the voice over the commsystem. A great red blasted world zoomed into view. A world that had seen so much but would not die. It was a great red blister in the galaxy. Revan rose and hit a button on the comm panel.

"I'm on my way. Set it down in the valley."

Revan raced to the cockpit to see the view descending into the atmosphere while Bastila carefully guided the Hawk down. He could feel so much beyond the deceptive emptiness of the planet below. He could feel millenniums of history and tradition, layers of taint and power, stains of desperation, madness and hatred all heaped onto the lonely red planet. But from the view of the surface there might not be a thing alive on the whole world. Perhaps a solitary beast or two, but no great semblance of life, and yet the place was not empty in the force. It was rich in the force like an empty floriluminum mine that still has the radiation of it's former resource yet all the source material has been removed. The planet may only be a stigmata of the force filled with power and memory but no cause or source. No greater direction to give the awesome presence of the force manifestation and form. Revan examined Bastila's face. He could see a vain attempt to maintain composure, but also could read the same feelings he felt, on her face, yet he had been on Korriban at least twice before and as far as he knew this was Bastila's first time. Last he was here, Bastila was captive.

"There's a small ionic storm forming in our wake, so don't be surprised if you get a little lightening and thunder on the surface."

Revan nodded, barely paying attention. He was focusing on the fact that this was his third time on Korriban and yet he remembered only one other instance. It was a disturbing thing, there was no telling what horrors he wrought last he was here, who was killed or what foul thing was done.

He saw the Valley of the Sith Lords come into view. Bastila landed the Hawk at the end of the valley where there was an empty level space. He felt the thud of the landing and felt the planet surface contact him like one electrified wire touching another.

"Do you want me come with you?"

Revan thought for a moment then shook his head.

"This is something I must do alone. I don't mean this as an insult, but you distract me, Bastila. When I am around you, then you are the focal point of my thoughts and all other thoughts have to make their way around you."

Bastila smiled to herself and nodded.

"I'll be waiting for you."

Revan grabbed her shoulder and gave it a loving squeeze.

"I will try not to be too long, but until I am back, keep the hatch locked and HK-47 active. Something is very wrong here and I want to err on the side of caution."

Revan felt so many things here that should be examined as he looked across the inimical dusty surface. The desiccating air of red planet felt hot and abrasive. The moment his feet touched the fine layer of dust covering the pathway, he felt a quiver in the force. It was as if something had altered. The deepening lane of the future tilted and through the unifying force there was heard an eerie rumbling as destinies realigned. Perhaps it was the locale, but Revan couldn't help but believe the change was for the worst. It begged the question of what it was on the world that when in contact with himself would cause such a change.

Revan closed his eyes and reached out into the force so that he, like a blind man, might feel for a path or perhaps a trail of breadcrumbs. He felt the various prints in the immediate area, some were brutish and large some were ancient and fading but one was sharp and devious. It was hidden in a place where one would scarce want to look. It was a small wonder that he did not sense it last he was here. He felt the old presence like an aroma of blood. Rather than an imprint it was as if this creature willingly carved his image and presence into the valley. Anyone who dared look into the unifying force in this place would see those yellow predatory eyes looking back. It stood hooded in black with a young face that was handsome and yet dangerous. Words came, but they were not the words of a mortal man, they were too devoid of humanity, they were the words of a blood hungry god. The words, themselves, seemed fractured and interrupted.

"This is…insurance. Do not… The weaklings thought.. Jedi… Blind.. Unworthy of…Force." The creature ceased speaking and turned to face Revan. It's hooded eyes widened in surprise. "What has happened? Why…here? Where is…fool Malak?"

Submitting himself to the gaze of this abomination was making him feel sick. He mustered himself to call out in answer.

"Malak is dead. The Jedi attacked and Malak turned on me. My mind was damaged."

The creature stared, it's eyes burning.

"Curse…fools. ….the collective…of a …crowd of gizka." The thing continued to spill broken oaths and curses against Malak and all the important Jedi Masters, which it began to name off one by one with it's own unique and creative curses.

"What will I do?" Asked Revan, interrupting.

He saw the creature turn it's eyes back upon him and approach. It kneeled and placed a hand on him. Revan could swear he felt cold blistering on his shoulder as sweat began to run down his back. It's face came close to Revan's ear. He heard the following:

"…The…edge. Xendor's…not true sith..unworthy…..powerful cowards. …search the massassi temple."

