Author's Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or its characters. This story was based on some beautiful fanart by taylertots on Tumblr. I needed more drunk/horny!Riza in my life, so I created some.
It was Riza's 28th birthday, and Rebecca had put together a little party for her at Madame Christmas's. Riza had originally been against it, as she wasn't particularly a party person, but Rebecca had convinced her to go (by which I mean dragged her) to the bar after work. It hadn't helped that the guys had egged Rebecca on.
When they'd arrived, Riza gave in. She needed a good break, and decided to really let go this time. Her previous birthdays weren't ... pleasant, her back tingling as she thought about one specific birthday. So, she ordered her favorite drink: Screaming Orgasm. Fuery's face when she ordered the drink made her laugh, which shocked everyone else. When was the last time they'd heard her laugh like that? Rebecca took full advantage of the situation, buying a round for everyone.
It didn't take long before Riza was completely sloshed. Most of the team didn't notice, caught up in their own affairs. Falman and Breda were arguing about the merits of different sorts of ink; Fuery was sobbing in the arms of one of Madame Christmas's girls; Havoc was trying to convince Rebecca to go back to his place for old time's sake. But Mustang had been keeping an eye on Riza throughout the whole evening, watching her chat with his "sisters", playing darts with Rebecca, always with a huge smile on her face. He didn't drink much, he knew the danger signs when he saw them.
Rebecca saw him watching her, and brushed off Havoc to go sit next to Mustang. "You know, she's ... different when she's drunk."
Mustang slowly took his eyes of Riza to look at Rebecca. "How so?"
Rebecca looked back up at the bar and grinned. Turning around, Mustang saw his lieutenant rubbing up against a very uncomfortable Havoc. Riza's eyelids were lowered, the top button of her blouse unbuttoned, and she was not so subtly pressing her chest up against Havoc's arm. Havoc glanced over at the place where Mustang was sitting, and seeing him watching them, instantly got a terrified look in his eyes and held Riza away at arm's length.
Mustang's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Rebecca chuckled, "Looks like she may need some help, Colonel." She had gotten her point across and went back up to the bar to help Havoc. Mustang followed her back.
"Why don't you help her?" He asked. She was the one who put the party together and dragged Riza here.
"I've got plans." Rebecca said, smirking up at Havoc. Mustang rubbed his eyes. Goodness knows he wasn't going to turn them in for fraternization, but he really didn't want to deal with Riza in this state. Speaking of fraternization ...
"Hey, Colonel." Riza had found a new target. Mustang's eyes widened as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You know how you're useless when wet?" Rebecca and Havoc were cracking up behind him.
Roy narrowed his eyes, any pleasure he felt from Hawkeye's gentle touch gone. That was a low blow and completely uncalled for.
"Well, I'm not." Something happened to Roy's face that hadn't happened in a very long time: he blushed. Riza sidled closer to him, pressing her face against his neck as she played with his hair. Roy's blush deepened, and Rebecca stepped in to try to save him.
"Come on, Ri." Rebecca placed her hand on Riza's shoulder. "You can find someone better than the lame alchemist." Riza shot a glare at her friend and tightened her grip around Mustang. Mustang pleaded silently with Rebecca, and she finally pulled Riza away.
He took a few minutes to calm down, listening to Rebecca and Riza chat. "You want someone who knows what they're doing. He's an alchemist, he probably doesn't even know how to use his gun." Riza giggled.
Mustang felt affronted. "I know how to use my gun just fine!" he announced to them, instantly appalled at what had left his mouth. Rebecca looked over at him, smiling wickedly. Damn her. This was exactly what she wanted. She released Riza, who immediately reattached herself to Mustang, stroking his cheek.
"It's all right if you need some help handling your gun, Colonel. I'm an expert gun handler." Moving her hand around to the back of his neck again, she stood on her toes to whisper into his ear. He struggled to keep a straight face as she took his hand and moved it toward her. "Besides, you know what they say about alchemists," her hand brought his to a place Mustang had often thought about touching. He could barely concentrate as her lips brushed his ear, sending shivers all over his body. "They know how to make it fit." The combination of all the things Riza was doing was starting to make standing while she was leaning on him something of a challenge.
Havoc noticed Mustang's condition and laughed. Rebecca was shocked as she realized just how far things had progressed. She had intended to make the situation uncomfortable for Mustang, but this ... was a little much. "Should we do something?" she whispered to Havoc.
"Nah. Hawkeye always had a special way of making the chief stand at attention." Havoc gave Rebecca a knowing look. She raised an eyebrow. She didn't know that Hawkeye had gotten Mustang into this position before. Interesting. It seemed Riza wasn't telling her everything.
Mustang moved his hand up to her shoulder, trying to get control of this situation. Riza was drunk, very drunk, and she needed something other than what she was asking for. "Come on, Lieutenant, it's time to go. Put on your coat and I'll take you home."
"Why don't you make me, sir?" Shit. She had found that spot on the back of his neck that always ... No. They were in front of the rest of the team. He put his hand firmly on hers to stop her, his face still bright red. Stepping back, he grabbed her coat from the chair she had been sitting on and held it up in between them. She pouted at him.
"I wanted another Screaming Orgasm. Although," she grinned. "I suppose you could give me one." She tried to smile seductively, but gave it too much lip. She looked more like a duck.
Mustang sighed and closed his eyes for a second. Rebecca and Havoc left together, laughing out the door. Some help they were. He managed to get Riza's coat on her, or at least resting on her shoulders, and steered her out the door. He put his arm around her shoulders to keep her steady. In the car, she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He supposed that was better than trying to mess with him while he was driving.
Her voice was very slurred when she said, "You smell nice, Colonel." He glanced briefly down at her. Her eyes were closed, and she had the faintest smile on her lips. Her arm was tucked into his, her hair spilling over his shoulder. Looking back up, he smiled. This was a really wonderful sensation.
She was asleep by the time he pulled up to her apartment, and when he woke her up, she wasn't able to walk on her own. He sighed, although not displeased, and picked her up. He carried her up to her door, gently letting her lean against the wall as he looked for her keys in her purse. He couldn't find them, and he tried to get an answer from Riza as to where they were. She mumbled, "pocket", and Mustang's shoulders slumped. He checked her coat pockets, but it wasn't there. He wrapped his arm around her so she wouldn't stumble while he searched her pants pockets. It wasn't in the right one ... she sighed happily, opening her eyes to give him the sweetest look he'd ever seen on her face. His heart nearly stopped. He didn't allow himself to think about that look, and found the key in her other pocket. His arm still around her, he unlocked the door and escorted her inside.
He had to pick her up again to get her to her bed. Laying her down again, he planted a soft peck on her forehead, to which she gave a soft "mmm" of contentment. He turned to go, but she grabbed his hand, her reflexes surprisingly good, considering her current state.
"Don't go." she said quietly, her big, brown eyes turning him into jelly. "Please." His heart rose into his throat as her grip loosened into a gentle grasp. Her face glowed as he sat down next to her, and she moved over so he could be more comfortable. He could never say no to her.