A/N: Hey guys! This is a crackfic that I've been working on when I have no time to work on my story "Follow The Sun Through A Thunderstorm". Each chapter will only be short, but good for a laugh. You never know, it may turn into something bigger! But for now, it's just a few drabbles while university takes up most of my time with essays.

Also, this fic can take place in any part of the series before Breaking Dawn. Each chapter involves a song. These characters are OOC, because it makes them funnier, but hopefully there's still an element of Steph Meyer's characters. It's rated T because there will be swearing and minor suggestive adult themes, but nothing too explicit. So if you are against any of these, please do not continue.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any song used in this fic.

Chapter One: Cullen Poker

Inspired by "Poker Face" – Lady Gaga

Carlisle POV

Out the corner of my eyes, I saw my adoring wife watch on as I played poker with the kids. I studied the cards in my hand.

Just one more ace and I've won, hands down!

I waited for an eternity for Alice to deal the card. Emmett wore a frown.

Looks like he still doesn't understand this game!

Edward sat casually, cards in one hand and the other arm propped up lazily on the arm of his chair, his face unreadable.

Rosalie looked bored. Jasper looked like he was in deep concentration.

Geez, everything's life or death with him! Lighten up dude!

Edward smirked.

Who asked you, Big Ears?!

Edward's face fell and he glared in my direction.

I'm kidding! Prude…

FINALLY! The card has been dealt! I quickly flip it over… an ace!

Oh yeah, who's King of the Cards!

Easy now, keep a straight face. Got to keep my poker face!

Hmm, catchy song, I think I'll hum it to myself.

I place my bets.

I've got to sing it! I can't take it anymore!

"Come on, Carlisle, you know you want to," Edward said, smirking again.

The others looked at me expectantly.

Oh well, better not disappoint!

"Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker face!" I sang, dancing in my seat. Emmett snorted, Jasper didn't look amused, Rosalie looked embarrassed and Edward looked… smug?

Why is he smug?

Meh, I've won this round anyway so I should probably just get it over with.

I placed my cards down on the table.

"Full house," I announced as I sat back in my seat, basking in my own glory.

Edward's face now wore a shit-eating grin.

"Royal flush," I heard from my left.

I watched as Bella placed her cards down on the table.

Gah! Damn you all to hell!

A/N: So there you go! First one done. It literally only took ten minutes, so I should be able to update this every few days.

Don't forget to leave me some feedback. Any review is a good review. Also, if you'd like to see something happen, just let me know!

Thanks!

Melissa Kae :)