All right. I've had writer's block for a seriously long time now, so I decided I'm just gonna write something for fun without putting any heavy expectations on myself. So I have no idea how far this is going to go. I guess it depends on how well it's received and just how much I wind up enjoying working on it. That being said, I do hope you like it. I had fun writing this first chapter.

x

"Bonnie, whatever you're doing right now, I need you to stop it and come rescue me from this hell-hole. I'm serious. Quit screwing around and get your ass up here. Your mom is getting ready to send out a search party, and Cousin Mike is driving me up a wall. When you get this, call me back, and then put your ass in gear. All right? Bye."

"Way to be melodramatic, Tony," I said, tapping my phone against my forehead before tucking it away in my pocket. Knowing our family, I could get where he was coming from, though. Which was why I was lying on the hood of my car at a highway rest stop instead of on the road, heading for Grandpa Aberdeen's secluded mountain home. I should have been on my way an hour gone, but nobody would know the difference by the time I finally arrived at the family reunion.

Except my cousin Anthony, apparently. Poor guy. Suffering. Alone. His sacrifice would be remembered.

Night was starting to fall, though, and as much as I was enjoying loitering, I was a girl traveling on her own in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I had a hidden knife in my wallet, and I knew how to throw a punch, but it'd be easier to spend the rest of the night on the road than having to knife my way out of any potential trouble.

"Where have you been!" Tony hissed in my ear. I was back behind the wheel, pulling out of the rest stop lot. My mom hated it when I used the phone while driving, but what she didn't know couldn't hurt her.

"I got lost," I lied, picking up speed on the narrow mountain road.

"You have GPS," Tony said, clearly not fooled.

"Yeah, but you know how I hate being told what to do," I said.

He made a pained noise as somebody shouted in the background, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. "Please just get here. None of these people appreciate sarcasm. And Auntie Lou won't stop being casually racist."

"Don't worry," I said. It was darker on the road, with trees pressed right up to the curb on both sides. Grandpa's house wasn't much farther away, though. I figured I should be there in another half-hour or so, and I told Tony as much.

"You'd better," he mumbled, sulky.

"All right, let me hang up so I can concentrate on the—whoa." Something flashed through the trees, bright and blinding for a split second, leaving a weird afterimage behind my eyelids when I blinked.

"The whoa? What whoa? Bon? What is it?" he asked, sounding mildly alarmed.

"Nothing, it's…some kinda green light." Pulsing green, just a brief flash at first, fading, but it came back stronger, sustained. I would have dismissed it as mountain-weirdness if it hadn't kept throbbing through the trees like a freaky heartbeat.

"What, like an aurora?" Tony asked, bewildered.

I sighed. "We're a little far south to see an aurora, Tone." But what else could it be? Fireworks? I couldn't hear any booming, and it was a little late in the year even for the most hardcore patriots to be setting off their Fourth of July stock.

"Maybe it's aliens," Tony suggested, and if he'd been in the car I would have hit him. He knew stuff like that freaked me out. A girl driving by herself in the mountains, and freaky lightshows start up—I'd seen this episode of Unsolved Mysteries.

"Shut it," I said. I was getting closer—or the light was getting brighter—and I was seriously considering turning around.

"Ju-t hu-y up an- -et –ere, no a-iens w- upd—t –ou."

"Tony, you're breaking up I can barely—," I rounded a bend in the road and saw something hovering in the air. It was about ten feet above the pavement, green and spitting, like a hole in the world. I could see through it, see mountains covered in snow, and God why hadn't I just wasted a few more minutes at that rest stop?

All right, it was pretty high up and I could see the road on the other side. "Tony, I'll call you back," I said. I firmly pressed the end call button, and then stuffed the phone back in my pocket as I coasted toward the Thing. Both hands on the wheel, I thought. I was going to gun it, shoot underneath and then not look back until I was a safe distance past. Whatever a safe distance from this Whatever it Was should be.

My tires screeched, and my poor, beat up Nissan shot forward, barreling toward the Thing like a runaway bull. In hindsight, I should have turned around and found another route, but 20/20 and whatever, right? The Thing throbbed again, another bright pulse of sickening green and I was doing fifty by the time I passed under it. Just as the damn thing exploded, of course.

