A/N: My first Noragami fic, hooray! This is inspired by the song "Rude" by MAGIC!, the "Onii-sama" translation note from the official release of Noragami volume 14, and a stupid 6am-and-we-haven't-slept-yet conversation with a friend. Probably OOC and the utmost display of my rustiness, but it was just meant to be lulzy, so I'm not too broken up about it.

Also this follows the manga, so watch out for any potential spoilers.

Enjoy!

…

Yato fiddled with the tie that hung smartly over his dress shirt, smoothing it down for what had to be the hundredth time and seeming oblivious to the trail of sweat he was leaving on it. It was a clip-on, but the man in front of him didn't need to know that. On his right, Yukine stood venomously quiet in his own formal attire. The shinki hadn't actually protested all that much in coming along, but it was clear he still intended to give his master the cold shoulder for dragging him into this right after a grueling day of work.

Hiyori's brother, Masaomi, stood as casually as ever. The carefree guy had never really been intimidating, but this was still delicate territory, and the god really did not want to know if the ability to pummel him into the ground ran in the family.

"So I, uh... H-Hey, I-... huh..." Frustrated, Yato tried again, "Onii-sama, you-..."

Yukine was practically grinding his teeth into dust. "Just ask him, holy hell."

"Hush!" Yato rounded on the boy, eyes narrowed and cheeks puffed out like a petulant child. "I'm going to, okay? You've already made me nervous enough, today!"

"Because this whole thing is so insane!" Yukine snapped back, "I can't believe I got sucked into another one of your whims! You were all, 'I need your support now, more than ever...' so I came, but you're just being weird again!"

Yato sputtered indignantly, but his shinki continued. "Do you even realize how many steps you skipped for this sort of thing? Have you even met her-..."

"What is this about, Yato-san?" Masaomi's calm voice suddenly cut through the rising tension like a knife. Yato was glad for the interruption, but it brought his mind back to the current predicament. He patted his tie, again.

"W-Well, y'see... I care about Hiyori very much, and she... cares about me very much, too. She said she wanted to be with me, and I know I want to be with her. So..." The god fidgeted, resisting the urge to wipe his hands all over his nice clothes, since they were sweating twice as much as usual. "A-And so, I wanted to ask you if I could marry her."

It wasn't exactly as eloquent as he'd planned, but at least he'd gotten the words out. Yukine, on the other hand, looked like he was tensing and deflating all at the same time, as the boy's face fell slowly into his palms.

'So much for supporting me... Was it really that bad?'

But to Yato's pleasant surprise, Masaomi's face melted into a serene smile. That was good, right? Maybe he'd left a better impression on Hiyori's brother than he'd originally assumed.

"Yato-san..."

The god felt his heart speed up in excitement. This was it – all his dreams about a small, humble wedding with Hiyori were about to come true. Maybe Masaomi would even pay for everything, now that they were friends. What a great guy! Yato just knew there had to be some resemblance to Hiyori somewhere in there!

"You know my sister is very dear to me, and so I'd naturally want what's best for her..."

Hell, he was in such a good mood that he might even invite that crazy stalker woman to the wedding. She could behave for a day if Kazuma was there to keep her boorish attitude in check, right? Maybe bearing witness to such pure white love would mellow her out. And of course Ebisu would-...

"... Which is why I must respectfully deny your request for my blessing, on account of you being a ghost with no job, no earning potential, and who hasn't even taken Hiyori out on a proper date, yet."

Masaomi's tranquil smile didn't falter, once, even as the man's body remained tense like he was one step away from physically chasing Yato out of the room.

The deity's mouth opened and closed several times, before he finally managed a response. "I'm not a ghost!" he cried, cheeks red with offense. "I'm a god! Besides, that shouldn't matter, and neither should money! Material items would never come between true love!"

"Yato..." Yukine warned in a low voice, a vein ticking dangerously against his temple.

Masaomi remained unmoved. "No means no, I'm afraid."

"Onii-samaaa! Why are you being so rude?!"

Yukine's escalating mood was almost tangible. Like the sound of a tea kettle going off. "Quit acting five, you sweaty loser! It's not helping your case!"

Yato shut his mouth at that, but continued making sour faces at Masaomi, who stared him down, in turn. Finally, the god diverted his gaze to the floor, but his brows were still furrowed in a pout.

"I'm gonna marry her, anyway."

Yukine turned absolutely purple, and Masaomi nearly choked in outrage.