Rips and Tears
There was no better feeling that night than Laxus' cool sheets as he snuggled up on his bed with Mirajane. It had been the first time since the seven year gap that they had gone back to the Tenrou Island as they held the first S-Class wizard test.
Even as a former winner, Laxus never really participated in the test. He didn't care to. Still though, with as much time as he spent in Magnolia those days, there was no way for him to skirt on his responsibilities that time. Especially when Mirajane begged him to go.
"Please, Laxus? Won't it be so much fun? I'll be there, you'll be there, and- Oh, Erza too! And I'm sure Natsu's going to be a contestant. And maybe even Cana again. I hope Elfman too. I hope everyone who wants it actually. I just love everyone, you know?"
He honestly just told her yes to shut her the fuck up. Now though, that it was over and everyone came back from the island okay, he was happy to report that it was him and him alone that kept Dragneel from furthering his career as a wizard, allowing Cana just to skate by and become the newest S-Class wizard. As glad as he secretly was for the drunk, he also knew how annoying Gildarts would be about it when he got back from, well, wherever he was and sorta wished it didn't happen.
At the moment though, Laxus was home, safe, and not trapped by Mavis in another seven year seal, so really, everything was just fine. And Mirajane had come home with him that night, of course she had, because there'd been a really thick tension between them at the island the whole time. It was mainly because, even though they had a very clear relationship, there was no way they could mess around with so many of their guild mates filtering around.
Err, rather Mirajane just wouldn't with him. At all. She said it was too out in the open, too public. He just said she was being annoying and tried to jump her bones at every turn, but to no avail.
When his little demon made up her mind about something, there was no changing it. Or at least not for him when it had to do with sex.
Once they got to his apartment that night though, after Cana's celebratory party up at the guild, all bets were off. And she was more than willing. She'd felt the tension no doubt as well. Mira might be an expert as playing innocent and pure, but he knew that she was actually anything but.
At the moment though, she wasn't what had woken him up. Nah. She was out of it then, all curled up in the bed with her back to him, sleeping peacefully. It was his rumbling stomach that needed some attention. Just as he was going to get up to find something to eat though, Mirajane rolled over, towards him, giving him a perfect view of her face.
He would have screamed, were he a lesser man. Because the woman next to him was not his girlfriend.
Now, he'd seen Mira in all her forms. Satan Soul, Halphas, Sitri. He'd also seen her in the mornings. And after a shower ruined all her makeup. He had never seen her, however, as she was in that moment.
"M-Mira?" he whispered softly, trying hard not to sound disturbed or bothered. "Babe? You up?"
It took a moment, but eventually he got a, "Mmmm?" out of her.
"A-Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Mmmhmm."
"Well, you're kinda…not you."
"Hmmm?"
"Open your eyes. Look for yourself."
Slowly, her blue eyes were staring at him in the darkness. When they read the look of shock on his face, she moved to sit up slightly.
"What's wrong, La- Laxus!" She gasped when she glanced down at her hands and found them scarred. He only moved to sit up too, pointing at her face.
"H-How have I never seen all these before?" he asked, able to trace them with his eyes. She was shirtless, as she'd not had a chance to slip anything on since that night, and when she sat up, he saw even more scars. Covering the tops of her breasts as well as many more sprinkling her stomach. Scars tissue. Everywhere. Which wouldn't be weird, had Laxus not seen Mirajane naked the good side of half a million times. And never before had he seen them.
Ever.
"O-Oh," Mira gasped, staring down at herself. "H-How-"
"Mira," he whispered softly, looking back into her eyes then. "What's going on?"
She didn't answer him though. Instead she quickly climbed across him and out of bed before rushing from the room and into the adjoining bathroom. He heard the lock slide into place.
"Mirajane-"
"Go away, Laxus," she called out in a very tense voice. "What time is it?"
"What? You gonna turn into a pumpkin or something?"
"What time-"
"Almost midnight," he grumbled. "Why?"
