Disclaimer: I like everyone else own nothing :(
"Arizona?" came the confused voice. She was stood with tear streaks down her pink cheeks, her eyes were sad and pleading, "come in... How long? What's the matter?" in the moment, why she was crying and on his doorstep was more important than how long she had been there. He'd found her crumpled on the ground to the right hand side of his door, he had been heading out when he heard her sniffle. He had only witnessed her crying once and that was when she was threatening the chief about Bailey, she hadn't acknowledged that he had been watching and neither had ever mentioned it. It was only after a conversation with Callie did he learn about her authority issues.
"We had a fight" she sniffled through the sentence. Arizona had only been back in Seattle one month. Her and Callie's relationship hadn't developed or really been a relationship. Arizona spent her time trying to convince Callie to hear her out, while Callie walked away and refused to allow her the time. They both knew what they were doing to the other, they both supported miserable expressions and such exhausted looks. It would be hard to miss the effect this was having.
Callie had wanted Arizona back so much, Mark knew this more than anyone, he knew how much it hurt her when she left, how much she wanted her back and yet her principle in not taking her back seemed absurd to him. She was hurting them both on principle. But it was three days ago she had managed to break Arizona completely, she played on her strongest insecurity of their relationship. She told her that she had slept with Mark.
Mark was unsure why she had told Arizona this. He knew she hadn't enjoyed it and thought about Arizona the whole time which didn't bother him as much as it should. They both willingly used each other to try and forget their respective ex-partners. So why had Callie told her? There were only two reasons in his opinion... To hurt her... or to relieve her guilt. Callie hadn't said it directly but to some extent Mark believed she wouldn't take Arizona back because she had slept with him. So by telling Arizona in the middle of a work day was either her being selfish or selfless... at least she had said it behind closed doors.
The only evidence that something new had occurred between Callie and Arizona was that Arizona looked completely broken and with no hope sparkling in her eyes, while Callie looked even more miserable if possible. Callie had refused to talk to him about it and asked for space.
And now the seemingly most broken half of the couple was at his door, up until now he hadn't wondered what the seemingly unfixable fallout had been over but in her few words guilt hit him harder than he realised it would. "She told me you slept together when I left." Mark moved away from the doorway and allowed Arizona to pass through. They headed over to the couch, he hadn't seen anyone look so defeated before. "The reason I didn't like you was because I felt threatened. I didn't know how people could keep having sex with you despite being aware of your Casanova lifestyle, even Callie, but you are her best friend so I had to accept you. But I never stopped wondering if she would ever cheat on me with you..."
She would have continued, but Mark interrupted, he wanted to appease her insecurities even though the inevitable had already happened. "You know Callie's opinion on cheating, why would you think she would ever do that to you? And technically what we did wasn't cheating it was more..."
She let out a sob interrupting him from his explanation "no Mark! I really do not want to hear the circumstances of why and how you two came to have..." She stopped herself when she looked back up at Mark, she was unsure about his expression, confusion, guilt, unease? "How can you pass judgement or understand if you don't let us explain?" Arizona looked astonished "Callie didn't offer an explanation, I haven't seen her in 3 days, that's all the explaining I need, I do however need your help. "
Mark sighed. "You really should hear an explanation from one of us and what the circumstances were before and after, what do you need help with?"
She seemed to look unsure now, Mark seemed so sincere in wanting her to understand and she couldn't help feeling she was missing something important. "Will you help me or not? Then I might let you explain your side of the events." Mark nodded, he would help, she sighed with relief. Then she spoke and it took his breath away, caused his mouth to drop into his stomach with such weight he felt sick.
"I want you to have sex with me"
"Arizona! What? No! Why would you ask something like that, you have never been with a guy, you are gay always have been always will be, your words not mine. Are you crazy? Do you have any idea of what you're asking? What this would do to Callie?"
Arizona's expression betrayed her anxiety "I know what I am asking Mark, and you've already said you would help" her voice was calm except the lapse in her last word in which he was sure he heard her whimper. "Arizona you really don't want this? Why are you even asking?"
