Star Trek 4 ½: To boldy go…..
(The crew of kirks enterprise are exploring an earthlike planet and encounter Edward Cullen, A.K.A. Corporal Useless) McCOY: My god Jim, KIRK: I suppose he's dead, bones? BONES: He's worse than dead. His awesomeness levels are virtually nonexistent! EDWARD: hey….. KIRK: don't be afraid, we come in peace. Despite your sheer patheticness... EDWARD: hey, I'm getting ticked now. Back off. I'm a vampire you know…. CHEKOV: A wampire! SPOCK: Highly improbable captain. His physiology does not match up with what your culture would call a vampire, or what Mr. Chekovs would call a wampire. This life form is likely of a species that merely shares the name. Possibly one intended to ensnare the minds of what I believe your planet would call "Stupid teenage girls." McCOY: Why you green-blooded, pointy eared….. EDWARD: go away. I'll sparkle! McCOY: My god Jim, shield your eyes! KIRK: You shield your eyes! McCOY: DAMN IT JIM, I'M A DOCTOR NOT A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES! KIRK: Ok, ok, no need to get so ticked about it. (Edward sparkles. The enterprise crew is unimpressed) KIRK: Mr. Scott, fire photon torpedoes. SCOTTY: its no good cap'n! He's sparklin' so bright he'd reflect it right back at us! An' besides, 'e sucks so bloody much he may pull ar torpedoes into a wormhole! EDWARD: Oh shut up. You're the one who sounds like a Pakistani guy who had a stroke KIRK: I said fire SCOTTY: Words are nae anything worth losing life o'er cap'n. EDWARD: And your engines suck SCOTTY: BURN IN HELL YOU BLOODY BASTARD! KIRK: Now scotty! SCOTTY: I cannae change the laws of physics cap'n! KIRK: just do it (Scotty fires phasors, destroying Edward) SCOTTY: I da nae understand it! KIRK: When faced with our sheer awesomeness levels, the pathetic, unawesome creature was : Captain, I do not believe there is any law of physics which has to do with… KIRK: Ensign, 5 to beam up