Sophia had just had another of her ideas.
Whenever his mother-in-law said the words "I´ve been thinking..." Severus shivered. "I´ve been thinking..." would usually be followed with some grandious and unpractical idea that demanded more patience from him that he was willing to spare on a good day. The first time he had heard the dreaded formula had been back in 1999 when he and Evelyn were tentatively finding the balance of their newfound relationship. He was still working out a way of telling her he was a wizard...To give himself the strentgh to do it, he had accepted to spend the summer holidays in Doolin, visiting her family. Sophia had pestered Evelyn until they decided to cancel their reservations at a local bed and breakfast to stay in her mother´s house instead. In separate rooms, under her watchful eye of course.
"I´ve been thinking...why spend money with a hotel when I have so much space here. You two can keep me company. You know how much your sister works." Evelyn was a month shy of her 36th birthday then and Severus himself had just turned 39, and by any definition of the word they were two fully grown adults, and yet she had kept close watch over them every single moment they had spent under her roof, from the moment he was introduced to her until he finally put that blessed wedding band on her daughter´s finger.
"I´ve been thinking..." was the incantation that made their weeding go from an intimate ceremony strictly for family and a handful of friends to an outdoors affair that Severus struggled to keep just under 150 guests employing more power of persuasion than he had needed over the course of a two-decade spy career. "I´ve been thinking..." were the magical words that turned every one of Soren´s birthday celebrations into lavish Halloween-cum-birthday parties would have made Louis XIV hang his head in shame. "I´ve been thinking..." had landed Severus in more social events, gatherings, and human interaction than he had entertained in the whole 38 yeas of his life before he met Evelyn all combined.
It wasn´t that Severus and Evelyn couldn´t say no to her. They could and did, oh so often. She just didn´t listen. Sophia barely bothered to aknowledge them, even. Sometimes it was just easier to let her have her way and find more subtle ways to go around her shenanigans and bring the collateral damage to a minimum. Severus had learned to do that expertly over the course of fourteen years of relentless trial and error. But he still shivered when she told him she "had been thinking..." Severus loved his mother-in-law almost as much as he did his own late mother...but he hated when she started to "think..."
"Yes?..." he offeed without raising his eyes from the newspaper, knowing any reaction would just give her more fuel. Then he braced for it...
"Soren´s birthday is coming up, and..."
"We all agreed to keep it simple, Sophia."
"I know, I know..." she replied softly...too softly for his liking "But the boy still needs a gift. Unless you want to forgo even that."
"Of course he will have his birthday gifts. All I ask of you is not spoil him rotten. Sensible enough request, you think?"
"Well, yes."
"So...we agree not to go overboard with the gifts this year...right?"
"Of course..." she agreed, without looking away from her knitting.
Severus studied her face for a moment. Sophia never agreed to anything without at least twenty minutes of head-butting. This wasn´t over...
….
October 31st , 2013
Everything had gone smoothly. A small birthday party just for family, close friends and a couple of Soren´s playmates from around the neighborhood, exactly as Severus and Evelyn had planned. For once they had actually managed to keep Sophia under control. Severus should be relieved...but he wasn´t. It wasn´t like Sophia to just accept not having her way. Come to think of it...Severus looked over to where Soren was showing his friends a big astronomy book he had gotten from Paulo. He had, as usual, gotten many gifts, but...
Severus didn´t recall Sophia giving him her gift. This could only mean one thing...
"Are you ok, love?" Evelyn came up from behind him, beaming in an emerald green dress, still unaware of the fact that her mother was, most likely up to something.
"Yes, but...have you noticed that your..." He couldn´t finish the sentence. Like clockwork he heard Sophia´s voice coming from the middle of the livingroom "Oh dear, here we go..."
"Everyone, if you please...I have something to announce" Sophia said, with her characteristic booming voice, that always sounded oddly out of place for such a petite woman, as she clinked her wineglass with a spoon. Everyone stopped what they were doing to gather around her, Soren getting up and running to his mother´s side
"Oh Christ... what could she possibly have to say now!?" He whispered to Evelyn, who looked too amused for his taste as she hugged Soren to her side.
"Just let her be, you know how mam loves to make these speeches"
"My dear friend Regina," Sophia continued "who as we all known as been so blessed this year, has just arrived with a very special gift for my beloved only grandson. Regina, if you please, thank you...!"
Wasn´t Regina that friend of Sophia´s who bred dogs, he thought to himself. But before he could mentally answer his own question, Regina came in, carrying, predictably, a puppy. No...that couldn´t be called a "puppy"...it was as big as an adult dog..What the devil...
"Here you are, Soren..." Sophia went on, without as much as aknowleding anybody eles in the room "I hope you like him. He's the finest in the litter, with all the makings of a champion!Happy birthday."
