Jagnus || Shadowhunters || Jagnus || I Want a Baby || Jagnus || Shadowhunters || Jagnus
Title: I Want a Baby – To Find a Family
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Warnings: m/m, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, wing fic, explicit intercourse, anal, knotting, fluff, adoption, family feels, hurt/comfort, misunderstanding, m/f
Main Pairing: Magnus/Jace
Side Pairings: Bat/Alec, Luke/Catarina
Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Wayland, Magnus Bane, Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood, Bartholomew 'Bat' Velasquez, Luke Garroway, Catarina Loss, Madzie
Summary: The war is over and things have settled for our heroes. It seems they can now finally focus on life. And when Luke and Catarina officially adopt Madzie, Jace tells his alpha that he too wants a baby. Magnus reacts unexpectedly, pushing Jace away. Because he knows, he will never be able to give the beautiful omega what he wants. A baby. Warlocks are infertile.
I Want a Baby
To Find a Family
There had never been a view more beautiful than Magnus' golden omega, spread out beneath him, whimpering and arching his body as he was impaled on Magnus' cock and begging for more. Jace's golden hair, around his head like a halo. Jace's wings spread out behind him, white and golden and beautiful, showing Magnus just what an angel he had there.
Leaning down, Magnus kissed Jace deeply, his fingers finding their way into Jace's wings, digging deep at just the right points that would make his angel howl. The Shadowhunter was so sensitive at his wings that at times, Magnus managed to make him come just from that, not fucking him or even just touching his cock. Only playing with his wings. Not tonight though, tonight Magnus was buried balls-deep inside of his tight little Shadowhunter, fucking him hard. He knew Jace liked it hard, loved to feel Magnus all day the next day, even when they were apart. Naughty little angel.
"Come for me, my angel", whispered Magnus against Jace's lips.
Jace gasped, taking a stuttering breath. With a keening sound, Jace came as Magnus twisted the soft under-plumage of Jace's feathers just at his joints, where Jace liked it particularly. Jace came, all over his own stomach, moaning Magnus' name in a drawn-out way before collapsing on the bed.
Magnus groaned at the feeling of Jace squeezing down on him, trying to make him come too. It worked, easily. Magnus couldn't resist the feeling and while kissing Jace deeply, he came, his knot swelling and catching. It earned him one of the cute mewling sounds that Jace only ever gave him for a proper knotting. The omega loved being knotted by his alpha.
Sighing contently, both laid down more comfortably, Magnus spooning Jace while the two would be waiting for the knot to deflate. Jace's wings were carefully folded together. Like most times, Magnus used the time to gently pick through Jace's wings. The blonde couldn't reach the back of his wings and while at first, Alec had been the only one allowed to groom him, Magnus had by now earned his lover's trust to do this. At first, Magnus hadn't quite understood why this was such a big deal for Jace in particular. It was normal for Shadowhunters to groom each other in a flock, but for Jace it had only ever been Alec, he had ever only trusted his parabatai.
By now, Jace had enough trust in him to explain it to Magnus. To confide in him. Apparently, breaking Jace's wings had been one of Valentine's favorites, for punishment. Just like he used to break Jace's fingers when he didn't play perfectly on the piano, Valentine took grounding his child to a very painfully literal level. He healed the wings when the punishment was over, like it had never happened, but just because the physical part was healed didn't help with the emotional pain.
Because having his wings repeatedly broken by his own father had left Jace incredibly defensive of his wings. It had taken months for Alec to earn Jace's trust enough to be able to groom him and in the end, it had been more the necessity of it that had made Jace allow it at first. He was afraid that someone he trusted would use it against him and break his wings.
Being grounded was incredibly stressful for a Shadowhunter. Being able to take to the sky is such a fundamental thing for Shadowhunters, far more so than walking for humans. I wasn't like breaking a leg, it additionally made them feel vulnerable and like prey.
After learning that, Magnus had felt genuinely honored when Jace had first allowed him to touch his wings. By now, it was downright natural between them. Grooming, casual touches in passing and not to mention the sex. Jace trusted Magnus, knew he could trust Magnus not to break his wings. Which sounded like such a basic requirement for a relationship, but considering Jace's background, Magnus knew and understood what a big deal it was.
"I love you, angel", whispered Magnus gently, kissing Jace between the shoulder-blades.
"Love you too, big kitten", yawned Jace, snuggling into the pillow.
"No falling asleep", chuckled Magnus, continuing with grooming Jace's wings.
