Ocean of Tears

Topic: Gravitation

Genre: Angst.

Summary: 'I think... Yuki, I think that if you ever left me, I'd cry an ocean of tears.' Shuichi's got an ocean to cry and a writer's passing to mourn. Character death, YuShu, oneshot.

Notes: This is my first story that's been Beta-ed, so I hope it's alright. Angsty, a bit, and there are some author notes you may want to read at the bottom, but it's fine if you don't. Really though? Nothing new. Please beware of chances of OOC- if I have any, I think they're plausible with the storyline.

Author: Sammy kill joy

"I think... Yuki, I think that if you ever left me, I'd cry an ocean of tears. And... and I would pick off all the stars from the sky. And I would destroy all the world's celery sticks so no one would ever have to deal with them again and-"

"Baka, where'd you come up with something that idiotic? And does it look like I'm going anywhere?"

"I meant if you ever died, Yuki."

"Well of course I'm going to die, baka, but that doesn't mean anytime soon. Che."

"Suuuuuree, Mr. Practically-Inhales-Death-Every-Day! And I was trying to be poetic."

"Brat, you barely have enough talent to write songs; don't even get me started on poetry."

"... YUKI SAID I HAD TALENT FOR WRITING SONGS! YOSH!"

"..." Cue the exasperated rolling of the eyes.

Cue the small hidden smile that no one saw.

He couldn't understand how life worked; just when it seemed that some higher being wanted you to be happy, something like this happened. Something horrible, terrible, irreversible.

Funny how when he really, really needed them, the tears refused to come. It was like some mental dam blocking the water ways. But fuck, if he ever needed to bawl, this would be it.

A strong hand gently landed on his shoulder, but Shuichi couldn't bring himself to look back, to let anyone see him as such an emotional wreak.

"You'll get better," his best friend whispered sadly, tightening his grip on the singer's shoulder. Hiro knew better than to ask if he was alright. Hiro knew better than to try and comfort him over broken pasts. Hiro knew. And despite the harsh words, Shuichi was entirely grateful for them.

"Maybe," he agreed, still keeping his tired violet eyes locked ahead. Getting better... without Yuki... knowing that Yuki was gone... just didn't make sense. 'No Yuki' didn't fit into an equation for happiness. It was just an impossibility, really...

Shuichi fought the impulse to wrap his arms around his slim waist. Hiro could feel him tense still and with a heavy sigh that got painfully stuck halfway up his throat, released Shuichi and walked away. Shuichi needed to get over things by himself, Hiro realized, no matter how much it seemed like he needed somebody else to hold his hand.

"... No way. No way... SHUT UP, tell me you're lying!"

"Why would I lie to you, brat? It's just cancer... it's not like I'm going to kick the can or anything."

"Yuki... this is lung cancer... people die from lung cancer every day... How can you not be worried?"

"Brat, I've been through murder, rape, and daily harassment, not to mention numerous bleeding ulcers. And I live with you. If anything kills me off, it's not going to be some goddamn cancer."

"... Yuki..."

"Heh, liar," Shuichi muttered to himself. Yuki had sounded so nonchalant, so sure of himself then... Shuichi could have sworn that his lover was right, that no stupid cancer would take one of them away.

But it had. It had ripped them apart so cruelly... not even Yuki's smokey voice thickened by years of confidence and his astute promises could beat it.

This, somehow, made Shuichi feel ever more depressed. If even Yuki could be wrong about this... what else was just a lie?

Finally aware that everyone else had exited the graveyard, Shuichi squatted close to the slate of rock that was supposed to serve as a memorial for the novelist.

Sometimes fate closes people off because it doesn't want to share them

Eiri Uesugi was one of those people

He was only loaned to us for a short time

And now fate wants him back

Rest in Peace

"The world wanted him back so they took him from me," whispered Shuichi sadly as he idly played with the dirt. "How is that fair?"

He stood up and stared with melancholy eyes, looking at everything and nothing and ignoring the pounding mental anguish that swept through his body and made him tremble.

"I will be okay one day, Yuki, you liar," Shuichi said to himself quietly, cracking a small, wry grin. "But for now, I have an ocean to cry and maybe some stars to pick. The celery thing may have to wait... but I will be okay, Yuki, I think."

And then the tears came. And the skies wept because they finally had their Eiri back.

owari

Notes: Shuichi calls Eiri "Yuki" so I thought I'd stick with that, even though his real name- the one on the grave- is Eiri Uesugi. And for some reason, Yuki has no suffix when Shu talks to him... or none that I've heard, I think. Also, it was said somewhere, mostly likely in the anime, that Yuki didn't like celery sticks. So that's where our Shu got the whole "getting rid of the celery sticks" thing. :)

Thank my new Beta. Dejichan. And go check out her fic. Later!