Well, here I go. I read a lot of fic, and this story has been running in my head for a while. Before we get to it, there are a few people I want to say thanks to. If you like the story, you may want to thank them too! I never would've done this without them.

My good friend sandyk199, you'll always be my sis! Thanks for the inspiration. Lalina and coldplaywhore, you both were and are so patient and kind answering my million questions and encouraging me when I wasn't sure. MusicJunkie, my Dawnie, I love you so!

A line to herself is my smut partner in crime, the ever wonderful and always ready to go ARenee363. Kisses and spanks to you dear!

One last one, my beta, and biggest cheerleader, nicnicd. Nic my lovely, I really wouldn't have gotten here without you. Really.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program, which is mine, the characters and all that jazz, sadly, belongs not to me, but the lovely Stephenie!

Chapter One

Stepping out of Macy's onto the sidewalk, I paused to pull my sunglasses off my head and over my eyes. The sun had finally made an appearance today, brightening my mood that was severely lowered by a particularly stubborn client.

Meandering amongst the tourists, I stopped to peer at a store's display. Window shopping along the Magnificent Mile never failed to raise my spirits. I'd never regretted the decision to stay in Chicago after graduating from Northwestern. If the client base I'd worked hard to build over the years here weren't already plentiful, the stores would have been reason enough for me to stay.

Swinging off of Michigan Avenue heading towards my office, I sighed at the thought of spending another couple of hours at work.

Alone, again…

My ears perked up at the familiar ringtone blaring out of my Balenciaga work bag. Cursing at myself as I dug frantically for the phone, I was reminded of the promise I'd made to myself not to drop my precious blackberry into the bottomless abyss of my bag.

"Ah-HA!" I shouted to no one. Looking down at the screen, I frowned as the number came up unknown. "Alice Brandon," I chirped happily into the phone. 'Happy, happy, happy' is the mantra of my business after all…

"Alice, this is Esme Cullen" said a soft, cultured voice, "I received your name through Rosalie Hale."

I blinked in surprise. "Oh Rose! I love her designs. Any friend of Rose's is a friend of mine. What can I do for you?" I asked excitedly. I loved when Rose referred clients to me. She always gave me a discount; a sort of celebration, if you will… I always liked to celebrate after yet another one of my successes.

You see … I never fail.

"Rosalie has told me about your life coaching, and I think you sound perfect for two people I know." She explained in a kind tone. "I should warn you though… you may have your work cut out for you."

This sounded exactly like my kind of challenge.

Eager for more details now, I launched right in. "Well, Mrs. Cullen-"

"Oh please, call me Esme,." She interrupted softly in a kind voice. Normally this would set my teeth on edge, but she was so polite, I let it slide… this time.

"Esme it is then. So what can you tell me about these two lovely people?"

"Perhaps this is something best done in person, would you be available to meet me for lunch tomorrow?"

Well, shoot. There went my lunchtime mani/pedi, but this sounded too good to resist…

"How does one o'clock sound to you?" I replied, mentally shifting things around in my head. My assistant would be pissed that I was rearranging so many things, but I had a feeling that this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

"One o'clock sounds perfect. Is Wildfire Grill okay with you?"

"Wildfire Grill at one it is then. I'm looking forward to it Esme, I'll see you there. Ciao!" I hung up, and walked down the street with a new spring in my step. I hope this is as fun as it sounds. I opened my phone again, dialing my assistant. "Jess, I've got a new client alert! This one sounds like a priority, so can you reschedule my afternoon tomorrow? I'll be in a meeting."

"Alice, you're supposed to be there for Victoria's final dress fitting to make sure she doesn't try to alter it again!"

Crap! I had forgotten about Victoria's desire to display all of her assets. Victoria came to me two months ago with a single goal: To catch a man. I personally thought the concept of 'catching a man' was a bit archaic, not to mention rude to the guy in question, but I wasn't being paid for my opinion.

As a life coach, my job was to encourage and assist people in achieving their goals. Unfortunately, Victoria wasn't the first client to come to me with the goal of catching a man. But she was the only one that wouldn't let me help her the right way. I'm glad her time with me was almost up; I just had to see it through to the banquet she was attending this weekend.

It wasn't that I minded helping a woman attract a man. But the way I enjoyed doing that was by helping them see how great they are on their own. Once they felt good about themselves, everything else just fell naturally into place. Many of my clients came to me with one simple goal, but left with their lives profoundly changed.

"Just go in my place. Angela at the shop knows how I want the dress to look. She can help you if need be. I trust you can handle Victoria without her melting down completely. If you have any problems, call me. I really want to take this meeting tomorrow, it sounds important."

Okay, so I stretched the truth a little. What Jess didn't know wouldn't hurt her…

"Besides, if you can handle Victoria, I may start letting you take on clients yourself."

Jess had been my right hand woman since I started my little business, Futures, three years ago. I started out in college, giving the girls in my dorm makeovers on the outside, before I realized that their insides needed just as much work. They didn't dress to flatter themselves; they just didn't think they were worth it.

That's where I came in.

