Riku I— Ch. 1 (& Prologue… Kind of.)
SoRiku, of course there'll be some Akuroku.
The story takes place in an unknown country, in a nameless sea-side town, during the last weeks of summer vacation.
(I hope there aren't too many mistakes.)
Once upon a time, there had been a family that gathered at least twice a year to enjoy the others prescience and laugh loudly at fresh gossips. During these rare occasions, the air would be tinged by the heart-warming smell of Grandma Sara's home-made cookies and the stance would glow; joy spreading like those cookies across the table. After the fulfilling communication between brothers and sister who hadn't seen each other and their mother for too long, Grandma Sara would sit on her rocking chair and tell stories about Grandpa who at that moment was, in her grandchild's young mind, the biggest hero of all times. Later on, when most of the adults had gone to sleep, Riku tugged Sara's dress. This was the landmark that preceded all of their poker matches. Rejoiced in being the only grandchild so far, Riku knowingly let himself be spoiled and stuffed with candies while revealing all his nine-year-old intellect to his overly proud Grandmother (at is point, Sara's newfound forces would drag her to the kitchen to bake a lemon pie against her old bones' complaints) between hands until his eyes closed on their own accord… Waking up next to Grandma with lemon pie aftertaste held a special charm that would make him weep each time they had to leave Sara's country house.
The last time this had happened had been eight years ago, before his little cousin Frida (Freiya—Fiona or whatever) was born and crashed his glowing vacation happiness using her shrill and amazingly dog-scaring, high-pitched screams. Then, Yusuke came and he was followed by the demon-possessed twins, Mia and Lia (the awful name's rhyme couldn't be more lame and imaginative-less).
Every new family member bit off painfully a part of his happiness and slowly, it –that'd become more of a idealized fantasy with the years- had lost the welcoming cookies smell of yesterday, the glow had faded away and the charm was dead. But what Riku resented the most as cookies, lemon pies and brownies turned into legends in his own mind, was watching Sara withering alarmingly fast, her spirit muffled by the passing of the years.
When Riku looked back, trying to ignore the sound of Sara's hesitant walking stick, he blamed it all to his cousins. He'd figured out long ago how unfair all of this was; those tiny monsters running around free, disturbing his memories and breaking at least five invaluable Grandpa's treasures per visit and his uncles excusing them dumbly (because they were just children, let them be Riku!—and this was enough justification for Yusuke pouring motor oil over an old Camera from 62'). He was sure Sara's decadence had been provoked by selfish, evil-doing dwarfs—or cousins, as he was forced to call them.
So at his almost seventeen years (and bearing with serious existential issues proper of teenagers) the melancholy, Mia's seventh rant over an ice-cream and the grey scenery, diminished easily his will to exist and he considered banging his head against his book three times at least.
That was how Riku arrived five hours later to Sora's house, his spirit sweeping the floor (Bright side: the street was metaphorically cleaner). He wouldn't have gone but it was a life or death thing—and he never could say no to Sora pleading at the other end of the line.
Sora, the kid with cute and deep blue eyes, the annoy-able, easy going attitude and the summer-like smile; his in front of neighbor for fifteen years, his best friend for eleven years, the object of his desire for five and lately the love of his life.
Stupid as it might sound, Riku hadn't accepted himself as gay because it was just Sora; Sora nuzzling at his side, Sora unveiling the ups and downs of his turbulent crush on Kairi, Sora snoring softly propped on his shoulder after the last midnight show. Just Sora and no one else.
When Riku knocked the door -since the bell had succumbed and consequently passed on two years ago with Sora's promises to fix it- and butterflies started fluttering in his stomach once more (Sora-related stuff tended to have that effect on him), his mood rose from the hypothetic mental floor because being able to be with Sora right now was the cure to his sore soul.
He still was affected by children screeches, however he managed somehow to smile at Sora's mom—and she deserved it anyways, for breeding such a magnificent son.
