Matsuoka-san?" Izuru whispered when he saw the red haired boy. "Who the fuck are you?" asked the boy with shark teeth. "I am Jesus. You must go to church now." Kamukura replied, his bored-ass expression remaining the same. "But I don't want to go to church! I want to swim!" Rin was extremely offended. "You can swim in my holy water. And become SHSL Swimmer. Miracle water. Much talent. Real SHSL. Whoa." Kamukura whispered to him. "I don't want to swim in your holy water tho. I only swim freestyle. A friend of mine taught me that." Rin swished his hair in a sassy manner. Kamukura swished is hair back, his long, black, neverending hair. He trapped Rin in it. "You must join SHSL Despair. Join the Holy water. Y" "Ew! Let me go, Kamukura! I don't want to join the SHSL Despair!" He struggled like a shark in a fishing net. It was very beautiful and despairing. Kamukura walked away, with his rapunzel braid still tangling Rin. " E" he murmured, as he brought Rin away. "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?!" Rin screamed. He was totally in despair. "To Hope's Peak..." he said, the melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya in his voice, and the despair of Junko Enoshima in his pants. "What the hell is a Hope's Peak...? Please tell me it's better than..." He whispers, a voice full of fear and hate. "Australia." "It's where... I will turn you in the most talented swimmer. In exchange for that... you'll become SHSL Despair." Kamukura says, smirking, knowing he won't be bored for a while. "But I already am the most talented swimmer... right?! And what does a SHSL Despair even do?" Rin was very confused. He didn't trust Kamukura. And he didn't trust his hair /at all/. "Then you must meet Aoi Asahina... she's in the Olympics already... and she's your age. A SHSL Despair... spreads Despair." Kamukura answered, when the two almost arrived at the Accademy. "O-olympics?! That girl stole my job! I will do anything to bring her to despair! Help me, Kamukura-chan!" Rin ordered this. His eyes glowing with willpower (and despair). "Of course... it wasn't hard to give you motive, ah? Also... she made out with Haruka." Kamukura stopped walking. They arrived... to Hope's Peak. "She did WHAT?! I will screw her life up!" Rin stared at the building. It was big and despairing. "Like the thing in Kamukura's pants probably", Rin thought. They entered Hope's Peak, and were greeted by Enoshima, holding a piece of Asahina's brain. "This is what you need to become talented and despairful!" She said cheerfully. "Don't hug me, I'm scared." Said Rin. He really was scared. But he also wanted to become talented and despairful. "Do I have to eat the brain or what?" "We're gonna... give you surgery." Rin was guided to another room, with a big light and a large bed. "I will be your neurologist." "W-wait what?! I-is this gonna hurt?" Rin was very worried. This was even worse than Australia! He knew he shouldn't have trusted the creepy man! "It won't... not much." After 1 hour of surgery, the SHSL Every Talent Ever changed Rin's brain. It was like new. "Donuts!" Rin screamed! He was full with life but not full enough we donuts. He really wanted donuts! He didn't know why. "There was a... complication." Izuru said, looking down in shame. "I think he went full moe now..." "F-full moe?!" Rin yelled, his eyes sparkling kawaiily. He didn't even know why they were sparkling. This was horrible. "How am I supposed to be the greatest swimmer, moe and despairing /at the same time/?" "...THIS IS SO DESPAIRING!" Enoshima screamed. "He became a moe! Sharknado is Moenado! I go to pool now!" And she ran off to the pool. "...Maybe you should also go to the pool and test your new talent." Kamukura said to Matsuoka, who was furiously eating donuts. Rin nodded and went to the pool. When he took off his shirt, dubstep music started playing from nowhere. He had that disease since he was small. Why, of all things, did he not lose that trait? At least he could swim like nobody else, now. Or at least that's what he thought. He jumped into the water, and... sank. Goodbye space sharkboy. "...He ate too many donuts..." Kamukura was in despair. He had every talent. Why couldn't he be as good as a neurologist as Matsuda-sama? The despair was overwhelming. But then he discovered, he didn't sink for the donuts. But it was Enoshima making him sink. "Upupupu... UPUPUPU! He sank! The SHSL Swimmer sank! How despairing...!" She said, laughing like a psycho. Rin managed to swim up to the surface again, heavily breathing. His shark teeth sparkled. It was very moe. But the moeness quickly ended when he noticed that Enoshima was laughing. "Enoshima... right? What the hell, you stupid baka?!" He's never heard of Enoshima before and thus had no clue who he was dealing with. "Oh... he survived? How so...? How despairing..." As she said that, Enoshima flied, using her pigtails as wings. "Goodbye, you meme loving fucks!"
