A/N- Everyone is going to hate me after this, but oh well! I've got to do what I've got to do. This crack fanfiction is one of a kind and I'm proud to say that. I don't know what possessed me to write this, but IT'S HAPPENING! I hope you will continue to love my writing and not look down on me because of this. Ha, just kidding! Well, I hope you like this very strange crack fanfiction!
"Wow. The sky looks so blue today." Shikamaru stated, putting a hand over his eyes so the sun's rays wouldn't harm him.
"The sky looks blue every day!" Naruto exclaimed.
The other teenager shrugged, "What's your point?"
"My point is that…" The blond seventeen-year-old looked over at Shikamaru only to see that he had already put his headphones back on and wasn't paying attention, "…you're hopeless." He sighed lazily; today had been a long day. School seemed to drag on for ages and all Naruto wanted to do was go home. Though, it was pleasant that he didn't have to walk home alone. Suddenly, there was a loud buzzing noise. Shikamaru paused his music, took off his headphones and unlocked his phone to read the text message. It was silent for a few seconds. "What?" Naruto asked.
"My mom's going to be home in two hours and I haven't cleaned my room." He groaned, "This is so troublesome."
The blue-eyed teenager blinked, "When did she ask you to clean your room?"
"Over a month ago." Shikamaru drug a hand down his face, "She got really sick of it this week and so I had to have had it cleaned by the time she comes home from work this evening."
"Okay." Naruto smiled, "You better go home then. I'll catch you later." His friend nodded and ran off. The blond sighed, "Back to walking home alone." He lived many, many miles away from the school he attended. The bus routes didn't reach that far so he always had to walk to a halfway point so the buses could get him. He had gotten his licenses last year a few months after he turned sixteen, but he didn't have enough money to buy a car.
The wind picked up for a few seconds before it would die down; it was quite annoying. Naruto huddled his jacket closer around him, his legs starting to ache from the few miles he's already traveled. The sun was slowly fading below the horizon and it was starting to drizzle. Luckily, he came across a small area of town with dozens of closed shops, all except one. The lights shone through the mild darkness to reveal and an older man. Naruto smiled and walked up to the shop, "Yo!"
"Ah!" The man looked startled for a second as he looked towards the entrance; his face was instantly replaced with a grin, "My boy, how are you?"
"I'm doing well, Teuchi. Tired as hell, but the school does do that to you." He chuckled lightly, taking a seat as the old man went behind the counter to make some ramen for his best customer, "Where's Ayame?"
Teuchi stirred the boiling water full of hard noodles, "She's been ill as of lately, but I'm sure she's fine. She has more backbone than people give her credit for." The rain started to fall harder over the wooden roof as thunder crackled against the sky. He started cutting up some meat and vegetables to add to the ramen, "So, what have you been up to?"
The blond sighed, laying his head down on the counter, "I'm being bullied… again."
"Again!" Teuchi snarled, adding everything together in a large bowl, "What is it this time?"
"Because I'm gay, which shouldn't be a problem, but it seems like everyone is a homophobic asshole." The old man placed the bowl of ramen in front of Naruto once he'd lifted his head, "Thanks."
He looked curious, "How did they find out?"
Naruto stopped slurping his noodles and looked down at his hands, "Last week, do you remember when I told you I had a crush on Sasuke Uchiha?"
Teuchi smiled, "How could I forget? You looked so happy when you told me."
"Well, I told him that I had a crush on him and guess what he did?" He exclaimed.
"What?"
Naruto drug a hand through his blond locks, "He went total homophobic on me. He practically ran away crying for me to get away from him. Everyone was giving me weird glances the rest of the day and then guess what?"
"What?"
"That bastard posts a bunch of shit about me online. Shikamaru and Choji were the ones to show them to me – and I thanked them for that – but I was so furious, I couldn't speak the rest of the day." The blond sighed, looking at his half eaten bowl of ramen, twirling the chopsticks around, "Now everyone knows I'm gay and I've already lost four friends today."
"Sounds like you've had a rough day today." Teuchi ruffled his hair, "Ramen's on the house."
"Thanks, I owe you one." He smiled.
