Kate: Hello, there. I've returned with another odd coupling work. It is Shrieking Shack x Hogwarts Castle (if you've read the summary you should know this…). If you've clicked here on an impulse, good luck. If you've clicked here because you want some fun, good on you. If you've clicked here because you like the coupling, 0o.
The Castle and I
Princesses have been known to fall for a merchant. Duchesses have been known to go crazy for a peasant. Countesses have been known to get a crush on a gypsy.
But never has anyone heard of a Great Castle falling for a shack.
Even if I am the most haunted shack in Britain.
And that puts me through agony every day. How could I ever expect a relationship with the Castle?
For one, the Castle is gorgeous (I suppose that because you're a person, you don't understand building beauty. But the Castle is like the Angelina Jolie of the building world.) and I am completely unattractive (a bit like the Tom Cruise of the building world).
Secondly, not only am I unattractive, I have a bad reputation. People don't even come near me (maybe it's because of my extreme ugliness). I'm called a 'Shrieking' shack (maybe because I can't sing well?). I can't really help that a werewolf used to make strange noises about twenty years ago. Just because that bastard of a Headmaster decided to use me like that doesn't mean I should have to wallow in the pity of never finding a nice lady building.
Thirdly, that blasted flirt, Hagrid's Hut, seems to have been spending a lot more time with the Castle than I can handle. The Castle would surely rather to date a hut than a lowly shack. Not to mention the fact that the Castle and the Hut are in very close proximity. I'm not even on Hogwart's grounds, I can't even see my beloved if it's a foggy day. I'm sure that the Hut can just gaze at the Castle's breathtaking towers and awe-inspiring windows without even having to crane his neck (or a hut's equivalent of a neck, which I'm not completely sure exists).
And lastly, I'm too shy. I have no personality. All I have going for me is the fact that I've got a bit of a mysterious air about me. But the Castle is far too upper class to worry about such a trivial personality trait. The Castle has probably never looked once at me (and even if she looked once, she certainly didn't look twice).
And so, like any shack with realistic ideas, I'm resigned to the fact that I'll never find love.
Ever.
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Kate: Hahaha. Ok, this is going to be a chapter fic. There'll probably be about 2 more chapters. The Castle and the Shack will end up together, don't worry. -
And don't forget to check out all the other 'YouCan'tBeSerious' stories (featuring couples you never thought anyone would be game enough to write!).