Never let It Be Said

I must admit that there are times when you humans amaze me. Not that I would ever admit it to anyone. I do have my pride. As a vampire, I can remember what I saw and felt in every second of the last 400+ years. Yet you with your half senses and all too brief lives somehow seem to find a faith we can never have. For all we can do we can never match the power of that faith and sometimes, rarely very rarely, that faith can alter destinies, move mountains and change the course of lives. It certainly changed mine.

It had been a particularly dull day. I was just about to partake of the freshie du jour when Blondie walked in, that determined expression firmly on her face. As usual, she was oblivious to the chaos streaming in her wake. Yes, I know her name is Beth but I prefer to call her Blondie. It helps to remind me why relationships between humans and vampires aren't a good idea.

"Josef, I need to talk to you." Once again, she had managed to get past my entire staff. When I said I didn't want to be disturbed I meant it. But for some reason my staff seem to think there were exceptions most notably Mick. Whether it was out of respect or simply fear of him, my staff thought that included Blondie. Obviously, I needed to have a long talk with them.

"And a happy hello to you too, Blondie." I shot back sarcastically. No doubt Mick would be calling by the end of the day to verbally rip me a new one for my rudeness but right now I could care less. The anniversary was only days away and I was in no mood to play the cordial host. Begrudgingly, I asked my dinner companion to wait outside.

Whoever said time heals all wounds was definitely not a vampire. He was also an asshole. In three days it would be the anniversary of the worst day of my life and the wounds were still as fresh as the day I lost her. So it's not surprising I was hardly feeling genial.

"This is serious."

"It always is. What's the matter? Mick won't give you a Hickey to make all your girlfriends jealous at the big dance Saturday?" The moment the words were out, I regretted them. Blondie's eyes held a look of profound hurt that made me feel like I kicked a puppy. To her credit, she didn't reply in kind. But what she said next brought me up short and shifted things to a whole new level.

"Josef, I came here to ask you to let me see Sarah's diary." The words were soft but they had the impact of a gut punch. She must've realized how what she asked affected me because she said no more, just simply waited.

If anyone else had so much as mentioned her name to me right now I would've probably torn their head off. Yet I knew I couldn't hurt this little china doll. Harming so much as one of her lovely golden tresses was one of the few things Mick would never forgive me for despite of our years of friendship. Besides I might've been hurting, but I wasn't suicidal.

Without making any further comment, I went to the safe hidden in my desk and opened it. It suddenly occurred to me that she must've known I always kept the book close. I found that bit of information more than a little disconcerting.

Carefully I removed the small journal from its protective wrappings. It may have only been a diary but to me it was more precious than a Gutenberg Bible. Fortunately Blondie understood how much it meant and treated it with equal care. After flipping through a couple of pages, she paused at one entry dated about a week before that terrible day.

To my confusion, her face actually lit up and something she found there made her smile. "I knew it! I knew I had seen that word before! I don't know why it stuck in my mind but it did and after I talked to Mr. Abernathy, the retired doctor that lives in my building, it all started to make sense."

By now the emotions coming off her had me ready to vamp out. I hadn't fed yet this evening and the atmosphere was rapidly becoming electric with the scent of her excitement. "I think you'd better tell me what this is about, Beth." My patience and self-control were dangerously thin.

"I think I may know what happened with Sarah." Her voice rang with conviction but I could only stand there dumbfounded as my insides twisted into knots at gut punch number two. She definitely had my attention.

The next few minutes bordered on the absurd as I struggled to take in what Beth had to say. Yes, she was no longer Blondie because this little slip of a human had solved the mystery that I, the great Joseph Kostan couldn't; the reason why Sarah was still asleep. I have read the diary a thousand times, each word indelibly printed in my memory. But that one little word, the one the mystery hinged upon had escaped me. After all, I was a vampire and we don't get sick.

