Hey, Slushie Addict here! Sooo, I kinda have a confession to make. I think I'm kinda into making stories with Heather Duke in 'em. Is that even healthy? I dunno, she's probably the most malleable character in the whole damn fandom, she's only depicted as a bitch through and through in the musical and the movie. Okay, I haven't actually seen the movie, but I saw the part where she threw a finished chicken drumstick backwards in the girls' locker room. That was fucking hilarious btw. I also love happy endings, so I try to avoid the canon ending. Or to be more specific, the canon universe altogether. I should really stop here, I don't own Heathers!
XXXXXX
"Bring out the cake!" Heather Chandler declared, with everyone but Veronica leaving the large room. Veronica groaned, managing to drag herself outside Ram's house before vomiting out whatever she had just consumed two hours ago.
"I... I regret everything..." Veronica gasped, catching her breath after her Heather Duke moment of purging whatever was consumed. She then felt a tap on her shoulder, which prompted her to turn around. "Who... Who's there...?"
"Me. Nice blend of colours nerd." Standing before Veronica was Heather Duke, clad in her usual green attire. In her hands was a water bottle and some medication, for what illness Veronica didn't know. "Here, for you."
"... Is this Heather's way of telling me to kill myself before she kills my social life on Monday?" Veronica slurred, her vision starting to blur.
"No, this is my way of telling you to eat the fucking meds so that your hangover won't suck tomorrow." Heather Duke sighed, shoving the medicine into Veronica's hands. She stared at Heather Duke blankly, as though she was told to make out with her. "Well don't just stand there! Eat the fucking pill!"
"Why... why are you bein' so nice to me?" Veronica asked, staring at the medication. Heather Duke rolled her eyes, folding her arms as she replied back in mild irritation.
"Because I was like you back in freshman year, except no one was there to tell me hangovers are a bitch. And honestly between you and me, you don't wanna end up like me."
"End up... like you...?"
"There are two options Heather has, one is to kill social life to the point of being suicidal. The second is to raise your social status until you want to kill yourself from the inability to withstand the pressure of being so fucking popular. I got the second one, and I'm not kidding you when I say that death seems great to me at this point."
"... Why are both of her options ending with the unlucky person committing suicide?"
"No idea, she chooses the fate of that person based on personality. She's a mythic bitch through and through." Heather Duke shrugged, her brown eyes roaming back to the house. "You better eat your meds now, and motor. Heather can't hold Heather off for long."
"You mean... you're not supposed to be out here?"
"Pffft, no. As Heather's slave, I can't disobey her. Fucking up my freshman year was already bad enough, I still want to live to see prom night." Heather Duke laughed playfully, surprising Veronica that such a side to Ms 'No Discernible Personality' existed. "You better walk home, Heather may love to see your picture in the obituary but I don't."
"... You should nicer more often. People... people would really like you if you are..." Veronica gulped down the medication and drank some water, her head starting to clear. Heather Duke scoffed, turning her back on Veronica.
"It's a one time thing." Heather Duke replied, the light from the house framing her unusually broad shoulders. "Don't get used to it Veronica."
"Uh huh..." Heather Duke walked back into the house, and Veronica could make out Heather Chandler's silhouette opposite Heather Duke's. The colourful language blasting out from the house was enough to chase Veronica away. She considered going to Jason 'JD' Dean's house and fuck since she's going to be socially killed on Monday, but decided that she should just go back home and sleep off the medicine she had just consumed. 'What the hell did Heather give me anyways, feels like I just ate anaesthetic...'
XXXXXX
"Veronica, you have a 'kick me' sign taped to your back." Martha pointed out, helping Veronica to remove the sign. Veronica sighed, correctly guessing that Heather Chandler had taped it to her back when she was in the washroom during third period. "Who would tape such a thing to you? Usually it's just me."
"Martha, don't sound proud that you get yourself taped. Anyways, Heather Chandler probably taped me in third period. No biggie, senior year's about to be over." Veronica replied, the lunch tray she was holding being slammed out of her hands by Heather Duke. "What gives?!"
"Gives me an excuse to talk to you. How's the meds?" Heather Duke replied, glaring down at the two girls. Veronica eyed the green clad girl with suspicion, picking up her tray warily.