The old man waved his hands in front of his face, "No need." The two laughed until their conversation was cut off with the sound of a shout. They shared a look of curiosity before both of them were standing outside of Ichiraku's Ramen stand, looking into the dark night.
There were two men – probably around the same age – that were fighting against each other, which seemed a little one-sided. One of the men were on the ground, mud from the rain sticking to his coat and a hand wrapped tightly around his waist. The other one was standing, kicking the fallen man several times, over and over. "I-Indra! Please stop…" The muddy boy begged.
The one now known as Indra snarled, "That position was mine! You stole it from me!"
"You can have it if you'll just stop…" He coughed up blood as a more forceful kick hit him. He screamed in agony.
"Foolish little Ashura, even if I took it, no one would ever accept me as the owner!" He growled, kicking a few more times.
Naruto looked at Teuchi. The older man already knew what he was going to do and nodded his approval. The blond ran over and tackled Indra down onto the ground. He didn't even know what hit him until he was lying face down into the mud. Naruto hopped off of him quickly and lifted Ashura off of the ground, placing him away from his abuser. He looked to be barely keeping consciousness as blood dripped from his already soaking body. "You're going to be okay," Naruto whispered so only the worn out man could hear.
Indra stood up, the rain and mud making his coordination falter ever so slightly. He had black hair and red eyes. He wore a white expensive robe with a black long sleeved shirt underneath it. His black pants were baggy that covered his shoes. All of it was soaked and muddy, giving him a slightly crazed look. The blond glared at him, walking forward to stand in front of Indra. "You dare interfere with family matters?" The man asked.
"What you were doing is wrong!" He held up his fists as the wind picked up, "I don't care about what matters you were trying to fix, but a one-sided fight is not going to help. I'm not going to let you hurt someone who couldn't fight back for himself!"
Indra started running towards Naruto, his fists held up high. Once close enough, he swung at the blond, but he merely ducked down. Naruto quickly bounced back up, the top of his head hitting the underside of his chin. Alcohol assaulted his nose at the closeness he was at with Indra; he was drunk. The seventeen-year-old jumped back, hating the alcoholic smell that kept wafting into his nostrils. The black haired, red eyed man stumbled backward, groaning in agony. "BASTARD!" He screamed, "I will get the company!" Indra snarled loudly and stared into the eyes of Ashura before running away. Naruto didn't chase.
The blond walked over to Ashura and knelt down, "Teuchi, we need to get him to a hospital or he'll die from blood loss."
"There is only one, but that one is too far away. With the way this young man looks, he needs medical attention now." He responded.
Naruto thought for a second before looking away from Ashura, "Do you think Granny can help him? She's only a few miles away."
"Great thought." Teuchi went through a door and came back seconds later, handing Naruto a key, "Take my car, it'll be quick. I have to close up shop and tend to Ayame, but I leave it to you."
He swung the injured man's arm around his shoulders and stood slowly, balancing Ashura's weight, "Thanks, I'll bring it back before school tomorrow morning."
"It's alright, you can keep it. Ayame decided the other week that she was getting me a new car and I was wondering what to do with it." Teuchi chuckled, "Now, you don't argue with me. Take the car and help this young man."
"Yes, sir," Naruto smiled, walking with Ashura to the parking lot. Teuchi's car – now Naruto's – was a dark green Jeep with a few scratches, but nothing too hazardous. He opened the passenger door and lightly put Ashura into the seat, buckling him up before shutting the door. He ran around the other side of the Jeep and hopped in. Starting the Jeep up, he pulled out of Ichiraku's Ramen's parking lot and onto the road. The rain pounded onto the windshield as the windshield wipers wiped it away.
Once they were on an empty long road with minimal turns and curves, Naruto looked over at Ashura for a few seconds. He hadn't gotten the chance to see the details this man provided. He had dark brown – almost black – hair that was short, but wild. He had a lighter shade of brown to describe his eyes. He was wearing an ordinary outfit, unlike Indra. He wore a red – now muddy and soaked – t-shirt with a black coat over it. His blue jeans were torn in a few places, probably due to the earlier fight and he wore black sneakers. Naruto looked back to the slowly flooding road.
