Soft rain dripped down the tall windows. The grey sky cast a dismal, vague glow over the city, omitting in its subtle highlights and yawning shadows off of the sharp angles of buildings. The people were slow. The air around seemed to weigh them down, as if they were trying to push their way through deep water.
All things somber and dull laced into that day seemed to capture themselves in him, startling any victim who may look on him.
Light wondered what cause Ryuzaki would have to appear so humbly melancholy.
A cause that L would be aware of, anyway.
L couldn't possibly be conscious to the fact that Light planned to bring him to his death.
But as he stared out of a window into the fogged, dreary city, Kira's conscience told him of an impossible possibility.
One in which L had somehow discovered the inevitability of his oncoming death.
The words Ryuzaki had spoken to him still resonated in Light's mind.
"It'll be lonely, won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon."
This statement clearly implied that Ryuzaki could possibly know.
But the detective's strange behavior contradicted this assumption.
Why would Ryuzaki merely appear sad if he truly knew about Light's plan? Wouldn't he try to stop Light before it was too late?
But Ryuzaki showed no signs of wanting to expose Light as Kira; if he even knew that Light was in fact Kira.
Yagami decided that there was little chance that L knew about his plan. He didn't want to believe that L knew. But this estimation still could not answer the question as to why Ryuzaki was so sad…
Against the better judgment as the god of the new world, Light took a few steps towards Ryuzaki, who was also fixing his eyes on the rain outside the window.
His reflection in the window mimicked his despondent expression. His black eyes were vacant, hiding carefully the mystery of the emotion which was undulating deeper inside, somewhere in which Light could not reach. His ebony hair hung long in his face, clashing gently with his porcelain skin. Light wondered what it would be like to get a closer look at those shadowy eyes, to carefully peel away the layers of Ryuzaki's walls like petals from a rose. To sweep away the grey veil dividing Light from the truth behind his eyes, and to see what kinds of things grow there.
Light had a natural instinct to reach out to those in pain in this way. To shroud them in feigned comfort and empty words because he could manage no more than that. But now, looking at Ryuzaki, the silent wistful L whom was standing in his grave, Light hadn't the heart to pretend.
He put a cautious hand on L's shoulder, pushing his fingers gently into the soft texture of his shirt.
"Tell me what you're thinking," Light asked Ryuzaki. And to his own surprise, he really wanted to know.
A look in Ryuzaki's eyes caught the light of the sky as they turned to look at the other man. But Light could not figure out what that look was.
Yagami saw himself reflected in L's gaze. Normally, when Light saw himself, he saw a strong, intelligent god, on his way to ruling the world. But when he saw himself while looking at Ryuzaki, all of the good and righteousness about Kira was gone. And in Light's reflection, there was only darkness.
"The bells," Ryuzaki murmured in his quiet, low voice. "They're quieter when you're here."
L glanced back at the rain.
"That can only mean one thing."
Light felt his heart rate increase.
Does this mean that he knows what I'm going to do after all?
"What does that mean, Ryuzaki?"
When they stood together in the rain not two days ago, Light remembered Ryuzaki speaking of bells that he hears in his head that distract him, bells that grew louder and louder with very day.
The detective's eyes closed slowly. He looked so tired.
"Nothing that matters anymore."
Ryuzaki placed his hand on the cold window, causing the glass to fog around the perimeter of his fingers.
"It won't be long now until their song is done," L whispered.
Light wondered if that could be a good thing for Ryuzaki. But something in his heart told him the opposite.
The strange man blinked slowly. His desolate face was cast towards the ground.
Light felt nothing for L. For the figure of threat and challenge that the name posed as against Kira and everything he'd worked for. But for Ryuzaki, the person, the queer and silly genius with a sweet tooth and mysterious disposition…
This was the person Light lamented for.
"Let me share in your suffering," Light offered to Ryuzaki.
Yagami realized how upset he really was due to this man's sadness.
Ryuzaki's eyes turned to Light again.
"That's sounds quite alien coming from you, Light."
There was no hint of malice in Ryuzaki's voice, but he meant what he said. Light was taken aback by this.
Ryuzaki let his hand slide from the window. He turned away from Light, and approached the exit door of the large, spacious room. His bare feet echoed quietly against the long walls, whispering secrets that Light couldn't make out.
"Don't start worrying about me now, Light," Ryuzaki said calmly. The door clicked shut behind him, and Light was alone.
The outline of Ryuzaki's hand remained on the window. As it began to fade, Light placed his own hand inside of it, and the fog began to grow on the window again, stretching outward with every moment that Light held his hand there.
Light finally understood the magnitude of what he was going to do. He was beginning to understand that the weight of Ryuzaki's life was far more than worthless.
But how? What was it about Ryuzaki that made a small place in Light want to keep him alive?
Light watched his hand as it reluctantly dropped from the window. He couldn't keep the remnant of Ryuzaki there on the window forever.
No matter how persistently Light hung on, he would have to let go eventually. And when he let go, the mark faded into nothing. Light knew that it would.
And he felt the sorrow like a knife in his chest.
The rain fell persistently in violent sheets of water as night descended. Light lie in bed with Misa, accepting his misery without a fight.
"Rem is ready," Misa said, snuggling into Light's chest. For the first time, he had a strong urge to push her away.
"Get whatever information you can out of Ryuzaki. And when your good and finished, I'll tell Rem to kill him. Kay?"
Light saw Ryuzaki everywhere.
He wasn't surprised. The black hair and eyes so wonderfully resembled the thick, warm darkness of the night. The moonlight skin poured through Light's window in graceful rays of a bright glow. He heard Ryuzaki's deafening silence, which so easily wrapped itself around Light's cold heart, threatening to break it.
Light wondered what Ryuzaki was thinking. Did the man think about him in this way?
Although the idea was absurd, Light made a silent prayer that Ryuzaki did not nevertheless. The thought of killing the detective in general was already starting to gravely disturb Light. But killing someone who thought about him… like this…
Light wondered with terror if he could ever bring himself to kill Ryuzaki, no matter the circumstances. He wracked his brain determinedly to find a different way, but there wasn't one. Ryuzaki had to die.
Light knew that this would be the first and last tear he'd ever shed for Ryuzaki.