"Because I want to understand the fascination, it's not so much the fact that you are a man, more this unexplainable pull all these women seem to be caught up in, what Callie seems to be pulled to you by..."
"Arizona you should really hear me out first in regards to Callie and I, you will change your mind after..."
"No!" she gasped "no matter what you say I will always wonder, I will always ask myself what it is that women are attracted to, what Callie gets from your relationship. And although Callie and I may never get a chance again... even if we did, I would spend my time wondering if she would eventually go back to you" there it was again, her insecurity over Mark, her biggest insecurity in regards to her Calliope.
"Callie and I will never be together like that again, I am in love with Lexie, I really want things to work between us and I have every hope they will, that I will settle down and live happily ever after, in which Callie and I having sex again will never be an issue."
"Mark, it really doesn't matter what you say about possibilities, I am still asking you for this."
"Arizona..."
"Please" there was definitely a whimper in her voice and Mark took everything he had to look up at her, to look into her eyes, only to witness the solitary tear running down her cheek, to witness the pleading he could see in her eyes. How could she be asking this of him, of anyone.
"Arizona, I am a man, you've never done this before, have you even used..." he really didn't have an issue with sex or anything relating to sex, but in this situation and with this woman he couldn't seem to articulate what he wanted to say.
"Yeah, I have... once when I was younger, curious and experimental" her cheeks flushed a little, it wasn't really an experience she had enjoyed, it more solidified her sexual orientation and her preference of toys.
"And by the looks of it you've never tried it again, which is why you don't want to do this"
"Mark it is not about you having a penis, it's about you!"
This didn't make all that much sense to him, his skills were all to do with his penis, it was his best asset, well to be honest the Sloan Method was exceptional also, but Callie had said hands down the Robbins Method was a winner. And since Arizona couldn't exactly perform the act on herself, then the Sloan Method from the original Sloan would be an experience of its own
"ok"
"What?"
"I said ok, but honestly Arizona you better know what you are asking, you better be prepared for my explanation of... just, are you sure this is really what you want?" She nodded, he sighed. This was going to be an experience neither of them would forget. How would they ever explain this to Callie, in all hope she would never have to know, but it was extremely unlikely that Arizona or Mark would be able to stand the guilt.
He leaned forward into her personal space, her heart was beating so fast in anticipation but almost to the extent she was starting to panic. He stopped and looked down into her eyes, all he could do to sooth her was place his hand on her cheek and wait until he saw a flicker of determination in her eyes. He continued his movements until his lips met hers. There was no way they could just throw themselves into having sex and if he was honest he didn't want to scare or hurt Arizona. He was so used to seeing her confident and sure of herself, that this new vulnerability and the trust she was placing in him seemed to make him respect all the more.
She tasted sweet, her lips were soft and he was almost carried away by the sensation, his tongue swiped across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to him. In that moment he was jealous, jealous of Callie for having experienced this, then guilty for being jealous because he knew what this was going to do to Arizona and what it would do to Callie if she found out. He pulled away with a sad smile on his lips. Arizona pressed her lips back together and opened her eyes to him. His mouth was so different in comparison to Calliope's or any other women she had kissed, they always seemed to taste sweeter, but Mark tasted distinctly of tooth paste and mouth wash and she found herself wondering what his natural taste was.
His eyes were asking her once again if she was sure and the only thing she could do was nod and lean back up to his mouth of her own accord. This appeased his anxieties to which he continued. He ran his hand down from her left shoulder to her hand; once again he pulled away and led her to his bedroom. She walked behind him in trepidation, and he wasn't walking anymore confidently than she was. Once inside he closed the door and nodded
Arizona in the direction of his bed. Usually he wouldn't have an issue with just approaching a woman and taking her clothes off, lavishing her skin with his kisses as it was exposed, but right now he was uncertain of what to do and uncharacteristically felt the need to ask.
"Arizona how do you want to do this? I mean... usually I don't have an issue with this kind of thing, but this is you and I don't know..." he sighed and looked anywhere but at her, all he could feel was both their anxieties and an air of vulnerability about them both. More her than him. She had never been naked in front a man, let alone allowed one to touch her intimately.
