Hey everyone,
This is an idea I had a while back that ended up making a pretty good story, so I'd really appreciate it if you took the time to review! It goes back and forth, from present to past, so the whenever the writing is in italics, it's in the past. The setting is loosely based off the world in the third Underworld movie. Enjoy, and thank you so much for reading! :)
Kari Haven was born a princess in a society of vampires. Her father, Lord Haven, ruled over them with his unforgiving and harsh nature, and as his daughter, Kari was being trained to one day take his place. She used to believe that she was different from him. She didn't share his love of punishment and love to make the commoners afraid of him. It wasn't until she condemned the man she loved to death that she realized they might not be as different as she thought.
Kari sat in her room and looked out the window at the platform which, ironically, happened to be just below. The bloodstained wood told of more than one death that had taken place there. They were a harsh race, one that didn't shy away from death. To her, it had always just been a platform where the guilty paid the ultimate price for their crimes. But now it was more than that. Now it was the place where Blake Eaton be killed tomorrow unless she did something about it.
It didn't matter anymore that she'd once loved him. It didn't matter that, just days ago, she'd wanted to spend her life with him. That was in the past. She was no longer young and naive, eager to trust and love. She was a woman scorned. He had hurt her, and he would pay with his life. She would make sure of it.
These were the hardest moments. She was alone: there was nothing to think about and no one to see. She was just left with her aching heart and traitorous thoughts. Kari kept waiting for the moment when she would feel better. She hated feeling like this, like there was something wrong with her but she couldn't do anything but wait to get better. She knew Blake's death wouldn't heal her, but that didn't mean it wasn't worth a try.
Kari obediently followed her father through the streets, passing workers as they moved logs, rocks, all sorts of things. They were just passing through on their way to one of Father's friends, and though her head was held high and she carried herself as the royalty she was, her mind was elsewhere, wishing she could be somewhere else, be someone else. These visits bored her, all of the talk of politics and laws, but Father insisted that she come, just in case anything ever happened to him and she was forced to rule. Kari hated her position though. She was always expected to follow, and would most likely never get the chance to be in charge. She would forever be preparing for the future she'd never have.
One of the men working in the area fell over, and Kari could see that he was very old. He dropped the large rock he was carrying. Her father and their entourage came to a stop, and the observer nearby came over at once. His face was dirty from working outside, and she could see that it was unnaturally pale. Everything was supposed to go smoothly when Lord Haven came through. She'd seen enough to know that the old man would be punished severely for his fault, possibly killed, though with his age and condition, that might be kind.
She looked over at her father, whose young face was unaged despite the number of years he'd been alive. His life was all about luxury, as was hers. These common people had a much different existence. They worked twelve hours a day and after years and years of being exposed to the elements and physical exertion, they did slowly age, though it was still slower than humans. His face was devoid of all emotion, though she knew him well enough to know that he was indeed displeased. No one moved to stop the observer as he drew close to the man, motioning to another observer so that they could drag the weak man to a nearby post where he would be whipped.
The guards started to move forward, but Father stayed where he was, making an example of the man by doing so. This would send a clear message that he was not forgiving. Everyone would be reminded that he did not show mercy.
Kari looked away, having seen whippings many times before, and caught the eyes of a young man about her same age standing in the crowd, all of who had stopped to watch their peer being punished. The boy was cleaner than most, his dark hair not as shaggy as the rest. His eyes looked like black coals, and they burned into her with a passion that she wasn't meant to see. He knew, just as she did, that this was wrong. Perhaps he knew the man. Nevertheless, Kari couldn't get the boy out of her mind, even after the workers had long disappeared behind them.
How dare he make her trust him? How dare he take her love and throw it away.
Kari's mood constantly fluctuated between anger and sadness, determination and uncertainty. Anger was easier. She could control it, could direct it at whatever she wanted to. Sadness was harder. It was like water that fell through her fingers whenever she tried to hold it. It could wash over her, drowning her, until it was done and let her go. She was powerless against sadness, but anger gave her power.
She threw the first thing her hand found. It hit the wall, breaking into a million tiny pieces, and Kari felt sad for a moment. No matter how hard she tried, it would never be the same. Even if she took the time to put together all the little pieces, it would still be changed. She'd broken it forever. It would never be the same. There was nothing she could do. There was nothing that could save it.
