What Really Happened in Full Metal Alchemist
Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, I just like writing parodies
Chapter 1: How Envy Died
It was a typical morning at Dante's mansion, young Envy (whose human name was lost to History) was annoying the living hell out of his mother and father. Envy was jumping up and down on his bed, eating pure sugar and singing in a high pitched girly voice. Downstairs Hoenheim was reading a book; the noise didn't bother him anymore because of his new pair of earplugs. Dante, on the other hand, didn't even think about transmuting herself a pair (what a dummy).
"Hoenheim this is the last straw, either you do something about it or I will," said Dante.
"Whatever you say dear," He continued to read his book, since he didn't hear her.
Dante was infuriated; she hated having to deal with this kind of nonsense. But she knew what had to be done; so she knocked on her son's door.
"Envy would you mind keeping it down?"
"Screw off old hag"
"That's no way to talk to your mother!"
"Kiss my ass prune"
"That's it: She reached for the nearest object and threw it at her son's head, then in a matter of minutes, Envy dropped to the floor, dead as a doornail. She had thrown a mercury thermometer at her son's head, the liquid metal was absorbed into his skin, and he died from the toxin.
She slowly covered her mouth, "What have I done," she asked herself just as Hoenheim entered the room.
"Oh my God you killed Envy, you crazy bitch, that does it, I'm leaving you."
And that is how Envy was killed from Mercury poisoning and why Hoenheim left Dante….
(This was my first story that I submitted, there will be more to come, hope you like)