"Mh... you're working on my wings... you know that makes me sleepy", mumbled Jace. "Also you just fucked and knotted me. You know that always knocks me out."
Magnus chuckled amused. He was proud of that, that Jace felt relaxed when Magnus was working on his wings. That had taken many weeks, the first few times Jace had let Magnus touch his wings, Jace had been rigid and tense the whole time. Now, the touch was so comforting that Jace would actually doze off. It did wonders for Magnus' alpha-pride, really.
"Sweetheart, we agreed to babysit Madzie today", pointed Magnus out, kissing Jace's neck. "So Luke and Catarina have some time to themselves to go on an actual date again."
Luke and Catarina had met during the celebrations of peace, had flirted and exchanged numbers. They started dating and had been courting for weeks now. Since Catarina had already taken in Madzie during the war, the girl fast grew attached to her new – and first – dad. It was endearing.
For a very long moment, Jace remained quiet and just stared ahead out of the window. He had one arm folded over his stomach. When Magnus was done with his wings, he wrapped his arms around Jace's waist too, laying his hands on top of Jace's. Jace intertwined their fingers.
"Mag?", whispered Jace slowly, nearly reluctantly.
"Yes, my angel?", asked Magnus, nose buried in golden-blonde hair.
"I want a baby", stated the blonde, biting his lower lip.
/break\
"What's gotten into you?", growled Alec irritated.
He came at Jace from above, easily pinning his parabatai to the ground. Jace knew better, he knew to always watch not just his back but also his above. Glaring, Alec pinned Jace by the wings.
"I'm... It's nothing, Alec", grunted Jace, using a trick to roll them over.
"Bu—ullshit", called Alec's boyfriend out from the sidelines
Alec smirked smugly at that and pushed a momentarily distracted Jace off. "Bat's right. It's bullshit. You've been distracted for... days. It wasn't that bad at first. Tell me what's wrong, parabatai."
Alec sat up opposite Jace, propping himself up on his elbows. Bat walked over to them, now that it wasn't dangerous anymore. The omega nuzzled into his own alpha, kissing Alec gently. Alec smiled and wrapped his arms around Bat, pulling him close enough so he could rest his chin on Bat's head.
"It's... Magnus", sighed Jace as he watched them. "I think he wants to break up with me."
"That's ridiculous", stated Bat with a frown. "Magnus adores you. You two have been that super-cute couple who got each other's backs ever since I met you months ago."
"Bat's, again, right", hummed Alec, locking eyes with his parabatai. "Magnus loves you."
"I don't know", grunted Jace defensively. "He's been... withdrawn. He's been pulling back from me. Avoiding me. Dodging me when I seek his affections. We haven't had sex in nearly a week and before that, it's gotten... increasingly... fewer too. Which is weird, because he has as much of a sex-drive as I do. It's part of why we fit together so well. Or so I thought... But now he doesn't want to have sex with me, he avoids me, he's not... not been very affectionate with me. You've been grooming me lately, because... because he was 'too busy'. He's been grooming my wings for months and he always... he nearly just dropped everything to do it when I ask. Now..."
"Okay. That's... concerning", admitted Alec with a frown. "And have you talked to him about it?"
"No. I don't... I...", muttered Jace and ducked his head with a glare.
"You're afraid you're right and he'll break up", concluded Bat, looking worried at Alec.
"Jace... Just talk to him. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. You know Magnus is very prone for overworking himself. Perhaps he has just taken on too much lately and he's not even noticing his own behavior", offered Alec. "Talk to him, Jace. Don't let this revert yourself into your insecurities. You've been feeling good with him, safe with him. I know that. I feel it through the bond. He makes you happier than I've ever seen you. Don't let whatever is going on make you feel insecure again. You deserve this relationship, you deserve Magnus and his love."
Jace sighed and shrugged, not very convinced. Noticing that, Bat leaned over and nudged him.
"Hey. You got any theory on why he might be behaving weird?", asked the werewolf.
At that, Jace glared. Why did Alec have to find such a clever boyfriend? Sure, Jace liked the guy, a lot, but now whenever his parabatai interrogated him to make sure he was alright, Alec had backup. Alec and Bat were a good team, a good match. It was just irritating to be on the receiving end.
"It... It started after we were last babysitting Madzie", admitted Jace. "And... I think it might have something to do with something I said, before we went to pick up Madzie. I... told him I wanted a baby. That, when we were laying in bed together, that was the last time he was... acting normal. After that he pulled away." Jace paused and wrapped his arms around his legs. "He doesn't want that. That's why he's pulling away, to make the break-up easier."