Beth however was wonderfully human. Until that exact moment I don't really think I appreciated what an impact that could have. She'd only read Sarah's journal once. Yet when she saw the word again she instantly recognized it. It only took her a few of her endless questions to realize the significance.

I knew silver was used in medications of course. It had been for centuries. The idea that Sarah might have had any in her system when I tried to turn her simply never occurred to me. But, there it was in Sarah's own hand. I'd known she had a cold the week before. We even joked about how she'd never need to visit her family Dr. again. As an only child of wealthy parents, Sarah had been dragged to see him every time she so much as sneezed.

It was during that last visit that it happened. The Dr. prescribed a throat rinse laced with microscopic traces of silver as an antiseptic. Part of me wanted to reason that surely I would've tasted the traces in her blood, but if the amounts were indeed that small perhaps they escaped my notice. Silver is of course poisonous to vampires so there would have been after effects. My mind raced back to those dark days that followed. I wandered New York aimlessly, unable to feed and filled with rage and self-loathing.

At the time I put my condition down to grief but was it possible that the silver traces played a part? I only emerged from that living hell when confronted by three men intent on what they thought was an easy mark. Suddenly my hunger and rage coalesced and I released both on the trio in front of me. The poor bastards never stood a chance.

With some surprise, I looked up and remembered I wasn't alone. I was so lost in thought I missed part of the conversation.

"... Really sorry to have disturbed you, Joseph; coming here like this wasn't such a good idea after all. I honestly thought I was on to something."

She was apologizing. It was then I realized she must've mistaken my silence for rebuke. I decided not to correct her impression. Right now my mind was reeling and I needed to be alone to think.

"I guess when Mr. Abernathy told me about how some people needed a transfusion after getting too much of that medicine when it built up in their system I thought it might help Sarah somehow. The notion of transfusing of vampire with more vampire blood is pretty ridiculous when you think about it."

And that was number three. How had I ever thought of this woman as defenseless? In the span of less than an hour she'd manage to land three emotional blows on me that would have done Joe Frazier proud. In all my pondering and agonizing over Sarah and how to cure her, I'd never considered a solution so simple and direct. She rose to take her leave of me and I let her go, promising not to speak of her visit. Keeping secrets from Mick was becoming quite the habit for the two of us. I did insist, though, upon sending her home in the limo. Never let it be said Josef Kostan wasn't a gentleman. I could have seen her home myself but right now I had a private jet to catch. If I hurried, I could be in New York for breakfast.

I didn't catch up with my favorite couple until a week later. I'd spoken to Mick, of course, and he'd been his usual brooding self. As it turned out, the lovely Ms. Turner was moping no doubt due to her inability to resolve my problem with Sarah. In typical St. John fashion, her man waited and watched, hoping his beloved would eventually confess her inner turmoil. Heaven forbid the poor sap take the initiative and actually ask Beth what was bothering her!

So that's what brought me here now, standing outside his place, appropriate tribute in hand. Things inside must have been getting a little intense if Mick's deep frown and the way he jerked open the door were any indication. "Josef, what are you doing here?"

Honestly, didn't either of these people know how to say hello? "I just dropped by to see Beth. Hold these for me, would you?" I shoved the champagne and designer chocolates at him as I crossed the room at vamp speed, grabbing her face gently in both hands and planting a delicious wet one on those luscious pink lips. I held it for as long as I felt I could get away with before releasing her at last. Her breathlessness made my lips twitch as I suppressed a smile of satisfaction.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" The words were more growl than actual speech. Mick had joined us.

"Just saying a proper thank you to the second most beautiful, most intelligent woman in the world."

I couldn't resist giving her pert little septum a gentle tweak as I added the last bit. "She's also the nosiest!"

My words were lost on him, but she froze in fearful anticipation. "Has something happened?" There was no mistaking the tentative hope in her voice and I grinned like a school boy.

