Ryuku: So here today with me is Light Yugami and he's going to tell us about his "Guide to gettin the girl/guy that you want" So Kira -cough- I mean Light tell us a little about it.
Light: Well Ryuku because this sounds like a tv show setting that we're doing I'm going to start with the first chapter aka most of the book.
Ryuku: Please do, ladies and gentlemen Here is the first chapter aka most of the book with Light Yugami.
How to get the Girl/Guy that you want....by Light Yugami
Ok first off study law....yeah yeah I know boring huh well tough deal with it. Then hack into your local police station network using idk a proxy filter or whatever. Then review all the cases of evil bad meanie criminals....What's this you say they've been let off the hook o.o damn them all to heck etc.
Open a recent case and find the details of the "bad guy" and go to his usual haunt. Stand at the bar and listen to them... ooops you've just been caught :o ok stand there and take the ridicule now remember don't wet yourself when the knife comes towards you it took a lot of concentration for me not to.
Then grab your bag after their finished and run like your life depends on it coz at some point it will. Ok it has to be raining outside so you can't do this on a dry day. You've ran a fair distance now and no their not following you for all those paranoid people out there. Pretend your really upset now...c'mon you can do better than that....there ya go you got the tears down fine. Ok look around and see the big pile of rubbish, yes that big one right in front of you that's it ok chuck a book or something into it, does't have to be a book it could be a tissue? or maybe a walrus depends on your mood really. Now run a few steps well walk or run it's your preference and oh my what's this it's a little black book (no it doesn't contain hot chicks or guys numbers it's not that kind of a black book) in a dry spot on the floor, I know I know your prolly going what the hell but bare with me on this. congratulations you have just found the DeathNote and oh look here comes your shinigami. Step one complete. Now seeing as the law system failed ever so nicely your going to take the law into your own hands, yes I know big responsibility especialy with school and everything but remember this is not in vain as I will explain later.
Step 2: now you've started learning how to use it, well done have a cookie. ok you've been using this for idk a month now, you are now a seasoned user of the DeathNote book, oh and yes you have a sarcastic shinigami sorry should've told you earlier but it's more fun if you find out yourself oh and please feed him/her apples they get grouchy if you don't. Ok now you've realised your best friend loves you buuuuut you also have a new enemy who wants you out of the picture, don't worry you can deal with him/her later. Ok you've been found after going to the studios etc a famous person has fallen for you and your evil ways I mean good ways yes their all good because you're helping people -shifty eyes-. Ok the point I'm trying to make here is the more people you kill the more people want you, oh and you have to kill your best friend the one that's in love with you coz they'll just ruin all your plans for world peace etc. Ok their dead you got followers you now have chicks/guys throwing themselves at your feet, feels pretty good huh. Anyways yeah that's how it's done wanna go from loser to mega killer with smexy people wanting you and declaring their love for you then just kill...that's it nothing else really well obviously apart from the first chapter etc.
Congratulations you have now got the guy/girl you want after all who can resist a mass murderer killing in the name of justice? and now for all those who aren't as smart as me which will porbably be everyone, I'm going to give you a simple step guide.
Step 1. Get the DeathNote book.
Step 2. Use the DeathNote book.
Step 3. become famous for killing "bad guys".
Step 4. you now have followers take your pick.
Step 5. Well thers is no step 5 your now sorted.
Ryuku: well there you have it ladies and gents the way to get the hot guy/girl you want plus a shinigami and a hot enemy.
Light: I wouldn't say he's hot I'm way hotter than him
Ryuku: yeah sure Light keep telling yourself that, thank you for tuning in maybe next time we'll have a more interesting guest.
A/N: yeah I know weird but meh I dunno if anyone else has done this before for Light but yeah.