A/n: I was sitting in front of my laptop a few days ago, listening to Life After You by Daughtry when inspiration bopped me upside the head. Here's the results, and I really hope you enjoy them. I'm quite pleased to the way it turned out. Many thank-yous go out to my bestie and beta Jazzy. Thanks to Dustin for putting up with the fact that it's slash and reading it anyways. :)
Feedback would be greatly appreciated. :)
It's been three days. Three fucking agonizing days. My bike's broken down, it's raining, I'm soaked, and all I can think of is that night.
I'm early heading back to the dorm this evening, and there's a spring in my step. As soon as the kid that Bones is tutoring gets the hell outta dodge, he's all mine. I'm thinking movie night in the Kirk/McCoy dorm. I let his image fill my mind, and I walk faster, the better to see it sooner.
---
I make it to the dorm not five minutes later, and enter the access code. The thing I expect to see (Bones helping the kid study like he's supposed to be doing) isn't the sight I'm greeted with. The kid's on top of Bones, practically molesting his mouth.
Bones's eyes fly open and he pushes the guy off of him. I can't do anything but stand there like an idiot, my jaw slack, my eyes prickling with tears.
"Jim. That wasn't what it looked like, I swear. I--He--"
The kid looks between me and Bones, confused. It takes a few seconds before realization dawns on his face and he lets out a little 'Oh'.
"Yeah. Oh. Now get the hell out of here, Danny," Bones growls. I step to the side a bit so the guy can get out the door, and turn to face Bones.
"What the fuck, Len?!" I choke out. My eyes fill with tears and I look away so he can't see.
"He came onto me. Jim, I swear. I would never--" I cut him off.
"You wouldn't, huh?! Sure as hell looked to me like you were kissing him back!" I snap, looking him in the eye. I don't care that I've got tears streaming down my face. At this point, I want him to know just how much he's hurt me.
"Jim! I love you, darlin'. Not him, not anyone else. You." he reaches a hand out to grab my arm, and I push it away angrily.
"Don't touch me!" I yell at him. He backs off and it's quiet.
"Just...I thought...I thought you were it, Bones. Mom always told me when I was little...She told me I'd know..." I sniffle, my voice cracking. Bones opens his mouth like he's going to say something and stops.
"I guess I was wrong. Maybe you and I aren't supposed to be together." I mutter. I stride over to my closet and pull out a duffelbag, shoving clothes in it.
"Jim, don't say that. You don't understand. Damnit. Let me explain!" He steps up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. My shoulders tense, but he still presses a kiss to my neck.
"Get the hell away from me, Len," I say, my voice steely. He complies and steps away. Something in the back of my head screams at me to stop. It shrieks that it wasn't Len's fault, and I'm blowing this whole situation out of proportion, but I squash it. I'm mad, damnit. I sigh. I don't want to do this, but something inside is making me.
"I'm just wasting my time with you, Len. I'll see you around. Maybe. I love you, Bones," I huff out the same sentiment he had only moments before. I sling my duffel over my shoulder, press a chaste kiss fiercely to the corner of his mouth, and walk out the door. He doesn't follow immediately. It isn't until I'm seated on my bike that I see him in the doorway of the dorm.
"Jim! Damnit, don't do this!"
The corner of my mouth twitches. I don't have to do this. I can still turn around, go back inside. We can forget the whole thing ever happened. Brush it off as nothing.
Except it wasn't nothing. It would have been nothing if Bones hadn't been sucking face with some freshman. It could have been nothing if Bones had kicked him out when he'd started coming on to him. It should have been nothing. He shouldn't have kissed him back like that.
I shake my head slightly, kick the stand back, and roar off. I'm not sure where I'm going, but that really doesn't matter to me. The fact that I have classes tomorrow doesn't dawn on me until I'm way outside of town, and at that point it really doesn't matter.
I drive and drive and drive until I just can't stand it anymore. There's a cheap looking motel ahead of me, so I pull in, hand over some credits, and hole myself up in a grimy room for three days.
After three days of booze, hangovers, and general self-pity, I came back to the fact that it really hadn't been Len's fault...If anyone was to blame, it was that stupid kid. I realized that, had I been in Len's position, I probably would have done the same thing. It's only natural, right?
I felt so stupid. I'd blown the situation up, and left the only man I'd ever loved, regardless of the fact that I'd been telling myself to drop it. Why did I have to be such a drama queen?
I head to the tiny room where the front desk is located and turn in my key.
It's starting to cloud up as I head to my bike, but I take no notice. I won't let a little rain deter me. I'm a determined man.
And I really miss my Len.
I miss hugging him, and kissing him. I miss cuddling on the couch, and laying in bed till noon on Saturdays, just content to be wrapped up in each other.
It's only been three days, and yet it feels like a lifetime. I realize, as I'm whizzing down the interstate, that I'm completely head over heels for this man.
That's when it starts raining. It's then, too, when my bike starts sputtering and spitting smoke. It's not long after that when it stops working all together.
"Shit."
So here I am. Sitting on the side of the road, leaning against my useless bike. I'm not far out of the city, but it's raining. My thumb is out, hand resting on my propped up knee. I'm praying to some higher diety that I don't even believe in that someone will pass by and see me, but no one's out. I lean my head back onto the bike seat in defeat. My mind started to wander, back to the times I'd spent with Bones. Three days. Three days, and I was reminiscing as if it had been 3 weeks, 3 months. Three days.
It was late, and Bones wasn't back from his shift at the clinic. I hadn't seen him all day, and I was starting to get a little worried. So, here I was, sitting in the chair, waiting for him like some obedient little girlfriend. I wasn't. His girlfriend, that is. Boyfriend. Whatever. I wanted to be. But I wasn't.