She wished she could just go end this. It was killing her to wait, to listen to that little voice in the back of her head that insisted she rethink this whole thing. If it was over, she wouldn't have to think about it anymore. She could move on with her life. Even though he'd hurt her, a part of her still died to think of Blake sitting in a cell, facing death alone. For so long, all she'd wanted was to protect him. And now she was the one he needed to be protected from. Too bad no one could save him. His life would be determined by the person who had the most reason to hate him.
Soon, she soothed herself. Soon it would be over. Soon he would pay. Not too long ago, "soon" had been what she longed for most. It had been a promise of a different future, a better future then the one she faced. It had been a future empty of cruelty and things she didn't want. It had been a future with Blake by her side and love always in her heart. Now, "soon" was something she equally wanted and dreaded.
"You aren't taking this seriously!"
Kari resisted the urge to flinch, instead casting her eyes downward. Father's voice continued, telling her that she would someday rule over millions, that the world was changing and she needed to be ready for it. It was nothing she hadn't heard before, but it still affected her in the same way it always did. Fear, regret, anger, guilt, making that voice in the back of her head grow stronger, saying that she wasn't ready and never would be. She sacrificed so much to make him proud, but it was never enough. She was never enough.
She fled when he excused her, her eyes filling with shameful tears. She was supposed to rule them all one day, but how could she when she couldn't even take a little criticism? The truth was that Kari was so afraid of what the future might hold for her, and she had serious doubts that she could handle it. She wasn't strong enough or hard enough. She was weak, and they would eat her alive given the chance.
Kari paused in the middle of a hallway, turning and continuing on to find the door she'd discovered when she was little. It was so out of the way that few had probably ever found it. Through it was a small staircase that wound its way up to the hallway outside of her room. She used it often in an effort to avoid Father or the people who always seemed to be roaming around at all times of the day.
At the top of the stairs, Kari opened the door to find a familiar face gazing at her in surprise. It was the boy she'd seen at the whipping a few weeks ago. She blinked in surprise, not failing to notice that there was no one else around. She opened her mouth, planning on saying something about how he shouldn't be there, but all that came out was the small, quiet cry of pain that she was holding inside.
She sank to the floor, and the boy went with her, taking her into her arms and allowing her to ruin his shirt further with tears. Kari held onto him like he was the only thing between her and death, which, in a way, he was. It felt strange to be held by a stranger. She was supposed to be queen someday, and among their kind, crying would be a serious sign of weakness. Yet she didn't pull away, and his presence was all that allowed her to eventually regain composure. Kari forgot to ask him why he was up there alone, or how he'd found her secret door, or what he'd been doing outside of her room. She just held him tighter.
She could always save him…
It's not too late, a part of her whispered, a suggestion she wished she could consider. She wished she wanted to save him. She wished she could go back to the way things were, even though he'd her hurt. She wished he never had. Not just for her, but for them. No matter how angry she was, a part of it was always at him just for messing up what they had and for making her do this. Why couldn't he have just done the right thing? Now she hated him. Hated him for doing that to her, and hated him because he was making her do this to him.
True, she had a choice. She didn't have to kill him. She could just let him go, banish him, punish him, whatever she wanted. It was her choice to sentence him to death. But really, it would hurt her so much to see him go free. She wondered for a moment about all of the other people this had happened too. How many people had put everything they had into someone they loved, someone who then betrayed them? How did they deal with it?
Not everyone could take matters into their own hands like she could. Some of them had spent years with that person. Some of them had no choice but to see them every day. Kari marveled at their strength, but she was not jealous of their weakness. Too many of them refused to do anything for themselves, and some even took the person back. She would do this for them, if nothing else. She would show that they didn't have to live like that.
Still, she sometimes wondered what it would be like to live in a world without him in it. Would it feel empty, or would it seem like justice had been served? Would she look back on this day as having done something right, or something very wrong?
The cold air nipped at Kari's skin. Her hands shook slightly, as they always did, but she stayed quiet. Excitement, anticipation, and anxiety bubbled inside of her. She always looked forward to any chance she had to sneak away and be with Blake, but if she were ever caught, the consequences would be dire for them both. Luckily, there never seemed to be anyone walking around. She didn't doubt the securities' abilities for a second, but they'd never stopped her from getting out of the building yet.
She neared the door of the little shack. At first it had seemed too risky, but what better place to hide then right in the middle of things? If anyone ever saw her going there, she would be in trouble, but it would be simple enough to think up an excuse. Kari was more worried about Blake then herself. She worried endlessly about him, just as she knew he was always concerned about her.