"You didn't have to do that," Ashura stated, his eyes on the road.
Naruto shook his head, "Yes I did.
"Why?"
"I don't like seeing one-sided fights." He responded quietly.
"I'm a pacifist, I don't want to fight… especially against my family." The brunette sighed, trying to keep his eyes opened.
Naruto glanced over at the sad look on his face, "I was once a pacifist, but then, I started to not give a shit." Ashura laughed but then hissed at the pain in his side. He groaned and put pressure onto that area. The blond smiled slightly, "By the way, my name's Naruto."
"Ashura."
"You said that you didn't like fighting against your family." He stated, "Who was that other guy?"
"My older brother, Indra. He's always been a… powerhouse. He's always wanted to be in charge of everything and have all of the power he could accumulate in the world." Ashura took a deep breath in, "I thought he'd grow out of it once he got out of high school, but it hasn't stopped."
"Damn, I bet it was rough growing up with him." The blond pointed out.
The older male chuckled and shook his head, "It really wasn't. I was younger than him and dubbed less superior, so he never thought of me as a bump in the road."
Naruto looked confused for a few seconds before speaking, "Then what changed?"
"We graduated from high school and worked at our father's company. It was great for a few years, but then our father started to get ill and sometimes didn't come into work for a week at a time." Ashura sighed, shaking his head, "He was going to give the company away in his will. Two days ago, he told his company who he would give the company to."
"Let me guess…" Naruto put a finger to his chin in fake concentration, "He chose you."
"Precisely."
"Then Indra went and drank himself away, lost his marbles, then came after you for the company." He stated matter-of-factly. Ashura merely nodded. "Hey, Ashura, how old are you anyways?" Naruto questioned, "You kept talking about how this all went down after you got out of high school."
"I just turned 20 last June." He stated, "And how old would you be?"
"17 and still growing!" Naruto made a peace sign with a side of a cheesy grin.
"You have your license?" Ashura asked.
He nodded, "I've had them since I turned 16."
"Ah."
The car was silent for a while, the two just wallowing in the some-what-happy conversation they'd just had. Naruto gave a small yawn before glancing over at his passenger, "How are you feeling?"
"A little numb, but that could be from the rain." He mumbled slightly.
The blond shook his head in shame, "Man, your brother beat the ever-loving shit out of you."
"Really now?" Ashura sarcastically responded.
Naruto chuckled, "We'll be at Granny's in about ten minutes. I hope you'll make it there, I wouldn't want you to croak on me."
"Naruto, I'll be fine." The brunette smirked, "Quick questioned, is your grandmother a doctor?"
"She's a retired doctor, but she does do house visits in her free time… which is actually all the time." He grinned, "Though, she isn't actually my biological grandmother."
Ashura looked to the dark sky and furrowed his eyebrows, "Why were you at that shop and not at home with your family, they're probably worried about you?"
"I don't have anyone waiting for me at home. The only family I have are the people like Granny and Teuchi who just walked into my life and decided to never leave." He smiled sadly, "I've been alone for a while. I'm an orphan and my foster families never liked me. I moved all over the city, but no one ever wanted me to stay."
"Must have been hard." The brunette looked into the driver's light blue eyes.
"Hard doesn't even describe the experience." Naruto laughed sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel, "All of the foster families around where I lived never wanted me and the orphanage got sick of it, so they kicked me out. I was thirteen when that happened."
Ashura's eyes widened, "They're not allowed to do that!"
"Well, it seems that the laws don't apply to them. Luckily, I met Teuchi – the man who was in that shop – and he took me in. He fed me, clothed me, and even let me take refuge in his home." He smiled in memory, "When I got my license, I decided to get an apartment because I had always felt like I wasn't welcomed in Teuchi's home. I also recently got a job that helps me pay for my apartment." The car slowed down, then took a left into a driveway. There was one light on with a shadow of a woman sitting at her dining table looking at photos in a book. "I'm going to tell Granny that we're here and then I'll come back for you, alright?" Naruto asked.
"Alright."