Light blinded me, seared through my flesh and into my bones. I thought I was screaming, but I couldn't hear, could only feel my throat tearing as the light of a thousand damn suns turned me to ash. It went on forever, for an eternity. It was over within seconds. One moment I was careening toward the light, the next my car was skidding across a flat expanse of snow and it there was no green light, just a wall of trees.

And now I could definitely hear myself screaming. I slammed on the brakes, not that it did any good, but my car fish-tailed and seemed to sink into the snow. With a mighty jerk, it came to a stop, the right-side tires lifting completely up off the ground before crashing back into the powder.

For a moment, I just gripped the steering wheel, panting and shaking, foot jammed so hard on the brake pedal I could feel my toes going numb. Then—where the hell did all this snow come from? I gaped through the windshield. Snow covered everything, freshly fallen. And there was no road, just a trail left by me across a rolling field. Where—how?

I couldn't form a coherent thought. Something was buzzing in my ears, and at first I couldn't figure out what it was. Then I realized—the radio. I'd turned it down low when I'd gotten in the car so I could talk to Tony. Now I turned the volume nob and heard at a slightly higher decibel what I'd been hearing for the past few minutes—static. I rolled through my presets, then grabbed the tuner, but it was the same on every channel. Nothing but static.

"What the shit," I whimpered. There shouldn't be any snow. It was early fall, and even in that part of the Appalachians, it didn't snow until much later. And where in the world was I that there was not a single radio station? Had I been transported somehow, through time and space? That couldn't be possible but…all I had to do was look out the window to see I was not where I should be.

Get out of the car. That was a good idea. I couldn't drive the damn thing through so much snow, not without any roads. I'd have to find some high ground, see if there was any…anything around. A town. A house. Hopefully not one occupied by an axe murderer.

I grabbed my bag, just in case, and slung it over my shoulder. My knife was in there, and all my money, not to mention a few snacks because I always carried snacks. One thing I hadn't thought I'd need was an extra coat, and that was exactly what I didn't have.

As soon as I popped the door open, I swore at the gust of wind that cut through me. All I had on was a t-shirt and jeans, and a light hoodie. My All-Stars weren't exactly made for winter hiking either, but I didn't have anything better. There was a pair of slip on sneakers in the back seat, and a blanket rolled up in the trunk from a concert I'd gone to that summer. But I wasn't about to wrap it around myself just yet. I figured I'd need freedom of movement, and that I'd warm up once I got started.

I was partly right. Soon enough, I was huffing and puffing as I made my way toward the trees. While I'm not exactly athletic, I'd thought I could handle a little trek uphill to get my bearings. With all the snow on the ground, though, it made everything hard going. Not to mention, my feet were already soaked and numb. Perfect, really. I was totally prepared for frostbite, after all.

Whatever. When I got back to my car I'd take off my shoes and socks and wrap my feet in something dry, then prop them up against the air vent with the heat on full blast. And it shouldn't take too long to get up the hill, or so I thought. Underneath the trees there was a lot less snow. Almost none, in fact. Most of it was caught on branches on the way down, and there was only a thin layer where the sun couldn't reach. Otherwise, I was walking on pine needles and other deadfall, which was a nice change of pace.

Then the uphill battle started. Everything was wet and slippery, and I wound up scrambling on all fours, gripping rocks and roots as I struggled to gain purchase. All in all, from car to the top of the hill it probably took me an hour to traverse about a hundred yards. John Madden would be appalled.

Muddy and damp, sweaty and panting, I stood at the top of the hill and turned in a slow circle. Mountains surrounded me on every side. And snow. And trees. I was getting close to screaming when I saw something that gave me hope. Smoke, rising in columns beyond the next hill. And on the mountain jutting into the sky before me was some sort of structure, a huge, fancy-looking building.

Even better were the people. I could see them far below—the drop on the other side of the hill was pretty steep. I crouched down to watch them trekking up a well-worn, muddy mountain path. It took me a minute to realize that absolutely every one of them was dressed like a complete weirdo.

Armor. Long robes, like a monk would wear. Strange dresses, and tunics. Were some of those people wearing culottes? Embarrassing.

I knew exactly what it meant, too. The worst thing that could possibly have happened.

I'd been transported to some kind of Medieval Faire. The kind where people dress up in old-timey clothes and talk like, "how art thee privy, huzzah!" Nobody was going to give me a straight answer unless I talked the same way, too. Screw that.

