"You wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something Carter?" Fusco demanded as she slammed her cup of coffee on her desk sloshing some of the dark brown liquid across it causing her to curse. She angrily dabbed at the coffee with some tissue she had in her blazer pocket while she lifted her dark chocolate brown eyes up to her partner narrowing them on him. He held up his hands at her dark look. "Forget I asked." he looked back to his computer. She threw away the tissue her eyes never leaving her partner's maybe he might know where John was.
"Have you heard from our mutual friend?" John was going to be skinned alive when she saw him. She was going to have fun raking coals across his sexy backside for even thinking he could get away with this. Sure she knew he would avoid her like the plague, but this was borderline ridiculous. He just vanished, and she was growing concerned. She was sure that John would have asked for help even with their new complication of having slept together.
"No thankfully."
"Wait John hasn't contacted you either?" she had thought it was just her because of their complicated relationship, but he hadn't contacted Fusco either. Something had to be wrong, but what?
"Which is a good thing Carter! He's the bane of our existence remember." Maybe his, but John meant more to her, and if he was in trouble she wanted to help. Carter sunk to her seat piles of paperwork screamed for her to get started on but she couldn't. Not when there was a sinking sensation in the pit of her belly that told that John needed her. She always trusted her gut her instincts were never wrong. She was a good judge of character it was one of the reasons she trusted John so much. He was a good man underneath all that gruffness, hardness, and cold like exterior he exuded a vulnerability that he rarely let anyone see. She seen it a couple times most recently had been two weeks ago when he had come by her apartment which ended in them spending the night together. Joss pulled out the cell phone he always called her on. She quickly dialed his number lifting the black cell phone to her ear. When it continued to ring she tightened her lips pulling the phone away from her ear. But almost on cue the phone rang with a blocked number.
"Apologize first then you can tell me what you need help with John, and followed quickly with where we can meet so we can talk. We need to talk about what happened you can't avoid me forever!" she smiled giving him her list of demands waiting for his sexy low voice to either make a small quip or apologize. Either one would make her happy at this point she missed hearing his voice.
"Detective Carter I assure you I have no idea as to what you are referring too." her happiness quickly faded when she realized it wasn't John, but rather it was Finch.
"Hi Finch I thought you were John."
"I gather that."
"What's wrong?"
"I need to speak with you in private Detective Carter."
"Where's John?"
"What I need to speak to you about cannot be said over a phone how about we meet in person?"
"Okay." she scribbled the name of the restaurant down quickly hanging up with Finch grabbing her blazer off the back of her chair.
"What's going on?" Fusco asked as she breezed past him. She stopped to look at him for a moment.
"No idea but I am about to find out." with that she turned and hurried out of the station. Twenty minutes later she found the small diner that Finch had agreed to meet her at. She wondered why it was so far away, but she didn't question it. Reese had said that Finch was a private person. She sat down at a small booth with bright red vinyl covering ordering a cup of coffee while she waited for Finch to arrive.
"I like when people are punctual." she looked up when she heard Finch's voice. He was a short man with glasses, and kind blue eyes. He sat down across from her opening up the menu in front of him.
"What's wrong with John?" she asked cutting to the chase as to why they were meeting in the first place.
"I'm afraid something has happened."
"With John is he alright? Is he hurt?" Finch held up his hands to ward off any more questions.
"Mr. Reese has a few physical injuries, but it's the emotional ones that are distressing me more."
"Emotional? What's going on Finch? I need answers." she demanded. If John needed her then she would be there for him even if she was angry he was avoiding her because of the progression of their own relationship. But before Finch had the chance to explain himself the waitress came back over.
"Ya'll ready to order?" she chewed her bubble gum loudly which had it been any other time Carter would have told the girl that it was incredibly rude, but right now at this moment she wished the girl would just buzz off.
"I'll have the eggs benedict, and a glass of orange juice." Carter wasn't interested in breakfast all she was interested in was finding out what was going on with John.
"Just more coffee."
"Alrightie ya'll order will be up in just a few secs hun." she winked at Finch and whirled around.
"Finch, back to what we were talking about."
"Yes Detective we need your assistance."
"No you need to tell me what's the matter with John first I need to know that he's alright before this conversation continues."