Suddenly, a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, quickly closing the door behind them. Kari gasped before she was taken into Blake's arms. After that night two months ago when he'd patiently held her for hours while she'd cried, they'd begun seeing each other. The more time Kari spent with him, the more she wanted to be with him, and the more impossible their situation became. She knew deep down that they couldn't be together. Father would never allow it. But she couldn't stop hoping that somehow, someday, they could. She wanted it more than anything.
Blake moved to kiss her, continuing to keep her locked in his strong, capable arms. Her back pressed against the door, and her heart beat crazily as he kissed her neck. His lips left her skin, just inches away from hers, and he whispered, "I've missed you," while pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Kari was too breathless to answer. All she could do, all she could think, was to kiss him.
One of his arms wound around her waist, pulling her close, while the other went under her clothes, moving slowly over smooth, soft skin. As their desire picked up, his hand moved to her breast. Kari gasped against his mouth before kissing him with even harder than before. Blake started grinding against her, and suddenly it seemed that the door was the only thing keeping her up. She'd never been with someone before, not really. His touch made her skin burn, and she blushed from his hungry gaze.
His hands slowly pushed the straps of her dress off of her shoulders so that it fell to the floor. She shivered as the cool air met her suddenly bare skin, and tried not to feel self-conscious as his gaze traveled slowly over her uncovered curves. When she couldn't stand it anymore, couldn't stand not feeling his hands on her body and his lips on hers, she reached for him, removing his shirt and letting him explore her.
As the rest of his clothes fell away, their bodies moved together, and Kari was glad she'd waited until Blake to do it. She trusted him, felt safe with him, and as she gasped his name, she realized that she loved him. With anyone else, it wouldn't have felt this way, as though they were two pieces that fit perfectly together. She'd never been so vulnerable and nervous and happy before.
Only a few hours to go.
Outside of Kari's window, a small crowd of people were gathering around the platform. She recognized many of them as having lived close to Blake. One of them looked up at her window, catching her eyes. He looked tough and hard, as all of them did, yet in his eyes she could see his pain. He had probably worked with Blake, and knew he was innocent of the charges against him. The way he looked at her, it was easy to imagine that he knew her secret as well.
Kari looked away before the thoughts could drive her crazy. She couldn't do this. He may have hurt her, but these people were his friends, and she was forcing them to watch as he was killed for something he didn't do. None of these people had a voice strong enough to save him. They were helpless against her overwhelming power. In a society where few had a strong influence over many, there was so much room for corruption. With just a few lies, she'd doomed someone who hadn't broken any laws to death.
No. After everything he'd done to her, he deserved to this. Just because justice couldn't always be found where it should didn't mean that she should ignore it completely. She refused to feel badly about this. Kari had done nothing but make a man pay for his actions. Surely that was commendable, noble even.
It was hard to lie to herself after seeing the truth in that man's eyes. Outside, she heard a few of the people start to sing. It was a song she'd heard a few times, one that they sung while working whenever someone died of unjust causes. Kari felt warm as she listened to the song get louder and stronger. On and on it went, many voices becoming one. A few guards feebly tried to make them stop, but as they were doing nothing wrong, they couldn't do much.
Ever since that night, Kari had been sneaking out more and more. Blake worried that she was getting reckless, but it was hard to think of anything else whenever she got the chance to see him. It was all she wanted. He was all she wanted. Everything else just seemed like annoying details. No one could keep them apart if they wanted to be together, and someday, she'd find a way to make it happen. She had too. She couldn't imagine a life where she wasn't wanting to be his…who would she even be? She was Blake's Kari, and she liked it that way.
Nevertheless, she didn't often get a good chance to get out. Usually it was somewhat reckless and she risked getting caught, but her alternative was to sit in her room and imagine what she'd be doing if she had taken the chance. She hated doing that, hated being weak and afraid, so she tried to take every opportunity she got.
It's not the smartest plan, the reasonable part of her said one evening when she saw a chance to escape. Father was off doing work, and there was some disturbance going on, so many of the guards were taking care of that. They didn't want to babysit nearly as much as she didn't want to be babysat. Kari grabbed her dark cloak. She'd chosen it specifically because it looked exactly like something anyone could have. No one would be looking for her, but even if they were, they wouldn't be able to recognize her.