"You need to leave me alone for a few hours," she said. "Until my magic refills. Gosh, I had no idea that I had used so much. I mean-"
"What are you going on about, woman?" His stomach was still growling, but he figured he'd put it on the back burner, just that once. Sliding out of bed, he headed over to the door leading to the bathroom. He tried the knob, even though he knew it was locked. "Mirajane, let me-"
"No! Go away."
"Mira, just tell me what's going on. What does your magic have to do with-"
"I must have used too much, during the S-Class trials, without realizing it." She seemed to be talking more to herself than him. "It must not have been refilling fast enough and then, as we were sleeping, my transformation must have drained it fully and left me as-"
"Transformation?" His head was hurting. "What are you talking about? You weren't transformed into anything when we went to bed. Mira-"
"Go away, Laxus," she said then. "Go back to bed. I'll be all better in-"
"Then what? You gonna just hangout in there? Huh? Nah. No go, woman. Now open this door."
"No. Go-"
"You open it or I bust it down," he warned then.
"Lax-"
"One."
"You-"
"Two."
"Okay, okay." He heard the lock roll in the knob before Mira was opening the door. "There's no reason to do something silly like that."
He only stared at her then, when she revealed herself. She had slipped one of his discarded pairs of shorts on from the bathroom, but was still shirtless. He saw everything. She was so…beautiful, like always, but also damaged. Damaged in a way he had never seen. She'd always had her internal scars, hell, they all did, but never before had he seen her with external ones. Never.
"Mira-" he tried, taking a step forwards, but she only turned away.
"No, Laxus. Stop it. I opened the door, okay? Just leave me-"
"What's wrong?"
"N-"
"Explain it to me. What? You got some scars? I don't care. I just want to know what did this to you. I know that Cana didn't beat you that badly that last round. Hell, I'd have seen these cuts by now. And these are not fresh."
"Of course, not, Laxus." Her back was to him then, which was just as blemished as the rest of her. How had he never seen them before? "Look, just chalk this up to a fluke, huh? It won't happen again. In a few hours, I'll be back to my normal look and-"
"Transformation magic," he whispered softly then. "You're a master at it. Don't tell me that you use it to…to what, Mira? Cover up your scars? Constantly?"
"You caught me, Laxus," she practically sang, though it was out of annoyance. "You're a real detective. Just shut up already and-"
"What is your problem?" He was growing less concerned and more ticked. She was acting like he was the enemy. "So I figured out your little scheme? Who cares? Who the fuck cares?"
"You do!" She turned on him then, just to glare right back into his stony eyes. "You fucking do, Laxus. All of you. Constantly. So don't play innocent now!"
Mirajane was…cursing at him? That took his glare down a few notches as he just stood there, blinking. Wow. That blew him away more than the scars ever did.
"What are you talking about? God, Mira, are you drunk or something? Or am I?" Was it a dream?
"Just leave me, alone, Laxus." Her voice dropped back down to a normal octave then as she only stared at him, right in the eyes. "Alright?"
He swallowed then, giving her one last hard stare, as if in an attempt to memorize those scars, as he knew he'd never see them again, before turning to walk away.
"I'm not everyone else, Mirajane," he told her softly then. "I get it, alright? You're the model, the pretty, hot, sexy, whatever barmaid. I get why you might hide it from all of them. But me? Me? I thought that we were-"
"Don't play victim now," she told him, her tone still extremely accusatory. "You're not different."
"What are you-"
"Don't pretend, Laxus, like the majority of our relationship isn't just sex. It's all lust. It's a game. And yes, I love you. And yes, I think that you love me too, but-"
"Do not fucking tell me what I feel, demon. That's a sure fired way to get your pretty little ass kicked out of here."
She was undeterred. "You are not that deluded, Laxus. I know you're not. You're smart. If we stopped having sex today, would we still be together? No? Oh, wow. Shocking. So stop acting hurt. You know you're not. Or tell me, is it that hard to hear the truth?"