It vanished. Revan opened his eyes and felt the sickness well up in him. He gave forward and retched. That thing had been him only years ago. Revan was overcome with a powerful urge to leave this ghost planet. He was by far unready to delve any deeper. He had expected the truth to be…kinder. He had another errand to attend to that would help him forestall what must be done here.

Bastila had the datapad that Revan had been pouring over minutes ago. It contained his programming. She tossed it back upon the bed. She had read it before though she was told to disavow any knowledge of it. It seemed to her then, and certainly now, like a cheap low trick card to play, especially for venerable Jedi Masters. The majority of it was Vandar's deviousness. It felt odd for her to pass judgment on Jedi Masters. But such an act displayed two things: fear and lack of power. Not once did they bother to probe Revan's ways. They backed away from the Mandalorian war so they could meditate on it but never did they attempt to understand one who has already, twice, proven greater than the sum of them. They merely reprogrammed his mind to conform back to their ways.

Bastila rose from the bed. It was small wonder why she left the order. The hypocrisy of the Masters and their teachings made her shudder. It's an irony that their actions of cowardice and fear best represent their enemy than themselves.

The pneumatics of the loading ramp gave a hiss as it lowered. Bastila ran outside the dormitory to see Revan standing somewhat the worse for wear. His hair was matted and his eyes looked wild and unsettled.

"You haven't been here for more than a standard hour!"

Revan walked past her, into the astrogation room and sat in a chair. Bastila sat next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. In response he shook his head.

"I was not warmly received."

"Revan, lets go back to Coruscant. There are no more threats for the galaxy."

He stalked away to the west dormitory, his chin clutched in his hand. Bastila had thought he was going to meditate some more when he returned with a question on his face.

"Did the council know I was from Deralia?"

Bastila's face did a double-take. How did he expect her to know? The datapad hadn't mentioned Deralia.

"Revan, the council knew next to nothing about you. Malak probably knew you best."

Revan formed a fist and swung it through the holographic astrochart. After he watched the scattered holograph reassemble he sat down and held his face in his hands.

"Where did they get the name Deralia?" He said through his fingers.

She raised her hands in an ignorant shrug.

"They might've known something but they would've never told me. Perhaps you remembered it on your own."

He turned back to her.

"Could you contact them? Contact Master Vandar and ask him the specifics."

Bastila scoffed.

"I doubt he would want you to know anything about your past."

Revan's eyes narrowed in frustration and anger. The idea that the Jedi wouldn't reveal to him his past was ridiculous but of course he knew Bastila was right.

"That is hardly his concern. It's not his past to delegate, it is mine."

Bastila's eyes lowered in submission. She knew he would be as stubborn about this as was necessary and she really couldn't think of a reason to refuse him.

"I will try."

He nodded, his anger subsiding.

"That is all any reasonable person may ask. I will be in the west dormitory."

Revan folded his legs underneath him and laid his arms in his lap. He was alone in the dormitory and had sealed the door upon entering. He relaxed his muscles and opened up to the swirling tendrils of the force. He could feel his mind slide from the Ebon Hawk west dormitory. He felt his consciousness lift out of his head, his body crackling to a paralyzed numbness. He dared to closed his eyes. One thought, or even less than a thought entered his mind. Malak.

He saw his old friend cloaked in a dark black tunic with his orange lightsaber to his belt. The lightsaber that would eventually turn red. Malak had a nervous confused smile on his face as he followed a dark hooded figure. Malak's voice rang out in the warm soft tone of a friend rather than an apprentice.

"What is this, Revan? This place feels cold and threatening. We should be in Ragnos' tomb; the map is most likely hidden there."

A dark gurgling voice floated from the cloaked figure. The voice, unlike Malak's was bristling with hate and power. It spoke to an apprentice rather than a friend.

"It's true, the map is in Ragnos' tomb, but there is something important here as well. Something very important. It is the why to our precious Star Forge."

"But Revan, the Mandalorians."

"Fool! You see the…"

The figure stopped and turned on Malak. The hood of the cloak was pulled so far over that no face could be made out in the dark. Malak hated seeing his friend like this, it unnerved him. It made him consider that leaving the order might have been a mistake. The figure raised a hand to stop Malak. The figure rotated the palm up in a peaceful gesture.

