Amy's Heart
By rese
Summary: Amy's always had doubts.
Disclaimer: Louisa May Alcott has all the blame, claim and copywrites for Little Women and its characters. I'm only playing for fun. Italic sentences are directly from the book.
A/N: I don't know why but I always feel slightly sick when I write for Amy's character.
…
"Amy, what lovely golden curls you have! Such a sight in the garden!" Laurie turned away to run off and show Jo how the light captured her littlest sister in a heavenly halo.
Amy's heart fluttered with the blunt compliment and she wondered, "Is this what love feels like?" But then her eyes would open and see her sister and the boy prance about and fall on each other in stitches of laughter. "No, that's what love feels like," Amy realized and Laurie simply wasn't for her, her sister would always come first just as surely as he shared every good joke with Jo, every impolite snigger with Jo, and every romp with Jo.
No, Amy would never have the chance to see if her heart could be first.
…
He came to her in the cold light, a watchman in the fog of her grief and she shuddered with pleasure that he should return to her, even when another would need him just as badly as she.
Deep, deep down she knew she was a second choice but when his black eyes sought her pretty blue, Amy could only live for him, for his love, which seemed very real and very present.
"Oh, Laurie, Laurie! I knew you'd come to me!"
…
She watched him closely when they came home, but it was so discreetly that others would and could only think it a gaze of love and happiness. For the most part Amy believed it herself, until she caught herself turning to see Jo's reaction to anything Laurie would say.
"I haven't had a good read in so long, I say, Jo, have you any new books to squander over?" And there it was! Amy saw Jo's expression immediately light up with enthusiasm. To be fair, books were always a passion of Jo's but under Amy's suspicious gaze Jo seemed only to ignite with Laurie's voice.
"But my lord, we brought a great many volumes with us; you can't have read them all by now!" Amy said to her husband, feeling rather affronted that he shouldn't ask her. But when he looked her way she was taken aback by his expression, she must have ruined a very good thing to have warranted that stare.
"So we did! My mistake." His dark eyes softened once more and Amy thought he was going to apologise in a more appropriate manner for wedded people when he turned back to Jo. "Help and old, married man out of his chair would you, Jo, dear?"
Amy watched Jo swiftly aid Laurie out of the chair, a contradictory look on her brown face, "Lazy boy! I know very well you don't need help." Laurie looked down at his sister-in-law with an intensity Amy might have missed were she not observing the scene.
"Not true." It was so soft Amy almost failed to hear it. Jo cleared her throat and suddenly whisked about in a fashion so striking to Amy's memory she felt as if she were sixteen again, and had embarrassingly walked into a common scene where Jo was avoiding the advances of a very dear neighbour.
Amy had to look away when her heart constricted, "Jo's right. That's what the Mrs. Laurence is for."
…
"Laurie, say you love me."
The dark curly head turned and watched her through sleepy eyes. "I love you, Amy."
But it wasn't enough and she sighed to herself. Amy moved closer on the bed, lowering her face to his tired one, feeling her heart leap when he smiled roguishly despite his lethargy.
"Say you love me best."
There was a slight pause, longer than she would have wished before he answered with a deep voice. "I love you, Amy."
She never could find out who was dearest, but her heart sure had a fair idea.