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Letters
LianFex
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A/N: More of a drabble. I see that I uploaded something after a...what? A year? 2 years? :|
To be honest, I'm just feeling a bit...Kristen Stewart-ish. If you know what I mean. :D
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You think that leaving means saving. You think we are worlds apart. You think that keeping me away means having to avoid heartache—that the mere possibility of loss is enough to drive away the fragile happiness we both built in the span of thirteen years. You think that you are not enough. You think it won't be worth it.
You're wrong.
Explain to me why I felt as empty as our house when you left. Please tell me why I have to bear this growing loneliness as I try to find your ghost on the space left on the side of our bed. It seeps on my bones, slowly breaking into chest. I see the remnants you left behind-the vacant dining chair, the rotting tomatoes on the fridge, the memory of your fingers weaving through my hair, your subtle scent of fire on my skin, the secret language that only both of us speak…
People say you have the reputation of breaking things apart. Houses. Bones. Naruto's head. My heart. You also say it's easier than mending things back together, like muscles and tissues. Like me. But you fixed me. You healed me even when you thought you couldn't. My self-esteem. My dignity. My worth. And I was happy. Believe me, I was. Until you were gone.
You say it was for the best. You say it was for me. But I don't believe that. If it was for me, tell me why I cannot find any reason to be anywhere but with you?
Sometimes, I think it's all a dream. And sometimes, I think I feel hurt enough to feel angry. But I don't. I just miss you. I miss you badly enough that I cannot cry myself to sleep. I miss you so much that I feel hollow inside and I feel like falling into a thousand pieces-those of which only you can repair.
But I should let go. As much as I am miserable without you, I should learn to live. Fix my life. Fix myself. Fix everything that you broke when you left. But I will never forget you. I will never forget us. And I'll hold on to that. I'll pray for your safety. For your vengeance. For your return to sanity. For your return to me.
Come back to me.
Please.