My phone was still in my pocket, so I dug it out, and held it up in the air. No signal. Because why would there be? If there were no radio towers around, I should have realized they wouldn't have bothered with cell towers either. Guess I'll have to suck it up, I thought. One of those assholes was going to tell me where there was a landline phone so I could try and figure out what the hell had happened to me.

First, I had to figure out how to get down to that path. I took three steps away from the edge of the hill, and turned back toward the trees—and there was a man standing there with an arrow leveled at my face.

"Holy shit!" I yelped, throwing my hands up. "Jesus, dude, you scared me!"

The man frowned beneath his hood—he was dressed just as weirdly as everyone else. Fur armor, though. I'd never seen a suit of armor made out of fur, unless maybe that was a Viking thing? This guy didn't look like a Viking, though. He had pointy ears, for one. Maybe I needed to reevaluate my Medieval Faire theory.

"State your business," he said in a funny accent. It almost sounded some variant of United Kingdom, but I couldn't put my finger on what part. Maybe Scotland? Not like I was an expert or anything.

"I, uh, I'm lost?" I explained, poorly. "I was trying to get to my grandpa's house, and I…well, I dunno what happened, but I need to find whoever's in charge here and borrow their phone." Another odd look, this one lasting longer, like I wasn't making any sense to him. I sighed, and dropped my hands to my hips. "Look, pal," I said, annoyed, "I'm not out here to LARP, or whatever it is you and your friends are up to. I need to call my mom so she doesn't think I'm dead in a ditch somewhere. Can you help me out, or not?"

"You…speak very strangely," he finally said.

"Yeah, thanks," I said, "You gonna show me how to get down from here, or what?" I was tired of standing there, ankle deep in snow, so I brushed past him and he let me, lowering his bow and arrow. I'd gone about five feet before he caught up and pointed out a trail that would lead me safely down the hill. Then he disappeared. Literally. I didn't hear him slip away, but I looked over my shoulder and he was gone. I guessed some people really got into that live action roleplay stuff.

Down on the trail, I got some odd looks. There was absolutely no one dressed in regular clothes, so I probably stood out like a sore thumb. I actually began to feel a little self-conscious about it as I hiked up the path toward the large building. More and more of it was coming into view, and it was really rather impressive. Like some kinda temple. Where the hell was I? Clearly not in America, unless all of these people were really good at faking accents.

At least nobody bothered me. Nobody seemed too keen on bothering anybody, in fact. There was a noticeable tension in the air that I picked up on. Everybody walked with their heads down, or else glared at one another silently. Mostly the guys in the robes glared at the guys in the armor, and vice versa. Some kind of feud was going on, apparently. Monks versus knights? Interesting. Or not.

Almost all of the berobed people carried staves or walking sticks worked to varying degrees of fanciness. Some looked like actual tree branches that they'd just picked up in the woods five minutes ago, while others were so ornate they looked like they belonged in a museum. Meanwhile, the knights were all armed to the teeth, carrying very real-looking swords and shields and big knives. Even some of the more plainly dressed people carried weapons, though not all, and there weren't many of them anyway.

For my part, I did my best to avoid eye contact, and felt very awkward and out-of-place. I couldn't feel my feet anymore, and my nice shoes were all muddy and so were the cuffs of my jeans. At least this temple place wasn't much further. The path opened up into a wide courtyard after zig-zagging between some high cliffs, and then there was the temple sitting up at the top of a flight of wide, stone stairs. It was beautiful, really. Elegant. Like something modern architects always strive for but can never hit on the mark. I didn't have the right words for most of it, but there were graceful columns, and a tiered, sloping roof that glittered in the sun.

Thankfully, I wasn't the only one gaping. A lot of people stood there blinking up at the building. Some had tears in their eyes. All right, the moment was over when I saw some lady fall to her knees and begin to weep. It was a nice building, but not that nice.

Looking around, I couldn't really begin to guess who was in charge. But there were some big guys in fancy armor standing at the top of the stairs by the open doors, so I figured they'd be a good place to start. Don't get anxious, I told myself as I crossed the yard and began to climb. I gripped the strap of my bag in both hands as I ascended, and could tell I was being watched from beneath those gnarly helmets. Whoever these people were, they'd put a lot of work into these outfits, I had to give them that. The metal shone like new, and definitely looked real. But it couldn't be. That much real metal would weigh a ton, and you'd need a real blacksmith to make something that detailed…wouldn't you?

