Some comedic drabble involving a conversation between Cutter and Van Buren as they leave the courthouse together. Van Buren puts her matchmaking skills to use in persuading Cutter to date a relative of hers who has a fetish for lawyers, but his eyes suddenly turn to Connie instead. Enjoy;-)

Category: Mike/Anita friendship; Mike/Connie romance.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order and its characters.

The Perks of Aging

By LTP-girl

Side by side, Lieutenant Anita Van Buren and EADA Michael Cutter treaded their way in silence down the courthouse steps, as they began to make their way towards Cutter's parked car around the corner.

Van Buren glanced up at the striking EADA. He may be an ass at times, but girrrl, he is lookin' fine! She mused, admiring the shocks of silver hair developing above each temple. She reflected on the first time she had ever laid eyes on him, back during the Fall of 1988. She had been making her way up to the then District Attorney, Adam Schiff's, office to give new evidence on a triple homicide her department at the 2-7 had been working on. She happened to remember this because the elevator wasn't working and she had to climb the flight of stairs, and tripped on a step on the fifth floor, which sent her, and the personnel file she had in her possession, flying. Nice one, Anita. It was then in the mad scramble of picking up the loose papers off the floor and suppressing her embarrassment, that she got her first glimpse of him. The young and gorgeous ADA, Michael Cutter, fresh out of law school, blind to the dozens of women, and some men, swooning over him as he made his way down the corridor of the Drug Division of the District Attorney's Office, with his maverick hairdo and the slight wink that could be hindered behind a boyish expression. It was enough to melt the heart of a girl from Washington Heights into a puddle of goo. And she had to admit, Cutter's looks had certainly improved even more so with age, over the twenty odd years since.

Once they had reached the bottom of the steps, Cutter began to feel slightly uncomfortable, aware of Van Buren's steady gaze, her eyes fixed on him. He turned to catch her in the act, but was dismayed to find that she had already looked the other way.

She rubbed her hands together in face of the cold, and slid them into her coat pockets. She looked up at Cutter once again, who was now staring down at his feet as they continued to walk.

And then the topic of aging came out of nowhere.

"You're getting some nice grey hairs there, Councillor," she mentioned, sounding inquisitive. "What's your secret?"

Where the hell did that come from? Cutter shot the Lieutenant a shocked and slightly bemused gawk, surprised by the words that had escaped her mouth. Cutter had always known Van Buren to keep her relationship with co-workers on strictly professional grounds, so he thought it was quite bizarre for her to ask a question of such a personal nature, especially where a sensitive issue such as aging was concerned. "What's that supposed to mean, Lieutenant?" he asked, an awkward smile playing on his lips. Is she ribbing me for that courtroom stunt? I thought we had passed that. Over the past couple of months, he had apologised to her at nauseum, bought her dinner at fancy restaurants, escorted her to Mets games, and after pulling some strings, managed to get his hands on some red-hot tickets to a Broadway show her sister was desperate to see. What more could he do to show his remorse?

Van Buren stared down at the ground, as the two professionals strolled down the snow covered sidewalk. She blatantly carried on with the conversation, as though had not heard, or not listened to, what he had just said to her. "Those bags under your eyes, and the onset wrinkles are doing wanders for you as well, Mr Cutter," she sighed, and Cutter couldn't help but notice the disappointment in her tone. "It's different for women, though. You men can carry it off more easily. I wish I didn't have to look my age." She tutted with frustration, shaking her head.

"Are you implying that I look old, and I'm not what I used to be?" he shot back jokingly, finding the whole conversation to be very amusing, not to mention out of the ordinary.

Van Buren Shrugged casually. "Well, the girls love an older man these days," she replied with a chuckle, her tone slightly teasing.

He was left utterly speechless. Older man! Me? Cutter shrieked inside his head. Even in recent years, he had not once considered himself to be an older man, middle-aged maybe, mature at best, but never older. In fact, being Michael Cutter, the arrogant cutting-edge prosecutor he was, he thought he was doing pretty well for a forty-seven-year-old bureaucrat. Well enough to not be looked upon as older man. On that note, he was quite concerned by Van Buren's use of the word older, as he knew as well as anyone that the term was simply a polite way of describing a geriatric civil servant, too old not to keep his hands to himself, and who would be considered a deviate if to think otherwise. A dirty old man, to put it plainly.

Light snow began to fall, and Van Buren found that the small snowflakes that had so delicately landed in Cutter's dirty-blonde hair contrasted nicely with the flecks of silver-grey.

"My niece has no time for those cute young boys in her class," Van Buren continued as she stared into the distance, her voice slightly trailing. "She's too busy checking out hunky male-teachers." She glanced back up at Cutter. "And you have to admit, those young interns you've got down the DA's office sure give you and McCoy the eye. You've never noticed?"

A wry expression spread across his face. Well that certainly reamed true, at least to him. He would be lying if he said that young interns didn't on occasion presented as overtly interested in him, as well as his borderline veteran boss, but he had always taken their attention as nothing more than professional admiration. "I guess so." He smiled at her, humour in his eyes, assuming that she had been playing him the whole time, however this thought had been immediately contradicted with her comparatively serious expression. And he knew very well that, apart from her wisecracks, Van Buren seldom played games. "So... what are you saying, Lieutenant? That I should get with some peroxide-blonde twenty-year-old with a fake tan and five-inch stilettos?"

They stopped walking and joined a line of people waiting outside a taco vendor located on the side of the street.