Kamukura, not fazed at all by her, told Rin to start swimming. And he did. Sharknado didn't even have enough time to question how Enoshima was able to fly, because Kamukura ordered him to swim again. He didn't know why he would follow that creepy guy's oders, but he also didn't know why he wouldn't. So he started swimming. Fast. Sonic fast. "Are you happy now?" Rin asked moely. Kamukura felt the D(espair) start to rise in his pants. He was soaking wet. Also, biceps. "...Now, you'll have to spread Despair with me, though." "But how does that work?" Rin asked. "Do we have to fly like Enoshima did? I can only swim, not fly, Kamukura-chan-san!" Sharkboy was very concerned. "No. You will have to swim against Haruka Nanase and win. And give him... Despair..." In the while time, a very angry and sharky Asahina was watching. She wanted her talent back. And she would have it... soon... "I did that once and I'll be able to do that a second time! I will give him all the despair I can, Kamukura-chan-san! Oh... but don't you also have the feeling that somebody... is watching us? But then again, I'm probably just imagining things because that's how everyone brushes off seemingly unimportant things that get relevant later, right?" Rin stretched and unintentionally flexed his muscles in a moe way. "Of course. There's no way someone could watch us... unless... FANON KOMAEDA, WE'RE NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER! I TOLD YOU ALREADY! ...Disgusting...!" Fanon!Komaeda was Kamukura's ex. And, unsurprisingly, he was also watching everything, just like Asahina did. "Oh, Kamukura-kun, hope with me perhaps?" "N-no...! I gave up on Hope... Despair is Love! Despair is Life!" "A-ah... and who is this Sharkbait? Kuwata-kun and Souda-kun's son? What is he doing with you?" "...None of your business. Too despairful for you." This was a lot of new information for Rin. Who are Kuwata and Souda? Were they his true parents? And why did Fanon!Komaeda know about them? And what the hell was going on with Fanon!Komaeda's hair? "Fanon!Komaeda... Is it possible that you know who my real parents are? You have to tell me!" Rin had a mixed feeling of big hope and big despair in his stomach. "I will tell you... if you let me be with Kamukura-kun forever! Deal?" He didn't even know who Moenado's real parents were, but for his Kamukura-kun (and his only) he would do this and more! "Please, don't, Rin! Don't let him have me... This... is the worst despair..." Kamukura pleaded. "But isn't despair exactly what you want, Kamukura-chan-san? It would be the best for both of you!" It broke Rin's heart to give up Kamukura, but he knew he always had Haruka he could go back to. He turned to Fanon!Komaeda again. "It's a deal. As long as you bring me to my real parents - Kuwata and Souda - you can have him." "R-Rin... he will... he will not give you what you wish... and Asahina is hunting for you! You cannot be protected by anyone but SHSL Despair...! Please, don't go...!" Kamukura couldn't believe Fanon!Komaeda would... have him... again. He would be tied up by his own hair in a magic castle... he will be Rapunzel again... he was suffering already... "Hahahaha...! Kamukura-kun is mine now! And no parents for you, Rin! Sorry, I lied!" Fanon!Komaeda laughed, his eyes filled with yandere. Rin was shocked! "Y-you're a yandere? And you LIED?" There were exactly three things Rin hated: Australia, yanderes and lies. "Don't tell me, you're Australian, too! I take it back! Our deal never existed! We shall fight for Kamukura-chan-san in a swimming race... of DEATH." Fanon!Komaeda didn't know that he was changed into the SHSL Swimmer. And him being in a swimming outfit didn't imply that he was a swimmer at all, right? Things are going exactly to keikaku... "I am half australian. My mother was australian, my parents died while we were going there, hahaha! Alright! My luck shall let me win this!" And it happened. Rin almost reached the end of the pool, when then... a giant australian yandere titan with a "LIES" shirt came from the sky and ate Rin. "Golly!" Rin couldn't believe the fate that he was being eaten. With the last bit of his strength he called over to Kamukura. "Tell mom and dad... That I love them... Also! Never lose despair, Kamukura-chan-san..." His eyes slowly closed. It was very dramatic and moe, but most of all sad. "R-Rin-chan... he won... his luck... AAAAAAAAAAAAH?! THIS DESPAIR... IS... THE WORST...HAHA... HAHAHAHA!" Kamukura was crazy. Crazier than Fanon!Komaeda. And in a fit of despair he stabbed him- he stabbed the one who kept him tied for so long. "KAMUKURA WINS! KAMUKURA WINS! HAHA!" "A-ah... S-so this is where... I die? Well... I had the luck of killing Rin... but... my good luck is always followed by bad one... goodbye... my... beloved..." and as Fanon!Komaeda said that, he died. Rin heard Fanon!Komaeda die. And as the yandere died, he himself died, too. People all across the world will remember Rin as a moe asshole, which is why humanity still passes on his tale today. A very moe tale, in fact.