"...You... You want a baby?", whispered Alec surprised, eyes wide. "Really?"
Jace offered a half-shrug and a glare at that. "We've had... peace for a little while now. I've been together with this amazing, perfect alpha. I want to stay with him. And I figured, with our own shitty track-record of childhoods, we'd... be able to do better. But now he's pulling away and... and he doesn't want a baby with me. I was asking too much, now he doesn't want to... be with me."
Alec and Bat exchanged a look at that, quietly talking without words. Bat kissed Alec's cheek before grabbing Jace's hand in support. It was appreciated. Jace never really had contact to other omegas before he had met Clary and then Bat. This was still weird and new, but... he liked it.
"Maybe he doesn't want children", admitted Alec slowly. "And maybe he's struggling to tell you that, so he's pulling away from you to sort his own thoughts out. Talk to him, ask him what's really going on. If you talk about it, you can move past it."
"Yeah. Like, he tells you he's not ready for a baby yet, so you just... continue being the kick-ass golden couple you are and do the family starting when you're both ready", agreed Bat.
Jace snorted, though he didn't dare to argue with them any further.
/break\
"Uncle Magnus! Uncle Magnus, look!", exclaimed Madzie excitedly.
Catarina smiled to herself as she watched her adopted daughter. Madzie always perked up when Magnus was visiting, he was definitely her favorite uncle. Nodding at her old friend, Catarina took a second mug out of the shelf to fill it with coffee for Magnus.
"Hello, sweet pea! Did you learn a new trick?", asked Magnus fondly, lifting her up in the air.
Madzie nodded excitedly and showed him her new magic trick. Luke, after hearing the noises, poked his head out of the living room. He smiled when he spotted Magnus.
"You've been a frequent guest lately", noted Luke, not unkindly.
"What can I say? Madzie is just too endearing to stay away from her for long", smiled Magnus.
"Where's uncle Jace?", asked Madzie and frowned. "I wanna show him too. I practiced my piano! I can now play the whole song that he showed me last time!"
"Tell your mate that we really appreciate the piano lessons, by the way", noted Luke. "And that we're more than willing to pay him for them too."
"Nonsense, Jace loves teaching her. He wouldn't stand for it", dismissed Magnus, before pausing. "And... he's not my mate, Lucian. He's my boyfriend."
Catarina narrowed her eyes at the distinction. "Where is that angel of yours? You have been coming over a lot lately, but always without him. Are you two... having problems?"
Magnus sighed and sat down next to her. With a flick of his wrist did he turn the two coffees into cocktails. Luke raised a concerned eyebrow at that. He had been there from the get-go, seen how Magnus and Jace got together pretty soon after meeting for the first time. At first, just casually, but then with actual dates. Luke had seen how Magnus had slowly fallen in love with Jace. He had seen the way they had kissed, after the Soul Sword incident, the pure anguished guilt in Jace's eyes and the utter relief on Magnus' face that Jace hadn't succeeded in his plan of killing himself for them.
"Madzie, sweetie, why don't you go and draw a picture for uncle Magnus?", suggested Luke.
The little girl nodded enthusiastically. "Okay, papa!"
The smile on his lips was soft and small as he watched her run away. He had always been like a father to Clary, sometimes she would even call him dad, but in the end Jocelyn had always kept him at arm's length. When she had woken up from the coma, he had thought they had a chance to be together, but then she had died. He thought he would never get that, get love and a family. But somehow, after Jocelyn's death, he and Clary grew closer, clinging onto each other. They had lost her, both of them. And then Luke had met Catarina and what started as a refreshing, gentle infatuation soon grew into a strong, healthy relationship. Madzie, who had already been living with Catarina, had fast grown attached to him and had started calling him dad not long ago. Clary adored her new baby-sister and came over a lot to draw with Madzie, the reason why Madzie enjoyed drawing so much now. She wanted to get as good as her big sister.
"Magnus", prompted Luke in a drawn-out voice.
"I think... it would be for the best if I'd let him go", mused Magnus, looking out of the window.
"Magnus", grunted Catarina, a clear warning in her voice.
"No, it would have never worked out anyway", stated Magnus and shook his head. "Once we became mates and he'd... he'd have to see Alexander, Isabelle, Max and Clary all grow old and die. He'd learn to hate me for the immortality our matebond would force him into."
"Don't be so dramatic, Magnus", ordered Luke, resting a heavy hand on Magnus' shoulder. "The boy loves you and instead of deciding for him, you should let him decide that."