"He's got minor bruises, and lacerations on his body."
"What happened?"
"He was hit by a car."
"He was WHAT?!" minor bruises and lacerations her ass! John was hit by a damned car, and neither one had thought about calling her to let her know. First she was going to inspect John to make sure he was truly alright, and then she was going to kick his ass for not telling her.
"As I stated Detective Mr. Reese is quite alright now. His bruising, and lacerations are healing."
"Define lacerations? Did he need stitches?"
"Some but detective I assure you he's quite alright."
"Not when I am done with him will he be." she growled under her breath. "What's going on Finch?"
"As you know detective Mr. Reese, and I receive certain information to help certain people."
"Yeah and when exactly are you going to get around to telling me how you get your information?"
"That's not important what's important is to know that not every act that happens is foreseen for us. Our information comes to us because its premeditated, and not born of spontaneity."
"O-okay can you skip ahead to the part where this has to deal with John?!"
"Mr. Reese was at the local community college trying to save a young co-ed from a stalker. This man had been following her for months, and Mr. Reese stopped the young man from raping, and killing her."
"Okay?"
"But while Mr. Reese was leaving as the police showed up to arrest the young man is when he saw an act of unforeseen violence that unfortunately Mr. Reese could not stop in time."
"What happened?"
"Do you recall hearing about an accident that happened several days ago involving a fourteen year old girl?"
"Yeah I guess her and her boyfriend were arguing, and he shoved her into the street in front of on coming car. She was killed instantly."
"Mr. Reese tried to save her life, but he couldn't get to her in time. He was clipped while the girl had been hit head on. He had tried to resuscitate her but to no avail. When the paramedics arrived is when Mr. Reese slipped away." she shook her head.
"He's blaming himself for that teenager's death because he couldn't get to her in time?"
"Yes, detective."
"Where he is Finch? I need to tell him that it wasn't his fault."
"Mr. Reese is in a dark place right now detective I'm not sure if it is wise to go speak with him. He hasn't contacted me in days now, and I need your assistance we a new person since he won't call me back."
"Where is he?" she repeated.
"Detective this person needs our help."
"So does John. Get Fusco on it, and I'll help once I have talked with John. Where is he?" she asked again. They paused as the waitress appeared with his plateful of hot piping food and his orange juice. Once she walked away did Finch lean forward once more.
"Detective, I'm not sure if this is wise."
"Finch please he's our friend and he needs us." Finch nodded his head in agreement.
"Maybe you will have better luck then I did." he pushed his blazer back and produced a fountain pen, and scribbled on a napkin before handing it to her. She took it and read the address before looking back at Finch as he pocketed the expensive pen once more. "Memorize it, and please dispose of it. We can't have anyone finding where our mutual friend is living." she nodded her head standing up from the booth.
"Thank you Finch." she hurried towards the door.
"Detective?" she sighed as she turned around before she could exit the small diner.
"Yeah?"
"Tell him for me that I am truly worried about him, and is the only reason why I gave his address to you." she smiled and nodded her head before she tore up the napkin, and disposed of it in the trash bin. She ran to her car repeating the address in her mind as she hurried to climb inside to go find John.
He gulped down the rest of the alcohol in the bottle. The warm liquor rushed down his throat almost enough to make him gag but he didn't. He held the bottle looking out the window that usually offered him peace and tranquility, but right now his emotions were so raw he felt like nothing would ever give him peace again. Everytime he shut his eyes all he could see was that girl's lifeless body. He should have seen it, ran faster, and then maybe she would still be alive. His body trembled as her scream echoed in his mind he had been so close to shove her out of the way so he could have taken the full blow of the car instead of her. But he had been a half a second too late. He threw the empty liquor bottle against the wall hard glass splattered across the floor shattering into a million tiny pieces.
Drinking himself into oblivion hadn't worked before, and it wasn't working now. He could still see her lifeless blue eyes staring up at him. He could still hear the screeching of tires the smell of rubber as the man tried desperately to stop before colliding into them. He blinked his eyes rapidly when a noise that suspiciously sounded like knocking filled his quiet apartment shaking him out of his reverie. The knocking became a pounding.
"John." he closed his eyes when her voice echoed through the apartment. He didn't want her here.
