Warning: Smutty. Very smutty.

Also, I own nothing but (hopefully) the plot.

MERRY CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CELEBRATE!

"Caught this one wandering the corridors, Professor Slug'orn," growled Filch, his filthy hands grasping the back of Malfoy's robes. "He claims he was invited." Hermione looked on with a slightly bleary but totally smug look smeared across her face, whereas Harry looked confused and a little suspicious.

"Get off me, you filthy squib," Malfoy snarled as he yanked his robes out of the caretaker's hands. The man scowled at him, clenched his hands into grubby fists and stalked off grumbling about certain students' lack of respect.

"Ah, Mr Malfoy. Well, I'm afraid this party is invitation only. Ah," he rested his palms on his large belly and looked around the room. "Ah! Miss Granger." Hermione stopped sniggering at Malfoy and focused her attention on the balding professor.

"Yep?"

Slughorn squinted at her. She seemed slightly intoxicated, but she was the most trusted pupil in this room. "Miss Granger, would you do the honours of escorting Mr Malfoy back to his dormitory?"

This took a moment to process - Hermione'd had one too many Firewhiskeys. She hiccupped slightly as she tried to roll her eyes. Just at that moment, Cormac McClaggen caught her eye across the room and waggled his eyebrows slightly. "Yes!" she choked out. She wished she hadn't invited Cormac, but he was here and she had to do all she could to get away from him. He creeped her out slightly.

Malfoy twitched an eyebrow slightly, wondering why she was so eager to "escort" him. He then realised she wasn't looking at her; her eyes tracked the creep that was McClaggen across the room. Ah.

Hermione moved across the room, grabbed his arm and dragged him with her with a slight "C'mon." Harry was left looking like someone had just used the confundus charm on him. Malfoy snickered.

As the door swung shut behind them, Hermione slowed down. There was no real reason to rush now - the castle was completely deserted. Hermione suddenly wished she had asked Harry for the map, but she didn't have any time to spare: she had to get out of there as quickly as possible. The silence between the two students stretched out before them. It was going to be a long walk down to the Slytherin Common Rooms.

Hermione staggered into Malfoy, to which he spat, "Watch it, Granger."

She twitched her brow slightly and smirked at him. "Or what, Malfoy." Malfoy scowled. "I thought not," she sniggered.

Another long stretch of silence. Hermione was getting tired of this, but she didn't know what to talk about. Instead, she let out a stream of drunken word vomit. "Harry is a great friend, you know. It really sucks he refused to be friends with you," she babbled, not noticing Malfoy's scowl deepening. "I mean, it's bad for you. If he had agreed, I wouldn't be friends with him, you know? I remember thinking, oh god, he's going to ditch me before he even gets to know me. But that wasn't the case, was it." She paused, waiting for an answer.

Malfoy sighed. "No."

"Exactly. And, now we're older and closer, I feel like he's a girl." Malfoy snorted and looked at Hermione, astonished. "Wait! I mean, like he's one of my best female friends as opposed to, say, Ron, who's definitely male. I mean, definitely male." Malfoy rolled his eyes silently, a smirk still playing upon his lips.

"Shut up," Hermione snickered evilly as she pushed his arm, only to end up swaying towards the wall. Malfoy grabbed her arm to keep her up straight because, as funny as it would be to see her smash her head open on the wall, he wasn't really in the mood for another trip to the infirmary.

"Thanks," Hermione hiccupped. "You know what I mean though, right? I mean you would never fuck, say, Crabbe, would you." Malfoy's face contorted into a mask of absolute disgust. He opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione cut him off again. "Exactly! That's how I feel with Harry. Ron, however, I probably would. Don't get the wrong idea, I wouldn't do it if we weren't together, but I would get with him. Totally."

"Granger," Malfoy started.

"Mhm?" Hermione was deep in thought. Malfoy opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione interrupted him. Again. "I mean, there are quite a few guys in our year I would totally fuck. Like, we wouldn't even have to be in a relationship. I just... Would. Only one or two Slytherins, though," she glanced up at Malfoy, a blush creeping up her face. "No offence."

Malfoy shrugged. "None taken," an evil smile crept across his face. "So, who are these Slytherins you would... You know."

Hermione slowed down considerably. A thoughtful look shrouded her face. "Well," she started, blushing furiously, "there's Blaise, uh, Pucey was kinda cute and..."

Malfoy raised his eyebrows again. "And?" he prompted.

"Well, it's silly really," Hermione mumbled, followed by something almost incoherent.

"Please don't tell me you're so drunk you're slurring, Granger. And who?"

"You."

Malfoy stopped. "Me?"

Hermione stopped and glanced up at him. "Okay, shut up," she muttered. "It was stupid to tell you, okay?"

Malfoy didn't say anything. This was slightly weird. He tried putting it off on Hermione being slightly drunk, but he still feared that there was a slight truth behind it. They walked in silence for a few minutes; Hermione was staggering all over the hall.

"How much alcohol have you actually had tonight, Granger?" Malfoy smirked as she rocketed towards yet another suit of armour.

"Not a lot," Hermione hiccupped. "I'm not even drunk!"