"I apologize, friend. The Mandalorians are but a symptom. Look at their bloodthirsty rampage. You know that pulse of bloodlust well, do you not?. Remember what happened on Nar Shaddaa. Poor Endo. You cut him down with no more compunction than stepping on a bug."

Malak's face faltered and blushed slightly.

"What of Endo?"

The figure's hand disappeared into the sleeve of his black cloak as he lowered it.

"What caused that event?"

"He threatened us!"

The figure was silent for a time before the voice floated from it again.

"No! He merely wished for five credits. Yet you attacked him. Why?"

"He wore a carbine that could've easily been sold for fifty and he brandished it at us! Why must you kick me like this? Have I not been ever faithful, no matter your darkness?"

"My Darkness?" The creature hissed. "Endo was not then, nor ever had been, in any stage of his pitiful spice-smuggling life, a threat to either you or me. Think! What caused you to attack him? What was, through the shadows of the force, urging you to violence? Examine and treat the symptom, of course, but find the cause, the source."

Malak stopped in thought and then looked up in absolute horror.

"You!"

The figure's hands reappeared to pull his hood back revealing a dark gray blistered face with yellow eyes stinging with hate. There was an approving smile on that face.

"Do you know why?" It said with a sneer.

"Betrayal! Revan, I wished to avoid this. You are not yourself."

Malak drew his lightsaber and the blade sprang to a deadly orange glow.

"Are you going to kill me, Malak? I don't think you should."

Malak's face was swollen with desperation and maybe one or two tears fell from his watery eyes. The lightsaber powered down.

"What have you done, Revan? Why couldn't we just be strong and do what the council could not?"

Revan's smile disappeared and a look, of what could've been sorrow, replaced it.

"That my friend is exactly what must be done. I prompted you to kill Endo in order that you would look for the cause. I did it so this very vital lesson would not be lost on you. If you disapprove of my methods then I suggest you learn from the Jedi. Their response to this veiled force was fear. The Jedi are similar to us in that neither of us are what we should be or were meant to be. If the Jedi were as they should be, then we would never have left. I watched the Jedi when Onderon fell. They did nothing. And do you know why?"

"No." Malak admitted.

"Because in their pacified wisdom they failed to see how to treat the symptom and search for the cause. They saw the same marks I saw, but were terrified and too fully sunk in their own maudlin impressions of the force to take action. They knew that the Mandalorians had not just decided to attack. There was no sign that they had any intention of countering or taking steps against utter destruction. In that moment, Malak, I saw it! Jedi weakness. They were afraid. Afraid of something that will attack at the slightest show of weakness. Even my own connection to the force had been shaken. I felt the same weakness they did, Malak."

Malak stirred nervously.

"There is not enough strength and initiative in the Jedi ways. You know, Malak. You've seen weakness and pacifism in action, do you think that such a force will meet an aggressive force? Do you think the weakling Republic will be able to turn aside disaster or even survive the Mandalorians? Walk with me on the only path of decisive power! The power to meet aggression without fear."

The figure held out it's hand, as if welcoming Malak. Malak saw the hand and sadness and anger traded places on his face.

"I-I am always with you, Revan."

The figure smiled and his eyes widened.

"Come with me, Darth Malak."

Malak reached out to take the hand with his right hand. But Revan saw his left hand. He saw it wrap back around the lightsaber. He smiled.

"I knew you would see the truth, Malak. And-"

Malak ignited his lightsaber and swung it at Revan's face, but the lightsaber met Revan's own glistening red saber in a parry. Malak looked up into his old friend's face. Hate and strength sparked from those yellow eyes, no fear, no peace, no mercy.

"The Power."

Revan twisted his grip on Malak's saber and pushed over Malak's defense and slashed Malak's face. Malak's face shattered into seared pieces and Malak, himself, fell to the ground. Revan looked at the fallen Malak with sadness.

"I try and fail, Malak. I must admit that I cannot make you see, just as I could not make the Jedi see. But if you cannot assist as I intended, you will at least make a formidable pawn. You could have aided me against the-"

The vision faded back to the Ebon Hawk lonely dormitory.

"No dammit! NO!"

Revan whirled up and punched the durasteel wall of the dormitory. Bastila rushed into the room with alarm on her soft features.

"Are you alright, my love? What's wrong?"

Revan braced his back against the wall and began to slide down it holding his head with his hands.

"It's maddening. I was so close."