Naruto got out of the car and raced to the porch, knocking on the door a few times. There was a lazy shuffle of feet walking towards the door. A blond, busty woman opened up and looked shocked, "Naruto? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be home."
"I was going home, but I went and got ramen when there was this crazy one-sided fight. I managed to break it up, but one of them ran away and left the other one in the dirt." He said, "He's really injured. Teuchi and I didn't know how severe his wounds were. We didn't want to take the risk of driving almost a hundred miles to the nearest hospital. You're the closest doctor, can you help him?"
She looked towards the car then at her adoptive grandson, "Bring him inside and take him to the guest room."
Naruto beamed and ran back to the car, opening the passenger door. He slowly, but surely helped Ashura to his feet and inside the warm house. Naruto's adoptive grandmother stopped the two. "Young man, you better be very thankful that my grandson decided to help you." She stated, "You may call me Tsunade."
"Yes, ma'am." Ashura bowed his head as Naruto steered them away and up the stairs into the guest room, "She seems nice."
"Don't be mean, she's just overprotective." Naruto chuckled, setting him down on a chair. The light illuminated Ashura's injuries. He scrunched up his nose, "Damn, you're bleeding everywhere."
"That's why I am going to ask you to go downstairs and make some tea. I need some room." Tsunade smirked, standing in the doorway.
He nodded, looking between Ashura and Tsunade, "Call me up if either of you need anything else." He waved quickly and ran out of the room to make some tea.
"Take your shirt off." She commanded. He complied, doing it a slower than Tsunade would have liked, but he did it anyway. She pointed to the bed, "Lay down." He stood on shaky feet and waddled lazily over to the bed, laying himself down slowly. He groaned quietly but didn't complain. Tsunade started to examine him.
Naruto fiddled with his new car key as he waited for the tea to boil. Suddenly, there was a vibration coming from his back pocket. He pulled out his phone and before he could unlock it, he had blink a few times. It was already ten in the afternoon. He unlocked it and went to his messages. It was from read: Yo! Where are you, dude, I can't find you? The party just started about an hour ago and it is WICKED! There are hot girls EVERYWHERE!
Naruto shook his head and texted back: Sorry, Kiba, I can't make it. There's something going on. And… send.
Not even three minutes later, there was another message. Dude! You always do this. EVERY TIME there is a party or something even close to that, you always back off. Are you scared of socializing or something?
He sighed: No Kiba, I'm not scared of socializing. Something important came up, that's all.
Why can't you come? He texted.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Try me.
Okay, so I was coming home from school with Shikamaru, but he had to leave. I walked for a while but decided to eat at Ichiraku's when this crazy one-sided fight between brothers broke out. I managed to break it up, but the younger brother was really injured and the older one left. I took the younger brother to Granny's so she could patch him up.
The other side was quiet for a few minutes before he received another message: I believed you until the part about you breaking up a fight.
Thanks.
I'm serious! You'd never be able to break up a fight. You'd just end up hurting yourself.
I could take you down with a hand tied behind my back.
Me? As if! If you've forgotten, I'm in the wrestling club. I'd smother you.
No way.
Want to bet on it?
Why not?
How much do you propose we bet on?
Twenty dollars each.
Sounds good to me, when and where at?
After school tomorrow at the park.
Hey, that's where Lee beat the shit out of Gaara.
And now they're best friends, but is that cool?
Yeah, I will win.
No way.
Well, talk to you later, loser.
Bye, snob.
Ratchet.
Bitch.
Touché.
Later.
Bye.
Naruto locked his phone and poured the tea into three glasses. He put them on a tray along with the teapot and carried them up into the guest room upstairs. Tsunade looked to be finishing wrapped Ashura's wounds when he walked in with a big, goofy smile on his face. She sighed, "What's gotten you in a good mood?"
"Nothing."
"Spill it." She commanded.
"Kiba bet that I couldn't beat him in a fistfight." He shrugged, "We're betting twenty dollars each."
Tsunade started laughing hysterically, "Don't put the poor boy in the hospital."
"Hospital?" Ashura questioned looking between the laughing former doctor and his smirking savior, "Why would he end up there?"