"Go away." he growled as he paced back, and forth his apartment eyeing his closed door angrily. But instead she tried opening the door but found it locked.
"Open up John."
"I said go away."
"No." he stalked over to the door throwing it open as his body trembled with a barely contained anger. He stared down at her hating the way his body reacted to her. He missed her. She was staring up at him with sad eyes as if she knew what happened which she probably did since she was here. Finch must of told her where he lived. He blocked her from coming in, and he kept his expression cold.
"Carter I suggest you leave now."
"I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. It wasn't your fault John."
"Go or I will not be held responsible for my actions."
"What you'll hurt me? I don't think so." she went to move inside, and he grabbed her arm in an iron tight grasp. Joss blinked looking up at him, and he saw the look of uncertainty in her eyes.
"Go away so I won't."
"You're drunk." she said quietly.
"You're not listening very well detective. I will say it one last time, and for your own good you will listen. Leave. Me. Alone." he shoved her back slamming the door in front of her face locking it.
"Shut me out that's fine. But I'm not leaving. I'll camp out in front of your door if I have too. You once told me I wasn't alone that you had my back. Well newsflash John it goes two ways. You're not alone either not anymore. You have my back, and I have yours." he leaned his head against the door as his body trembled fighting back the images of the little girl's face. He heard a rustling on the other side of the door. "Its comfy sitting here near your door I think I can sit here all night if I have too."
"Just go please." he wished for one damn time she would just listen to him. He didn't want to fight with her he just wanted to be alone.
"No I won't. I am not leaving you alone John, and as much as you claim otherwise you don't want to be alone. Let me help you." he didn't answer her he just continued leaning his head against the door. "So John how much have you had to drink today since its only eleven in the morning?"
"Not enough."
"Well to me I think you had more then enough. So how about real comfort, and let me in."
"You just don't give up do you?"
"Nope did you really think I would?" for the first time in days he felt a ghost of a smile tug at the corners of his mouth.
"No." but his smile vanished. "She had blue eyes Carter. They haunt me every time I close mine." he whispered.
"I'm sorry John.
"I tried to get to her."
"I know you did."
"But I didn't."
"John its not your fault." he pushed off the door so he could swing it open glaring down at her. She scrambled to stand up and hurry into his apartment before he had a chance to slam it shut on her again. He kicked the door shut keeping his eyes trained on her hating that she believed in him.
"How do you know its not my fault?" he stepped forward.
"I know you. How can you even believe its your fault John? Put the blame where it belongs on the person that pushed her into the street. Why do you do this to yourself placing the weight of the world onto your shoulders?"
"The girl would be alive had I just moved-" he stopped when she spoke over him. "STOP JUST STOP JOHN!" he shuddered as she stepped forward closer to him. "I know it hurts that you couldn't save her, but what about everyone that you have saved. Think about that think about all the good you have done."
"All the good I've done? What does it matter if I can't save a child? She was fourteen years old Carter, and I could have saved her but I didn't."
"You can't save everyone John! You can't I'm sorry to tell you this but you can't." she reached her hand out to touch him, but his body jerked back.
"Don't touch me." his voice broke as he felt a lump in his throat. If she touched him he wouldn't be able to send her away.
"Why not because you're some sort of monster? Because you're some sort of disgusting person?!" he lifted his gaze to hers as tears filled her big brown eyes. "John no one thinks that but you."
"You should think that of me."
"Why because you're human, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to prevent her death?"
"Will you just leave, and never come back?" he pointed to the door.
"John you can try to freeze me out all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that I am going to be here for you!" she pushed her blazer off her shoulders throwing it on the nearby sofa chair.
"I don't deserve that."
"There's that word again. Deserve. But what you deserve, or don't deserve isn't what's hurting you right now John. Guilt is. Guilt is eating you alive."
"Stop talking Joss." he said quietly his hands clenched into fists. He didn't want to hurt her, and the more she talked the more angry he became.
"I will not watch you destroy yourself with guilt. You tried to save her, but she died John. You couldn't do anything, and that's what is eating away at you. You couldn't save the child anymore then you could save Jessica!" John felt something inside him snap. He moved forward so quickly pinning her against his wall pinning her hands tightly beside her head in his. Her breath came out ragged as they stared at one another.
