Picking up the phone, "Hello?" my voice sounded more chipper than usual.
"Hi!" a familiar voice replied.
"Oh, hi Helena! How are you?"
"Very well, thanks. Is Norman there? I couldn't reach him on his cell."
"Nope. He should be home shortly..."
"Can I speak with Mingus then?"
I looked at the blue eyed doll on the opposite side of the island in the all-white kitchen, "Mingus...?"
He shook his head dramatically, his shaggy blonde hair falling into his eyes.
Cocking my eyebrows in confusion, "Um...er...no, he's at a friend's. I'm just here getting a few things done for Norman."
"Well, I'll be in touch. Give Mingus all my love."
"Sure will."
Saying our goodbyes and hanging up, I placed the phone back on the receiver. "Alright, why didn't you want to talk to your mom?" I rested my hands on the counter top, grilling him with my eyes.
"Because she wants me to spend the summer in Denmark."
"And?" I leaned back up, crossing my arms.
"I wanna stay here with my dad this summer," he shrugged.
"Your mom would understand if you told her, Ming," I said, giving him a half-smile to reassure him.
"Yeah, but I know how she is and she'd still be a little hurt," sighing, he playfully plopped his forehead onto the kitchen bar.
I reached out and shuffled his hair, turning it into a blonde mess, "Just tell her, kiddo. It'll be okay."
"I'm no kid," he sneered causing me to let out a chuckle.
When I answered the ad for an experienced nanny 10 years ago, I was just a broke college student trying to make it out alive. Now here I am at 29, still doing it. I got attached to Mingus really quickly. Even with my two degrees, I can't find it in my heart to leave this behind. Did I mention my boss is the kindest, funniest, and most gorgeous human being alive? And he's an awesome father. And an artist. And one hell of a cook. And I'm hopelessly in love with him. I didn't plan it that way, but when you hang around him for years (oh, who am I kidding, mere seconds it all it takes), you can't help it. He draws you in and locks you up without you even realizing it. Norman plays none-the-wiser though. Maybe he's not playing, maybe he really doesn't notice my screaming, aching heart when he looks into my eyes.
"How about we walk down to the skate park until your dad gets home?" I offered in an attempt to cheer Ming up.
"Guitar lessons," he says, nodding over at his Les Paul in the corner.
"Oh, shit! I totally forgot!" I spin around to reach up into the cabinet for the cat food. "Let me feed Eye real quick, and let's get going!"
Mingus always got a good laugh at my scatterbrained-ness.
"Ha ha ha," I replied sarcastically while he grabbed his guitar up. "And get your hoodie, it's chilly out!" I shouted to him as he made his way down to the foyer.
On the way home from his lessons, Norman gave me a call saying I could take the rest of the day off and that if Mingus wanted to he could spend the night with his friend Cody who lived 2 floors down. I hated it when he cut my days short. I really liked hanging out with him and Mingus. I moved to NY for college from my home down in the south. I really didn't have anybody, a few friends that were always too busy to deal with the likes of me and that was about it. After I dropped Mingus off, I took my time driving home to my lonesome one bedroom flat on the other side of Manhattan. I hated being attached to them the way that I was. Hell, I was even attached to Eye.
Stopping at a red light I noticed Mingus left his 'lucky' hoodie (the hoodie he was wearing when the girl he had a crush on all school year had finally given him his first kiss, a secret he told only to me) in the backseat of my Jeep. Perfect excuse to head back, I thought. Man, I made myself sick realizing how desperate and alone I really was. I actually sat through the red (then green then yellow then red again) light debating on whether or not to drive back to Norman's apartment, but before I really answered myself, I was already halfway back to the luxury Manhattan apartment.
Getting off the elevator, I got butterflies in my stomach. Ten years and my heart still flutters crazily when I know I'm going to see him, ugh, it's sick. I knocked on the door several times before letting myself in with my key, figuring Norman was either napping or rocking out on his iPod while on the treadmill.
I was wrong...as I usually am.
"Oh, God! I am so sorry!" I cried, throwing my hands over my eyes in embarrassment.
"Christ! Allie!" Norman scrambled up from the couch, covering himself and his...accomplice...with a blue cashmere throw. The one I laundered today. Yeah, just throw it over the naked supermodel like she's not there.
"I am so sorry! Mingus left his favorite hoodie in my car and-" I took my hands away from eyes, still shutting them tightly, "-and I just wanted to bring it back, if I had known-"
"Allie, it's okay," he said, his sexy, smooth voice so reassuring until I remembered I had just caught him grinding on some chick I had never seen before. "This is Cassia, my uh-uh- my friend."
Barely opening my eyes, I overlooked the tall, thin blonde. She was gorgeous, of course. And younger. Couldn't be a day over 21. "Hi," I said evenly, though my insides were boiling with jealousy and hurt. I don't know why, I should be used to it by now.
"Hello," Cassia frowned, her accent thick and indistinguishable; covering her naked chest with a fraction of the blue cashmere.