"Granny there is the world's heavyweight boxing champion." Naruto pointed to her who just grinned, "She taught me everything she knows."
"For self-defense reasons. Nothing more." She smirked, finishing with the last bandages, "Alright, you're done." Naruto grabbed two glasses of hot tea. He walked over and gave Tsunade one before handing the other to Ashura. The two sipped happily. The blond haired woman sighed, "Listen, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave after you've finished drinking your tea. I am leaving early in the morning and I would let you both sleep here, but truth is, I don't trust you around my grandson." She pointed to Ashura.
"It's fine. When there is a stranger in your home, you usually don't trust them, do you?" He asked.
"Exactly, so Naruto?" She looked over at him who was finishing his third cup of tea, "I am going to ask you to take this young man somewhere. A hospital, drop him off at his house; somewhere, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She walked over to Naruto and kissed the top of his head, "You be good now and don't stay on the road too long. Love you, kiddo. I'll see you soon." Tsunade hugged him and walked out of the room.
Naruto smiled and walked over to Ashura. The blond helped the bandaged man to his feet and walked him out the front door. "You two seem really close," Ashura commented once they were in the Jeep and were pulling out of Tsunade's driveway.
"We are." Naruto stated, "Look, there's nothing around here for miles. No hotel, no hospital, nothing. My house is fifteen minutes from here, you could stay the night and then I can drive you home the next morning."
"Don't you have school?" He asked.
"I do, but my morning classes are all online. I don't even have to be at school until afternoon." He smiled, "So?"
Ashura nodded, "That's alright with me. I just hope that I'm not invading your privacy."
"You're not." He reassured.
"Alright."
Naruto pulled out his phone and held it out, "Do you need to call anyone?"
"No." He shook his head, "I have the rest of the week off and I live alone." The blond nodded to the response as the phone flashed brightly. Naruto glanced at the message quickly and sighed, turning off the phone and stuffing it in his pocket. He held a small scowl. Ashura suddenly became curious, "What was that all about?"
His blue eyes glanced over at the brunette. "I'm gay and I told this guy I had a crush on him. I not only found out that he didn't like me back, but he's a homophobic bastard!" Naruto barked out, "Then he started posting shit online about it all. I had kept my sexuality a secret for a while and now almost everyone in my school knows I'm gay."
"Don't fret too much, I'm bisexual and I had to deal with that same shit every day, but not from my classmates." Ashura gave a reassuring smile, "My father has set rules for when it comes to me dating. First time I brought a boy home to meet him, my father freaked out and sent him away. That boy broke up with me and never spoke to me afterward. My father only accepts women, no men."
"Damn." He slowed down the car and took a left. Naruto pulled into a dirt driveway that made the Jeep jostle and turns awkwardly. Ashura cursed a few times when the Jeep rocked too much and the blond would sheepishly apologize. The Jeep came to a stop in front of a one-story building and Naruto smiled, "It's not much, but its home." He opened the Jeep door, stepped out and came around to help Ashura out. The rain was still falling down, but not as hard as before.
The two walked up to the door and waited for Naruto to unlock the door. Once they were in the warmth flooded their cold systems and they hummed in harmony. "It looks nice," Ashura commented.
"Yeah." He agreed, "You can take a shower if you want. You can borrow some of my sweatpants because I'm sure you don't want to sleep in blood stained clothes."
"What about my bandages that your grandmother applied?" He questioned.
Naruto grinned, "Punching and kicking aren't the only things Granny taught me."
The brunette laughed, "Fine. I'll do that, thank you for letting me use your shower." Naruto went to his room and grabbed a pair of dark gray pants, handing them to Ashura before leading him to the bathroom.
"I'm going to make some dinner because I'm starving. You can have some when you're done." He grinned and left Ashura to his shower.
"Thanks!" The brown eyed man called out.