"And what makes you think that now, anyway?", inquired Catarina skeptically.
"...The other day", whispered Magnus, looking away from them. "He said he wants a baby."
"Jace?", asked Luke stunned, eyebrows raised high. "Jace wants to be domestic? Mh, I suppose with what Valentine had taken away from him too early, that now that Valentine is gone and he has a potential mate, he'd start longing for a whole, loving family."
"Something I'll never be able to give him", whispered Magnus with sad eyes. "I'm a warlock."
"You're a...", started Luke, just to shake his head. "An idiot is what you are, Bane. Look at me and Catarina. Do we look unhappy, just because we can't have cubs of our own?"
"He is right, Magnus. Stop being so dramatic and go talk to your omega", ordered Catarina sternly.
Magnus wanted to protest, but he couldn't find it in himself. He had known Catarina long enough to see when he lost an argument with her. And perhaps they were right in that he should talk to Jace about it. Let him go, officially, so Jace could find himself a proper alpha who could give him what he wanted. What he deserved. Opening a portal, he bid his goodbyes and made his way back to his loft. He was surprised to find Jace home already, curled together on the couch.
"Angel...", started Magnus hesitantly. "We... need to talk."
"We do", agreed Jace, looking up at him.
"I think...", drawled Magnus, trying to find the right words. "Maybe it would be for the best if..."
"You are breaking up with me", interrupted Jace with knowing eyes. "I was right."
"Right...?", echoed Magnus surprised, watching Jace get up from the couch.
Jace gritted his teeth, looking bitter. "It's because of what I said, right? The baby thing."
"Well, yes, I-", admitted Magnus reluctantly, not liking the way this was going.
"I knew it", interrupted Jace and shook his head. "I'm just not good enough for you."
"What? No! I love you, angel", disagreed Magnus with a frown, just to be interrupted again.
"Sure. But... not enough to want a family with me", muttered Jace with a self-depreciating smile. "It's... okay. I kinda knew all along, didn't I? I'm not a good omega. Valentine raised me against my nature, tried to beat it out of me. You deserve a proper omega. Why would you want a family with me? I'm good for... fun. Sex. Not... Not that. It's okay."
"No!", disagreed Magnus very fiercely, grasping Jace by the shoulders and making him look at the warlock, tears prickling in Magnus' eyes. "No, it's not okay. It's truly not okay. I hate to hear you say such things about yourself, Jace. You're good. You're a good person and a good omega. And any alpha would be proud to have you as their mate, to give you what you want. What you deserve. Because you deserve a family. But I... I can't. I can't give you that and you deserve an alpha who can, because you deserve to be happy. I can't give you a baby, Jace. I'm a warlock. I'm..."
"Infertile. I know", grunted Jace very confused. "I... You do know I'm a Shadowhunter, right? I know warlocks are infertile. That's... basic knowledge we learn at training."
"Ah. But you said... you want a baby", pointed Magnus out. "And it's normal, with the amount of sex we've been having, that your body would start craving... something I can't give you."
Blinking slowly, Jace grasped Magnus' face with both hands. "So... So you're not breaking up with me because I'm not good enough for you? You're breaking up with me because you think you're not good enough for me? Can... we not break-up then? Because you are. I... I love you, Magnus. I trust you. I ever only trusted Alec that way. When I said I want a baby, I thought more of adopting a baby. I know Madzie wasn't the only child we saved from Iris. I know many of them are still in... warlock foster-care for now. And I thought... you and I... I thought we could give a young warlock what you and I didn't have. Two parents who would love them and cherish them."
Magnus blinked slowly, getting lost in Jace's eyes, so filled with honesty and seriousness. "You... want to adopt a child. With me. Like... Luke and Catarina did for Madzie."
"Yes. I thought that part was implied by you being a warlock and by us talking about Madzie right before I brought it up", grunted Jace frustrated. "Idiot alpha. Come here."
He pulled Magnus into a deep, slow kiss. Slowly, the warlock relaxed and smiled into the kiss. Perhaps he should have talked to Catarina sooner. And listened to her. She had been right all along.
"I'm sorry", whispered Magnus lowly, leaning his forehead against Jace's.
"It's okay", sighed Jace, eyes closed. "We're both emotionally crippled idiots filled with insecurities based on past experiences and abuse. Don't look so startled. I'm listening to the stuff the doc says."