"Just do what you would usually do..." she shook her head unable to express anymore, sure she was aware of her own anxieties and to be honest she probably had more than even she was aware of, but the most pressing for her was letting him touch her.
"slowly..."
There was another one. He nodded his head and moved over to her where she was seated at the end of his bed. He knelt down in front of her and started to remove her knee high boots. Up until this point he hadn't really took note of what she was wearing but now he knew. His awareness of her and her body was more pronounced because it was her, yeah sure he knew how most women felt and to the most it was rather similar, but this woman was different and he was more aware of both himself and her than ever before.
Once both boots were removed he leaned back up to kiss her. In that moment he made it a rule to kiss her after removing any item from her. Even her guard, which kept her stiff when he touched her.
He stood up slowly and kicked off his own shoes and his jacket, the removed hers. He kissed her again for longer than when he removed her boots. He nodded his head in order to motion her to move back up the bed. She looked over her shoulder and slowly slid further up the bed. She would have gone all the way to the headboard but she felt his hand clasp the back of her left thigh to stop her moving higher. They were both aware of where his hand was placed and though it wasn't overly sexual it still caused them both to gasp. He moved further towards and she understood he wanted her to lie down and she did. She settled onto her back and felt him settle his body over hers.
He currently had his right thigh between hers, she knew he was not resting all his weight on her, more to his left and her right. She took in a deep breath as he shifted to settle snuggle between her thighs, chest to chest and he kissed her again.
She parted her thighs a little more in order to provide a more comfortable position for them both, pelvis to pelvis she became aware of their arousal. Sure she wasn't overly aroused like when she had a woman or when Callie pressed against her, but the pressure of his body and the slight pulse she felt through both their pants allowed her to feel a tingle. Their kiss lasted a while, but they needed to get through this.
Mark ran his right hand over her stomach and left hip. Slowly he sank his hand below her top and pushed it to crumple under her breasts revealing the pale bare skin of her stomach. His lips had wandered down her neck to her weak spot. Had she allowed herself to forget that it was Mark touching her she swore she would have believed it was Callie. This specific spot had only been found when she started dating Callie, and thoughts of Callie allowed Mark's ministrations to develop without much notice on her behalf. She felt him shift to his knees, but still leaning over her. His mouth had journeyed to her stomach where both his hands were clutching on either side.
She gulped and he felt her stomach shake. He looked at her and she knew she had to trust him. If she wanted this to happen she needed to believe he wasn't going to hurt her, that he would be gentle and even affectionate. And again she only saw sincerity in his eyes. She arched her stomach and then her chest off the bed enabling Mark to remove her top. She found herself being grateful that she was wearing quite nice underwear and if she remembered correctly they were actually matching for once. She didn't understand completely why but she found this a relief. Mark smiled at her heaving chest and settled his hands back to her sides. Leaning down to kiss her as he had promised himself, he ran his right hand up to cup her breast. To both their astonishment she moaned into his mouth, it wasn't loud or overly sexual, it just was what it was. Truthfully she probably wouldn't have a problem with any of this as long as she kept her eyes closed. The true problems would only start when he penetrated her.
Feeling a bit useless, maybe not useless but she wasn't usually this inactive in sex and in order to feel a bit more confident and in control she knew she had to participate. Being a gold star lesbian she had never felt a man's body and this was her opportunity to explore it fully.
Whilst being aware of his hands slipping behind her back to unclasp her bra, she wasn't really ready to have him look at her breasts so bluntly, so once her hands settled on his hips they began to wander. At first she felt him through his top, she even clutched at the back of his neck to make the kiss more passionate and ask him to remain where he was. Without words he knew and obeyed her request. Slowly she moved her hands under his top and massaged the skin on his back. They both moaned slightly as he massaged one of her breasts under his hand and she dug her nails into his back in response.
He let out a throaty but subtle laugh to which Arizona rolled her eyes, but he felt a small grin press against his lips. He took the opportunity to stop both ministrations and look at her. She was beautiful and even through her clothing and scrubs he knew she had a nice body, just as much as she knew he was handsome and finely built considering the amount of times she'd seem he topless it was difficult to ignore.