Naruto pulled out his phone once more and frowned. His name was tagged in a lot of pictures that read: #gayaf. There was even a contest that Sasuke made. He asked his mighty crowd of fangirls to make the most awful and cruel insult you could make to a gay man. Tears formed in his eyes as he saw some of his friends give insults and horrific names. He growled and the battery out of his phone before throwing it on the couch. Naruto didn't need that type of negativity in his life. Naruto walked into the kitchen and plugged his MP3 Player into his stereo. He flipped to one of his favorite songs, Diablo by Simon Curtis, and started to sing along as he prepared some food. He sang to the ceilings and didn't give one fuck about who heard him. He's been having a rough day.
Ashura was looking for a shampoo bottle when he heard Naruto start singing. He froze and listened carefully. "Here's the thing, yeah we started out friends. But this is not a Kelly Clarkson song and not how it ends. Everything I thought about you was lies. Thought that I knew you, but you were disguised. Everything I thought about you was bogus. I speak for the both of us, time to say bye." Naruto continued to sing his heart off and Ashura couldn't help but smile at the unique voice the blond had. It was deep, but not low enough to be considered bass. It was a mellowed, but emotional voice that was loud and boisterous. The brunette continued his shower after his savior finished singing the song.
"My savior…" Ashura thought quietly, scrubbing off all of the blood. The water at the bottom of the shower was red and muddy. He touched a few cuts and bruises on his skin, counting them all. "27 cuts… 11 bruises… great." He groaned. If anyone saw these marks, he'd most definitely be questioned. Within fifteen minutes, he was out of the shower and in Naruto's sweatpants. Ashura grabbed his dirty, bloody, and torn clothes before walking out of the bathroom. A great aroma filled his nostrils and he smiled contently at the smell.
"Did my invitations disappear? Why'd I put my heart on every cursive letter? Tell me why the hell no one is here! Tell me what to do to make it all feel better! Maybe it's a cruel joke on me. Whatever, whatever. Just means there's way more cake for me. Forever, forever." The song paused before starting up again, Naruto's voice becoming louder, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Cry if I want to! I'll cry until the candles burn down this place. I'll cry until my-" The blond had turned around and saw Ashura standing in the kitchen doorway listening to his singing. He blushed, his mouth shut as he continued cooking dinner.
"Oh, so now you're stopping?" The brunette laughed, limping over to the couch in the living room to sit on. He groaned quietly. Naruto was still blushing in embarrassment. He stirred the pot of soup and put it on low. Ashura rolled his shoulders before calling out, "Hey, what should I do with my clothes?"
"Well, whatever isn't torn, I guess you could put them in the laundry room." The blond popped his head into the living room.
Ashura sighed, "It's all torn."
Naruto shrugged, "I don't know how to help you then." He came into the room with two bowls in his hands. He placed the bowls on the coffee table in front of the couch before leaving the room. The brunette started to eat the soup; the warm liquid running down his throat felt great! Ashura smiled gratefully as his blond host came back with bandages. "I'm pretty sure you're going to need this." He grinned, sitting down beside Asura.
"Thanks for the food." He smiled at the teenager who started bandaging him up, "I didn't know you could cook."
"Remember when I told you that Teuchi took me in?" Naruto questioned, serious eyes glancing from Ashura to his slowly bandaged wounds, "Well, the old man taught me how to cook. More specifically, he taught me how to make soup out of anything."
The older male chuckled, "You are full of surprises, Naruto."
"I know." He grinned before going back to work. Within about ten minutes, Ashura was fully wrapped in gauze. "There." The blond sighed, rolling his shoulders.
"Thanks."
Naruto stood, holding out his hand, "Come on."
Curious as to what he means, Ashura grabbed the tan teenager's hand. The blond host pulled Ashura up and led him to his room. The brunette blinked, "What's this all about?"
"You can sleep in my bed since you're hurt. I'll sleep on the couch." Naruto was about to leave, but a hand caught his wrist.
Ashura shook his head, "I can't let you give your bed up for me. You've already saved my life, took me to a doctor, let me spend the night, and you gave me something to eat. Please, just sleep in your own bed."
He smiled sadly, "Just take the bed, Ashura." With that, Naruto shook the hand off of his wrist before walking out of his room, the door shutting behind him. The brunette stood awkwardly in the middle of Naruto's room but nonetheless, he still managed to slip under the covers and fall into a pleasant slumber.