With a slight smirk and with butterflies flapping relentlessly, Riku rushed upstairs and opened the second door to the left only to find Sora sitting in the middle of a messy jumble of clothes sprawled in the carpet.
"Dude, your room was struck by a hurricane or what?" At the noise, blue eyes darted to Riku's face. It looked like he was analyzing and thinking why he was standing there. Riku used that time to get inside and brush some white locks from his eyes that were bothering him.
Without a proper warning, Riku was pinned against the wall and before he could catch up with that, Sora was giving away all his stress by means of shaking Riku by the shoulders.
"Fuck, Riku! It's terrible!" he gave one last desperate shake to poor dizzy Riku and clenched his shoulders "It's happened and now I'm doomed!"
"Okay, just—ouch, stop that and calm down" the grip loosened but his tanned hands remained there in case their user had another panic attack. Riku lowered his gaze to sad blue eyes in anguish, and then squeezed reassuringly the place where shoulder and neck joined "What happened?" his voice was edging the 'just friends' protocol and his daring trace of Sora's soft neck bashed it in. Guilt showed in, since he was highly aware that Sora wouldn't take notice of this and that he was practically taking advantage of him.
"I asked Kairi out."
Riku never had liked Kairi and considering recent discoveries of Sora being the love of his life and such, he'd justifiably began to hate her, so it must be noted and admired how his heavy disgust didn't crawl to his face and instead, he just rose his brows pretending to be surprised and not hating himself and Kairi.
"Like, finally?" Riku shrugged as an excuse to look away. Even if he kept under control all his facial movements, Sora had an amazingly annoying ability to read him; eye contact was his means for it and it was scarily accurate.
"And she said yes!" his hands let go of Riku just a moment to emphasize said experienced trauma.
"I still don't see the problem here" Riku's head tilted a bit and he made a huge effort to understand his pain. How this simple event, one that Sora had craved for, meant total devastation escaped him, though.
"How can you not see it?" the tight grip was safely around his shoulders.
This was considered by Riku when choosing his next words because he didn't want to trigger another panic attack and that last jerk had bumped his head against the wall and it hurt. "Well, let me guess… You're afraid of rejection, aren't you?" he smirked softly at Sora's attentive eyes.
Wrong tone; he just had enough time to move away from the hard beige wall (and closer to Sora) before another frenzy lapsus tried to separate his head from the rest of his body.
After Sora regained some confidence (somewhat) and Riku convinced him for then tenth time that everything was going to be okay and no, he wasn't going to blow up tomorrow in any way, they sat side by side over the lump that was Sora's bed—the latter's hands securely resting over his lap, for Riku's tranquility.
Some minutes later, Sora threw at Riku all his questions in behalf of success—because Riku was one year older and that should mean he had some kind of experience with this dating business.
"So, what I'm I supposed to wear?" Sora's head leaned back and to the left to peer properly at Riku's rejoiced (and almost laughing) expression.
"Well, I guess something that's not too flashy but noticeably out of the usual" he nodded in sarcastic agreement with what he'd just said.
"To make a casual but good impression, right?" there was a weird sound next to Sora and, when he peered to his side once more, he identified said annoying sound as Riku snorting.
Riku, on his defense, just couldn't believe how seriously was this kid taking it—and this was Kairi what they were talking about. Same old and known smart-ass Kairi who hanged with them since Riku's middle school freshman year—such a long time and it sucked (for Riku).
After all and Riku taking pity on his sad existence, they picked up and outfit that was so perfect that Sora was amazed he hadn't come up with that before. Of course, the older boy had some good perception skills and secretly chose the second best combination—well, the fifth or so…whatever. The point was in Sora's eyes it still was amazingly perfect and now he could trust fully on Riku's foggy experience he claimed to own.
Despite this and all the years they knew each other, when Sora had to move on to more—practical inquiries, his hands clenched whatever was under his palms (his jeans) and he licked his lips a bit. He could anticipate his accusatory off-key voice breaking.
