what I learned from zelda games
Who needs dry cleaning? You can wear the same set of cloths every day.
Fairies are annoying, no matter what color they come in.
That a tye-dye fairy might not be such a bad idea.
You can walk for days on end, battle giant monsters and run around a huge world performing tedious tasks on a single night of fitful sleep.
If you suddenly go into a seven-year slumber, don't worry, your hair won't budge an inch.
And your tunic gets bigger.
And somehow, you'll wake up wearing white tights. I want to know who put them ON (Zelda: Wasn't me! I swear! Y-you can't prove a thing!)
The Invisible Man started his own monastery and that's who sings in the Temple of Time.
Giant fairies can get away with wearing only vines, but the moment you try it…nooooo you get suspended…
You can keep a chicken in your tunic and be completely unnoticed.
Hylian guards need glasses.
Little girls' voices, when singing, can echo farther than humanly possible AND still retain perfect pitch.
Be a boy scout: be prepared and carry elfish hats in red, blue and green.
Your horse is really, really, REALLY stupid. And I mean STUPID.
Ask your horse to jump a ten foot gate? No problem. Ask the same horse to come here, and she runs into a tree. Go fig.
In the middle of your quest, don't forget to stop and adjust your tunic. Those things are terrible about riding up, and we mustn't look bad for the monsters.
Oh, and another thing about the big snooze…you can sleep through getting your ears pierced twice. (kid link: no earrings; adult link: earrings)
Wanna be the volleyball champ of your school? Go practice beating back balls of life-sucking energy with only a bottle against a guy with really bad red hair and a receding hairline.
Speaking of Gerudos, it is somehow possible for an entire race to thrive with a male born once every 7 years.
Mustaches that grow crooked unaided are a mark of evil.
One word: "When Cuccos Attack!" Wait…that's more than one word.
You don't have to be a math whiz to beat this game.
Queen Gohma is the perfect villain for arachnophobic math flunkies everywhere. (notice the division symbol on her eye)
It's entirely possible to have fire and ice for hair and not end up bald, burnt or hypothermic.
The title of "hero" forbids you to chew out elfin children a tenth your size and forces you to tolerate an attitude from them.
Money grows on trees. So go ahead, head-butt one; don't worry, you won't lose a single brain cell. The bigger the tree, the more money.
The park keepers at the Redwood National Forest in California want to ban this game because so many little kids have tried the above technique.
Iron boots don't rust.
Wearing a tunic of scales automatically grants you the ability to breathe underwater.