"Something you need, serah?" one of the guards asked as I approached in a voice that sounded feminine to my ears. I didn't know who 'serah' was, but this one had a funny accent, too. Not quite what my brain was telling me it should sound like.

"Uh, I'm looking for someone who could help me? I'm lost, and I need to use your phone." The guard stared at me for a moment, then exchanged a quick look with her companion.

"What's a phone?" she asked.

Sighing loudly, I smacked a hand to my forehead and tried to maintain my composure. "Look, I'm not in the mood for the act right now. I was basically just in a car accident, and I need a phone, or—or I wanna talk to your manager!" God, I sounded like my mom, but I was freaked out and I wanted this little misadventure to be over already. Although, there was that evil little voice in the back of my head whispering that it wouldn't be quite that easy, that things weren't as they seemed and I was missing something obvious—but I shoved that away because it couldn't be true.

"…Manager?" the armored woman said, "Do you mean the Knight-Commander?"

"If that's what you call them, then yeah. Somebody who's in charge," who I could yell at until they stopped pretending any part of this game they were playing was real. The woman looked at her cohort again, and they both shrugged.

"All are welcome in the Temple," she said slowly, as if maybe I was the one having trouble with reality, "Divine's orders. No weapons inside, though…you don't seem to be armed. Knight-Commander should be with the other higher-ups in the East Hall. I'd steer clear of the mages, too. They're being more uppity than usual."

"Uh-huh," I said. Other people were climbing the stairs and entering the temple, in small groups that seemed to be steering clear of one-another. A few were leaving through the large, open doors, though not as many as were going in.

Just as I made to step past the big gal in armor, she stepped forward, nearly shoving me out of the way with hand on the hilt of her sword, and I couldn't help but glance back. "You lot can go through the servants' entrance. Round back," she said. I saw her companion join her, both blocking the way for a couple of pointy-eared folks wearing rough-looking leather armor.

"You just told her all were welcome; what difference does it make what door we go through?" one of them sneered up at the pair of knights.

When the woman spoke again, her voice was dripping with condescension. "You're not mages or templars. This entrance is for those actually involved in the negotiations, and there's enough tension with just them. You two can use the servants' entrance, as is good and proper."

Wow, these people really got into whatever it was they were doing up here. The two elves—they had to be elves, right?—looked genuinely indignant as they turned and headed back down the stairs. One of them actually tossed a poisonous look my way, like the whole thing was my fault somehow. What had the guards said, though? Only mages and templars were allowed through the massive double doors. Armored people were going through the right side, and robed people through the left. I was neither, but the guards hadn't hassled me. Maybe because I was dressed in plain clothes, so even though they had to keep up the act, they knew I wasn't really involved in their game.

Whatever. I put it out of my mind, and walked through the door. Inside was warm, contrasting so greatly with the cold just a few feet away. It was almost like I'd stepped through some invisible barrier, and I sighed, wiggling my froze toes inside my wet shoes. No frost-bite for me today, I hoped.

Now where was I? Robed people were mages, and the guard had told me to avoid them. So the Knight-Commander must be a templar, and so I should follow where they were headed.

Only, when I made to follow the latest group, a man in armor wouldn't let me go after them. "Templars only this way," he said gruffly, actually putting a hand on my shoulder as I tried to walk down the same hall the others had gone down.

Shrugging away from him, I brushed off my shoulder with a grimace. I don't like being touched, not by strange assholes in dollar-store armor, at least. "I need to see the Knight-Commander," I told him.

Snorting, he shrugged and said, "You and everyone else. Negotiations start up after midday. You can try to talk to him then, but I wouldn't bet on him having time to chat."

Well…what a rude bastard. I supposed I could just run past him when the next group came through. I mean, what were they gonna do, tackle me and put me in LARP jail? Rolling my eyes so he could see how very foolish I found all of this to be, I turned and paced across the large entrance hall. And saw there were other doors. Lots of them, most of them open, leading down other hallways, some up staircases. One of them had to lead around to where the Knight-Commander was. All I had to do was ask for directions at some point, right?