It was well after midnight before he came trudging through the door. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. It wasn't perfect like normal. It was messy. He'd had a long day. He yawned, stretched, set his things down. It was then that he noticed me.
"Jim? Whatchya doin' up?" he asked tiredly, his voice a bit rough. Oh yeah. He'd had a long, tiring day. I stood up and strode over to my dresser to mess with something on top of it.
"Waitin' for you." I mumbled. I wasn't looking at him, but I knew his eyebrows were elevated, and his mouth in an 'o'.
"You didn't have to do that."
"I know," I turn around to face him. The tension practically crackled in the air. "I was worried, s'all. Hadn't seen you all day and...You know." He nodded slowly.
"Didn't know you cared so much, kid." I heard him mutter. The sentence obviously wasn't intended for me to hear. I was right up next to him in an instant though, searching his face for answers.
"What makes you say that, Bones? Why wouldn't I care?" I questioned him. He looked startled.
"I...No reason..." I licked my lips and nodded. My eyes flicked down to his mouth, his perfect pink lips. I wondered what they'd feel like on mine. I started to lean forward unconsciously, but stopped myself after our noses brushed.
"Jim?" he whispered. I nodded, the tip of my nose rubbing against his. He tilted his head slightly. My heart was pounding so hard, I felt for sure he could hear it. It was silent.
"Bones...Can I..." I trailed off, not finishing my sentence. He drew in a shaky breath and kind of laughed.
"Yeah..."
That was all it took. I pulled a hand up and placed it on the back of his neck, placed the other on the small of his back, and pulled him up against me. His hands went up to my hair. I leaned a little closer, my lips not quite to his.
"Hi." I whispered. He laughed, and I closed the gap between our mouths, barely brushing my lips against his in the gentlest kiss I've ever given someone. I didn't want to mess this up. I pulled back slightly and looked him in the eye.
"Jim..."
"Shh..." I whispered, "Don't ruin it," and press my mouth against his, more confident this time.
That was where it had started. One night, when I'd been worrying about him...Worrying.
"Oh shit" I murmur. In my haste to get away from him, of course I hadn't thought about what this would be doing to Len. I realize that I haven't talked to him in three days, meaning he doesn't know what's going on with me. He has no clue where I am. For all he knows, I've gotten into a bar fight and am lying dead in a ditch somewhere. I have to get home right now. I have to let him know I'm okay.
I have to get back to my Len.
I look sadly at my bike, stash my duffelbag behind it, and run.
It's somewhere around an hour later when I stumble onto campus breathing heavily. I'd stopped checking the time about halfway across the bridge. The rain had stopped after I'd made it into the city, but I'm still soaked.
I walk the rest of the way to the dorm. The clock in the hallway tells me that it's 1400. Bones should be in the room. I punch in the code and the door whooshes open.
He's there alright, sitting on the couch in a pair of my sweats. His eyes are red and puffy, and his hair is disheveled.
"Bones," I breathe, stepping inside. He doesn't look up.
"Len. I'm so, so sorry." Nothing.
"Len?" I murmur, my voice cracking. He finally looks at me. He's pissed, and he has every right to be.
"Three days, Jim. Three. You could have at least called. I've been worried sick." I nod. He stands up, pulls in a shaky breath, runs a hand through his hair.
"I've missed you, you idiot." I nod again, and suddenly he's next to me, his lips pressing everywhere. Frantically, he kisses me. On my lips, my cheeks, my nose. It's as if he just has to feel me, to make sure I'm still there.
"I love you so much, Bones." I murmur into his mouth. He pulls back.
"I love you too, Jim."
"I don't know what I'd do without you. Ever." I kiss him again, as if my life depends on it. It's like his lips are oxygen, his kisses necessary for life. I feel like I'll die if I don't have him next to me.
"Marry me, Len." I breathe into his mouth. He stills momentarily, and looks me in the eye.
"You mean it?" he asks, eyes wide with disbelief. I nod.
"I need you in my life. For the rest of my life." I press a quick kiss to his lips. "I love you so much, Bones. I can't imagine waking up without you next me. I don't want to. You complete me, as cliche as that sounds. So yes. Leonard H. McCoy, will you marry me?"
He looks at me, lips parted slightly. He sputters for a second, before he lets out a small 'yes'. He nods a couple of times, a smile starting to form.
"Yes. Yes, yes, yes." He grins and pulls me in for another kiss.
We're both a mess, but it doesn't matter. I don't even care about that at this point. The only thing on my mind is Len, and the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I get to kiss him goodnight every evening and kiss him awake every morning. I get to laugh with him, I get to cry with him. We'll fight, and makeup. It's going to be wonderful, and I really can't wait.
"She was right, you know," I say later, after we've both showered and shaved and don't look like we've just spent a weekend in the woods. We're laying in bed, curled around each other, completely content.
"Who was right, darlin'?" Len asks tiredly. I would guess that he hasn't had much sleep in the past few days.
"My mom. About the whole 'you'll know' thing."
"Really, now. And how do you just know that I'm 'the one'?" he asks skeptically. I ponder this for a second.
"Cause I just know! Okay? Cause...Because I try to picture living the rest of my life without," I gesture vaguely to the space around me, "this, and I just can't." I bury my face in his chest, and he rests his chin on top of my head.
"Okay," he murmurs. I nod lightly. We're silent for a moment before I giggle.
"Hey Bones. We're getting married." I whisper in awe. He drops a kiss onto the top of my head and nods into my hair.
"Mhm, darlin'. We sure are." I let out a little contented sigh, and we both slip off to sleep, ready to put these past three days behind us, and move on with our life together.