"Sev..." Evelyn gasped, frozen in place. "...are you seeing what I´m seeing?"
"I see it but I don´t believe it." he hissed "Evelyn, please tell me she didn´t."
"Oh, you best believe she did" Catelyn was somewhere to his right, cracking up.
Soren tore himself away from his mother´s grasp and ran up to his grandmother who was holding the puppy. He tentatively pet the dog´s head before giving him a hug "Is this the one we saw that day?!"
"Yes, Soren! The one with the white patch on his chest. He'll turn a little more yellow as he grows older, not like yer grandfathers' Old Fergus. He stayed black."
"Is that an Irish wolfhound?" Paulo asked, intrigued.
"I am pretty sure it is, Love." Caitlin told him, still laughing.
"I´m gonna faint" Evelyn whispered to him, holding on to his arm for dear life
"Don´t you dare... I'm not sure I can stand on my own two feet either!"
"Has your mother lost her marbles?" Paulo continued to talk to Caitlin, both ignoring Seerus and Evelyn´s dismay "These things grow immense!"
"I KNOW! My father had one: it was like having a giraffe in the house!"
"Look, mam, dad!" Soren shouted, holding the puppy as carefully as he could, given its size "Isn´t he the best dog you´ve ever seen?! Heps gonna be taller than you, dad!"
"Eh...uhg...Soren, what doe we tell gran?" Even at her most shocked Lyn hadto enforce manners. Severus on the other hand was about to throw politeness to the wind. He turned to Paulo and pulled him to the nearest room.
"Oh for fuck's sake!" he let out as soon as he was out of Soren´s sight "Paulo, you don't really think she's intent that we take that beast back to Hogsmeade, do you?"
"Isn´t that a discussion for another time? You don´t wanna ruin your son´s birthday..."
"WHAT...?! I'd like to detonate radioactive explosives at my son´s birthday right now! PAULO, HOW COULD SHE DO THIS?!"
"I know, I know...But look at him! You can come up with an excuse not to take the puppy home later, but don´t ruin it for him right now, he´s so happy"
"You´re the animal expert around here...How big do those things grow, exactly?"
"Well...an adult can go up to a 150 pound...about as tall as an adult man when they get on their hinder legs...About the size of a small pony overall..."
"EVELYN... EVELYYYYNNNN..." He MAY WE HAVE A WORD FOR A MOMENT!?"
"Severus, please!" Evelyn came into the room, all flustered and certainly hoping to do some damage control should he lost his temper. That ship had sailed... "Sev, listen...Just calm down, we have people in the house!"
"WE HAVE A BEAST IN THE HOUSE TOO!"
"Look, I know is bad, but it´s just a puppy...don´t overreact!"
"Paulo, DO tell my wife how large this breed grows!?"
"I know how large they grow...My father had one of those, remember? Which is certainly where Soren got the idea."
"Lyn, you realize this animal is going to be the size of a horse, right!?"
"Yes, yes I do...Fergus was an excellent dog, the sweetest one I´ve met in my life...But having one of these giants here in Doolin is entirely different from having one back in Hogsmead, and we´re going to CALMLY explain all of that to Soren as soon as the party is over...Okaaay!?"
"Listen to her, Severus...There´s no point in ruining the party and traumatizing your son. We´ll work this out later..."
"SWEET?! Evelyn, where are we going to put it?!It´s a fucking monster!"
"Oh, please...Irish wolfhounds have the best tempers. But that´s beside the point because were not keeping him, so quit twisting your knickers in a bunch, will you? Let´s not punish Soren for mam´s shenanigans...God knows it will be hard enough explaining he can´t have the puppy..."
"Lyn, if we´re not taking it home, please explain to me what your mother's going to do with a dog that weighs 12 tonnes!?"
"Well, that´s her problem! She had the idea after all! Ugh...I could kill her! You know what this means!? WE will have to be the bad ones and tell him he can´t have the puppy...Jesus."
"Actually, guys..." Nobody saw Caitlin come in before she was standing right next to Severus "why wouldn't you guys be able to keep the puppy?! Lyn's right: I used to ride old Fergus' back when I was a child. My father had him since before I was born! And you guys have plenty of space for a dog like that. It would do Soren a world of good to be responsible for a pet of that ... magnitude. He may very well protect Soren!"
"Look, Caitlin...I´m not against having a dog per se but...This is not an easy breed for a young boy! And we should have been consulted first..." *
"Do YOU want him, Caitlin?!" Severus snapped.
"We already have Sorcha! But, look, Severus...You guys have a friggin´lake on your backyard...is not for lack of space! So what's annoying you for the most part is that Mam went over yer heads here, right?! Not the fact that suddenly Soren has a puppy."