"Mhm," Malfoy snorted derisively. They walked on for an eternity in silence, both of them as cold to each other as ever.

Suddenly, Hermione veered towards a statue that wouldn't budge if she walked into it. Malfoy grabbed her wrist and she swung around to face him, her other hand resting on his chest.

They stared into each others eyes for a millisecond and Hermione made a split-second decision. She lunged forwards and crashed her lips against Malfoy's.

After a second of rigidity, Malfoy kissed back. Her tongue teased the rim of Malfoy's inner lips and his teeth parted to let her in. As she pushed him towards the small alcove just off the corridor, Hermione yanked her wrist out of Malfoy's hand and tangled both her hands in his white blonde hair.

Feeling the cold wall behind the backs of her hands, Hermione pulled away. She let delicate kissed flutter across his neck and felt his breath hitch. Her body was pressed so close to his that she could feel his cock twitch through his trousers. A smirk grew across her face as she let her hands travel down to his belt and begin picking at it, lips still fluttering over his neck and collar bone.

"Granger," he panted. "Granger, sto-"

His plea was cut short as Hermione reattached onto his lips. Finally, she got his belt undone and pinched the top of his trousers slightly. She felt an arm encircle her and drag her further into the alcove and grinned against Malfoy's now fiercely kissing mouth.

Pulling away yet again, Hermione looked into his eyes. An animal was beginning to appear within them, but she had to take control. She slammed him back against the wall and yanked the already falling trousers down. His emerald green boxers really had no chance against Hermione's horny clawing. They were ripped off within a second and she quickly took his semi-hard cock in her mouth.

"Fuck," Malfoy groaned. He'd had plenty of girls suck him off before, but he'd never imagined someone like Hermione would: a girl who isn't afraid to take control.

Hermione started choking when he was about half way in her. She wasn't really that experienced in giving head, so she grabbed the remainder of his dick in her cold hands. Malfoy yelped in surprise and the sound of Hermione's muffled chortle reached his ears. He bit his lip and rested his head against the wall.

Hermione bobbed her head up and down his cock, going in tandem with her hand. Her spare hand found its way to the seam of her underwear and, surprise surprise, she found she was soaking wet. Her fingers nipped at her solid clit and she shivered.

She took Malfoy's member out of her mouth with a quiet "plop" and shimmied her pants off. Malfoy started towards her, but, with a slight growl, she shoved him back against the wall. Her hands clawed at his shirt as he ripped her dress over her head. Her plain white bra was quickly pinged off as he sucked on her neck. Love bites always seemed to be his thing.

His hands roamed up and down her body. It wasn't the tightest he'd ever experienced, but it was in no way the worst. In fact, her slight plumpness only seemed to excentuate her round ass and bouncing tits. He grabbed one of these tits and nibbled on the hard, rosy nipple as she positioned herself over him.

Yanking his lips back to hers, Hermione slid onto Malfoy's cock with ease. Her pussy was still tight, Malfoy noted, but she was incredibly wet. Horny.

Her breast pressed up against him as she bounced up and down his dick, moaning in pleasure. Her eyes were closed, completely oblivious to anything in the world. Malfoy hitched her legs up to either side of his hip and pushed towards the opposite wall, pressing Hermione against it. His mouth caught the increasing volume her moans as hers did his grunts. Her nails clawed at his back as his cock pounded her against the wall.

With a gasp, Hermione pulled her lips away from his and bit into his shoulder. Her body shuddered and convulsed as she had and incredible orgasm.

Malfoy wasn't quite done yet. He felt the walls of her pussy tightening against his cock as he drove it into her, one hand pressed against the wall, the other around her waist bringing her closer to him than ever. He could feel Hermione's heart beat throbbing in her chest and felt the fluttering of her exhausted breath against his shoulder. Dripping with sweat and with a long groan of "Fuck," Malfoy came inside her.

They rested in the same position against the wall for a few minutes, panting onto each other's prickling skin. Suddenly, Hermione squeaked. Malfoy brought his head up to look her in the eyes and a smirk came over his face. He extracted his cock from her and walked towards his clothes.

They got dressed in silence, watching each other.

"So..." Hermione started as they started back on their tracks to the Slytherin common room, hair even more tousled than usual and mascara slightly smudged.

"Yep," smirked Draco. His usually sleek composure was ruined by the glowing of the sweat on his pale skin and his hair sticking up as the back where Hermione had hung onto it.

They walked the rest of the way in relative silence, until they got to the mouth of the Dungeons. Hermione wasn't allowed to see the entrance to the Slytherin common room and, for all Malfoy knew, she hadn't.

Malfoy gazed down at her with a look of slight amazement. She was afraid to meet his eyes, but forced herself to do so. She could still feel the muscles of his body pressing against her breasts and felt her nipples tighten slightly.

"I guess I'll be seeing you again then, Granger," murmured Malfoy sensually.

Hermione choked back a laugh. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

Malfoy raised his eyebrow, quickly kissed her on the cheek, and turned down the dark steps into the dungeons. "Merry Christmas Granger," she heard as he descended.