Magnus smiled faintly and adjusted to steal another kiss from Jace. After dying, after admitting that he hadn't told anyone because he hadn't felt like he deserved to be alive, Catarina had put her foot down. The nurse had a stern talking to – not just to Jace, but also Magnus after the trauma of the body-switch and the torture at the hands of the Clave that had brought forth long-suppressed memories. She had made them both go and see a professional. It seemed it was working better on Jace than on Magnus, but then again Magnus had a couple of centuries on Jace, a couple more centuries of not relying on others and trying to ignore his problems and pain.
"I love you, angel", whispered Magnus, lips millimeters apart from Jace's. "There's no one else I'd rather start a family with than you. You are the only omega I'd want."
The smile on Jace's lips was soft as he buried his face in Magnus' neck, cocooning them both in with his wings. "Can we go to bed and just... cuddle for a while then, if we're not breaking up? And... maybe you could... groom me? My wings have been a bit... neglected..."
"Wonderful plan, my love. I'm... sorry for neglecting them. Neglecting you", sighed Magnus. "I-"
"I get it", grunted Jace and shook his head. "You were trying to make it easier for us both. We're both stupid and insecure idiots who don't think we deserve love. It's a good thing we have friends."
"Indeed it is", agreed Magnus with a small smile.
/Two Weeks Later\
"He's... blue", observed Madzie curiously, blinking. "Like, all-all blue."
Jace hummed, not looking up from the baby he was holding. The little one blinked at Jace with large eyes and as Jace lowered a wing to tickle the boy's nose, he giggled delighted. A smile spread over Jace's lips as the baby tried to grab Jace's feathers.
"It's his warlock mark. Like your gills", stated Magnus fondly.
Madzie reached for her neck automatically, still staring at the baby. Jace was sitting on the couch, holding the baby, with Madzie kneeling next to him on the couch to get a closer look. Catarina and Luke stood with Magnus in front of them, watching in fond amusement.
"That's hard to cover", stated Madzie with a frown.
"That's why we chose him", hummed Jace gently. "It's gonna be hard for him. Harder than for others. So he deserves parents to support him. To teach him."
Magnus' heart soared with love and pride as he looked at his omega, with their child. The picture was perfect. When they had actually gone to take in one of the countless orphaned warlocks left by the war, Magnus had been a bit nervous, if he was being honest. But in the end, Jace understood what being an outsider meant far better than any other Shadowhunter. He even had a grasp on what it meant to be shunned for demon-blood – even if it had only lasted few weeks for him, Jace had experienced the fear, the betrayal, the self-loathing. Together, Magnus and Jace were going to give this young warlock a loving home, they would cherish him and teach him how to accept himself. He would grow up loved and sheltered, never having to experience what it was like to be beaten, abused – verbally or physically – by a parent who was supposed to love him.
"He is a darling", smiled Catarina and knelt down in front of the baby, letting go of her own glamour for only a moment and making the baby gasp and giggle as a woman stood in front of him, as blue as he was. "What did you decide to name him?"
"Ragnor Maxwell Bane", stated Magnus, chest swelling with pride. "To honor... a fallen friend."
"And to allow Max to gloat", grinned Jace teasingly. "He was super proud of it. Keeps calling him Maxie, even though we specifically chose Ragnor as first name to avoid confusions."
Magnus smiled as he stepped up to his mate and kissed the top of Jace's head, looking down into the face of their son. Ragnor giggled as he looked up at Jace and Magnus with bright, large eyes.
~*~ The End ~*~
Author's note: I can not express with words how much I loathe the names of Malec's adopted kids in canon. Maxwell Michael - sure, because you want to be reminded of your dead little brother every single time you say your kid's name and there is just no fucking way in hell Alec would give his kid the middle-name Michael. Yeah sure after "the real" Michael Wayland, who Alec NEVER met, the only Michael Wayland he knows about is the one who abused his parabatai for 10 years. Real considerate, naming your kid after your parabatai's abuser. And Rafael Santiago. Really? Seriously? For one, if honoring someone, how about you spell their name right because Raphael was spelled with a ph so what is the fucking point of that and who in their right mind takes the last name and uses that as the middle name and literally gives the kid the ENTIRE name. I swear, Clare is worse at the next gen game than JKR... =_=
So. Yeah. Ragnor Maxwell as the alternative name for Maxwell Michael. Had to keep the Max in since that is his name and I didn't want to go full off-brand but... not Michael, never Michael. And Max didn't DIE so it wouldn't make a lot of sense to name the kid after him fully.
Anyway, if a part of this seems familiar, that is again because I teased it on my tumblr - and if you want more teasing or plotting, come follow me at takaraphoenix! ;)