Ichigo was lying on the ground, too wounded to get up, only able to lift his eyes to see her standing with her back to him.
He couldn't feel the pain from his wounds, which were most likely fatal.
He couldn't feel the burning sting on his hand, where she had kicked him.
He couldn't feel the cold, hard ground underneath him.
And he couldn't feel the heavy rain falling on his back.
All Ichigo could feel was the pain caused by her words.
The agony in his chest when she looked over her shoulder at him, with tears in her eyes, shouting at him, ordering him not to follow.
No words could describe how he felt as he watched her step into the gate that would take her away from his world. Away from him.
He was helpless. And would never see her again.
*
Ichigo could do nothing but watch her deadly still body, enveloped in an orange glow, and hope she would soon be okay.
Only a few minutes earlier, he had watched as he came, and before she could even finish telling him to run away, he had run his hand through her, and she fell.
And Ichigo couldn't avenge her. He couldn't defeat the one responsible for hurting her.
But no, who was he kidding?
He could blame no one but himself.
It was all because he had been too helpless, too weak! He had stood and done nothing as she was taken down!
And now he could only watch as someone else helped her recover. Because he couldn't even do anything to heal her. That's how helpless he was.
What good was all the power he'd gained if he couldn't help her!
*
He stopped dead in his tracks, deaf to the questioning cries of the small girl he was carrying.
The original purpose of the mission completely forgotten.
Because his mind could only process one thing.
Rukia.
He wasn't good at feeling spiritual pressure, but he felt hers. He always felt hers.
And he felt as soon as it happened. He felt when it dropped so quickly, it practically disappeared.
Fear-no, not fear- Terror filled his entire being and gripped his heart, because he knew the implications of what he felt.
Then that man, the one with the eerie eyes that would forever haunt him appeared, and he voiced his fears, mercilessly assuring him that she was gone.
But he didn't believe it.
Because it couldn't be true.
Because she…
She had promised, she'd promised she'd come back alive.
And he had trusted her.
The alternative was simply not possible. He refused to even consider it.
And he would, by all means, save her.
*
"Rukia."
He hissed as he snapped awake.
He was on the floor of his 'small bedroom', as she herself had described it, and his head was resting on one arm, at the edge of his currently occupied bed.
Rukia was lying on his bed, still dressed in her shinigami robes, breathing evenly in her sleep.
Ichigo stared worriedly at her figure, afraid that if he looked away, that slow rise-and-fall of her chest would somehow stop.
In his mind, he remembered how just a few hours earlier, she had been in that same bed, lying on her stomach with her feet up, swinging them as she read one of the manga she got from who-knows-where. He remembered how she nearly bit his arm off when he tried to take it away from her to see what it was. Ichigo smiled faintly at the memory.
They had gotten a hollow call some time later, and they both left as usual, neither one suspecting that it wasn't an ordinary hollow, but one of the remaining few which Aizen had experimented on. Part of it's abilities was that it somehow blended it's toxic reiatsu into the wounds it inflicted.
They weren't sure how it worked, but that didn't matter, what mattered was that Rukia had been injured. She had been injured and he hadn't been able to do a damn thing about it!
He couldn't protect her again.
His fist clenched at his side in anger and frustration.
How many times do the people I care about have to get hurt before I stop being so helpless!
Why her?!
He remembered how guilty and apologetic Inoue had looked after not being able to properly heal the wounds.
Ichigo knew, however.
He knew it wasn't her fault.
What would you say to me, if you were awake? Rukia?
He stared at her, and in his mind he heard a distinct, sharp voice telling him
'Fool! Wipe that stupid look off your face. It's nobody's fault I got hurt, so hurry up and get over it!'
His face broke into a grin. She'd definitely tell him off like that.
But she didn't know, she couldn't see.
"I want to protect you. I want to be able to keep you safe for once." he whispered, knowing she couldn't hear him. "You mean too much to me, Rukia." he admitted, somewhat to himself.
Suddenly, her silence was maddening. He couldn't take it! He needed her reassurance! Not knowing what else to do, he reached out and took her limp hand in his. It felt too cold for his liking, and he squeezed it tight, hoping to give her some warmth, and at the same time, needing the contact.
"Rukia, you have to wake up." He suddenly found himself pleading. "Please wake up!" I need you. He added silently.
Met with silence once more, he buried his head in the white sheets, fighting the stinging in his eyes.
"I-Ichi…"
His head snapped up so fast he might have cracked his neck.
"Rukia!" he exclaimed. He gripped her hand tighter than ever and stood up to better look at her.
Her violet eyes were open, but drooping, as if she was fighting some terrible weariness, and she seemed to be struggling to form words.
"Y-You… fool." her voice was slightly broken, but her insult held all the strength it always did.
Ichigo couldn't help but grin stupidly at this.
"I can't sleep with your pathetic whining." she spoke barely above a whisper, and her eyes slid shut as soon as she finished, but there was the slightest hint of a smile on her lips as she went back to sleep.
Ichigo smiled back at her. She'd woken up. She'd woken up for him. And though she didn't put it into words, he knew that Rukia was telling him not to worry, and was promising that she would be alright.
And he believed her.
Because without her, nothing else mattered.
***
First IchiRuki oneshot of the year people! (Mine, anyways) A bit on the angsty side but, hey, what can you do? :P
Some feedback please?
It'll make me happy :D And doesn't making people happy rewarding on it's own? So don't be lazy and press that little green button!
Oh and, if you have any ideas, feel free to send them this way, I wanna get as much done as I can before school starts^^