She'd just put it on and was running quietly down the halls when she heard a knock on her door behind her. Kari turned just in time to make eye contact with Alison, her best friend. In the second their eyes met, her mood dropped. Alison was happy to see her, but it only took her a moment to realize that Kari had a secret, the kind that required sneaking off while no one would notice. Alison knew that Kari was keeping something from her, and more than that, that Kari hadn't trusted her with whatever it was.
Kari had barely paused before she threw herself down the stairs, her guilt sticking even as she ran far away from the problem. She knew Alison wouldn't tell anyone, so why hadn't she told her? They'd always shared everything with each other, and it wasn't as though she hadn't had any opportunities. Perhaps she was afraid of what Alison would say or think. Maybe she was terrified that someone would tell her that what she was doing was wrong and try to stop her from seeing Blake. No matter what it was, Kari knew her friendship with Alison would always be fractured from this.
It was nearly time. Kari got up, leaving her anguish behind as she changed into more appropriate clothing. Before she could leave, there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find Alison. Surprised, she allowed her old friend inside. Alison was dressed neatly as well, her dark hair pinned up into an elegant bun. Without saying anything, she looked outside at the singing crowd, which had grown bigger then Kari had ever seen it before. There would always be a few dozen people watching whenever someone was put to death, but there were more than a hundred people around the platform now.
"What's wrong Alison?" Kari asked quietly. Surely something was wrong. She wouldn't have come with so little time before they both needed to be in the council chamber unless it was important. This was Alison's first time having a seat at the council. Perhaps she was just nervous, though Kari was hardly the person to calm her nerves. Kari would be at the head of the council for the first time, since she was in charge of the case. Her father would be seated next to her, but she would be in control.
Alison shook her head. "You're making the wrong decision."
"No." Kari's knees started to shake, so she sat down. "No, I'm not." But it was exactly what she'd feared every day since she'd sentenced him to death. She was constantly going back and forth, wondering what was right and wrong, and thinking that this was the first time where right and wrong haven't been obvious. It was all just various shades of grey, differences of opinion.
"Kari, I don't know what he did to you, but I know that Blake was who you were going to meet that night I caught you leaving. I know you love him, and I know you're making a decision that you'll never forgive yourself for if you follow through with it."
"You know nothing," Kari insisted, though she wasn't so sure. How many secrets had they each kept from each other? Perhaps she wasn't the only one who kept things from her friend. "He deserves this. He chose this. I had no choice."
Alison smiled sadly. "Maybe you're able to tell yourself that now, but you and I both know that won't hold. Anger fades, and with it, your conviction that you're making the right choice. Because it is a choice, Kari. You're the one making it, not Blake. Seeing as how no one has been missing or murdered besides a girl who I'm guessing you're responsible for, he hasn't broken any laws. You know he didn't do what you've accused him of doing." She studied Kari's face for a few moments, then nodded. "I'll go. But Kari, you have choices. Don't make one you'll regret. Good luck."
A few weeks later, Kari was putting on some rogue and enjoying the absolute stillness coming from all around her. The world was always spinning, always forcing her to make decisions she wasn't ready to make, but for once, she was in perfect sync with it. She had no more reservations about Blake and no more doubt that she was doing the wrong thing. She loved him, and that was all that mattered.
She followed her usual route, now so familiar to her that she didn't have to think about where the noisy floorboards were or when to duck because of a guard posted outside of a window. She thought of one thing only, and that was, as usual, Blake. She was also finding it easier to pay attention to the council and her father. She felt powerful and made thoughtful decisions, and it was nice to see Father pleased with her for once. If only he knew.
He would find out eventually, of course. Even if she eloped with Blake, he'd figure it out. No one ever left. Only Father was allowed to leave, and those were for official reasons. Kari wondered sometimes what he'd do if she told him. She knew he'd be angry, but what would he actually do? Put them both in prison? Forbid them from seeing each other? The idea was unbearable. They would have to leave, run far away to where his influence wouldn't touch them.
As she reached the house, she heard noises inside. She fled to the shadows, finding a window to look into. Her heartbeat was loud in her ears. What reason would anyone have for being there so late? She worried for a moment that someone had discovered them, but how? It was nearly impossible, unless Alison had told, and that seemed unlikely. But if not that, what could it be?
