Memoirs of a Shinobi, a naruto fanfic

AN: A birthday tribute to the late Itachi Uchiha... This one-shot may be transformed into a short series divided into parts. (We'll see how lazy I feel and how much intrest is shown in this story...)
Also! I would like to give ALL of my friends a shout-out for their loving support and good critizism. Without them, this story would never have become something I was this proud of! I owe you all a HUGE thank you and a LOT of pocky!

Disclaimer:If you actually pay attention to Naruto, you know that Itachi, Sasuke, the rest of the Uchihas, the ANBU, etc are not mine! Kaede, her father, Taiki, Satsukiame, and the story are mine though... MINE!

Please Enjoy, Rate, and Review!

D'you see that dear…? Yes, I mean you. Did you notice it's fall? It's a time where the world looks as if it is ablaze from the colors of the leaves that show their true form, no longer masked by green chlorophyll. The temperature cools despite the fiery colors and things begin to disappear and people aren't seen as often outside of their homes.

But one fine day, on a crisp autumn morning just like any other, I was on duty. I was a member of the ANBU on patrol. Ever since the Uchiha clan had been murdered by one of their own, being shown no mercy, we'd been guarding the entrance to our Village, Konoha, more carefully. After all, we did not want the killer to change his mind and come back for the lone survivor of the attack.

Well, I'm sure you've heard the story before. After all, it isn't every day when the whole of a very prestigious clan is murdered by one of their own, is it? And even more, it was their picture of perfection, Itachi Uchiha, eldest son of Fugaku Uchiha. He was their pride and joy, a prodigy. He graduated the shinobi academy at the age of seven and was the squad leader of his own group of ANBU by thirteen! That was his age, was it not? My, how time blurs the memory…

But, yes, no one saw it coming and word spread like wildfire after his deed was done and the murderer long gone. Yet, you know nothing of what he said to his younger brother? My, just thinking of the words pains me. Imagine, just for a single moment, your older brother, your role model, everything you wanted to be and more, telling you that you aren't worth killing. Yes, those were Itachi's words to Sasuke; he told him plain as day, he wasn't even worth the effort to kill.

And yet the younger boy stands strong. He has vowed to avenge his clan and murder his brother, never letting anything get in his way. He's a force to be reckoned with, and one of the best ninja Konoha has ever seen.

But, that's not why I'm here speaking to you, I'm an old woman now and you young ones never stop by to say a nice 'Hello' to the crazy, grey, wrinkly old woman I've become. Contrary to popular belief, though; I was young once and I knew Itachi Uchiha. Ah, yes, now you're interested. 'The old woman knew the crazy killer…? Why isn't she dead?'

Well, I guess there really isn't a way to really know the great Itachi Uchiha; Strong, cold, powerful, demanding, destructive, critical, and brilliant. He was shrouded with mystery, only drawing me more toward him. I wanted to break through that tough, thorny exterior and see what lay within. For all I knew, it could have been nothing more than an icy cold heart, but… What if it wasn't?

Well, why don't we continue on with my story?

I was fifteen, shockingly young for an ANBU, but my sensei had taken great interest in me and so had my loving father. I grew strong and although I graduated the academy only a couple years earlier, I excelled far more when I trained with those I loved. Soon, I had excelled past my peers and I enjoyed basking in the spotlight of the praise I was given by those impressed with my ability. Soon after the marking my fifteenth year of life, I was recruited to serve as an ANBU. Needless to say I accepted the invitation immediately.

But soon someone had stolen my spotlight, the Uchiha boy, two years younger than I, was also joining the ANBU. I had never been so humiliated in my life. I was a failure.

And I didn't like him as soon as I met him. He was handsome, he had the girls all over him, and he even made me flush when he looked at me! He had it all; there were no flaws that could be seen. Or, so it seemed.

The two of us bickered… Well, I guess you couldn't really say that, it was more me yelling at him and only coming up short by some witty comment that he pulled out of…thin air at the end. He knew just what buttons to push to make me absolutely fume. I swear that there had been smoke rising from my ears when he glided away to let me steam and find someone who appreciated his perfection.