I started out with making small changes to their outside appearances, while showing them what a great person they were on the inside. It came so naturally to me that it just made sense to make it my career. Since then I've improved the images of both men and women alike. The feeling of satisfaction I receive when a client looks at his or herself with pride for the first time can't be compared. It's better than sex! I wish that weren't true, but I can't lie...

So it had been a while since I'd had amazing sex... At least I had my career.

Okay, okay… Even I don't buy that.

"Oh Alice, do you really mean it?" Jess gushed into the phone, interrupting my thoughts.

"Of course I do. You've been with me for so long, how could I not see your potential? This does mean that you'll have to recruit a new you though." I sighed at the thought of breaking in a new person. I liked it just being the two of us. Lately however, I'd found too much work and not enough Alice to go around. Still… promoting Jessica would be a smart move.

"I won't let you down Alice, I promise!" She said, sounding so happy that it made me smile in return. "I'll send your revised schedule to your blackberry when I'm done making the necessary calls."

"Thanks Jess, you really are the best. When you've finished, go on home for the day. I've got to get home and prepare for my hot date!" Suddenly, the thought of heading to my empty office didn't sound quite as appealing as it had before. I couldn't bear the thought of another night spent in my office.

"Go get 'em Tiger!" Jess teased, and then hung up.

If she only knew my date was with Ben & Jerry along with Dr. Gregory House. Men just never understood that I was trying to help them, not insult them.

Oh well, yummy Dr. House, here I come.

BPOV

"Esme, are you sure I need a life coach? Was my last book tour that bad?" I asked halfheartedly, attempting to weasel my way out of this. "I'll do anything to get out of this," I whined.

"Bella, you don't know how wonderful you are. You know how upset you were after you clammed up on TV last time, so why not be better prepared? After what happened, you wouldn't do any more press… You even missed the publishing houses' annual charity gala. Carlisle and I both agree that seeing this life coach is exactly what you need before this tour."

Great. Now she's dragged the owner of the publishing house into it. Never mind that he's her husband, he's the final destination on the 'I don't wanna' train', and apparently I got off at the wrong stop.

"Fine, I'll meet her. What's her name again?" I sighed, resigned to the fact that I wouldn't be able to talk her out of this.

Maybe she had a point; maybe my image could use some updating…

Never having been someone who was often stopped on the street by adoring fans, as my first few books had been published without a photo of the author included, I was… unprepared for the recent onslaught of publicity.

Back then, not many people believed that a woman could write a male character so convincingly. It was a very sexist line of thinking, but my book sales had proven everybody wrong. It had taken someone like Esme to take a chance on me, Isabella Swan, and help create the pseudonym of M. Dwyer; the name had protected me from the fear of public failure, and projected a more masculine author to would-be buyers.

Moving from Forks to Chicago had been one hell of a culture shock. I'd gone from a small fish in a puddle to a tiny fish in the ocean. I used to wake up in a cold sweat worried that if I died, no one would find me until the smell reached my neighbor. Now, thanks to Esme and M. Dwyer, I had a great apartment in Hyde Park with neighbors I knew and loved, as well as an editor who was like the mom I'd always wanted. Not that I didn't have a mom, but Renee and I just never got along like a mother and daughter should. Too often I played the mom, while Renee ran off like a teenager.

I tuned back into the conversation, picking back up on Esme's current line of conversation.

"Her name is Alice Brandon, and I'm meeting her tomorrow for lunch. I have the feeling she's just what you need," she said, trying to help me feel better about handing myself to a stranger for a makeover. "I'll give her the details of what we need to accomplish, and have her call you to set up the initial appointment. Oh, and Bella… you can't use the excuse that your muse made you lose track of time. I won't buy it for a minute!"

Crap, foiled again! "But Esme, you know darn well that when Johnny whispers into my ear, I have no choice but to listen," I wheedled.

"Sorry dear, it won't work. You tell that Mr. Depp you're off improving yourself so he'll want you in real life, not just in your dreams." Esme's voice sounded amused. She thought it was funny that my muse was a hot actor that whispered my character's thoughts into my ears. Hey, it's how I make a living. Don't knock it until you try it.

"Just make sure you give this a chance Bella," she continued. "This tour could be a huge boost to your career. Keep that in mind. Oh, and this will certainly help you catch a man. As a matter of fact, I know this great-"

"Sorry Esme, you're breaking up… I'm going in a tunnel… Gotta go!" I hung the phone up quickly, desperate to end the conversation.

If there was one thing Esme was focused on besides my career, it was my social life… Well, technically, my lack thereof. It's not that I didn't want to find someone. I just couldn't seem to relax enough to talk to… well, anyone.

It wasn't for lack of trying, because I did try. I would go on a date with a seemingly nice guy, but without anything to say, I just sat there and stared at him, like some sort of mime. I felt my cheeks heating up at the memory of those men looking at me like a sideshow freak. Eventually I gave up on dating, even more determined to have a great career instead. I was happy with my decision…

Well, almost.

Just like Princess Leia had her Han Solo, I wanted to find my guy. One that makes me feel; I wanted to feel the joy, the passion, the pleasure… and yes, even the pain. Sighing, I picked up the phone to order some Chinese for dinner.

I want my Han Solo damn it. What do I have to do to find him?