"Okay. I take her to some place nice. I know that but—"
"But what?"
"What if she wants to kiss…" Sora pulled the hem of his shirt because his off-key voice had positively broken there—he frowned at Riku's continuous snicker "or something?"
"I dunno. I suppose that'll be a good sign…"
Sora examined the taller body incline back and Riku's long arms bend behind his worry-less head; but Sora didn't pout because it bothered him that his best friends was oblivious and mostly apathetic to his pain.
"The face she pulls after could be a good sing. I need to make sure it is." Slowly but safe, he was moving to the question that was forcing his fingers to wrinkle merciless his hemps.
"Yeah, I suppo—"
"Kiss me." He lowered his voice a couple of decibels "Please?"
Behind irreverent white locks, aquamarine eyes looking wide behind them—and time decided to freeze enough for Riku to notice his parted lips silently wanted to reproduce his astonishment. Sora considered his words, considered that both of them were teenagers (and their tendency to misunderstand) and the implication a statement like that was bound to bring; all that together and altering his features with adorable frowns and pouts.
Riku considered the same things and the overwhelmed butterflies fluttered like there was no tomorrow and the icy words of negativity couldn't keep them on hold for much. However, it couldn't be. It couldn't be that, could it? But maybe--
"It's just to know what I'm facing!" Sora raised his palms and stared at Riku's tee "It's nothing weird!"
Nope, it wasn't.
It should be noted once more how the quick recovery of his negativity killed the butterflies (in his mind, it was a dense green cloud of insecticide). This didn't disturb his perfectly controlled expression. Even though his face felt a bit strained, he forced his mouth to smile. It seemed as Sora hadn't perceived the quiver of his upper lip and Riku was so grateful for that.
"Thank God, you scared me for a second." he had to close his eyes, though. It was easy to be a hypocrite this way "So—you haven't kissed anyone yet?"
"Yes, I have! Okay? Plenty of times!" Sora's voice faltered at Riku's skeptic brow "Well, not that many times…" now it was his mouth tilting upwards and that judging raised brow! "Fine, only one time!" after hearing it, Sora watched him smirk satisfied and the boy wondered, pushed by hurt pride, if maybe it had been a bad idea to ask Riku; fuck his damn experience. "Whatever—the point is I can't really remember my fricking first and only kiss and I want this one to be perfect—or at least good enough to earn a second date."
Riku saw the desperate glint in his eyes and opted for stop teasing the poor kid; he'd relied completely on Riku and although he loathed the girl in question, he'd always been and still was defenseless against that pleading tone, too warm and close to him.
xxXXxx
"You approach a ninety percent…" Sora's piercing and resolute stare absorbing his explanation looked good on him "If she wants, she'll cover the other ten."
Sora hummed thoughtfully to his socks.
If Sora said he'd gotten than phrase from a romantic movie, Riku would totally deny it until the Earth started spinning backwards. Because he hadn't. Seriously! No—it wasn't from a romantic movie. That and he had stopped watching Universal's Monthly-Chick-Flick during gray Thursday's Nights long ago (Last week and it'd been 'Hitch')
Sora hummed more, index tapping his chin.
He loved Sora, but when his lips parted, Riku was plotting something to keep this thing he didn't do as a secret. It involved Yakuzas, a sack and a thrilling round of the Russian roulette—it could be a fine shallow, billion-earning action movie.
"I get the concept but—" Sora explained. Riku should've been relieved, but he was too busy making up a Theme Song for the thriller. Then, he focused more on Sora and his brown hair, a gravity-defying beauty.
"Hm?"
"Kiss me!"
Riku had been dozing off a bit, but that definitely woke him up and—did this butterflies never fucking die?!
"WHAT?! No!"
"Aww—why not?" Sora's hand tugged demandingly his shirt, pass the arm and close to his neck. The movement made the kid swing forward and back; moving forward and back created an air current and the air current draw the scent of coconut and Sora.