She didn't have to wait long to find out. Eyes burning, heart hammering, she fled back to her room as fast as her legs would take her. She did not worry about being caught, just about getting as far away as possible. Kari wondered if she would ever be able to get the image out of her head. She thought wildly about what she should do next, for what this meant.
When the logical, problem solving part of her grew quiet and faded away, Kari fell onto her bed and buried her head in pillows. Her heart had never felt like this, and she'd never been so hurt or betrayed. She didn't understand how this could have happened or what she'd done wrong. The only thing worse than remembering what she'd seen was recalling when they had been together, when Blake had held her and told her that everything would be okay, when Blake had touched her so gently and kissed her so passionately, when she'd been happy. But even those memories couldn't fight what she'd just seen for long.
It was simple enough, but something that no one could misinterpret. Kari would remember it for the rest of her life, would see it every time she closed her eyes. Blake and a girl she'd never seen before, kissing, naked, moving, on his bed.
After Alison left, Kari stayed in her chair and closed her eyes, her thoughts drowning out all of the voices still singing outside, calling for justice. After all she'd gone through, couldn't people just accept her choices? Did they have to question her at every turn? It didn't matter if she was making the right decision or not, because it was her decision.
And that, she realized, was a dangerous power to have. She had the ability to say what was right or wrong, to make her own rules. She could make whatever laws she wanted, and others would be forced to follow them. If she said that no one could eat for one day a week, then people would starve. If she ruled that they worked for more hours a day, then they would work for even more hours than they already did. If she decided that someone would die for breaking her trust and hurting her, then they would be put to death.
Alison may be right, but who was to say? Why had anyone put a life into Kari's unsure, unable, and emotional hands? Ali was right about one thing, at least: Whatever decision she made, she'd have to live with. No one else. If she decided that he should be put to death, then she'd always know that she'd killed someone she loved. But if she let him free, then she'd know that someone had hurt her, used her, and had gotten away with it. She had powers that others did not, and didn't she owe it to everyone to use them to spread justice, even if not everyone agreed with it?
She was exactly where she'd always been. Kari had no idea if she was doing the right thing or not, or even what she was doing. She felt like a child. All she could do was go around in circles. She no longer knew what she wanted. She wasn't ready to follow through or to really make any decisions at all. She was nearly out of time, and she was completely undecided.
It had been only a few hours since she'd seen them, but Kari was already coming up with a plan. He would pay. They both would. Even thought it was daytime and she would be reported missing, she put on her cloak and slipped out. She wondered the streets, looking for that one face of the girl she'd never seen before. It wasn't long before she found her.
Kari waited until the girl was alone. She looked to be a year younger then herself, and she had blond hair paired with clear blue eyes. She was very pretty, Kari noted absently. But she was here for one purpose only. She moved closer to the girl, who turned warily as though her mind was somewhere else. As there was no one else around, Kari lowered her hood, and the girl's eyes widened. She bowed her head respectfully, but Kari would have none of it.
"What is your name?" she ordered in a harsh, cold voice.
"Alexa," she answered.
"Where were you last night, Alexa?" The girl fidgeted and lowered her eyes, clearly not wanting to share where she'd been, but not realizing what she'd done. She couldn't refuse a direct question from Kari though, not without receiving punishment.
"I was with someone." Her eyes flickered to meet Kari's for a moment before returning to the ground. A small smile found its way onto her lips as she no doubt remembered the previous night. Kari didn't want to hear or see anymore. In a split second, she was behind the unsuspecting girl, with a knife at her throat.
"Did you honestly believe that you could steal a man from the princess? Did you think that I would let you get away with it?" she hissed in the girl's ear. "You are foolish."
"I didn't know!" Alexa insisted, trying to get out of Kari's unbreakable hold. "I swear it will never happen again!"
Kari sighed furiously, impatience getting the best of her. "He tricked you. He played us both. And believe me, he will pay…but ladies first." With that, she moved the knife just as she'd been trained to. Kari left before anyone could see her. She went home hidden in her cloak, finding Father just as he was about to leave. Time for part two.
"Father!" she called. He turned and waited. "I came upon a secret meeting while I was out walking today. A boy is trying to start an uprising." Father's eyes narrowed and he sent some guards off to bring some horses. Together, they rode into the village, and Kari followed the familiar path one last time.
In what seemed to take an eternity, a guard pounded on Blake's door. The bewildered boy emerged, eyes finding Kari's as a thousand questions flew between them. She watched him with cold, unforgiving eyes and could see the exact moment when he realized what must have happened. The guard tied his hands behind his back, telling Blake that he was under arrest for conspiring against Lord Haven.
