It was a Good Idea at the Time
By medea42
-it's a fanwork. I have no claims on the characters or on the Potter/Rowling universe or any other characters mentioned, for that matter. Also, it was a dare. Long story.
Professor McGonnagal took stock of the damage to the Gryffindor common room. Not only was nearly all the furniture broken, smoking or in the case of the couch a puddle on the floor, the fireplace was somehow in the ceiling - and burning merrily away there – and from where she stood she could see a gaping view of the Scottish winter, and feel the bursts of cold come her way. It might even take muggles to fix this. She surveyed the students lined up before her: Ms. Granger and Mr. Potter looked quite abashed, and Mr. Weaseley the younger was whimpering on the floor; it looked like there was rather quite a lot of blood. A red-haired girl in a pink bonnet who looked for all the world like some carnival clown was in the fetal position, muttering "bad girls, horrible horrible," and in the other corner was a girl of reddish brown hair with dark glasses and a green jacket who looked like one of those morose American muggles that one would see on programs about so-called lives.
First things first, tend to the wounded. She zapped Ron to the infirmary and hoped that the nurse wouldn't be too cross at having to bleach the sheets again this week. Next she had to sort out the trespassers. She had her best firm teacher eye fixed in place. "You two," she said, gesturing at each girl, "explain your presence!"
The pink-bonnet spoke first, her voice bubbling like a sugary froth. "I was in my strawberry patch, picking fruit for a pie I was going to make. And then I was here…and the bad girls had a gun and were saying awful things about where fertilizer comes from…and then that one bit me!" she pointed a quivering finger at the girl in the green jacket.
"I told you I was sorry. I thought you were my sister coming at me with a mascara wand again, and I was in the middle of dinner when I wound up here. I'm still hungry!" The girl's aggravation was clear.
"I was trying to hug you. You looked like you needed a hug!" the girl in the bonnet tried to draw her knees in even closer to herself.
McGonnagal turned her full attention to the girl in green. "And what are you doing here?"
The girl pushed her glasses up her nose. "All you're getting out of me is name, rank and home room number." She muttered something under her breath about not eating at that damn Chinese place ever again.
Both had American accents. Both had strange clothing and postures. Neither girl desired to be present. Minerva's bets were on Hermione as the instigator; she, like every other too-smart student practicing conjuring, would argue that it was really quite good practice, that conjuring fictional characters couldn't possibly do harm. How they came to that opinion when at least one student had a round of fisticuffs with the lady-in-white painting every week was beyond her.
"Ms. Granger, Mr. Potter, care to explain?"
Hermione and Harry both stared at their shoes. Hermione spoke first. "Well, you see, we were studying for our midterms, and we wanted to make sure we remembered the lessons – and Harry and I both remembered this muggle show called Celebrity Death Match…"
McGonnagal inwardly cursed American muggles and their MTV. "And what happened to Mr. Weasley?"
Harry turned pink. "Er, that's a problem you should know about – uh…"
"Out with it, Mr. Potter!"
"Ron decided to conjure Daria –" he gestured to the girl in the green jacket "and Jane from this show called Daria…and, er, Jane showed up with a glue gun, and was really quite cross about some gummy bears –"
The girl referred to as Daria glared at Harry. "I'm pulled out of nowhere to fight another annoying redhead, and I'm being told I'm fiction. This is just a great day."
Hermione burst with it: "We don't know how she got out, but she's running around Hogwart's, armed with glue and said something about art supplies by force if necessary."
Daria smirked. "I don't know where the hell we are but I'm pretty sure Jane's next canvas is going to be some English jerk's skin."
McGonnagal heard a keening screech from somewhere in the hallway below, and was certain it did not come from the groundskeeper's cat. That would probably be the Jane they were speaking of.
Hermione's eyes were huge, her face was like that of a naughty kitten. "It had seemed like a good idea at the time, ma'am."
McGonnagal collected their wands and handed them each mops, Daria and the pink girl included. The pink girl clung to the mop and wept. "Clean it up," she said. "I'll fetch the girl with the gun." Surely, this Jane would leave a trail.
-END-