"Truth? You wanna talk about truth? When all your friends and family don't even get to see your real body day in and day out? What the fuck are you then? Just an imitation? Of what you want to be?" He snorted. "I've heard some sick shit, Mira, but you're officially certifiable."
"Why are you so shocked? How is this any different than makeup, Laxus? I was only-"
"You're sick, babe, if you think that you should hide this from me. From everyone. You're an S-Class wizard. The best of the best. And you know what? We get cut. We get scars. But we don't act like little bitches about it." Then he snorted. "Or at least we shouldn't."
"Don't you talk to me, Laxus, like things wouldn't be different. If I walked around like this. If-"
"It would, babe, and I'm not saying it wouldn't. So everyone wouldn't say your hot. So you'd have to…do this little transformation bit when you went to do modeling gigs. So what? But the rest of us, we're your friends. I'm your boyfriend. And you can't even-"
"You're my boyfriend because I fuck you good. Because I do things you like. Because it makes your horny, doesn't it, Laxus, when you see me in something appealing?" It was her turn to snort. "We're not special. That's what relationships are supposed to be at our level. And that's exactly what this is. I've had men before you, Laxus, and, when you finally get done with me, I'll have men after you. Ones that I have to put just as much skill in looking attractive at all times around too. You're not special, Laxus. You never have been. So stop with the entitlement act."
"Entitlement act?" That got him to turn back around on her and fast. Advancing across the room back towards her once more, he said, "Let's get one thing straight, Mira. Yeah, I like fucking you. And yeah, I do consider you the hottest woman in all of Fiore. But if that's all you were to me, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be doing this right now. I wouldn't be putting so much fucking effort into this relationship."
"What are you-"
"I wouldn't try my hardest not to seem like a jackass anymore. I wouldn't stick around for a lot longer in between jobs. I wouldn't turn down fucking blow jobs, which I get offered by the way, on a regular basis by lowly normal pathetic human women that just wanna say they fucked a wizard. I wouldn't let you in here, Mirajane, with all your stuff, all your shampoos and lotions and…tampons, so that you could muck up my apartment with them." He was staring her dead in the eyes then, his face contorted with rage. "'cause if this wasn't more than just sex, babe, if this wasn't all lust, you wouldn't be standing here right now, in my boxers, arguing with me. You'd just be another notch on the bedpost and I'd be onto another. Because guess what, Mirajane? You ain't that special. With or without your little transformation, scar hiding magic, you're just another slut wanting someone to pay her some attention the way daddy never could."
She might not have had her magic then, but she had her brute strength. It alone brought Laxus to his knees then as he howled in pain at the feeling of her slapping him with all her might.
"Damn, Mira!"
"Guess what, Laxus?" She was glaring down at him then, coming out of the bathroom to do so. "Daddy didn't love you either. So shut the hell up."
"Fuck you," he spat, but she was already back in the bathroom, closing the door behind her. But she didn't lock it. And he wasn't letting her get away with that.
When he slammed the door right back open, he found her staring in the mirror over the sink, as if checking to see if, yes, her true form was showing through. And it was. Of course it was.
She seemed shocked then for some reason that he had come back for more. He wasn't sure why though. She should have known there was now way that any woman would strike him and get away with it.
He was panting then, glaring over at her as she only stared at him with a slight air of boredom.
Then they were just staring at one another and, almost as if one, they somehow ended up in the shower. Together. Fucking. It wasn't until then that Laxus realized he'd been naked the entire time. That's just how comfortable he was with Mirajane, he figured.
It was off though and he could tell. That was mainly because every time he tried to kiss her anywhere, tried to cash in his one chance ever to trace those pretty little scars of hers, she denied him the chance. She'd shove his head away or push him off. Eventually he gave up.
Somehow they ended up on the floor of the shower/tub combo, his back pressed against it as the water cascaded down on them. They hadn't fallen, he knew that, so he really had no idea how they got down there, but they were and it didn't seem like they were getting up any time soon The water was starting to feel a little chilly, but neither moved to adjust the temperature as Mirajane sat in his lap, the falling water not stopping him from noticing her tears.