She moved to pull his top over his head, causing them both to sit up. Now she had no choice but to let him look at her bare chest, she really had nothing to worry about, Mark wasn't judging he was admiring. Deciding it would be easier if they were both kneeling she shifted to her knees in front of him. Figuring the rule counted for him too he once again kissed her, kissing seemed to be easier than talking, they could keep their eyes shut and just get carried away by the sensation.
Admittedly it was odd for Arizona to feel her chest come into contact with another bare chest without breasts. His chest was sturdy and hard against hers, but since she was a breast woman she instinctually felt the loss "I have to tell you Mark up until now I was fine but your lack of breasts is definitely a missed attribute, if only you had a pair" They both had to laugh at that, and it eased some of the tension the new position had brought.
Mark slipped his hands under her arms and behind her back bringing her securely back into his embrace, against his chest for another kiss. Her arms instinctually flew around his neck where her hands worked their way into his hair. Everything about this was new and odd for her where as Mark was obviously very used to being with a woman. She wasn't going to deny that she was aroused by his touch and the sensations of flesh against flesh but the constant awareness that he was in fact a guy and not a woman wouldn't leave her thoughts. And why would it? she knew she was an out and out lesbian and she had to remind herself why she was doing this... to understand?
Mark moved his hands down her back to her hips, to her bum. He pulled her lower half towards him, where they both felt his arousal.
"Ari... I'm... I'm going to..." They both took in a deep breath as his hands moved their way slowly to her belt, he undid it slowly and sensually, moving onto the button of her jeans, she drew her stomach in, he lowered the zip and then pressed her back onto the bed. Rather than move on top of her again he stayed to her right. Not entirely sure whether he should just go for it or not he decided to kiss her at the same time as slowly but firmly sliding his hands into her jeans but not her knickers. Her pelvis lifted of its own accord and shifting his hand further over her, where his fingers laid firmly in front of her entrance with only the flimsy material preventing penetration.
They both gasped and being this much closer to actually being intimate with each other, this brought all her anxieties back. A flood of tears came from her eyes. Neither of them had moved, though as Mark made to remove his hand she stopped him.
"If you stop now I won't be able to continue."
"Maybe we shouldn't... Ari please let me explain" there it was again he never called her Ari, she was used to Rollergirl or blondie, it was intimate and caring and slightly off putting, she knew he was trying to make her comfortable, and also make her see sense, right at this moment she should have probably stopped and they both knew it. She refused.
"No!" was the only reply he got before she pressed her lips firmly against his and shifted them so she was on top. The tears hadn't quite subsided. And still she continued. Her fingers shook as they moved to his button and zipper, he was still quite firm despite the interruption and his obvious trepidation. "Mark move your hand" it was a command and not for him to remove it. So he didn't. Mark massaged her through her underwear, it was inevitable that such an intimate touch from a man or a woman would cause arousal. Soon he had moved away her panties so he had skin against skin. He smoothed his hand over the small cluster of hair, through her folds to her opening and back up to her clit. He rubbed her softly. He was aware that her actions had stopped, she had managed to remove his jeans and throw them to the ground, but that was as far as she had got.
His touch had stopped her going any further, she still had her jeans on and she had hit a new problem. She obviously knew the basic skills required to give him a hand job, but she was uncertain. With a woman she went on what she liked and developed her skills from there and she was very good at it. Arizona wasn't used to not being good at anything, she would be deluding herself if she believed she could cover up this blip and successfully touch Mark.
Mark quickly flipped her onto her back, shocking her out of her reverie. Without warning her jeans were off and flying passed her head followed by her panties. He plunged his fingers deep inside of her and massaged her walls. She clenched around his fingers at the intrusion. She wasn't expecting... well she was... but he had done it while she had been off guard and she took a moment to recover. Before she could get used to his fingers inside her he added another sensation by placing his thumb back over her clit. She was used to all these sensations, her body was reacting to the familiarity of an intimate touch, but this wasn't familiar, this was Mark, a man and what was she doing?
