i do not own these characters created by Tamora Pierce or the song from wicked
Hands touch, eyes
meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy
whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:
It was Alanna's 17th birthday and there she was, miserable, standing in a corner of the ballroom staring at Prince Jonathan dance with Lady Delia. Delia was dressed in splendor. She had a low cut crimson gown encrusted with pearls. Jon was just as elegant-to Alanna even more so- in black pants with a cream shirt and a tunic the same sapphire blue as his eyes. Alanna felt ugly in her cream breeches and green tunic compared to the beautiful Delia. But what could she do? She wanted Jon in a way that scared her but h did not seem to want her. He had not tried to kiss her in weeks.
Don't dream too
far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of
joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
As Alanna watched Jon whirl Delia around the dance floor she had to master the impulse to push Delia off of Jon. She scolded herself internally. "I am a squire! Jon's squire! This is not how I should be acting!" She had masqueraded as a boy for all these years and she wasn't about to let it slip over one silly dance. And yet…
Ev'ry so often we
long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that
doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Leaning against the wall Alanna felt a silly smile cross her face. She immediately pinched herself. "Snap out of it!" she told herself crossly. For the third time that night she had to shake herself out of her daydreams. She was dreaming of Jon dancing with her. She was the one in his arms laughing at his jokes. She would be the one going back to his bed. Alanna knew it was dangerous to think this way, but she couldn't help it. She went back to watching Jon and Delia with a heavy ache in her heart.
Blithe smile,
lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a
gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm
not that girl:
Alanna knew that Delia was the beautiful one; long dark hair, soft pouty lips, bright green eyes. It was easy to see why all of the men at court were taken with her. She couldn't blame Jon for wanting to bed her. Alanna also knew tat she was no beauty, especially when compared to Delia. There was no hope of her being the desire of Jon's heart.
Don't wish,
don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the
rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm
not that girl:
Alanna glanced at her refection in her wine glass. It was hopeless and she knew it. She wasn't meant to be a lady and nor did she truly want to be one. She was meant to be a warrior and that was not the kind of girl men wanted. She saw Jon led Delia off out on to the terrace. Suddenly feeling restless she left the party early and headed back to her room disheartened.