"It's not fair," she was crying to him as he only sat there, holding onto her. "Erza gets to be pretty. She's always gotten to be pretty! Everyone loves Erza! Yay, Erza! Fuck Erza! Fuck her!"
"Shhh," he whispered as he shut his eyes. They'd never turned on the lights, so it was really a miracle that they hadn't slipped before. "Shhh."
"Everyone," she moaned. "Gets whatever they want. I get nothing! And then…and then I lost Lisanna. And I had to change. Because no one liked me. No one ever liked me. But Lisanna and Elfman. And then he was miserable and I was lonely and…and I was finally pretty, Laxus! Like Erza and Cana and Levy and… Everyone liked me! They all finally liked me!" Her head fell then, pressing tightly against his chest. "Why doesn't anyone like the real me?"
He only rubbed her back though, whispering her name a few times, trying to calm her down. It wouldn't work. She was really worked up.
"I try so hard, Laxus. Not just with my attitude, because that was hard to master. People are bastards. And this guild is full of sick fucking perverts. But I put up with it. I pretended to love them all until I did. And now I do. Even fucking Erza. But I try every single freaking day to be perky and helpful and allusive and attractive and beautiful all while seeming like a naïve little idiot because that's what you all what." She jerked her head back then, screaming in his face, "I'm tired! I am so tired of going to that damn guildhall every day and pretending for people who don't even thank me half the time. For people who think it's funny to trash the guildhall. Because, who cares, Laxus? Mirajane will clean it up. Mirajane always cleans up. Mirajane is tired of cleaning up!"
"It's okay, baby, to feel-"
"No, it's not! It's never okay. Not for Mira. Mira's supposed to be happy. Because Mira's always happy. And now that Lisanna's back, hell, if she even looks a little sad, then she's fucking ungrateful. She got her dead sister back. How dare she ever feel bad after that sort of miracle? It's not allowed. It's not allowed, Laxus!"
She took a breath then and it sounded horrible. She was all snotty and teary and he just wanted to wrap her up in a blanket, put some soup in her, and let her sleep it off.
"You're right, Laxus. I hate myself. I really do. I hate this version, the transformations, even my old self. I hate it all. I hate everything." She sniffled. "I do miss my father. And my mother. And my village. And I love Fairy Tail, but I miss…and I hate…and I… Why can't I be pretty too?"
He opened his eyes then, finding hers in the darkness just as easily as he would the light. The water was annoying him then, but he didn't dare move, only sat there, watching her until the words found their way out of their mouth.
"Mirajane," he said slowly. "You're more than pretty. You're beautiful. Drop dead."
She tried to turn away from him, but he took one of the hands that were holding her to him away and grabbed her chin, forcing her to still.
"You know how many guys get wet dreams from you? Huh? How many women would kill to be you? Do you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Not this me, Laxus," she hissed at him, gesturing to her body. "Not the one that has scars from fighting anything and everything. From Erza to Azuma, everyone's gotten at least one mark on me."
"And? Who cares, Mirajane?" He let go of her face then to reach out and trace a large scar trailing from right under her breasts to her navel. "This? You think this makes you hideous? Babe, you're sexy with a billions scars or without any at all. You're just downright fucking hot. You're sex on wheels. You-"
"Stop, Laxus. You-"
"No," he said, his voice ultimate. "You think that your scars make you look bad, babe? Look the fuck at me."
"What about you? You-"
"This?" His hand came up then to point at the jagged mark across his eye. "This is fucking revolting, woman. This isn't attractive. At all. This is something to try and cover up. But I can't. It's always there. It's always fucking-"
"I love your scar," she told him then, hiccupping slightly as she came down off her crying jag. "I-"
"And I love you, Mira." He wasn't masking his feelings then. He was just being flat out honest. As much as he hated it usually, in that moment, the truth was settling just right on his empty stomach. "And look at me, woman. Fucking look at me. I got scars on my chest, on my arms. And you sure like 'em, don't you?"