Again she was taken off guard. Mark had removed his hand and settled his head between her thighs. Any insecurities she had about Mark seeing her naked and exposed. Looking at her and being so close to where no other man had ever been were unable to be expressed. His tongue ran from her entrance to her nub, he circled and sucked like he did to all other women. Orally he was going to allow himself to forget who this woman was and just do what he was exceptionally good at. He entered one finger and then a second, all the while never ceasing his ministrations to her clit. As soon as he felt her contract around his fingers he eased up removed his mouth from her sensitive and now swollen nub but didn't stop his hands, he had to keep contact with her in order to ease her insecurities that he knew he would encounter once he reached back up her body.
"Ari... Arizona are you ok? Her breathing was laboured and her eyes were scrunched shut, she showed no signs of opening them. She nodded slowly. Mark let out a breath he had been holding and allowed his head to drop softly and only momentarily against her chest.
"Mark, please just do it." Just like when she had first spoken to him today it came out as a whimper. He would have argued, neither of their hearts were truly in it and they both believed they were doing this with best intentions.
Mark closed his eyes, he couldn't believe he was going to have sex with Arizona Robbins, and not in a positive way, everything about this seemed wrong. "Arizona if we are going to do this you need to open your eyes. I need to know you are ok, that I am not hurting you, that... please look at me"
She opened her eyes for him. They were completely glazed over. He could identify fear, uncertainty and something that encouraged him to continue. He kissed her forehead affectionately, he covered them over with the duvet, he felt the need for some kind of privacy, from what he wasn't sure but it comforted him and he hoped it comforted her. He leaned down for a more passionate kiss. He tried to convey trust and security in it, but he didn't know if she felt it. He positioned himself more comfortably in between her thighs and placed the tip of his penis at her entrance. He pulled back to look at her.
He pushed firmly into her. Her hands moved to clutch his upper arms. Her body shifted at the intrusion. It wasn't like his or anyone else's fingers and it wasn't like the vibrator her and her second girlfriend had experimented with. The penetration had definitely caused some friction to her long-untainted passage. He was bigger in length and width, he was rigid. And she needed to adjust.
He had watched her eyes slam shut and he had determined not to move any further just as she grasped his arms to stop him. Guilt flooded him, more than when he'd first witnessed her crying and discovering why she was upset. Before she had shut her eyes he had seen the look in them. The pain that he had just caused. He remembered back to his first time and his then conquest, whose first time it was also. Even then he hadn't felt this guilty.
Although he knew moving only a little would agitate their position he couldn't see an alternative. He moved his right hand up to cup Arizona's cheek. He pecked her lips and rested his forehead against hers. She didn't open her eyes but he watched a few tears escape the closed lids. No one had ever been this vulnerable with him and Arizona had never been this vulnerable with anyone. Of all the people why Mark? And yet she had chose him, she knew him, he knew Callie and despite her own dislike of this man, the only reason she could figure for choosing him was Callie's constant reassurances that he was a good person, that he had a heart and that he had grown.
"Ari, open your eyes... come on Arizona look at me please." He was pleading he knew it, but he was worried. Leaning to her hear "Come on sweetheart" she shook her head, "I need you to talk to me" still nothing. He had several choices; wait for her to talk or open her eyes, move and have sex with her, pullout and waited for her to talk, pull out and ring Callie.
"Arizona I really don't know what to do and yeah I can think of several things but my heart is leaning more to the one I am not sure either of us want..." nothing, "I'm going to ring Cal."
He moved out of her and he heard a sob, he moved from under the duvet making sure she was still covered as she curled into a tight childlike ball. Oh God what have we done. He moved to the phone and rang Callie, he told her it was urgent and that she needed to come down in his apartment.
Now all he could do was wait, he went back to the bedroom ran his fingers through Arizona's hair kissed the top of her head "Callie will be here really soon, you don't need to worry ok?"
Well I had a thought and went with it :/ please don't be too harsh, it is a oneshot, though I would happily allow someone else to carry it on if they so wanted, not sure I actually have the time right now, maybe a one off sequel... but it would take some negotiation.