It wasn't long after that he was assigned as captain of our little group. It was just three of us, me, him, and Taiki Ryuunosuke, a nin wo was twenty or so. It came as a shock when the three of us were grouped together, especially with the great Uchiha as the ringleader. There was no way that I was going to follow the orders of a mere child! He was younger than I!

So, on our first assignment when the great, wise ol' Itachi ordered us to stay put and wait, I went ahead and I was nearly killed; if it weren't for a last-minute rescue, I'd be dead. He merely brushed me off, I felt juvenile and did not talk back nor disobey orders he gave for the rest of the mission.

I held guilt within me, if he turned me in, I could be in serious trouble, including my rights to serve as a ninja in Konoha. I had shown immaturity and disrespect toward him and my village.

So, putting my big ego aside, I ventured up the road to the section of town my enemy and leader lived and I asked to see him, "I have an important matter I wish to discuss with Itachi Uchiha." I told his mother who made me feel low and homely; she was as beautiful as he was. She offered an open door for me to venture inside, but I politely declined and told her I'd be more comfortable outside. It would be odd to be in his home.

But before the door closed with reassurance that he'd be there in but a moment, I could've sworn I saw someone small dash behind a corner. "Looks like it'll be sooner than you think…" I whispered to the wind as I paced outside, waiting to be graced with his godly presence.

It struck me as odd that I had never really noticed how close the two of us were to each other…Only a few mere steps away… And now I had come this far, traveled that minuscule distance it took, but I had put no thought into what I would say… How could I let out this feeling of regret and remorse in a way where I wouldn't seem childish and weak hearted?

"Akiatsuto?"

Well, it was too late for that now. I froze, turned around, and faced the pride of the Uchihas. I took a deep, quick breath, swallowed my pride and bowed to the best of my ability, staring at my shoes. "Uchiha-sama."

"You said you had an important matter to discuss with me?" He prodded, disregarding my respect without a care.

I nodded, choking back all sarcasm and wit that was so often used to question authority. "Hai. I-I…" I paused searching for words. "While the matter may not concern you, I cannot begin to express the regret I have toward my behavior a week ago when… Well, you understand what happened, you are not ignorant, and I don't need to explain it to you…"

"I do not understand."

"I… What?" His short statement came as a surprise.

"I don't recall anything that you urgently need to discuss with me."

"But I… I disobeyed your orders and…"

"Really?" He was smirking. Yes, the emotionless Uchiha was smirking. Was he enjoying this…? Oh! Of course! He was being ignorant, making fun of me… Why that little…

'Kaede! Get a hold of yourself!' I scolded my babbling persona mentally.

"Well, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior. You see…"

"You have nothing to apologize for… In fact, I have no idea why you're rambling on about this. I do not recall such an event… If you wanted to talk with me, next time, just say so." And he gave me another smirk and vanished from my sight. But, I could've sworn I saw that little shadow again…

Why that ignorant little… Weasel! How dare he mock me!

I shook my head. I'd done what I had to, whether he thought I was delusional or not. Everything was fine now… I was perfectly okay… I hoped…

Our first mission, while not difficult, had been more than a success, and the three of us stayed together, working as a team and forgetting the age difference between us. We were equal for the most part, but Itachi had the last say in the matter and we treated him with the respect he deserved… But that doesn't mean I didn't still 'bicker' with him when I didn't agree.

I had always been a lonely child, I had no siblings to speak of and my mother had died giving birth to my younger brother. My father and I lost both her and my little brother when I was only three and a half. But Uchiha and Ryuunosuke were kind of like brothers to me, and I a sister to them. We didn't speak much outside of missions, but we'd at least acknowledge another's presence in public. I even passed by the Uchiha clan's property as much as possible so that I just might catch a glimpse of him.

I would always leave on mission with a note for dad on the table explaining my absence for when he got back from a mission of his own. I would feel terribly lonely; I could see Itachi bidding his younger brother goodbye from our kitchen window. Little Sasuke, bright-eyed and questioning when his big brother was around. He adored the boy who overshadowed him so, though he worked hard to be just as great as the sibling he so aspired to be like.

Then I'd leave, locking the door behind me, hiding the key behind a loose brick and meeting Itachi right outside of his house. He always greeted me with a nod and I'd smile and nod back and make a comment about him having two, silent shadows following after him all of the time, only one of them his own. Sasuke would turn red and Itachi would pretend not to know what I'm talking about.