"Feels like anaesthetic. What the fuck did you give me?!"
"Aspirin. If I wanted to give you anaesthetic, I would have just kicked you when Heather taped that note on your back." Heather Duke replied, her eyes going back to Heather Chandler, who was a few metres away from them. Heather McNamara was busy talking to the red girl, but the pleading look in her eyes told Heather Duke that she should really get going. "Gotta motor, hope your life's a living hell from now bitch."
"Fuck you." Veronica answered, turning away from Heather Duke as she and Martha went over to an empty table to have lunch. "Hey Martha, how was Heather like in first grade?"
"Which one? There's cheerleader Heather and yearbook Heather."
"Duke. Sheesh, you weren't even close to Heather McNamara in elementary school."
"Heather Duke? She's... really kind, and she doesn't like to stand out. She loves alcohol?"
"At a young age?! Jesus, the Heathers are crazy..." Veronica shook her head at that revelation. "I'm so glad you left early last night."
"Well technically, you asked me to. Ram didn't really notice me last night, maybe I should talk to him later in sixth period!"
"Martha, no. Don't talk to Ram for fuck's sake. He doesn't even treat you like a human being!"
"He's just not open because it's not a nice place in Westerburg."
"I agree with you wholeheartedly with the second part, but no Martha, Ram's not into you!"
"Well you like JD."
"What?! Noooo that's crazy talk. I just want him to protect me from all these bitches."
"Hey Veronica! Heads up!" A voice yelled out, the next minute Veronica was covered in some black liquid. "Hahahahaha!"
"Damn it. What the fuck is this anyway?" Veronica groaned, getting herself yanked up from her seat and out of the cafeteria. "Hey, what the fuck?!"
"Unless you want to risk cancer, we're gonna wash the ink off." Heather Duke replied, revealing herself to be Veronica's knight in shining armour. "And before you ask, this is not me being kind. This is just me not wanting to get into trouble later with Ms Fleming."
"I was actually about to ask how the fuck did you distract Heather again."
"That? Told Heather to make out with Heather. You'll be surprised at how willing Heather is to tell the whole fucking school that she's a dyke."
"You asked which Heather to make out with which Heather?!"
"Yellow to red. Anyways, strip. Your clothes are soaked." Heather Duke instructed, assisting Veronica in the removal of her clothes. "Jesus, Ram has a lousy aim. We wanted to miss, just a scare y'know. Never imagined him actually hitting you."
"When you said 'lousy aim', I was under the impression that Martha was his target." Veronica commented, removing her skirt while Heather Duke removed her blazer (which the Heathers bought for her).
"Dumptruck? He doesn't even notice her. Urgh, your bra's inked too. Fuck, you brought extra?" Heather Duke groaned, examining the black stains on the white cloth. Veronica shook her head, which made Heather Duke sigh. "Fucking hell. Okay fine, did you bring pads?"
"Heather, I know for one that sanitary pads can't clean off ink stains."
"I know that!" Heather Duke snapped, glaring at Veronica as though she was the stupidest person in school. "I brought extra bras, but we all know that my implants upsized my bra size years ago. So we need something to stuff the bra with, and pads are one of the best stuffing material."
"... Should I know why you know that pads are great for padding bras?"
"Take a hint. Anyways, you stay in a cubicle while I go ransack Heather's locker for pads. I'm guessing you don't have any with you." Heather Duke huffed, storming out of the washroom. Veronica locked herself in a cubicle, waiting for Heather Duke to come back.
"I must be dreaming right now. Heather Duke is helping me out again and we're actually talking as though we're friends. Me, being friends with a beta bitch? Man, I'm either still high on the weed from Ram's party, or I'm in a coma after getting hit by some car last night."
"V-Veronica? Are you alright? Your clothes are all over the floor." Veronica sighed in relief, grateful that Martha entered the washroom they were in. "Where did Heather go?"
"Ransacking Heather's locker for sanitary pads. I shudder to guess which Heather was she referring to."
"Oh about that... I met her just now, and she told me to give you some and a bra? I think Heather was yelling at Heather for making her make out with Heather."
"... That's dandy and all, but what about my top and bottoms?"
"Well I could lend you my sweater? It should be big enough to cover up till your knees?" Martha offered, throwing some pads, a bra and her pink sweater over the door.