"Because—I…" it was a bizarre situation, because his inner voice told him to give in (and maybe Sora would hug him) and enjoy. But his godamned conscience was aware of how discontented he would be later. Nevertheless, Sora had his winning ace and leaned closer, pulling his 'You know I'm fricking cute and you can't resist my sad kitten eyes' face "I—ar…"
After Riku didn't fully recovered from that low blow –however, Sora was unaware of his mighty persuasion abilities- and felt most of his senses a bit numb, his walls stumbled down and the war was over. Winner: Pretty and tempting Sora.
xxXXxx
Riku tried, really tried to remember what could possibly had happened that he was striding towards such a complicated, compromising and dangerous situation to start with; He considered it was a bit too alarming how confident Sora looked and so eager to learn. The musing time of considering this a bad idea and such was long over, though.
"So," the sound of the 'o' stretched while his body twisted to face his student "we'll make a small dramatization first, okay?" Sora agreed and Riku's eyes were forced to blink in perplexity. "Eh—there're many circumstances that could be considered as a prelude to kissing, like the common warm uncomfortable silence. But keep in mind never, ever ask her 'Can I kiss you?'."
"I can't…" his skeptic, insecure tone was accompanied by a silent 'why?'.
"Many girls don't like this. I don't know if she is part of the group that labels this as a romanticism killer…but why take the risk?"
Sora's mouth went round, nodded --and bowed a bit-- at his master's great wisdom.
"We'll act that prelude. I'll be you and you'll be Kairi." Riku cleared his throat, directed a meaningful stare at Sora, smirking.
(Flirt Mode: ON)
"You having a good time?" the slow whisper vibrated towards Sora's direction, denoting confidence and the kid didn't have any chance against it; Sora restrained himself from looking too amazed and 'Wow, he's taking it very seriously—so cool!' like, Riku could tell. A tiny, faint shade of pink tinted his face and it was just too cute—Riku was the one restraining now.
"Uh—yeah!" Sora faked a girly voice which didn't resembled Kairi's at all—that was enough to love it. He shot a small giggle, nasal and a bit retarded. Just like Kairi's. Riku felt his lips tense because the laughter was coming; Sora hunched a bit and a wide grin crossed his face. Then looked away because if he saw Riku, he'll be bending over -and in consequence, rolling on the floor- laughing his ass off. "Eve—" soft unintended chuckle "—everything was perfect and so pretty. This date is like totally the bestest one I've ever had!"
"That's not like Kairi, it's like Naminè" the pause button was pressed and momentarily the dramatization froze. As a result, Sora was himself, Riku was Riku and very close to the other, suddenly feeling the heat irradiated from the other's body; foreheads getting nearer and on the verge of touching. The kid murmured something approaching to 'Yeah, I know' and Riku flinched and almost died when the brush of his breath made it more real.
However, Riku kept the acting up because, really, he'd to be a little professional here.
"Really? I didn't notice because I'm sittin' by the most beautiful…" Riku stopped and reconsidered his words "person in the world". He played idly with Sora's hair, right on his nape. Their foreheads touched and Riku enjoyed the sweet, sweet joy of sharing the same air as Sora, feeling his breath even closer and his eyes closing, subtly stroking his cheeks. It was time for the 90% distance thing and he tilted his head to get the right angle and he couldn't believe this was fricking happening—his conscience could burn and die in hell for all he cared.
"Stop." The command was irrevocable. It made Riku jolt back, the 'Uncaring thought' hiding cowardly in a nook of his mind—Conscience took this chance to come back from hell and bite him, helped by his friend Fear…but please, please, that he hadn't noticed.
(Flirt Mode: Off and exiled for a while)
"I think I should be me and you Kairi"
Riku examined Sora and how serious he looked, kind of pissed. Because did he seriously intended making him the girl? That ruined the natural equilibrium of it, the perfect synchrony of the universe. Plus, he was taller.