But after a year or so, things became more…solemn. This time Sasuke was not waiting out by the front gate, and Itachi looked all hot and bothered.

"Nii-san? What's the matter?"

"Not now, Akiatsuto… I'm not in the mood."

I stared at him as he flew down the road before running to catch up. "Seriously, you can tell me, what's up?"

"Leave me alone."

I stared at him, but I didn't push. He was that kind of person who's as stubborn as they come; he wasn't going to tell me. At least not right now…

The assignment wasn't all that tough; just to escort some kind of royalty to Rice country. It was cake compared to so many others. I think we had about one good fight the whole time and that was with a robber that we let Itachi handle since he had been the one to volunteer.

We came home soon and I even got to see my dad. He was just headed to the market to grab some food. I gave him the biggest hug and he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him that I didn't know, but I was sure I'd be able to come up with something.

It was July and that particular summer was relentlessly hot, hot enough to make someone quite mad, you might say... And it was just two days before my birthday when I awoke to cries from outside of the house. I dressed quickly and hurried outside to see the yellow caution tape framing the boundaries of the Uchiha property. I hurried across the street and squeezed past the others to see many bodies covered in white cloth. I gasped and colors swam, what was left of my dinner churned in my stomach.

The only thought in my mind before I passed out was 'Are Itachi and Sasuke alive… Please, please let them be okay…'

It wasn't until later when my father filled me in. I didn't cry then, I believe that I didn't think it was real… It was only an illusion. I knew Itachi… He wouldn't…

I slowly gathered the cold, hard facts and I spoke with the younger son of Uchiha Fugaku whenever I saw him. He told me himself that he was going to kill Itachi. I shook my head and made myself hold back the tears and resist the urge to hug the young boy. He looked so much like his brother…

It was a dark time for me then and I only was seen when I was assigned a mission. I refused the title of the leader of a squad until the fall where all I was told to do was keep everyone in line while we patrolled the borders. I kept going over every moment we spent together and I began to see all of the pieces fit. But that didn't mean anything. My best friend was gone and there was no way to get him back now. I've never been so furious at myself for being helpless in my entire life. My only wish was to see him again, and I wished it every moment of my life thereon.

And we're back to the beginning, dear. You see, it was this very day when I was sixteen when I saw him, my best friend, once more. September the 14th. I was on duty, going over everything in my head for the billionth time when all of the sudden, there he was, his arm around my abdomen and a kunai at my throat. Although I probably should have, I didn't resist him as he pulled me away from the others. I was too shocked for such a thing. My mask didn't hide my fear as I stared back at him when he let me go. We were hidden now; no one would find us in this part of the woods, the trees being so thick and all.

"I-Itachi…?" Was that all I could manage to say? It was such a stupid thing to say too, I knew it was him, no one else had his face, his hands, or his voice that filled my ears soon enough.

"Don't speak." There was something different in the way he spoke. Another tone in his voice I'd heard only when he'd spoken to Sasuke. "Just listen for once."

I mimed my promised silence by placing a single finger over the painted mouth of my mask. I swear I saw him restrain the urge to roll his eyes…

Wait…

His eyes… They were different… His sharingan… It was… It was different than before; I could feel a sense of power that was more intense than it usually was. 'Are there different types of Sharingan?' I asked myself. I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from asking.

"Kaede, you must never tell anyone that I was here. You also must never tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

I nodded and he showed me trust by actually moving the kunai away from my throat. He seemed to search for words before he spoke. I sank down onto the parched ground that was longing for a distant storm.

"I never meant to hurt you… So don't look at me that way." He snapped. "You're like family and I wish I could make you family but… My life's not going that way, and there's no going back now." I bit back a smart comment and I looked away from him, hugging my knees. I couldn't be sure about how I felt at the moment. Here was a guy that I cared for deeply and had hurt me, ripping my heart open and now he's telling me he didn't mean it?

I swallowed my words again and I nodded for him to continue.

"Look after my little brother, and take care of yourself; I may drop in and spy on the two of you and I'll know, don't think I won't!"