"You mean to say that you're wearing something underneath your sweater?!"
"O-Of course! What did you think I have under my sweater?"
"... You don't wanna know."
XXXXXX
"Heather? What the fuck are you doing here?" Veronica asked Heather Duke, who was leaning against a slushie machine. Heather Duke stared back at her, waving a slushie cup in her hand as though the answer was obvious. "Uh... freezing your brain?"
"Where the fuck did you get that idea from? No, I'm here to enjoy something that I can't purge out from my stomach." Heather Duke replied, sipping on her drink. "Care for a hit?"
"You're starting to remind me of JD now." Veronica shook her head, memories of JD flirting with her last week. "Oh yeah, I stuffed your bra back into your locker."
"Hopefully the right one."
"One locker has pom-poms, the second has makeup kits in them, and the third has magazines featuring skinny models. I think I got your locker right."
"You did. Anyways, I'm surprised you still haven't appeared on the news yet."
"Do you want me to?"
"... No."
"Neither do I. Besides, committing suicide is exactly what Heather Chandler wants, and I'm not going to give it to her."
"Hahaha! You actually think that she wants to see you dead?! Yes, she does, but she enjoys the process of her victims suffering much more." Heather Duke scoffed, refilling her cup with more slush. "That's what she's doing to me. She's waiting for me to break, and the past three years was a turn on for her."
"I didn't ask the other night, but how did you fuck up so bad with Heather?" Veronica asked, remembering their conversation after the party.
"Threw up on her shoes, and drained six bottles of tequila on her head. I was real drunk then, and I had a pretty good alcohol tolerance if I say so myself." Heather Duke smirked, eyeing Veronica with curiosity. "Why do you want to know? Using this as blackmail? That I became a Heather because I fucked up and Heather wanted to make my social life a living hell?"
"That sounds tempting, but no. I'm just interested to know the not so bitchy side of Heather Duke."
"Are you trying to flirt with me? Because if you are, trench coat kid's gonna cry if he knew that you're cheating on him."
"I'm not dating him."
"You pretty much lusted after him after he busted Ram's and Kurt's asses."
"Well I think he's just badass. No love there."
"That so? Does that mean you're a dyke too?" Veronica flinched, her eyes starting to grow as wide as saucers. "Hope that you get a decent girl to spend your life with."
"... Why are you so nice to me? You gave me meds, you lent me your big ass bra, you're talking to me right now even though we shouldn't, and you even wished me good luck on finding a nice girl to love without any malice! What's your motive?!"
"Good question. I have no idea, but I just don't want to be such a mega bitch like Heather." Heather Duke replied, a depreciating smile on her face. "Y'know, Martha was my only friend. But you two got closer after Ram freaked out about hanging out with her in first grade. I can't hang out with Martha because of our family status. I should hate you, and make your life a living hell. But I just can't, and it's not because of Martha."
"I thought it was because you pushed her off the slide in third grade."
"That was what Ram did to me. We just ignored her. Fast forward to freshman year, and I'm puking my guts out all over Heather Chandler. Not a pleasant experience."
"I can imagine. Heather's not really trying to make my life a living hell though."
"More of her going soft on you because Heather asked her to."
"Speaking of those two, are they actually dating?" Veronica asked, still surprised to hear that Heather Chandler was willing to make out with Heather McNamara. In public no less.
"Oh yeah. Heather does a full 180 whenever she's with Heather. Sweet, kind, smiles like a normal person... I get creeped out whenever I encounter them on their dates." Heather Duke shuddered, while Veronica looked amused.
"Is it a good idea for you to be bitching about them with a slushie in your hand? To me of all people?"
"Why not."
"Watch out Heather, you're turning your one time kindness thing to a daily kindness thing." Veronica playfully warned, with Heather Duke shooting an uncomfortable glance.
"... Whatever. I'm gonna motor, have fun freezing your brain with slush Veronica." Heather Duke abruptly ended the conversation, exiting the convenience store without looking back. Veronica shook her head, reaching out for a slushie cup herself.
XXXXXX
It soon began to turn into a routine, with Veronica getting herself into trouble and Heather Duke coming to her rescue. The latter always said that it was not because she's being kind every time, but Veronica knew that she was just making excuses. It had gotten so frequent to the point that Heather Duke went against Heather Chandler, something that she hadn't done ever since freshman year.