"Um, I'll be on my way then, uh, here's the hoodie," I said, tossing it onto an armchair to the side and turning on my heel. "You two have a lovely evening," I said behind me, hoping there wasn't a trace of sadness in my voice.
"See you tomorrow, Al," Norman called after me.
I couldn't get out of that apartment fast enough. My whole body ached. I got back on the elevator, trying to find air...my chest heaving. You should be used to it by now. I was average. Completely average. He was perfect, in every way that a man could be perfect. Of course he would only bring home girls who looked like the just walked off the cover of Maxim. I slid down the steel wall of the elevator, burying my face into my hands. I felt this way every time...and I knew this wouldn't be the last time.
"This fucking sucks," I muttered to myself, wiping my damp nose on my coat sleeve.
I could usually peg Norman's girlfriends and how long they'd be in the picture. Cassia had stuck it out longer than I had guessed. 7 months now. Ugh. She was easy to hate, though. Sometimes I felt guilty for disliking the flavor of the week, but not with her. She was very rude, presumptuous, and immature...but not in front of Norm. She was a sweet little angel when he was around, which made me hate her even more.
But today, today's the straw that's going to break the camel's back.
"Mingus! Turn that damn thing off!" she screeched from the office.
We were hanging out in the rec room. Mingus, totally oblivious with his headset on and lounging in his gamer chair. He having a good time with his friends, chatting on X Box. I ignored her whining, just one time, relaxing on the couch with Eye on my lap looking through one of Norman's art books.
Barging up the hallway, her cellphone glued to her ear (as usual), and into the rec room, "I said turn the damn X Box off! It's too loud! I can't concentrate!" I rolled my eyes at her in Norman's favorite Circle Jerks shirt and her short shorts.
Mingus pulled his headset off, glaring into her, "No."
Cassia sighed and hung up her call, she was seething. "Don't make me count to five!"
Laying the book across my chest, I gave her fair warning, "Don't speak to him like that, he's not a baby. And it's not even that loud. Maybe you should talk business at your own apartment." Eye in the Dark jumped off my lap, sensing the tension in the room.
"If he's not a baby then why the hell are you still here? He's too old for a nanny! I've been telling Norman for months now!" she threw her hands up, exasperated.
"Yes, because you have been around long enough to make those decisions," I said coolly.
"I'll have you know, Nanny Dearest, that Norman has asked me to move in with him," the corner of her mouth curved upward as she placed her hand on her hip.
Mingus jerked the headset from his ears and dropped the controller, not speaking as he hurried out of the room. I flinched hearing his bedroom door slam shut.
Getting up to follow after him, I bumped her purposely with my shoulder, "Good job. I'm sure that's something Norman wanted to have real discussion about with him, you didn't have to blurt it out like that."
"Get used to me being around, Allie."
I sneered, exiting the rec room and heading down the hallway to Mingus' bedroom door. "You okay, kiddo?" I asked, tapping on the door with my nails.
"I just need to be alone right now." I had never heard him sound so hurt.
"Okay," I reluctantly waived, not wanting to bombard him with a therapy session. I knew he'd talk to me when he was ready.
I sat out on the terrace alone, wrapped in a fleece blanket and watching the twinkling Manhattan lights below me. Cassia had left, when...I don't know. I was just thankful she was gone for the night at least. I lounged across the wicker chaise, my eyelids growing heavy. I woke with a start hearing the terrace door slide open.
Mingus stepped outside, pulling his hood over his head, "Hey."
I swung my legs over to sit up straight, "Hey kid. You alright?"
He shrugged, propping his elbows up on the stucco balcony, "I guess."
I gave him a half-hearted smile, "You know, I'm going to tell your dad about what happened with the Russian princess today. That's going to take care a lot of this problem."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I know," his voice sad and his eyes downcast.
"Well...what's on your mind, Ming?"
"Why can't my dad fall in love with someone like you?" he turned to look at me.
My stomach churned over, but I managed to fake a chuckle, "Mingus, c'mon now. I've known your dad for years now, it's not like that." I wish it was. God, I wish it was.
"It'd just be nice, you know? I mean, if he's not going to be with my mom...I just want him to be with someone who's nice and laid back...someone I can count on to be there for me and him," he sighed again, looking too old for 13.
"Ming, I'm always going to be here for you and your dad, no matter what," I said, getting up to stand beside him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, my eyes misty with tears. I adored this kid. "I always got your back, dude."
He turned to look at me, his smile looking like his dad's, "Ditto."
Our conversation was interrupted as some of the apartment lights turned on through the glass behind us.
"Norm's home," I grumbled. I hated being the bearer of bad news.
"Well, dad's not going to take hearing about Cassia very well, so I'll be playing guitar in my room," he said, almost sympathetically patting my shoulder.
"Hey, you're making me tell him by myself?" my eyes followed Mingus to the sliding glass door.
Reaching for the door handle, "Better you than me!" he winked. "He knows I hated her guts," Mingus grinned before going back inside.
"Hello?" I answered my cell, squinting in the dark, trying to see my digital clock.
"Allie?"