"I'd never think that…" My voice was quiet and I hardly recognized it myself. He stared at me and studied my mask as if trying to find out if he had the right girl. He slowly reached out with his free hand and pulled the mask off of my face. I saw him relax a moment, just a millisecond, when he recognized me.

I felt vulnerable now, exposed, and naked, if you will. He reached out and traced a scar poking out on my wrist that ran up to meet others on my arm. I jerked away; no one was supposed to see that. We looked up at each other then, his face so close to my own. And I went weak and I slumped against him, I only just now realized the true panic that my mind did not register, though my instincts did. I felt him stiffen; he didn't know what to make of this. He just sat there a moment before he took me by the shoulders and held me up. Then he took me by the chin and looked me straight in the eye; I stared at my toes determinedly. "Kaede," He paused and I looked at him once more. "Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

I slowly began to nod and he sat there a moment just staring at me. I knew what he was thinking, she's weak, and she's a mess… How did she pull off that cocky, big-mouthed act before? How did I think she was stronger than this?

But I was wrong, as usual, and he touched his lips to mine for a brief second before he tried to pull away, thinking I'd go off or something most likely.

But I did the opposite; my arms finally had substance again and they found their way up to his shoulders, his neck, his hair, his face, his arms… I attempted to memorize every detail with my fingertips. The way his muscles moved, the feel of his hands, the soft firm pink lips, his heartbeat against mine…

And all too soon I pulled away. I thought I'd heard something.

"KAEDE!"

I jumped away from him, still holding his hand in mine. "I have to go..." was all I could say, feeling my heart being ripped apart again; it had just begun to scab over, but now the wound was fresh once again and it had deepened. I was torn in two. He nodded and I restrained tears and kicked myself for not realizing how I felt earlier, maybe we could have had longer. Maybe we could have found a way to be together; maybe I could've been the thing that kept him from killing his clan.

And I wondered if I'd ever get the chance to see him again; I knew I'd do anything even for just a fleeting glance of him once more in my pathetic life. I hoped and prayed to every deity I had ever heard of, just to be sure, to let me see him again.

I know the words I speak to you are worth nothing now, but maybe one day you'll understand the thing I regret most; I never said three simple little words: "I love you." These are but the memoirs of an old lady, formerly one of the best and brightest shinobi...I hope they'll save you a painful heartbreak, my dear sweet child. But don't pity me, I want none of that! All I want is for you to remember the words I'm telling you now: don't hide behind a mask, someone is waiting for you to come out of your disguise, all you have to do is pull the string.

Go on now! I've bothered you long enough. No! I don't want a hug you scrawny little maggot! GET OFF MY PORCH!

THE KONOHAGAKURE TIMES

Sunday, September 15

Akiatsuto, Kaede

Today, a great shinobi was lost. Kaede Akiatsuto of Konoha died in her sleep sometime on the night of September the 14th at the ripe old age of 84. The honorable kunoichi lived a long and fulfilling life. Though her mother died in labor during the birth of her stillborn baby brother, she was well taken care of and loved by her father who has long passed. She was considered a brilliant shinobi and earned the rank of ANBU at the age of fifteen. She was great friends with Taiki Ryuunosuke and Itachi Uchiha.

She was a great friend to anyone that needed her and was always ready to pick up and go; she never once turned down a mission, only positions of power. It is believed that these were refused because of the memories she had of her friend who committed the notorious the murder of the infamous Uchiha clan. They were said to be thicker than thieves and she grieved like none other when he left.

She was known for her temper and determination far and wide. But after an almost fatal accident during a mission to capture a reported member of the Akatsuki, she was left unfit to work as a member of ANBU. Even I can remember taunting her as she sat aging, on her front porch for forty years. It is believed that this drove the woman mad, but the other day, the day just before she died in fact, she told me a story, a story of brothers, love, betrayal and secrets that sound like something from a fairy's tale…

I was assured that Kaede passed on in peace. She will be cremated and her ashes buried under an old oak tree near the edge of Konoha. It is an anticlimactic end to this woman that was so full of promise, hopes, and dreams, but it was an easy one. May her strong spirit rest in peace and find the one she has been waiting for all these years.

AN: Remeber to rate and review! I hope you'll tell me exactly what I did wrong. I know this story could be refined, but I feel that I need outside help for that to happen. Thanks for reading!

Aishiteru,