When Mr. Templars Only wasn't looking, I slipped through one of the doors, picking at random. The hallway beyond was dimly lit by flickering sconces. For the first fifty feet the walls were lined by alternating decorative mirrors and even showier paintings. Everything I saw looked like it must cost a fortune, though what and who the paintings were depicting, I couldn't say. People wearing strange clothing that could have been Medieval or Renaissance, but didn't look quite right. Not that I would know for sure, but it added to the sense of wrongness that seemed to pervade just about everything.

Stopping halfway down the hall, I stood on my toes to look into one of the sconces, and saw that it was lit not by a bulb, or even a candle, but by a smooth, pulsing stone. I saw no light switches anywhere, either.

All right, Bonnie, don't panic, I told myself, rocking back on my heels. There had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. Just like there was one for that flash of green light that had ended with me going from Western Massachusetts to East Chuckafuck Nowhere. Whether it was a wormhole, or aliens, or what, I had no idea, but I definitely didn't seem to be in Kansas anymore.

"No," I said, shaking my head. It couldn't be what I was thinking. That was impossible. Maybe…maybe I'd crashed my car, and this was all a coma dream. Or I was dead, and this was purgatory. Okay, not the most comforting thoughts, but somehow preferable to interdimensional travel. Just keep looking, I thought. There was still a chance I was getting worked up over nothing. Around the corner the hallway became lined with doors every twelve feet or so. Maybe one of the rooms beyond had a phone in it.

I poked my head into a few, but found only sparsely decorated rooms with narrow beds, almost like a college dorm before the new kids moved in. Another turn, and I was in another long hallway. More rooms, some filled with unused furniture, but none of them had a phone. Or a light switch. Or any modern amenities. I mean, there were some old-fashioned places in the world that refused to upgrade for the aesthetic, and made visitors use kerosene lamps and cook with a potbellied stove. But none of the lights I saw were powered by anything normal, and everything looked new rather than antique, like this place wasn't actually some weekend retreat that catered to historical fetishists.

The smells of food cooking began to permeate the air, which made me realize that I was totally lost, and probably very far from my original objective. It also made me realize how hungry I was—I had stopped to get McDonald's around noon, but that had been over six hours ago. And I had only eaten a granola bar when I'd stopped at that rest-stop, because I'd figured my relatives would attempt to stuff me like a Thanksgiving turkey once I reached grandpa's house. Honestly, I'd been looking forward to it.

What had that guard said about negotiations? That they'd be starting after midday, which meant that wherever I was, it was morning. Morning, and back home it had been just getting dark out. I was about to get seriously jet-lagged, but that could wait until after I'd found something to eat.

Food, and then I'd try and figure out what was going on. If I was in a coma, then I must have been hungry in real life, and if I ate and didn't get any less hungry, then that might tell me something. All I had to do was find where the food was, and hope that nobody would mind if I snatched a sandwich.

Only, I didn't get that far. I passed by a staircase and paused, peering up into the darkness. Had I just heard—there it was again! Somebody shouting. None of my business, probably, but…The cry sounded again, and it wasn't just shouting; somebody was in trouble. I wasn't sure how I knew, but the voice sounded distressed, and well, there was nobody else around. Maybe somebody had hurt themselves, and lending a helping hand could put me into the good graces of someone who could help me out.

Forgetting my stomach for the moment, I started up the staircase. Another cry, easier to hear on the landing, and I felt a sense of urgency come over me. I'd have to run, get there as fast as I could, because something important was happening and if I wasn't there—

I put my foot on the step above the landing, and then everything went dark. There was a period of nothingness in my mind, like a blank reel of film, but I could sense that time was passing, something was happening that I couldn't see or remember. I was aware, though. Like this was a dream where nothing was happening, but I knew I was dreaming and couldn't wake up. The nothing stretched on and on, endless, and then just when I thought that this would truly go on forever, that I would never see or hear anything again, I opened my eyes.

And part of me wished I had never woken up at all.

x

Well, there's the first chapter. Two things to note—in Bonnie's universe, Dragon Age doesn't exist, so she's never played Inquisition or any of the other games, or read the books, etc. She has no idea what's going on for the most part (because it's funnier that way), but the second thing to note is that Bonnie's last name is Trevelyan, sooo…What does it all mean?!

At any rate, I'd appreciate it if you could drop me a review *thumbs up emoji*