"Just because we had sex doesn't entitle you to barge into my life you don't know anything about who I am! All we had was sex you mean absolutely nothing to me." he wanted to hurt her make her hate him. Maybe if she did then she would leave him alone! But he didn't see any hurt, pain, or any fear of him in her eyes.
"You can say all the hurtful things you want I'm not going anywhere."
"Why won't you listen?" he dragged in gasps of breath as the pain of the last few days was trying to overwhelm him.
"You don't scare me John. You won't hurt me not in a million years would you hurt me." she whispered.
"You don't know who I used to be you don't know the things I've done."
"You won't hurt me." she repeated. His body trembled against hers. He wanted to scare her, but she wasn't looking at him fearfully. "You're a good man."
"No I'm not." he closed his eyes as he felt the hot wet tears slip down his cheeks. She tried to wiggle her hands free, but he kept them in a tight clasp as he leaned his head against her shoulder trying to reign in his emotions.
"Yes you are." he lifted his head opening his eyes to stare into her face. He shook his head in denial. She opened her mouth to say more, but he didn't want to hear it as he captured her lips with his. God she tasted so wonderful. He let go of her hands as he grabbed a fistful of her hair in one hand while his other cupped her cheek as he pushed her lips open with his tongue. Her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer when he wished she would push him away. The world slowly faded away and all he could see, and feel was her. He couldn't evade her anymore as she kissed him back almost as if she needed it more then he did. He slid his one hand down from her face down her neck brushing her breast lightly before caressing her hip through the fabric of her pants. He pushed away from her when the sound of her moan brought him back to where he was, and the fact that he shouldn't be touching her like this. He stepped away from her keeping his eyes on the floor.
"I don't need you." he wished it was the truth.
"No what upsets you is that you do need me John." he kept his gaze on the floor. "Look at me John." he was helpless to refuse her. He lifted his eyes to hers. "I'm not going anywhere so you need to deal with that. I don't just jump into the bed with a guy no more then you just jump into bed with a girl. It wasn't just sex between us, and it never will be."
"Leave, I don't want you here." he didn't think he had it in him to be a gentleman.
"No John I'm not leaving you. You'll have to pick me up and throw my ass out of here to get me to go, but I'll just be right back." John watched her for a moment but said nothing more. He watched as she rubbed her hands together. "So anything for lunch?"
"What about your job don't you have work to do?" his last ditch effort on ridding himself of her.
"Fusco will cover for me. I'll do some of his paperwork to thank him later. So John you get me all day long." she walked towards his kitchen pulling the refrigerator door open peeking in with disgust when she saw no food of any kind inside it. All she found in the fridge was alcohol. "So got any food in here John?" she demanded again opening cabinets looking for anything.
"No."
"Well I know of a good pizzeria close by here that should be open by now. What toppings do you like John so I can call them and order?" she asked walking past him but he stopped her before she could reach her jacket. She looked at him waiting for him to speak. But he didn't know what he wanted to say so he let go of her taking a step away from her. "Toppings John?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Well too damn bad you are eating something. You look like you haven't eaten in days John, and you need to sober up. Go on get in the shower, and shave you'll feel better once you do." she commanded but he continued to stand there looking at her. He didn't like it she was barking orders at him in his own apartment. However, maybe if he satisfied her with eating, showering, and shaving she'd just leave him alone. He wasn't ever going to forgive himself for not saving that girl, and once he made her happy he could once more be alone like he belonged.
"No peeking at me in the shower." he grumbled walking towards his bathroom yanking his shirt off as he made his way over towards it.
"No promises." she called out causing him to let out a soft chuckle that he hadn't done in days as he entered his bathroom.
Author's note: I think I have a sickness its called POI hahahahahahahahaha this show has got me all tied in knots and not in a bad way lol. The only other show I have adored this much is Psych. As you may or may not know I am a bit harsh on myself so posting this was because of some tough love from a few of my dear friends who literally said "post it or else" This was the original sequel but I tweaked it a bit since before it was going to be extremely long this story now is only a few chapters. This chapter is angst ridden, and since I love spoilers I will give a tiny little one for you guys it gets a bit hot for our loves in the next chapter ;) Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, and everything I adore you guys!