After Riku pointed this and another reasons out, Sora classified him as Paranoid and after Sora recollected a blunt amount of pillows and sat on top of the pile, they resumed the prelude (Riku crossed his arms defiantly over his chest and Sora beamed, assuming the role of a romance novel hero).
Sora babbled --eyes absent, probably picturing a different situation-- some corny and lame flattering comment about beauty "—nd you're the most amazing girl" the word 'girl' should be highlighted "in the world. You're beautiful, smart and funny…" oh god, please not the trite speech of 'beautiful, smart and funny'. Sharply, intense blue eyes, much like the ocean and glowing with determination, landed on Riku. "…and I really like you." Too sultry words, in Riku's opinion, who was busy being dazzled and overwhelmed by sudden warmth to care anymore.
Riku didn't need to remember he was interpreting the girl. He stood still and quiet as Sora showed his intention of kissing him and he panicked—it was really going to happen. So, Riku waited patiently for Sora to shift over the pillow-pile, rest a hand on his shoulder for balance and move his ninety percent. Riku wasn't sure of what was happening, but moved his ten percent.
Sora posed a light peck, then another, seizing up the area and the reactions he received from different movements. Slid his right hand to Riku's nape, elbow a bit past the resting place, inclining his head to the side and he pressed harder. Their mouths where barely open, but the solid teeth contact tickled. Jaws gave in and lips parted for Riku's content—and he desperately had been waiting for this.
Sora's tongue moved shyly, in an experimental way, slowly gaining more confidence. At this point, Riku judged as fitting sliding a hand under Sora's shirt and trace his skin, most probably getting out of his character (Kairi). In the end, he placed it at Sora's side, squeezed the fabric when Sora made a particularly nice move with his tongue.
The kid started backing and Riku mused if it'll be pushing it to bite slightly his lip—nah. He was teaching him, after all. Sora yelped; Riku kept his eyes shut but he could sense Sora's bright, cherry-red blush.
He opened his eyes; Sora was a blurry tanned and panting stain—until he adjusted to the light yet again. Huh, there was that welcoming heated, blushed face. Riku smirked and Sora punched his arm.
xxXXxx
He knew it would happen. He knew—and it did.
Now he was probably taking that whor—er, girl to somewhere apart and sweet-talk in her ear. And he was here moping.
Riku rested or tensed sprawled on the carpeted floor of his room. iHome's volume at max. He was here, feeling frustrated, anger flowing inside of him. Anger against everything: at Sora, for liking Kairi and incorporate her to their perfect duo; at Kairi, for existing and being terrible irresistible for Sora; at himself for being a pitiful fucking coward.
All the energy concentrated tingled, wanting to be unleashed; his body wanted to move and do something. However, self-pity prevented any of this and fixed Riku's eyes at the white roof, lips mouthing the lyrics and limbs abnormally immobile. Because of that (and a previous half an hour round trip on his bike to the mall, carrying Sora the outward journey), he ended up confined in his room –it wasn't absolutely shut; his mother had removed the security lock-, feeling dramatic and moping around. It wasn't as bad as it sounded. He had a donut with strawberry icing and a tropical mix smoothie.
He let the time pass, the sunlight move downwards and a bit to the side, getting orange. He figured that with a bit of luck (bad luck) Kairi should be enjoying the marvel of making out with Sora by now and he couldn't blame her, it was Sora they were talking about; absolutely adorable, lovable and sunny-smile Sora.
Knowing him, he'd most surely planned a day-long date so his best friend's promise of a phone report to Riku with the good news would be fulfilled at least somewhere around 8 pm.
His digital desk clock alarm read 6:13. This was his Summer Torture.
The sound of Sora's ringtone on the background (Best Friend –Toy Box. So lame… Kairi'd picked it and Sora just followed her. Evil bit—er, girl) triggered an invisible spring that shot him up. He rummaged through the suspicious heap of stuff near his closet. Two minutes ago, his mobile had landed on it, turning Chipie (yes, it had a name; Kairi's courtesy and Sora-supported, yet again) inevitably into a lost child/technological device.