"Sean?" I asked, my voice dry from a deep sleep. "It's 3 am. What's up? Is it Mingus?!"
"Um, no. It's Norman. And me. We're fucking plastered," he giggled.
"Dammit, Flanery," I groaned. I should have known this would happen with Sean being in town.
"Look, he needed to get his mind off of Cassidy!" Sean argued.
"Cassia." I frowned saying the name. "It's been like 4 weeks, he should be over her by now."
"Whatever. Anyway, homeboy won't let me put him in a cab. And I'm too drunk to drive."
"Where are you?" I said, sitting up in bed, switching on my bedside lamp.
Sean slurred a few times, but I finally got the address of the bar they were at. "Okay," I muttered. "Tell Norman I'll be there in 20."
I threw my blankets off me, part of me grumpy from exhaustion, part of me secretly flattered Sean thought to call me. In just my undies and a black ribbed tank, I pulled on some grey yoga pants and zipped up a pink hoodie over my top. I sleepily searched my apartment for my keys, giving my long, black hair a run through with my fingers. I didn't want to be totally unfortunate looking, even if he was drunk.
Sean greeted me as I pulled up to the curbside by Bemelman's Bar, his arm wrapped tight around a very drunk Norman. I rolled my window down, "You boys owe me," I joked, switching into park.
Sean opened the door, helping Norman slide into the passenger's side, "Take care of Reedenstien for me, love!"
I gave Sean a fake salute, "Yes sir."
"Babe, thank you sooo much for coming to get me," Norman smiled lazily at me, his blue eyes hidden behind his Ray Bans.
"Yeah, yeah," I said, putting my Jeep into drive.
Norman slept all the way to his apartment, which wasn't much of a drive. When we got into the parking garage, I unbuckled him as he snored. You precious little shit, I smiled to myself. Getting out of the Jeep and walking over to the passenger's side, I opened the door, "Norm, c'mon," I said, grabbing up one of his limp arms and draping it over my shoulder. God, you smell so good. I shook my head, trying to make the thoughts go away. "C'mon Norm!" I said again, giving him a little tug as he aimlessly stepped out of the car and rose to his feet.
"You're such a sweetheart, Allie," he slurred, his hand tightening onto my shoulder as I led us into the elevator.
"Don't mention it," I sighed.
When we got into the apartment, it was quiet. I forgot Helena was on hiatus and Mingus was with her. It was going to be a lonesome month for me...and Norman too. I waddled awkwardly with Norman by my side, halfway supporting him as I struggled to make it over to the white leather sofa in the living room. Shuffling around, his Ray Bans dropped to the floor. "Oh, shit," I muttered, "we'll pick them up later," I said, trying to keep him from bending us over to reach them.
"Almost there," I said breathlessly, pulling Norman alongside me. Finally making the last step to the couch, Norman dropped onto it, taking me with him. Right into his lap. I sucked in a deep breath and held it, not knowing what to do.
"Hi," he said, his fingers resting on my jawline, giving me a drunk but dashing smile.
I was frozen. Frozen more than a deer in headlights. I don't even know if I was breathing. Get up, get up...get out of his lap. He's drunk. Get up! I couldn't move though. His eyes were a little red and his breath smelled like straight vodka, but I couldn't turn away from him. I managed to murmur, "Um. Uh. Hi...?"
His fingers brushed across my jaw to my chin, he extended his forefinger to rest on my bottom lip gently. Now I really couldn't breathe, or speak, or move. His other hand rested on my thigh. "You're the best, Al."
I nodded, my eyes wide with fear.
"Thank you for everything you do for me and Mingus," his voice was soft and husky. He still sounded a bit drunk, though, which was the only thing that kept me anchored to reality. His forefinger swept back and forth over my bottom lip.
"You-you're...you're welcome," my voice trembled. Then I realized, it was not just my voice, but my entire body. I was paralyzed by this man. This man I had spent the past 10 years of my life worshiping in secret.
His hand on my thigh moved away to find the zipper of my hoodie, his eyes locked with mine as I felt the zipper going down. My heart pounded. "Norman..." I said, so unsure.
"It makes sense, you and me," he said, as the zipper reached the end, coming undone, his hand slipping down my shoulder in an attempt to disrobe me.
My heart pounded. My stomach's not flat. I have stretch marks on my boobs. I still have that zit on my back. I'm not wearing any fucking makeup. My brain always had good way of bullying me. I grabbed the end of my hoodie, zipping it back up. "Norman, I can't," my voice cracked. I wanted to cry. I was not good enough for him, drunk or not.
"Allie?" his hand dropped from my chin, his red eyes concerned. I bet he never had a woman turn him down.
"I need to go," I said, climbing out of his lap, fishing around in my hoodie pocket for my keys.
He sat on the sofa in disbelief, "Why?"
"I just need to go. You need to sleep it off. I know Mingus is with Helena, but if you need me around this week, call me," I felt my lips fighting the urge to quiver as bolted to the front door, turning around and stealing another glance at Norman. He looked genuinely confused. I sighed, opening the door and making my way out of there.