Madness
The smoke settles, glass and debris has seemed to be multiplied in a science fiction kind of way. The bodies that lay around are that of a horrible horror film. All the bloody guts and glory of Hollywood isn't here. This is what actual war looks like and it looks like madness. But this is where I am best of the best, and in such a high demand. Why else would I be here as the only living thing in miles of wasteland? Surveying the destruction I brought upon by the appointed powers that be because of some reason or other, drug king pin, terrorist, human trafficking. The list of these creatures are endless and my own jurisprudence of bring these creatures to their day of reckoning is beyond measure.
The toil this madness has taken has been darkness in my soul. Oh I am quite functional. I can strategize and execute all under the darkness that the years of training and execution has made possible. I have used these skills in my business life too making Rangeman into thriving security firm in 4 different but distinctive cities. But the destruction I am able to unleash has made me unsuitable for any type of typical stereotypical society relationships the white picket fences, the little house, the little misses with our 2.5 kids to add to the society of sheep.
Yep that's what I see when I look at the masses of peoples freedom that I am ensuring with these missions. They are sheep, living their lives to just maintain what they have with out trying to make a difference in all of the chaos and evil that have deemed me necessary. Their constant trying to one up the other sheep by buying the latest and greatest crap that is being stuffed down their throats by the corporate greed is nauseating, more than the scene that has unraveled around me. I am getting tired of all the crap that has been this life. It's all crap, the evils that have made me necessary by blind society. It is rare that something or someone makes an impact on my life. But damn did a blue eyed curly hair brunette from the 'Burg make that impact. And with ever centimeter of light that she has brought back into my life do I realize that I can't give her that kind of existence. So I push. I push her back to the cop; I push myself back into the madness.
I am so damn tired of the push when all I feel is the need to pull her to me. She thinks there is nothing special about her. But Dios do I disagree, everything about her is special, crazy curly hair, bright expressionative eyes, brightest smile, comforting arms, sexy little ass, long sculpted legs. And that is just her outer appearance, what is on the inside is even more incredible. She has a warmth and kindness that envelopes a person, she has instincts that rival my own, her inner sex kitten just begs me to take her and make her mine. And I did once, well many times that one night. Oh how I long to make her mine for all time. But I can't bring her into my darkness, even though I love her.
The fights, yea I know they really aren't out loud or physical fights but more emotional fights. I am fighting against myself for what I want, hell what I need. I love her, I need her. She is fighting against her own self doubt and her own desire to have me, and all that will entail. Because if it ever came to be, it would be all consuming in a soul mate till the end of time kind of way. How can that be wrong? How can we stop ourselves from being?
But will she have me now? I may have told her 'someday' but will she ever take me after I have pushed her away? How will I ever be if she doesn't want me in return? Oh I know she wants me, but what if she doesn't take me as hers after pushing her away for so long? Damn! No I will not allow that to happen, she has to know how we are meant for each other. I wont give doubt a chance, if she isn't willing or if she is with that fucking cop I will win her with everything I have in me because it's all hers, whether she admits it or not. Now that I realize that she is mine and I am hers no matter what I wont let anything or one get in the way of us being together.
Because I love her, I need her and once she realizes I'm done holding back and I wont let her own stubbornness (or denial land) derail us we can start our own madness together, my Babe and me.
A/N: Janet owns them and Muse opened the path for them to follow. I was just the device that brought them together.
P.S. I know it's been awhile but my own muse is back and with the graciousness of the Time Gods I hope to continue on Frenzy and Self-Pity. Sentinel will still be re-written, but I make no promises of when that will happen only the promise that they will ALL be finshed.
Author's RANT!
I just received a PM from CATSPATS31 stating that I copied the lyrics from and that I was in violation of Content Guidelines if I didn't correct this I would be reported. On his/her profile page this person stated that accounts would be closed for violations and that he/she was a member of some group that looks for violators. I am going to respond back to this person but would like to make a few of my own points with in this story.
I took the lyrics down because I am determined to finish my stories! If I wasn't so determined I would close up shop here and go find a different outlet for my writing. But please be assured I will go elsewhere if there are further issues here, because I do this for my and hopefully the readers enjoyment!
I did NOT copy the lyrics! I listened to the song REPEATLY and typed them out, which is how I got the inspiration to write this after being on about a 4 month writers block. And this song plaguing my creativity for about 6 months.
I gave the band credit in both the beginning of this chapter and within my author's note.
I do NOT make any money out of writing this so there for I am not taking any money from the band or writer from my inspiration. And while I don't think I am the bees knees of the literary world there maybe a chance that this story will make someone somewhere buy the song or buy the book which would go into the appropriate people's pocket. NOT MINE!
The person who has an issue with my story doesn't have any stories written on this site, which makes me think if you haven't written a story here, you don't know where and how I got my INSPRIATION! SO BACK OFF!
This is for ENTERTAINMENT! And the Internet is one huge bucket of plagiarism! So good luck 'monitoring' all of that!
None of the favorite stories of this individual were with the Janet Evanovich world, they were mostly cartoons. I myself like to read a few different categories so I understand diversifying but if you don't favorite any of the stories from the categories you are 'monitoring' then don't monitor them!
With all of the advertising banners I am going to assume that is how the owners of this domain make any money off of it. Since the people come here to share their stories with one another if you run off author's because of crap like this then who is going to look at all of those advertising banners because there are no stories on the site?