"Heather, what the fuck is with you and ink?!" Heather Duke angrily yelled, glaring at Heather Chandler. She was soaked in ink from head to toe, while Heather Chandler and the rest of the class guffawed at the sight. "You're a real bitch."
"Yeah? Have you forgotten that you're my bitch? Why the fuck are you always coming to Veronica's rescue?" Heather Chandler questioned, receiving a pout from Heather McNamara. "I don't mean it that way Heather. She's just my servant, you know that."
"Ew, save your lovers' quarrel for later. You know what?" Heather Duke removed her signature green blazer, now smudged in ink. "I'm rebelling against you. I don't give a fuck about you, and I certainly don't care if you try to put me on tomorrow's headlines."
"You'll regret saying that Heather." Heather Chandler seethed, while Heather McNamara offered Heather Duke a pitying look. Heather Duke scoffed, turning on her heels and storming out of the room. Veronica, who was behind Heather Duke, decided to follow her to god knows where.
"Veronica, stop following me." Heather Duke started, walking towards the nearest washroom. Veronica didn't listen, and continued to follow the former popular girl into the washroom. "Seriously Veronica, stop."
"Nope. You helped me out, I'm gonna return you the favour." Veronica said, holding up Martha's pink sweater. "Martha lent it to me a few months ago, I keep on forgetting to return it."
"... All I did was to save you from being bullied, it's no reason for you to help me out now." Heather Duke mumbled, unbuttoning her shirt. Veronica said nothing, she had made a good point. Then again, it was against her morals to ignore someone who was just bullied.
"Well if I don't, I'm going against my morals. Speaking of morals, why the sudden rebellion against the demon queen of Westerburg?"
"I'm sick of being her bitch. I just want my last two weeks as a senior to be like how it was before I threw up all over Heather's shoes." Heather Duke replied, snatching the sweater out of Veronica's hands. "Besides, I really, really don't wanna go to prom with those two knuckleheads."
"Ram and Kurt? Aren't they gay for each other or something?"
"They're still in the closet. Their dads are fucking homophobic."
"I see. Hey Heather, why did you save me just now? It's free study, no teachers around, and no JD. So why did you choose to offer me such kindness again for the... I don't know, for the hundredth time?" Veronica asked, glancing at Heather Duke's expression, which was now in a frown. "After all, you said that your kindness was a one time thing."
"And it should have stayed that way. But..." Heather Duke looked back at Veronica, the latter's warm caramel-coloured eyes boring themselves into Heather Duke's soul. "... I guess I can't keep my morals buried forever. Seeing you acting like me years ago just... dug 'em up."
"You make it sound like we're having a one-night stand, except you just found out that you're in love with me."
"Oh yeah, that too. I think I like you, but honestly I'm just being kind to you because I hate being such a bitch to everyone." Heather Duke casually confessed, as though it meant nothing to her that she may hold feelings for Veronica. Veronica blushed, not expecting to receive a confession no matter how vague or insincere it sounded.
"You... like me? This is... probably the craziest thing I've heard from you." Veronica replied, with Heather Duke nodding in understanding. Before any of them could say anything, a third voice interrupted their conversation.
"That's what she said!" Heather McNamara beamed, entering the washroom. "Heather even rejected me in public! Thank god she was kind enough to go out with me to prove that she wasn't gay."
"... Heather, when did you say that those two were dating again?" Veronica asked, surprised by the new presence.
"Um, sophomore year. You were out with a fever, and I took pictures of that rejection. It's one of the few blackmail I have towards Heather McNamara." Heather Duke replied, picking up her inked clothes from the floor. "Heather, what the fuck are you doing here?"
"Oh! Heather asked me to check up on you, since she doesn't want you to die of cancer!" Heather McNamara grinned, clearly happy about something. "Hey Ronnie, do you like Heather?"
"'Ronnie'?! Since when... ah you know what, fuck it." Veronica sighed, choosing to answer the main question instead. "If Heather over here allows me to take her to prom, I think I can settle my feelings by then."
"... You know, I was only kind to you. How did it turn out this way?" Heather Duke mumbled, secretly pleased that she was invited to prom.