"I guesss...Severus...what do you think...Is Soren ready to be trusted with a pet?"
"I DON'T KNOW! Why don't you ask your mother?!"
"Quit trying to be sassy on me, severus. I asked you a straight question...do you think Soren can handle the responsibility!? I mean... If we can trust him with chores and whatnot...maybe he can handle a puppy?"
"I don't know, Evelyn! What if he doesn't?! Then we're stuck with it! He'll be at Hogwarts in 4 short years - Hogwarts doesn't allow Irish Wolfhounds as part of the pet policy, Evelyn! We could have gotten him another cat, or a toad or a rat... but JESUS FUCK!"
"If it makes you feel better Mr. Killjoy," Caitlin intervened again, sounding less and less amused " Irish Wolfhounds have a low life expectancy... Bone cancer and all kinds of shite end their lives at around 6-10 years."
"Oh, dear, I had forgotten about THAT...thanks, Cat..." Evelyn´s eyes rolled so far into her head she could have pulled a muscle.
"MAMA, DAD!" Soren came in like a miniature tornado, and all four adults immediately tried to look like everything was ok with varying levels of success...Not that the over-excited boy seemed to notice or care at all
"What is it, Soren?!" Severus asked, hoping the vein he knew was popping on his forehead wouldn´t cue the boy into his actul state of mind,
"I have a name for the puppy! Wanna know what it is?!"
"Sure, love..." Evelyn told him, looking at Severus, her eyes pleading him to be nice. Severus really wished Soren wouldn´t do that...didn´t make things any easier.
"FERGUS! Like grandpa´s dog He can be Fergus the second, like kings that come numbered when their name is repeated. Grandpa would like that, wouldn´t he?!"!"
Well, that was it, Severus thought. He was officially and royally fucked. There was no way Evelyn´s soft heart wouldn´t melt at the sound of that, and they´d have to keep the thing. Grand, just fucking grand. Soren just dropped the bom on them then bounced back to the living room before anybody could react.
"Severus...I think we can´t give up the puppy now..." There it was. Her eyes were watering. Fuck, did Soren have to bring his grandfather into this. Severus couldn´t win against that.
"FINE! But SOREN has to be the one who trains him, and bathes him, feeds him, cleans up after him, right?! If we are to keep this dog , he's HIS responsibility. And if HE can´t handle it the dog´s gone." he blurted and huffed, deafeated.
"Of course, all of that goes without saying."
"Now ...I believe that still leaves us with one thing to do. You know we have to have a word with you know who about this..."
"Of course. Let´s just wait till Soren is in bed and we´ll talk to my mother."
"Capital idea"
….
Guests gone, kitchen clean, Soren and puppy both tired and sound asleep, Severus and Evelyn could finally had the chance to talk to Sophia. She wasn´t having none of their arguments, as per usual.
"I fail to see what all the fuss is about!" she let out nonchalantly, wiping her hands on her apron before putting the kettle on.
"Mam...Don´t act like you don´t get what´s wrong...You completely undermined our authority giving him this puppy! And let´s not pretend you did it on a whim, you were planning this since the friggin´litter was born, weren´t you?"
"And what is wrong with a grandmother getting her grandson a puppy, eh?! Boys all over the world have dogs, and by God, it's time Soren had one too! Yer sister's husband got Elizabeth Sorcha more or less the same way and she didn't make such a fuss!"
"SOPHIA! HE'S 8!" Severus was on the verge of pulling his hair off "The ones who are going to take care of that beast are Lyn and I!"
"Severus has a point..." Evelyn said, gently beckoning Severus to seat on a chair and have some tea. She couldn´t have him on the verge of a heart attack now "Soren is much younger than Elizabeth was when she got Sorcha...and I´m sure Paulo consulted her mother first...And, by God, mam, you work with dogs! You damn well know this breed has certain...limitations"
"Wait wait, Evelyn... Sophia, do you intend to keep that beast here after we go back to Scotland or did you just assume we were going to take it with us?! Paulo said those things weigh over 200 pounds when fully-grown and are over 6 feet tall on their hind legs?! With all due respect, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"
"Severus, you´ll wake Soren up..." Evelyn sounded more tired of dealing with him than with Sophia or Soren.
"Eh... Elizabeth was 12 if I was not mistaken... not much older than Soren is now. I frankly fail to see the difference." Sophia sipped on her tea as though they were discussing the weather "And of course he's for Soren to take with him. He's Soren's dog! Severus, a dog is a dog and I've seen more trouble from Chihuahuas than I ever have from an Irish Wolfhound. Size aside they are the best breed for young children! I know this!"