"Well-"
"And I ain't gonna lie, Mirajane. You're much more beautiful, without any flaws. You just are. Everyone is. And if it makes you feel better to be that way around everyone else, fine. I don't give a damn. If it makes you feel pretty or on par with the other chicks, fine. That's a woman thing. Sometimes I talk about all our hot sex really loudly so everyone hears and feels inferior to me. We all have things that we do that we shouldn't."
She blinked. Then, she exclaimed, "You what?"
"But," he continued, reaching over towards her face then to tap her nose. "That doesn't mean that we have to keep things from one another. I mean, Mira, you really think that I'm less attracted to you? Babe, I just fucked your brains out as hard as usual, did I not? And last time I checked, yes, those are scars covering your sexy little belly and perky boobs."
Then she was sitting there, staring at him. She wasn't crying any longer, but she was in that in between phase, when she was still rather weepy. Softly, she merely asked him, "Can we get out now? I'm cold."
"Of course, Mira," he sighed before moving to get up. "Just let me-"
His stomach cut him off that time, roaring at it's highest level, protesting the fact that it had been, oh, five hours since he had eaten.
Mirajane only giggled then, seeming to fall back into her usual self with ease. Then she leaned over and kissed his nose.
"Let me go make you something," she said, moving to get out of the tub. "I-"
"Not if you don't wanna," he told her then, just watching as she climbed out.
"Hmmm?"
"That stuff you said, about us all using you." He cleared his throat. "If you don't wanna make me food-"
"Trust me, Laxus, if I didn't want to make you something, I wouldn't." She was out of the shower then and finally, for the first time since they had woken up, smiled down at him. "Now, sandwiches or something hot?"
"Eggs sound good."
"Then eggs it is."
That's how Laxus found himself later, in his little kitchen as Mirajane went around, making him an extremely early breakfast. She was wearing one of his shirts then, one of the dress shirts, but none of the buttons were done up. She had a bra on though for some reason, but Laxus made no complaints. She'd left the panties off.
"You can stop staring at me already," she told him at one point. "It's getting weird."
"Just memorizing."
"Memorizing? Me?"
Grunt. "Your scars." He was seated at the kitchen table, just watching as she went around the room. "I have a feeling I won't be seeing them again."
"Sausage or bacon?" she asked then without answering the unasked question. Then, not waiting for him to say anything, she rolled her eyes and said, "Both."
He nodded approvingly. "Toast too. And don't skimp on those eggs."
"Laxus, I am not scrambling more than five eggs at, what? One in the morning?"
"My tummy though-"
"You're such a baby. And you're officially out of eggs now if I use all eight."
"Eight it is."
Rolling her eyes, she glanced over at him. He was still staring at her visible stomach though.
"You're not bull shitting me then?" she asked him softly at a moment. "You don't hate them?"
"No," he mumbled before looking up at into her deep blue irises. "I don't."
She turned back towards the stove then, setting the carton of eggs she'd gotten from the fridge down on the counter. "Alright then. Maybe you don't have to memorize them."
He grinned then, almost a smirk, as he shut his eyes, taking on a few moments of rest. He'd given it his all back on Tenrou, after all, just to make sure the stupid Salamander didn't get to be S-Class. He'd do anything to keep that from happening.
"It's more than lust, babe," he mumbled then. And after a moment, Mira only sighed.
"I believe you, Laxus," she sighed. "Trust me, I believe you."
Searching for my Rushmore totally gave me this idea and I just tweaked it a little to fit what I wanted to do with it. I mean, I don't think it's completely improbable to think that Mirajane could pull this off. And other than Laxus' scar and that marking on Lily's eye, no one in Fairy Tail ever really gets too banged up. After a day, they're all healed. You'd think Mira would get a little battered after awhile. I dunno. I just thought it was a cute idea.