"It worked. She's awake!" I confirmed, watching her face light up. She hugged me then, overcome by her joy and I returned it gleefully. I knew I was pushing my luck. My friend was glaring daggers and I could literally hear him grinding his teeth but I didn't care. Mick St. John had a tiny, precious treasure in Beth Turner and it was damn time he started acting like it! If a healthy dose of jealousy from me stirred the pot and helped along the way, so much the better.

"Sarah's awake. Congratulations, Josef. Now take your hands off Beth." Mick ground out. I released her at last, deliberately taking my time. Maybe I was finally getting through to him.

Putting all levity aside, I turned to my little benefactress. "In all seriousness, Beth, I can never repay you for what you've done. If it hadn't been for you, Sarah would never have returned to me. I'm in your debt and I always repay my debts."

That was when she did it again, Damn it! Just when I thought I got myself back on a level playing field with this little human, she went and threw another one of those emotional punches that hit me like a left hook.

"Josef, we're friends. This is what friends do; they help each other without keeping track. You don't owe me anything." Her baby blues shone with the depth of her words.

It was that last part that did it. In the past 4 centuries, countless Vampires and humans alike had come to me offering things under the guise of friendship, always with strings attached. In all those years, only one other person had ever helped me without once asking for anything in return and he was standing next to us. Yet, she'd not only let me off the hook, she'd done it in front of a witness! It was official. Beth was now my favorite human on the planet!

She must have sensed the pensive turn of my thoughts because she attempted to lighten the mood. "Besides, you brought champagne and designer chocolate. What else does a girl need?" I must have looked like I might touch her again, because Mick reached out and deliberately pulled her closer away from me.

Suddenly, I recalled the other part of my little surprise. In a flash, I was back, my arms overflowing with red roses and one last treat. "Red roses for the lady." I announced with a flare and then presented her with the box containing the designer gown.

"Oh, it's gorgeous!" Her gasp of appreciation was satisfying.

"Just a little something for you to wear at the soiree I'm having a week from Saturday. It's publically a fundraiser for Hearst College but it's also Sarah's Los Angeles debut. You're both invited. Attendance is mandatory, of course."

"NO!" Mick's voice was a deep growl now, his anger erupting at last. "You are not buying Beth clothing. She isn't one of your damn freshies!"

I started to take offense but the lady intervened. "He's right, Josef. I told you that you don't owe me anything. I'll take the roses, the chocolate and the champagne but you should keep the dress. I'm sure Sarah would look fantastic in it."

"You're still coming though." It wasn't a question.

"Of course. We wouldn't miss it, would we Mick?"

His temper cooled a bit and he nodded his assent. "We'll be there."

In the end, I decided to host the party at Grauman's Chinese theater. What better place to introduce the world to my leading lady? Celebrities and politicians alike turned out eager to be part of what was undoubtedly the party of the year. Beth was right. The designer gown looked positively stunning on my Sarah. A small fortune in diamonds hung from her ears and around her neck but they faded into nothingness compared to the light in her lovely eyes. I'd been grinning like an idiot for weeks and it didn't bother me one bit. I'd never been happier. No more freshies for me. I was a one woman vampire, kind of like another guy I knew.

Taking Sarah's hand, I guided her across to where Mick and Beth were already dancing. It didn't surprise me that Beth and Sarah hit it off at once. In spite of being raised in the fifties, Sarah had always been a woman who knew her own mind. Meeting Beth had only reinforced that. As we all glided across the dance floor, I couldn't help giving a thought to Fate and the odd way it had all worked out.

If Mick had never met Beth, he'd still be miserable maybe even lost by now. If that happened, I never would have encountered Beth either and Sarah would still be lost to me. Strange how fate connects people. I might have gone on like that all night if the beautiful woman in my arms hadn't laid her hand gently on my cheek, reminding me how fortunate I was. Pulling her closer, I decided to leave the philosophy to the scholars and just enjoy the happiness I had. Never let it be said Josef Kostan wasted a shot at happiness.