The song was in the middle of 'You should get a best friend too' when Riku found it.
"Hello? Sora?"
"Riku…"
"What's up? How was it?" pretending support was something annoyingly easy lately "I bet she's all yours now…"
"Eh—" he deflated against the speaker "Not really…"
"It couldn't have been so bad…" Riku felt guilty, extremely guilty because Sora had news but they were most surely no good at all, as he had expected and he couldn't deny most of the time he was moping, he'd wished for it.
"Riku, she not only rejected me" Sora's voice pitch would gradually rise when frustrated, but he kept it low and even. Riku turned off the iHome to understand his soft gloom-emitting whisper "but she threw me the 'It's not you it's me' speech…"
"That sucks man" Riku leaned back, feeling not as sad as he should be. It wasn't like he enjoyed it; he just found it amazingly relieving.
"Then she retreated and told me than in fact, it wasn't her but me."
"Ouch"
"Yeah, I know. Can you believe that?" there was some rustling at the other end and the sound of chewing. Sora had picked a bag of chips "Of course, she told me she wanted to be friends. Really, those two things exclude mutually" Riku uttered 'huh?'. The impatient huff made a weird buzzing noise "Being friends and that she rejected me…"
"So you didn't need the kissing lessons after all"
"…no"
"Sora…" Riku heard the tight lump in the kid's throat and imagined Sora's eyes lowering to the gray kitchen's floor, the frown not directed at anything in particular "want some company?"
There was a long pause, then a deep pained sigh "Please."
xxXXxx
When he saw Sora again, he noticed his outfit was perfect and that his skin still smelled slightly like soap. His hair looked soft and shinny, after suffering Sora's monthly hair wash and Riku suspected he'd used the apple-cherry shampoo.
But something was wrong in the way his lips were tensed, paled by the action and in the way his brows drew together. His gaze wandered from Riku's sneakers and his own to random irregularities on his carpet.
Of course, Riku hadn't expected much more than a small laconic and insensitive –but quite comforting— met to men chat. They sat on the floor side by side first and the situation seemed to be moving that way, there the two teens propped on the bed, no eye contact and the accepted distance between them.
But when Sora bended into a ball and his head leaned on Riku's shoulder he thought '…whatever' and put his arm around his shoulder, both very silent and Riku not really considering a thing or not thinking at all and liking the warmth of Sora near. The butterflies eventually ceased while Sora finally collapsed.
If Sora cried or not was a well-kept secret and Riku never told anyone because he was tied by the best friends rules which aren't written but everyone knows.
After an hour, or a bit less, they began a small talk about Philosophy, Aristotle and Kant. It leaded to important moral subjects and the questioning of one's own beliefs. However, if it brought a cheerful Sora full of energy, he could bear to see his values being shatter by subjectivity, Riku figured.
Things were rather fine and Sora looked stable again. Riku started laughing at some of the date-bloopers when the sound of rug crunching under footsteps interrupted them.
"Sweetie? Oh, hi Riku" it was Sora's mom. They could only see the upper part of her body and the telephone that she clutched against herself. The hand covering the speaker indicated that she was having a conversation with someone "Can I talk to you for a second? It won't take long…" she added, more to Sora's behalf than Riku's presence.
Sora hesitated and glanced at Riku while getting up. Then, he proceeded to move slowly out. Riku obediently sat and waited. It was just him or Sora's mom looked kind of…concerned?
Fifteen minutes later, when Riku was too bored to stay in the same position, Sora came in. Riku couldn't quite get a glimpse of his face until he was fully motionless and next to him.
Sora was scowling.
"What happened?" it felt like it was the twentieth time he asked that.
"Roxas is moving back." Riku could only see Sora's blue eyes fixed down and one side of his pursed lips "He's gonna live with us again."
Oh. That couldn't be good.
I don't hate Kairi… much.
Happy New Year
From: Akiko Fujishima