"Mam, I don´t disagree with you about Irish wolfhounds...But you SHOULD have consulted us instead of going behind our backs! And 8 and 12 are very different stages of development! AND should I remind you that Soren won´t even be in the house once he´s 11? He can´t take Fergus to Hogwarts!"
"YES! THAT WAS QUITE BELOW THE BELT, SOPHIA!"
"Severus, do keep it down!"
"Oh Pish-posh! If I had consulted, the answer would have been a resounding 'No' from the both of you and you know it! Now" she was puttin on those pitiful cat-in-the-rain eyes "I don't know how much longer I have in this world to see the joy in my grandson's face when I fulfilled my dream of getting him his first dog!"
"Mam?...don´t do that. Emotional blackmail only goes so far...It´s not about getting Soren a pet, is about WHAT pet and HOW you did it!"
"WHAT emotional blackmail?! Honestly, please tell me what all the fuss is about here!"
"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL- Look what is this that you are doing?! Frankly, it's sick! It's sick for Soren, and damn it all, it's even sick for the dog!"
"Sev, you said you wouldn´t overreact..."
"I'm NOT OVERREACTING, EVELYN! Suddenly this is my fault?!"
"I didn´t say that! And can the two of you, PLEASE, try to be rational for just ONE SECOND!? The fact of the matter is...we have a puppy. I don´t think we can just tell Soren he can´t have it now, so discussing that is beside the point..."
"WHY NOT - ?!"
"Severus...You know as well as I do that we can´t simply take that puppy away...That would be punishing Soren for a mistake he didn´t make!"
"Well... tough! That's life: full of unfair punishments and it´s never too soon to learn that. "
"Fine! Then YOU be the one to tell him he can´t have his puppy!"
"OK I will, and he can take that up with his grandmother!"
"Yeah, like hell you will, Mr. Tough guy. Quit bluffing! You know damn well you wouldn´t have the heart to do it."
"Look that's fine: Soren can take that up with me. In fact, "Sophia set her tea on the table só hard they though she´d break the cup...and that was her good china too "I'll break the news to him meself! You two don't want a dog, and I'll have little choice but to respect that!"
"GREAT! You do that!" Severus barked
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CAN THE TWO OF YOU STOP?! I´m NOT going to break my son´s heart just because you decided to engage in a sodding pissing contest over a dog!"
" Laguage, Evelyn!"
"Language my arse, mother! I´m done with the two of you! Are you even thnking about Soren AT ALL!?"
Severus looked at his wife. Evelyn´s cheeks were colored a shade of bright, fiery red he rarely saw on her. She wasn´t just mad, she was fuming. But more than just furious...she was correct. Neither of them was thinking of Soren and how he would feel if the dog was taken away. At this rate instead of proving some sort of point to his mother-in-law Severus was only going to break his heart for no good reason.
There was no point to this discussion.
"So does this mean we're taking that beast back to Scotland?" he sighed, more of a statement than a question.
"The way mam went about it left us with no alternatives. And she damn well knows it!"
"Evelyn... WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! I mean... how?! LOOK AT THAT THING: she might as well have gotten him a bloody horse!"
"I know, I know...She wasn´t thinking when she did that. Which is precisely the problem here! I know you mean well, but, mam, you can´t simply walk all over us to give Soren anything he wants! Do you have any idea how much of a disservice this is to your grandson?! What happens when he goes to Hogwarts and can´t take Fergus with him?! What happens when he wants something he can´t have!? What happens when we try to discipline him and fail because he knows all he has to do is run to granny and he can get away with anything!?"
"Evelyn surely you're overreacting - it's just a puppy! OK OK... I promise this is the last time I do something like this. You're right, on certain points. You have my word that I will cover all the veterinary bills and will even send money for food if you need. My way of saying 'I'm sorry', eh?"
"And whose idea wasit to name it Fergus, if I may ask?"
"Soren's! I told him about your father's old dog and he insisted this one would be Fergus as well."
"So...it wasn´t a plot of yours to soften my wife? Because it seems to have worked like a charm..." Severus spit out under his breath
"Soften you- I haven't a clue what you're talking about!"
"Sophia, I swear, if I step in shit in the middle of the night, I am shipping it to you directly in a shoebox along with the dog!"
"Alright alright... you do that! I just wanted to get my grandson a puppy... and I did. And you'll both see how you'll love him. And yes, I think we should all get to bed. we have a long day of training tomorrow."
"Which I expect YOU to take the brunt of, mam!"
"Gladly! But please let's get to bed. That pup will surely start barking in a few hours to void himself. I will have to teach Soren those basics.
"Start barking to do what? Soph..."
"Good night, Evelyn... Severus."