Confessions

Disclaimer - I don't own anything, and have no money. :D I just play with them. I'll put them back, I promise!

Chapter 1 - Life with Ducky

Dr. Donald Mallard, ME, was completing an autopsy on a young male lieutenant, but his mind wasn't at the autopsy table. He had just returned from talking to young Abigail, and had several long-standing thoughts on his mind instead.

"If you ever have a chance to meet my little lotus blossom, Lieutenant," Ducky engaged the corpse under him in his reverie. "I most recommend the acquaintance." He looked down at the body and sighed. "Keep your willie tucked, man," he muttered to himself. "She barely kens you're here, not like that, anyway."

"Ducky?" Abby was standing just inside the lab with an evidence bag.

Dr. Mallard jumped and knocked over his tool kit. It hit the floor with a terrific crash. "Oh!" he exclaimed, with a furious blush rising on his cheeks. Here was his lotus blossom in person. How much had she heard of his insane mutterings? He bent down and began to pick up each instrument so as to conceal any coloring left on his cheeks.

"Abigail, you gave me quite the fright! How long have you been standing there?" He tried to say lightly.

"Long enough to know something's wrong." She bent down to help him. "Ducky, is everything ok? Do you need to talk?" She had only caught the last few sentences, and that just barely, as they were muttered under his breath. But she had heard the pain in his voice, and how rare was it that he lapsed into the accent of his youth? Ducky was her special charge. She knew he would never consider her as possible dating material, but she would do anything for the man.

He reached over and patted her hand. "Of course, my dear. Nothing that someone young and beautiful needs to worry yourself about. Now why don't you go and find Mr. Palmer – he's probably dawdling upstairs after lunch – and tell him I'll need him to sterilize these again."

She tried to push herself up, knowing she had been dismissed. But tears came to her eyes before she turn away. How could he just brush her aside? Would he never think of her as a friend and colleague first and her age second? Ducky watched in amazement as tears spilled down her cheeks.

She spinned away and rushed for the door, brushing away the tears that refused to stop.

"Abby!" Ducky called out, almost accusingly in his confusion. She stopped before the door.

"Abby, what is it? Did I say something? Whatever is the matter, my dear?" She heard the anguish in his voice over seeing her tears, which only made the tears fall faster. He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and attempted to brush them away on Abby's now mascara-streaked face.

"I can't do it anymore! I can't!" she wailed as she took his handkerchief. "I've tried, oh, how I've tried, but I just can't anymore!" She sounded nearly hysterical.

Ducky was still in the dark. "Abigail, what is it? What could make you this unhappy? Come over here and sit down and tell me about it."

"No. I'll never be able to say this sitting." She turned and faced him, bracing herself, building up all of her strength to say the impossible. She looked straight into his brilliant blue eyes, the ones that changed from baby blue to dark navy when he was angry, or saw an injustice. Like an ocean, they made her feel like she was drowning. That made things easier. You always gave a confession before dying, right?

"I love you. I've loved you for years. And it's not a passing fancy or anything else you like to say about "young people." I thought over time you'd get past the age difference and see just me, but you won't will you?" Anquish and anger crossed her face, leaving Ducky speachless.

He stared at her, not believing his ears. "Abby, I –"

Abby continued with the confession of her soul. "You've told me before that you think of me as a colleague, but it's not true, because you don't think we're equals. I thought after McGee and I broke it off you'd say something, anything, to let me know…I was willing to make the first move even, if only I knew you wouldn't just laugh. God, I only dated McGee to make you jealous!" She covered her eyes with her hands, trying not to remember.

Ducky was stunned silent, too afraid of saying the wrong thing to comfort the beautiful creature in front of him. How could he have missed her unhappiness? His lotus blossom? Was he that biased? No, he had simply been so certain that no such creature could ever have any interest in him that he had missed the obvious fact that she was. What should he say? Honesty, he thought. It was always the best policy.

"It worked," he said roughly, putting his hand up to her cheek. His throat was dry, refusing to let him say anthing that didn't crack with emotion. "You don't recall how sharp I was to young Timothy during that time?"

Abby wiped her eyes with the handkerchief again, confused. "I thought you were being protective, like a father."

"Protective, yes, but not like a father, no." He lifted her chin and looked into her black, sparkling eyes. "Oh, my dear, I had no idea how unhappy you were. Perhaps I've not been observant enough."

He let her see the desire in his eyes for the first time. "It took me a long time to accept that my feelings were…inappropriate. That may have blinded me. It simply hurt too much."

The pained look on his face was too much for Abby.

"Then why, Ducky?" she nearly wailed. "Why not tell me how you felt?"

"Oh, my dear, can you not guess for yourself?" Ducky's voice was almost hoarse with strain. "It had to come from you. You had to be so sure of what you felt; it had to be so desperately important that you would have to say it no matter what the consequences."

He took a deep breath. "Whether I felt the same or not." He made a jester of finality with his hands. "I could not accept anything less, not and be true to our friendship. You are so kind, my dear, that if you knew my heart you would consider giving me what I wanted out of that friendship. And I was unwilling to take your pity."

"Oh, no, Ducky, I would never–" She cut herself off, thinking it through. "You're right. I would be willing to do that for you, if I knew that's what you wanted." She drew a deep breath.

"But that's not what this is," she said quietly, her eyes to the floor.

"No, I know that now," he whispered.

He leaned towards her. Her cheek brushed his. Her breath, suddenly fast and shallow, made his heart race. He kissed her lips gently. They were soft and full. Her mouth opened to his, and he explored it with his tongue. His heart pounded in his chest. This is what heaven is like, a thought went through Ducky's mind.

It was the quietist, gentlest kiss she had ever experienced, and yet Abby's skin felt like it was on fire, tingling all the way down to her toes. She found his tongue with her own, and let him teach her how to kiss. She should have known Ducky would be a good kisser, she grinned inwardly.

Ducky heard the lab door swish open, and then open again, as Mr. Palmer obviously came in and backed out quickly. Ducky was unwilling to interrupt this first kiss for something so mundane. Everyone would know soon enough.

"My dear, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Ducky said quietly, pulling away gently, telling Abby his true feelings about how many times he had imagined taking her into his arms.

Abby felt shy all the sudden. This was real. God had answered her prayer. Could she handle it? "Will you tell Gibbs or should I?" she asked. "Do you think he'll be OK with it?"

"I will take care of Jethro," Ducky said simply. He kissed her again, and took his time about it. Their lips parted only when they both realized that any more was going to get both in trouble with whomever came down next.

Abby was breathing hard. It had all happened so fast, something she had thought would never happen at all. What would Gibbs think? And Tim? Her mind raced wildly. She hadn't meant to hurt him.

"They will wish us nothing but happiness, I should think," Ducky said, interpreting the confused and worried look on her face.

"However, I suggest we take this very slowly. Jethro will have my hide if I was to ever hurt you." And to give you time to think this through, Ducky added silently to himself.

A grin formed on her tear-streaked face. "Yea, he'll probably set down rules for dating like "Kissing only!"

"We just might have to abide by that rule until our wedding night," Ducky agreed, and then blushed to the roots of his hair as he realized what he had just implied.

And then he stood his ground and stared her straight in the eye. It would not be long.

Abby grinned again, looking deep into Ducky's brilliant blue eyes.

Ducky kissed her quickly on the cheek this time, content. "Why don't you go on home now so you'll be ready for dinner at seven? There's a little Indian restaurant that I think you will rather like."

"Ok," Abby acquiesced. She was bouncing with joy. Life with Ducky was going to be easy.