XXXXXX
"Are you gonna apologise for using Heather for the past three years?" Heather McNamara asked her girlfriend. They were at their school prom, and were dancing to a slow song. Heather Duke and Veronica were also dancing, though it was a bit awkward. Kurt and Ram were spiking the punch with alcohol while JD and (surprisingly) Martha were at one corner chatting. Heather Chandler shrugged, bringing her girlfriend closer to her. "H-Heather?"
"Not a word about her Heather. I have a reputation to uphold as Westerburg's demon queen."
"I think you lost that reputation when you kissed me back months ago." Heather McNamara giggled, looking into Heather Chandler's misty grey eyes.
"Well, I think that it's best for me to be the demon queen with my own cheerleader princess ruling beside me."
"Aw, I'm a princess? What do you classify Heather as?"
"... A knight in black armour. Perfect for nerds like Veronica Sawyer." Heather Chandler replied, glancing at the couple slightly away from them. "Does Veronica return Heather's affections?"
"Maybe. I mean, the fact that she's at prom with Heather tells it all yeah?" Heather McNamara sighed dreamily, her attention all on Heather Duke and Veronica. "They look so perfect together..."
"Hm. Anyways, focus your attention on me Heather." Heather Chandler cupped her girlfriend's face and directed it to her own. "You have Westerburg's demon queen dancing with you, don't go looking at someone else."
"Ehehe. Sorry my queen." Heather McNamara said, placing a light kiss on Heather Chandler's cheek. Away from them, Heather Duke rolled her eyes at the scene unfurling in front of her.
"Gross." Veronica chuckled, knowing that Heather Duke thought otherwise.
"Just admit that they're cute."
"Oh please, Heather Chandler plus love is sketchy at best. The demon queen of Westerburg, actually in love with a girl so pure? I have my doubts."
"Like how I'm still doubtful if you really like me?" Veronica asked, her grip on Heather Duke's waist starting to tighten. "If it's just you being kind upon seeing my forever alone status, then I rather you just give it to me straight."
"Veronica. I'm not being kind right now. I do like you, honest. So, can I have the reply you promised me?"
"I like you too, the non-bitchy you that is."
"Ha! Me, not being a bitch? That's like buying a slushie and putting it out to thaw under the sun!"
"Actually I do that. I really rather have a normal drink over a slushie."
"Tch, don't ruin the mood Veronica." Heather Duke groaned, pulled Veronica closer. "Anyways, just shut up and dance."
"I am dancing though?"
"Urgh, why am I into a dork like you?"
"Because dorks attract bitches dressed in green." Veronica laughed, poking Heather Duke's cheek. Heather Duke pouted, ignoring the teasing smile her girlfriend (?) gave her. "Aw, someone's in a bad mood."
"Yeah? I think you have it badder for me than I have for you." Heather Duke laughed softly, pressing her lips against Veronica's. Veronica's body tensed at the sudden pressure on her lips, but returned it nonetheless. The kiss lasted for almost two minutes, with them pulling apart because they had to breathe. "Heh, for a dork you sure are good at kissing."
"Impressing a bitch like you sounds like a real compliment." Veronica shot back good-naturedly, with Heather Duke's lips pulling upwards. "So, would you kindly kiss me again my kindest girlfriend?"
"You don't have to keep on harping on my kindness if you want it so badly you know." Heather Duke replied, obliging Veronica's request.
"... If I told you how bitchy you are, will you kiss me?" Heather McNamara asked Heather Chandler, seeing her best friends kissing the night away. Heather Chandler rolled her eyes, sick of seeing Heather Duke and Veronica acting so cheesy.
"You're such a pillowcase Heather. Anyone with a brain won't kiss you if you diss them."
"... You're being mean again Heather."
"Well duh, I'm Heather fucking Chandler after all."
XXXXXX
Hey, Slushie Addict here! Okay so uh, I suck at romance. I've never fallen in love with anyone before, and honestly, the talk of romance is not common among people of my age around here! Yeah, as you can guess, I'm not from US fucking A or from any super liberal country! Anyways, it's 2.30 in the morning over here and I really wanna sleep. Hope you guys like this story somewhat and if you have any comments, feel free to tell me be it by a review or a PM!