"No of course not, Councillor," she assured him with a laugh. "I just think you should open your eyes a little wider when a young lady is giving you the come on. Hell, Jack McCoy does, and he's in his sixties and still popular with the ladies." She clamped a firm hand on his shoulder, noticing the hint of discouragement in his dark blue eyes. "And Mr Cutter, believe me, it happens on more occasions than you think."

They approached the window of the vendor and Van Buren quickly ordered their lunch.

Talk about filling the void of a girl who has daddy issues. Cutter rolled his eyes in disbelieve. "I'll have to remember that the next time Courtney bends over to refill the copy machine," he retorted, his tone harbouring a hint of sarcasm.

Cutter removed his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill, but Van Buren pushed his hand away. "No Councillor, lunch is on me this time," she told him.

He shrugged and slid his wallet back into his pants pocket.

She handed Cutter his taco, and they continued to make their way down the street. "You really should meet her," she said encouragingly.

Cutter's expression turned perplexed. "Meet who? Courtney, my intern? I already know her." His tone bordered on facetious.

"No, I mean my niece, Kendra."

"Oh."

"That's not very enthusiastic, Mr Cutter."

"Why do you want me to meet Sandra anyway? For a date?" His voice was slightly patronising. "Don't you think I might be just a little too old for her?"

"Kendra," she corrected. Van Buren then went on chuckling to herself, as if thinking of a private joke. "Oh Mr Cutter, trust me, she'd go to town with a middle-aged hotshot such as yourself." She took a bite of her taco.

Cutter's mouth dropped, nearly speechless again. "Is that what this whole conversation has been about? Pimping out your underage niece for... Is she even in college?"

"She is not underage, she has just turned nineteen," she reasoned slowly and calmly. "And she's in her softmore year, so she's hardly jailbait."

I have bottles of wine older than that.

She hesitated for a moment. "She kind of asked me to find her an older man... preferably a lawyer," she confessed. "So I thought to myself, no problem, I'll just nab one from the DA's office."

"And of course you just instantly thought of me?" He concluded, suspicious of Van Buren's intent.

"You're single," she pointed out optimistically.

He nodded slowly. "Ah, of course," he said without a hint of optimism.

"Don't be so flattered. So is that a yes, Councillor?"

He sighed with exasperation. "I guess I have no choice."

"Great. Drop by my place this Saturday, and I'll introduce you."

I expect her cheap perfume will reek of stale candy. "Well if she's into vintage, I'll have to remember to bring a bottle of 1948 merlot and a platter of stilton," he replied, his tone deadpan.

Wiseass, she cursed. Cutter's trademark sarcasm and cheap-shots certainly were the downfall in is charisma, and Van Buren was one to quickly learn that his use of them was not restricted to the courtroom, but what kind of prosecutor would he be without them? Besides, he was almost perfect dating material, with his considerably good looks and law degree, Van Buren figured he'd be a catch with her niece.

Cutter realised that his blackberry had been buzzing, and stopped to scroll through his long list of text messages. He noticed one new message in his inbox, and recognised the number attached to the message, it belonging to his ADA. "It's Connie. She's probably wandering where I am," he informed her. "I'll have to tell her that the Lieutenant held me hostage to get me to go out with her deprived niece." He glanced down at the screen, laughing at the joke he had just made.

His eyebrows arched in response to the message, not sure if he had read it properly.

'Hey Shaz, my boss Mike has the sexiest grey hair, and a great ass.'

No, that can't be right, he told himself. Connie wouldn't think that. At least not about me. And she wouldn't write about it in a text message, would she? His expression turned discerning. Maybe she meant another Mike, but the message made it quite clear that she was talking about her boss, and she didn't have any other bosses named Mike that he knew of, so she had to have been referring to him.

Van Buren noticed the change in his expression. "Everything alright, Counsellor?" she enquired with concern.

He glanced up at her, his thoughts briefly broken. "Oh, um, yeah everything's fine," he reassured her, forcing a smile. He quickly looked back down at the screen of his blackberry.

He checked the sender's number again, and confirmed that it did indeed belong to Rubirosa, and realised that the message in question was probably not intended for his eyes to see. A small smirk spread across his face as he read the message a second time.

So, Connie thinks I'm a looker, does she? He chuckled, sliding his blackberry into his pants pocket, feeling pleased with himself. Must be that knew cologne I've been wearing. Van Buren probably thought he had won the lottery with the unmistakable twinkle in his eyes and the satisfied devilish grin that played on his lips, as they continued to walk along the lengthy sidewalk.

"You're suddenly in a good mood," she noted, as they quickly crossed the busy street. "What was that all about? Don't tell me Crowe has decided to agree to a plea bargain already?"

"No, no, we've still got a long way to go on that," he replied biting into his taco, referring to the case Van Buren had mentioned. He slid his free hand into his coat pocket, and exchanged a besotted glance with her, his eyes still twinkling, reflecting back on the words of the interesting message he had been sent accidently by Rubirosa. It seems that you were right, Lieutenant. The ladies do go for an older gentleman these days. "I, um, I'm sorry to break it to you Lieutenant, but I'm going to have to raincheck this weekend. Something else has just come up." He glanced over at a small jewellery store at the end of the street, and his eyes turned wistful with the thought of Rubirosa, who he thought also had a great ass. Being the age he was, he thought he may as well buy something nice for his level-headed and beautiful assistant, considering the fact that, despite working as an honest civil servant for a living, he had the money to do it with, and not a lot of time left to find someone he could share it with.

The end.

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