Kari turned her horse around and raced back home, knowing that Blake would pay for what he'd done to her in the worst way possible: death.
A few minutes later, Kari left her room and began walking towards the chamber, convinced that her final decision was the right one. Neither option had more regrets then the other. Neither was more right or more wrong. Neither held more justice. Neither made her happy. Neither could put things back to the way they were.
In the end, it came to what Kari could heal from. Her heart would always be broken either way, would never go back to the way it was. That wasn't an issue. But who she was and how she'd been raised was what really determined her decision. She would always move forward, always go on and fight for what was right. She knew there would be days when she woke up and wished she'd made a different decision, but those days would come and go. She would move on regardless. Her decisions would just have to become a part of her.
When she reached the chamber doors, Kari paused. She could hear from the sounds of people moving around and talking that everyone else was already inside, waiting for her. Father would be in there, Alison would be there. Blake was inside, flanked by two guards. In just a moment, she would have to face them all. The point of no return was fast approaching. But first, she needed a moment to collect herself.
This was what she really wanted. She already knew that. There was already no going back. Kari wasn't completely sure why she needed this moment, or even what there was to accept. Her life for the past few months had all been leading up to this, and the weight of that threatened to crush her. She knew she'd remember this moment for the rest of her life. Perhaps she'd look upon it proudly as a day where she did the best she could even if it didn't end up the way she wanted, or maybe she'd see it as a horrible day where she'd ruined her own life.
Taking a few deep breaths, Kari knew she couldn't put it off much longer. The time had come. She opened the doors.
Father was pacing around his study, all of the evidence that Blake was guilty spread out on the table in front of him. It was amazing what people would do to save their own skin. Whenever anyone was questioned about Blake Eaton conspiring against their great Lord Haven, they always seemed to remember some long-forgotten memory that they hadn't thought was important at the time. Kari knew as well as anyone that Blake had never done any of those things, but she found it pleasing to watch anyway.
Nevertheless, Kari knew her Father was struggling to come up with the proper punishment for someone who had conspired against him but not done anything. Normally he would have the man killed as an example, but his father before him had faced a similar situation, and he'd let the conspirator off with a lashing.
"Father?" Kari asked as she walked into his study, her chin held high. "I would like to take over this case from now on, with your permission. I believe it would be good practice for me."
"You're right," Father said thoughtfully. "You're ready, and I for one am very curious as to how you'd handle this type of crime. It is yours. Do with the boy what you wish."
A week later, Blake's trial was held. The fake evidence was overwhelming, and everyone's attention turned to Kari, as she was the one who would now decide his punishment. She held all of their eyes, lastly locking her gaze with Blake's. She wasn't sure what she saw there. Anger? Regret? Sadness? It didn't matter. With one word, this would all be over.
"Death."
Kari managed to take her seat without looking at anyone. Everyone quieted immediately, until the only sound that could be heard was the one Blake's iron cuffs were making. Kari, after taking one last breath to calm her nerves, looked up into the beautiful eyes she'd once loved. It seemed like everyone held their breath as one, eager to see how the event would play out. She was Lord Haven's daughter, after all, and many would love to see her fail so that they themselves could take her place.
She felt weak and lightheaded under their intent, demanding gazes until she remembered that they were all here because of her, because of the power she possessed. Her presence alone should demand respect, and she needed to remember her place, just as they all needed to remember their lower statuses.
But even thoughts of politics and power couldn't keep her attention away from Blake, especially now that she was in the same room as him for the first time in days. Kari looked into his pleading eyes, eyes that so obviously said "I'm sorry, please forgive me. I love you just as I've always loved you, and if you let me free then things can be exactly as they were."
But they can't, Blake. I can never forget what I saw, and I can never trust you again. If you loved me, then you wouldn't have made the choices you did. You've made yours, and now I'm going to make mine. I'm sorry for this, because I love you. But don't think for a second that you don't deserve this. I could never move on if you were here, not really. My entire life, I've been taught to punish harshly and to do what I believe is justice. I never understood until now, but Father is right. I need to do what I think is right or die trying, because no one else can.
And so, for the second time, I said the word that always left me breathless, the word that I could never take back, the word that would cause me to lead the council through the crowd and onto the platform where my first love would be punished.
"Death."